Embracing His True Self

I DID SAY I WOULD END UP EDITING IT :)

Chapter 18

"Mr. Potter you will come to my office the very second the feast is over, is that understood?" Dumbledore boomed over the now hushing Great Hall, all of them reacting to Dumbledore's anger, they all knew he wasn't easy to rile up, he always had a smile on his face, but it was times like those that they remembered vividly that he had defeated one of the darkest wizards the magical world had ever known - second of course to You-Know-Who. They swung around to see Harry's reaction, just out of curiosity and they blinked when they saw that Harry didn't even shed a single reaction he was just standing there looking bored of all things.

"Understood," Harry replied his tone firm, before he squeezed past Ron and Hermione and went to his section of the Gryffindor table just as McGonagall placed the hat on the stool and exited the Great Hall, bringing in the new first years who were predictably all gazing at everything with wide eyed wonder.

While everyone concentrated on Harry, Albus made his way to the antechamber and conjured his patronus, sending it off and repeating the process with the second one. He knew exactly how to bend Harry to his will, Harry might try rebelling against him a little, but all of them? There was no way, he needed approval and reassurance too much to outright antagonise every single one of them. It was one of the many reasons he had sent Harry to the Dursley's, he needed his weapon malleable. Until now it had worked a treat, he contemplated against punishing him but instead bringing him into his confidence on a few things, with the illusion that he trusted him. He would see how the meeting went, and what Harry had to say for himself before he decided that. He slid back out and reclaimed his seat, his genial mask back in place as if he hadn't just raised his voice at one of his students.

Ron and Hermione shared a bewildered yet resigned look on their faces, before they moved back to their seats. Both of them lost in thought, wondering if Harry was going to completely ignore them or if he was just preoccupied from what Dumbledore said. They were so desperate to know where he'd been, what he'd been doing and if he had truly been safe. They could clearly see he had been eating well, he looked filled out, not gaunt like he usually was by the time Hogwarts rolled around. His hair had grown in and in his new robes it wasn't a surprise half the school were drooling over his new…image. For the first time many began to realize that Harry wasn't a child anymore, he was growing up.

"Is it just me or is something different about Potter?" Blaise questioned, eyeing the teenager with trepidation and quite frankly like a bug under an enlargement charm. Giving polite applause to the Hat whenever it shouted out Slytherin to welcome the new firsties.

Draco nodded slowly, "There is," he murmured, he couldn't quite put his finger on it, and he absently wondered if it had anything to do with his fathers warning before his parents Apparated him to the magical platform so he could board the train for Hogwarts. His father had explicitly cautioned him from running his mouth first against any Gryffindors. That things were changing from what he knew, but he honestly hadn't truly understood exactly what his father was trying to get at. The fact he wasn't saying anything meant he couldn't and there was only one person who could tie his fathers hands, the Dark Lord, he thought reverently and not so small amount of fear. He doubted it had anything to do with Potter.

The other Slytherin's agreed, still eyeing Potter before they seemed to realize what they were doing and stopped. Glancing for the first time at the new first year Slytherin's they had, before quietly conversing with each other, but every now and again they would glance over just to see if they could figure out what was different with Potter.

"Harry?" Hermione said quietly, watching him from across the table, he was sitting there with one fist under his chin, the other rhythmically tapping his four fingers on the table looking torn between deep in thought and boredom. She'd never seen Harry like that before and she honestly didn't what to think.

"Suddenly remembered I existed do you?" Harry asked, staring at her in mock surprise, his green eyes glimmering in annoyance.

Hermione opened her mouth to explain they couldn't write, that Professor Dumbledore told them it was unsafe. Of course, she remembered exactly where she was, Harry wasn't going to react well, and she definitely didn't want him getting angry at her in the Great Hall where everybody could hear. No they would talk when they got to Gryffindor common room. After her prefect rounds, she had a responsibility to the first years after all.

"What the hells your problem?" Ron snapped, feeling very defensive all of a sudden, especially at the way he was staring at Hermione. He cringed under the glare Harry sent him, oh Merlin's balls, he wasn't just angry he was furious, he probably shouldn't have opened his bloody mouth. He was aware that sometimes he had no brain to mouth filter, but he just felt so defensive with the way Harry glared at Hermione. How she hadn't wilted under that glare he didn't know.

