This chapter is just Jess's thoughts right after he saw Rory in Let Me Hear You Balalaikas Ringing Out and some drabble about his book and what it's about. I think that's important, you know, and I disagree that it's all about Rory, I'm sure she had a part but she's believe it or not, probably not the compelete center of Jess's universe.
Obviously I do not own Gilmore Girls, if I did than Matt Czuchury would be very sad and broke because Logan would be very dead.
Look, I know I didn't deserve her and I know that I treated her like crap but this guy, Logan or whatever, he's the biggest most arrogant ass I've ever met. And if anyone truly does not deserve her, it's him. In fact I would go as far as to say he's worse than that floppy haired jerk, only possibly smarter.
Things weren't supposed to go this way, she was supposed to be in school, she should be achieving her dreams and watching me screw up not the other way around. I guess the reason I came was because I missed her. I missed her scary coffee addiction and the way she smiled. I missed arguing about Hemingway and debating the prevalent themes in Anna Karenina.
But now I sort of regret coming, I mean, who am I to come back after two years, after everything that happened between us and try to make it better by handing her a god damn book?
Yes, I wrote the book for her! I admit it, shouldn't that count for something? Anything? It's not the greatest book in the world it's just about my life in New York, Stars Hollow, and Venice, how these places and people shaped who I am. It's not supposed to be about me though, it's supposed to make the reader think about how the people in their life, no matter how small have changed them. It's what they're supposed to think anyway, but then again I hate authors trying to tell me what to think. They can think what ever the hell they want about it.
No one I know has read it yet, I'm giving Luke a copy, that I'm sure he'll read, but can he find himself in his own character? I think he's more complex than he realizes.
The real reason I wanted Rory to have it first is in a way it's about her, too. How she took a chance on a boy with a past, one her mother hated, how that chance meant everything to me, and yet I threw it away.
Sasha and Jimmy and Lily should read it too, they showed me some things, Sasha told me some things the whole world should hear about loving and living and helping yourself and all kinds of self motivation crap which is actually true.
And Lorelai's story, a sixteen year old girl lost in a world she doesn't understand trying to rebel in any way she can. But she made it and better yet, so did Rory. Lorelai may not have liked me, hell I think she hated me, probably still does for hurting her little girl. Her story, however, is such a common occurrence that people should know.
I didn't really write this for people, though, I wrote it for Rory, in my own little obscure way, I wanted her to know what she did for me, I wanted everyone to know. This is my way of thanking them for saving me from myself. Maybe someday she'll need me again and this time, I can take my turn and save her. After all, we owe eachother so much more than an a few eggrolls.
I'm thinking I'll continue this after The Real Paul Anka, but that's just a possibility, I have nothing set in stone. Please remember these are supposed to be his thoughts therefore they tend to jump around, it's partly me being lazy and also, who thinks in complete organization?