"Ron, calm down, and be quiet," Hermione urged, grasping a hold of his arm, listening to the speech Umbridge gave, after so shockingly interrupting Dumbledore as he was about to speak.

Ron didn't need to be told by Hermione, he was already looking away from Harry, only to realize that everyone nearby was watching them with curious speculation, going from them to the pink toad who was talking in such a disgusting voice. It wasn't the first time the 'golden trio' had fallen out, but this one was the most obvious of them all, even worse than what happened last year. He was starving, he hoped the food would come soon, he hadn't had anything on the train, with Harry not there to share his sweets, and his mum continued to forget he didn't like corned beef so it had been promptly stuffed into his bag and forgotten.

"I can't believe it," Hermione said indignantly, whispering due to the hush that had overcome everyone as they stared at the woman who would be their defence teacher - Professor Umbridge. "Did you just hear what she said?" turning to Harry only to realize he was still pretty much in the same bored position as before. Instead she turned to Ron, only to see him sitting bored too! They hadn't been listening, why did they never listen?

The food came and then there was a mad rush to fill their plates, all of them eager to eat after the long wait. Ron as always, was overfilling his plate, salivating at the thought of eating.

"Wha…?" Ron muttered, rubbing his arm where Hermione had lightly punched him for ignoring her.

"Didn't you hear what she said? She's interfering with Hogwarts!" Hermione whispered in a hushed tone, eager to tell everyone as if they didn't already know.

"Yes, she made that pretty clear, we aren't stupid," Harry drawled, rolling his eyes, before he continued to eat. Why was he finding her irritable? She'd always been this way, thinking that everyone was unable to think intellectually. He did have to admit the underlying message was quite hard to understand if someone wasn't listening properly and it was true in the past he'd constantly tuned out Dumbledore's speech. He had listened to this one; it wasn't every day that Dumbledore was interrupted, and the look on his face, twice in a single night, Merlin he was glad he had come back.

The pureblood's all glanced Harry's way, while he had never been a filthy eater the way Ronald Weasley was, he had never shown the proper decorum for the last heir of the Potter line. Yet here he was, eating properly, showing the proper etiquette. The Gryffindor purebloods were mildly surprised; perhaps a lot had changed after all. Had he claimed his heir status? Had someone been helping him understand the rules of pureblood society? Harry sensing the looks looked over his face impassive causing them to take a sudden very intense interest in their own dinners. Of course if they knew whom Harry had learned from, they wouldn't be quite so curious but more terrified than anything else.

Harry absently wiped his mouth, placing the used cloth napkin on the table, it was distinctively odd, normally he wouldn't have been able to eat even a quarter of the food on his plate the intense regimen he'd been on had helped beyond what he'd assumed his potion would be capable off. He was proud of it, extremely so, he'd never really though he'd get the chance to brew it when he was younger, let alone use it…not until he was sixteen at least and that was if he was able to find a place with a lab. The platters of remaining food, plates and utensils disappeared leaving the table completely bare, except where others had dropped food on the table, like a splatter of mashed potatoes that Ron was sticking his elbow in. It made his lips twitch despite his anger at them, same old Ron, some things didn't change and he was actually a little glad for that.

Then just as quickly the table filled with an array of assortment of desserts, Harry went for the glass bowl of fresh fruit, scooping up a large helping and placed it on his plate, while everyone else went for the sugary treats, cakes and ice cream. What could he say? He'd gotten too used to eating healthy, whenever he ate an excessive amount of sweet treats, Voldemort had looked at him with an air of…well Harry still didn't know what it was actually, lets just say he'd been unimpressed and ensured less was available for consumption but not completely cut off.

Harry frowned while he ate the assortment of fruits he'd heaped on his plate, what had that feeling been just now? Was he actually missing Voldemort? Oh, bloody hell, he was too, it could be just the simple quietness? He knew even as he thought it that he wasn't exactly being entirely truthful. Shaking his thoughts off, taking his time in eating his dessert, trying to put off this upcoming interrogation. As fun as the thought was, enduring it wasn't anywhere near remotely pushing fun.

"Come on Ron, we have to take the students up to the common room," Hermione said, but before she stood up, she glanced at Harry, "We'll see you in the common room?" it wasn't a statement, it was a question, showing how insecure Hermione was feeling in her friendship right now.

"I'll send you an owl with a reply shall I?" Harry asked sarcastically, standing up himself, he might as well get this over with, "Oh wait…I don't think I'll bother." he ignored Hermione's eyes misting up, they had to understand! They couldn't just do that to him, he was their friend! They were his only friends! Or had been, he liked Barty a lot, but they'd ignored him just because Dumbledore told them too. Now Hermione had done it, sure, but Ron? Ron who doesn't care about the rules overly much going along with the ride too? No, no he wasn't going to have friends who cared more about Dumbledore than they did him. He was going to put himself first from now on, even though he couldn't truly be his true self, he would let part of it come out.

Leaving behind devastated friends, Harry stalked out of the Great Hall; if he had looked back he would have noticed that a few teachers were already gone. Now that he was walking, or rather stalking towards the Headmaster's office, he suddenly wanted this over with; no more stalling it would only delay the inevitable.

It was only once he was in the corridor, the gargoyle at the other end did he realize he had no idea what the password was. Shrugging his shoulders, he pressed on; there was nothing he could do about that. Just as he got six foot from the gargoyle it began to move, apparently Dumbledore had realized he wouldn't know the password either. Or so he thought.

"Wotcher Harry!" Tonks said, her cheerful personality ever present, grinning at him despite everything as she walked down the gargoyle stairs.

"Tonks," Harry stated curtly, nodding at her, he had a bad feeling about this. He stepped past her and made his way to the Headmaster's office, Tonks not far behind him, scrambling to catch up, and ending up tripping up. Harry made no move to help her, instead he just opened the door without knocking - what was the point when he was already expected.

He wasn't prepared for his…arrival party. Dumbledore had summoned the order to be part of this? Well he assumed it was the Order since he knew certain members (thanks to Severus' spying) and they were all there. A new idea flashed through his mind, and he had to stamp down on his amusement, okay, this was definitely going to be fun. Dumbledore he though to himself, you've just made your biggest mistake yet. He wasn't going to bow to their pressure.

"Oh Harry!" Molly cried out, coming forward and embracing him, paying no heed to the fact that Harry did not return the embrace. He just stood there stiff as a statue until she withdrew a look of awe on her face, he was all grown up! For the first time he wasn't a skinny little thing, he was filled out, soon to be a man, oh she was proud of him, and he was like another son to her. She opened her mouth to say more before deciding against it, and reclaiming her seat.

His eyes roamed around everyone his lip curling just a tad seeing the looks on their faces, but a warning glare from Severus, urging him not to take unnecessary risks. Instead his face smoothed out, a hint of curiosity in his eyes; Dumbledore sat in the middle on his chair, lording over it as though he was a king. Huh, he'd thought Voldemort was the only one for dramatics like that, seemed he stood corrected. If he was waiting on him speaking, Dumbledore would be in for a long wait.

"Harry!" Sirius said, his grey eyes glimmering with relief as he embraced his godson.

"Do you know the trouble you've caused, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked his twinkle missing as he regarded Harry with severe disappointment.

"Trouble?" Harry queried cocking his head to the side, his green eyes glimmering innocently at Dumbledore, his brow furrowing as a show of confusion as Sirius who had stiffened at Dumbledore's words and gave Harry's should a squeeze before he sat back down. He didn't like being so far away from his godson or the fact everyone was judging him they didn't know what had happened yet.

"You know how important it is that you return to Privet Drive Mr. Potter," Dumbledore warned him, shaking his head sadly. "I have spoken to you about it many times in the past.

"Well if I had listened to you I would be dead," Harry stated his face still in his 'innocent I don't know what's going on' phase, even if there was a hard edge to voice now. Sound exploded from everyone, as they all called out wanting to know what the hell happened.

"Take a seat, Mr. Potter and explain," Minerva stated waspishly, conjuring a red gaudy chair, which Harry actually did sit in. The glare she gave everyone caused them to stop the noise they were making.

"Why? Will you listen this time?" Harry questioned her, surprised to see her cheeks go red, but her face become indignant.

"One more wise crack from you, Mr. Potter and you'll have detention before school has officially started back up," Minerva warned him, she did not like her failures being flung in her face so callously by a child she actually cared for.

"But it isn't a wise crack, Professor, it's a genuine question, you dismiss everything I've ever said to you as untruthful," Harry pointed out, his green eyes still meeting his professors, a tired defeated look in them especially for her.

Minerva opened her mouth but before she could say anything, Albus began to talk.

"What happened? Was there Death Eaters in the vicinity?" Dumbledore questioned Harry, completely ignoring the staring match between the Gryffindor and his head of house.

The Order sat forward, worried and curious, many thinking and wondering how Harry had managed to get away if that was the case.

"If Voldemort started taking on Muggles, yes, my uncle decided to start the summer off in good fun by beating the hell out of me," Harry stated bluntly, having to bite his lip at their reaction, had they all just collectively flinched at a name? No wonder Voldemort wasn't worried about them, they were utterly incompetent. "I'm sure he would have killed me if I hadn't managed to stop him." he sat back enjoying the accusations and shouting going on at his pronouncement.

"I hope he's dead," Sirius snarled viciously, his voice heard above the pandemonium in the room, panting furiously at his godsons declaration, the only thing keeping him seated was Remus. How dare that filthy muggle put his hands on his godson? He had met him once and it left a disgusting taste in his mouth, but he'd gotten back at the fat prejudice prick.

"Dead? What are you talking about?" Harry asked, giving his godfather a strange look, forcing bewilderment on his face for all to see.

"Harry…the Dursley's…they're missing," Tonks said delicately as if she thought he'd despair, despite what she had just heard.

Harry laughed, "Missing? They've probably fled England with their tails between their legs! Is there any sign that they've been taken?" already knowing there wasn't. He had been there after all, no there was absolutely no proof.

"No," Dumbledore replied, trying to take back control of everyone.

"That's because they aren't, they probably got scared after I left and ran." Harry said shrugging his shoulders.

"Scared of what?" Dumbledore asked tersely, knowing the Dursley's wouldn't have gotten scared of a little accidental magic since he had constantly used it as a child.

Harry disrespectfully popped his feet up on Dumbledore's desk, gazing at his fingernails, "I may have inferred that my murderous criminal godfather was coming for them," ignoring the anger blazing from those blue eyes at his statement, Dumbledore definitely wasn't happy with him now.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter, "I'll make a Marauder out of you yet, Harry," Sirius said proudly.

Harry grinned at his godfather, they had no idea it was amusing really. He supposed he did like Sirius a little, he didn't know him enough to really say he liked him a lot, or love him. He did wonder speculatively if he could get Sirius to go natural during the war, like he was, although Harry had a feeling in his bones he wasn't going to remain that way…he'd had too much fun during the summer, plus he was naturally a dark wizard and some of Voldemort's goals he agreed emphatically with.

"Do you know where they've gone?" Dumbledore demanded, sitting upright, he would need them back at Privet Drive the boy would be returning everything would get back to normal, he would have been relieved if his weapon hadn't gone against his wishes.

"No," Harry replied nonchalantly, "I don't care either," they would never see the light of day again; Dumbledore would never find them he didn't need to be a genuine to figure out what Dumbledore wanted.

"Where have you been?" Dumbledore then asked, his voice commanding Harry to tell him a blast of Wandless magic hit him, but it didn't absorb, his ring was doing its job all too well for that.

"Here and there," Harry said, "I didn't stay in one place too long, mostly from one hotel to the next every few days I didn't want to be found, I had no idea you were looking for me, why would I? I mean you're my Headmaster…Headmasters don't have a say in what their students do during the summer. You didn't know in my third year and you didn't bring me up here because of it. I mean there are hundreds of students down there right now who didn't spend their entire summer at home…" Harry pointed out, and Dumbledore wouldn't disbelieve him due to the spell he'd tried just moments ago, he would assume it had absorbed. Now he doubted Dumbledore would bring up the tracking charms, he wouldn't want to risk that getting out.

"Harry…has your uncle ever lifted his hand to you before the summer?" Sirius asked his grey eyes wide with worry.

Dumbledore's eyes widened comically, quickly clearing his throat, "Go on Mr. Potter, return to your dorm, I'm sure your friends are waiting on you." he wasn't going to risk Sirius Black finding everything out and complicating matters, he still couldn't get his mind around the fact that Harry had actually spouted out such words in front of the Order. He had made sure that Harry would never tell anyone; make sure that nobody would believe him. He was going to have to get very compelling; they weren't going to let him send Harry back quietly. He couldn't Obliviate them all, so that was unfortunately out of the question. He would have to make sure they realized Harry was exaggerating, he would just have to. "The consequences for your utter disregard for the rules means that you will not be allowed to play Quidditch this year, you are banned from flying, and banned from Hogsmeade." he warned the teenager, he would get through to the boy that he could do nothing without his approval, he was Albus Dumbledore.

"I have students to welcome," Severus stated, taking his leave, "Move, Potter, I'll take you to your common room so you don't break anymore school rules tonight."

"Yes, Sir," Harry stated speaking to Dumbledore, glaring at his Potions Professor, he stood up and left the room, biting his lip savagely, that was three times he'd seen Dumbledore's mask crumble in a single night. He literally had to keep himself from laughing, he hadn't done or said half the things he wanted to, but it was enough that Dumbledore would be trying to smooth over the cracks that were appearing in the precious order. Sowing discord was easily done, keeping it up was harder but if it was successfully executed eventually it would cause the suspicion to root deeply. Unfortunately for him…he knew some members of the Order actually knew about his abuse and didn't care. He couldn't accept so many people knowing about it and just going along, but if he was proven wrong then fair enough.

Severus nor Harry spoke as they walked along the corridors, it was only once they were in a hallway that did not have portraits that Severus turned to face the teenager casting his 'Muffliato' just to be on the safe side. "Be careful," he stated once more, he had seen the spells Albus had admittedly very subtly flung at Harry, he doubted anyone else noticed, but he was a Slytherin and a spy, he noticed everything. The knowledge that Harry was safe from them because of his ring had been the only thing stopping him from worrying overly much. He would deny that until his dying breath though. Harry was being cautious though, for that he was grateful, he had left as soon as he had been commanded to by Dumbledore, he would think his spells had attached for the moment. Who knows how long it would last, and when Dumbledore tried again. He knew Dumbledore had a penchant for this sort of thing, but he hadn't realized he was putting them on Harry, but given how powerful he was, they wouldn't have lasted too long, how had he avoided them in the past?

"So that's the order?" Harry asked dryly, scoffing a little.

"Indeed," Severus replied, finding it distinctively odd to hear Harry's voice through Potter's mask. "Do not underestimate them, they might be useless politically, but magically they are powerful, they wouldn't be there if they didn't serve a purpose." he added before walking, the bubble surrounding them continued with them. "Tell me, has he put spells on you in the past?" he didn't have to worry about anyone understanding what they were saying. Anyone eavesdropping would hear constant buzzing and their mouths were blurred preventing any lip reading, he wasn't a fool.

"Of course he has," Harry replied shrugging his shoulders, "I've always been sensitive to magic so I knew what he was doing, I made to sure remove them when I figured out what was going on but it's only been two or three times to get me to investigate the mystery surrounding the stone, another to find out who the heir of Slytherin was…but I think my own curiosity overrode that, being curious and acting though are two different things and I wouldn't have done anything but it would have looked suspicious." Doge hadn't been there…had Voldemort already captured him or was it something they'd do together? The thought of it actually excited him immensely; he had all those lovely spells and potions he so desperately wanted to try. Now he wanted the Dursley's to suffer completely, but Doge he didn't care if the old man died after one round…just as long as it was painful. The Dursley's though he was determined would suffer for years before he let them out of their misery; after all they'd done to him it was the least they deserved.

Harry groaned suddenly as they stood outside the common room, he didn't know the password for the common room either! Grumbling inwardly, he pounded on the portrait door, getting the attention of the Gryffindors so he wasn't standing out here waiting on someone coming out or less likely coming in.

"Remember what I said, I better hear of your improvements in class." Severus warned him quickly removing the spell, and added "Oh and Potter? Ten points from Gryffindor for your cheek." instead of getting furious, Harry's lips just twitched, his eyes rolled as if he honestly didn't care about Gryffindor…Severus not waiting around for any students to see him, instead he turned on his heel and began to march away, he did have his newest set of Slytherin's to welcome it was true.

I'm definitely more satisfied with this edited version of the chapter :)

If you're having trouble reviewing and it's telling you that you have reviewed - it's not FF's fault, it's true, you will have reviewed before, I edited the story and made the chapters longer and an easier read it was far too choppy. Now it was up to over 20 chapters back then, but i compacted it into maybe 13 chapters instead of the 20 i had before...so it might be a while before some of you can review :) Just to let you know if you're concerned as to why you can't review :)