Embracing His True Self
Chapter 20
Harry was inwardly cursing Voldemort five ways to Sunday, it was his fault they were forced to endure the worst kind of wizard or witch in the magical world when it came to their Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers. Despite the Ministry sending her, it wouldn't have been possible if Voldemort hadn't cursed the damn position anyway, and stopped any half sane person from wanting the title as DADA professor. The room was just horrendous, pink and gaudy, he would have rather had Quirrell's setting than this, and the smell of garlic had been overwhelming so that was saying something. The damn book Umbridge had picked for them to read was tedious, it was actually the first time magic hadn't been exciting to him, he wondered idly if he would get away with transfiguring her into a toad, nobody needed to know after all.
"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" Umbridge asked, causing Harry to look up, he saw the class all staring at Hermione rather than read the book, which he couldn't fault, it wasn't like Hermione to disobey a teacher he thought darkly. Or worse not to read a book that was planted in front of her. He silently shook his head, they were playing right into her hands, he was expected to as well, but he wasn't going to, he was through playing the 'golden boy'.
"Not about the chapter, no," Hermione said, finally lowering her hand which had been waving in the air - goodness knows how long.
"Well, we're reading just now," Umbridge said, "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."
"I've got a query about your course aims," Hermione informed her.
"And your name is?" Umbridge then asked, her face a mask of feigned politeness.
"Hermione Granger," Hermione replied.
"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," Umbridge said. Harry was impressed how her voice didn't reveal the sarcasm behind her words, instead it was just sugary and sweet, and quite disgusting really.
"Well I don't," Hermione said bluntly, "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells,"
So if it's about her school work she would stand up to a professor and let them know she wasn't happy. When it came to him? Apparently she and Dumbledore knew better. Harry wanted to feel anger, but really all he felt was sadness, four years of friendship, and school was still the most important thing to her, never him. Fuck her, he thought bitterly, if he'd had any notion of being friends with them again, this had just well and truly wiped the slate clean. If she wanted to go ahead and question a Ministry official and a teacher about her work, but not question Dumbledore on him then she deserved whatever came her way, screw it.
Ron's cry of not using magic brought him out of his dark angry thoughts.
"Mr?" Umbridge asked, her face never changing as she dealt with the angry class.
"Weasley," Ron stated sharply.
Harry noticed Umbridge watching him with her beady eyes for a second before calling on Hermione again.
"Yes, Miss Granger, you wanted to ask something else?" Umbridge was clearly getting a little exasperated.
"Yes, surely the whole point of Defence Against the Dark Art is to practise defensive spells?" Hermione said in that usual haughty I know better than you tone.
"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" Umbridge asked, the only sign of her annoyance was her eyes narrowing further, her annoyingly sugary voice still present.
"No but-" Hermione continued to argue.
"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new programme of study. You will be learning about defensive sells in a secure, risk-free way." Umbridge replied.
"But we need to learn for our OWLS!" Hermione protested. "We can't do that if the first time we use the spells are during our practical exams!" the others all cried out their agreements, they couldn't believe they weren't going to be learning any spells all year.
"I do not wish to criticise the way things have been run in this school, but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention extremely dangerous half-breeds." Umbridge informed them. "And it is to my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you he actually performed them on you. It's quite obvious you've been scared into thinking you need to know how to defend yourself." she chided them.
"Professor Lupin was the best we ever had!" Dean cried out in defence of his favourite professor.
"Your hand is not up, Mr Thomas!" Umbridge sang nastily. "As I was saying it's quite obvious you've been introduced to spells beyond your age group and potentially lethal. In my class you will now learn in a safe risk free environment."
Harry had to actually admit Umbridge did have a point, each teacher had gotten steadily worse than the last. It was just a damn shame they'd only interfered when they wanted something, he presumed they wanted something…unless it was to keep an eye on him. He wouldn't put anything past anyone these days. He was aware of everyone glancing at him intermittedly every so often, as if they were expecting him to defend them all. Ron's was more indignant and Hermione's was just confused.
"And your name is?" Umbridge asked, when she noticed yet another hand up.
"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL? Aren't we supposed to show tat we can actually do the counter-curses and things?" Parvati asked.
"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," Umbridge waved away the girls concern as if it was nothing.
"Without ever practising them beforehand?" Parvati said incredulously, "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"
"I repeat as long as you've studied the theory hard enough there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to perform the spells." Umbridge stated.
"Harry why aren't you saying anything!" Ron whispered to Harry, annoyance and irritation showing on his face, having noticed that Harry was the only one remaining silent out of them all, it wasn't hard to notice since Harry had sat next to him, not out of choice, but due to necessity since there had been no other seat available.
"You have something you wish to say, Mr. Potter?" Umbridge asked, daring him to say anything.
"No, professor, I don't." Harry stated calmly, much like Umbridge wearing a mask, but his was completely blank.
"Harry!" Ron hissed, his face going bright red.
"I assume you are responsible for this display, Mr. Potter? Detention tonight, with me for encouraging this nasty behaviour." Umbridge said smiling nastily.
Harry merely blinked at her, as soon as Umbridge had turned away strutting like a peacock, Harry glared coldly at Ron, then gritting his teeth in fury. The teen next to him cringed and looked away abruptly, his red face paling as anger drained from him replaced with worry, Harry had never looked at him like that before and quite frankly Ron was intimidated by it.
"Now read the rest of the chapter or you will all join Mr. Potter in detention tonight," Umbridge said as she sat back down in her seat, obviously through playing any games with the others.
Harry spent the rest of the class seething inwardly, why had he decided to come back to Hogwarts again? Hogwarts had been his home, the one place where he could use magic, not be abused and he'd loved it even when his life was endangered, truthfully though, being with his relatives had been a danger onto itself, if he hadn't had as much magic as he did, he would have probably killed him before he was eleven. Who would have thought he'd miss Voldemort's manor?
The class seemed to last forever, it was quite honestly the most tedious class he'd ever endured, he'd have preferred another two hours of Binns than have another DADA class again. So when the bell rang, Harry quickly put his book in his bag, ready to leave as quickly as humanly possible.
"I will see you at five o'clock for your detention, Mr. Potter," Umbridge sang as soon as the bell stopped, Harry nodded curtly, before turning around and forcing himself to walk slowly out of the door, he would not let the bitch know she was getting to him. Knowing if he sat anywhere near Ron he'd be liable to lose his temper, he decided to make his way up to the common room while everyone went down to dinner. He would get his homework for Potions done, then go for his bloody detention with Umbridge he thought, muttering the password to get into the common room and slumping down in one of the seats, and taking out a roll of parchment and beginning to do 'the properties of moonstone and its uses' and he began to scribble away, having no trouble doing the amount that Professor Snape required of him.
"Well? Sit down," Umbridge told him, gesturing with her short stubby fingers in the direction of a seat.
"You are going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Potter," Umbridge said, watching him dig into his bag she added, "Not with your own, but a special one of mine."
Harry stiffened at the tone in her voice, it was like the ones Petunia used when she wanted something from someone she absolutely hated, or rather when she actually got the thing she wanted most. She was up to something, he stared up enquiringly, his head cocked to the side just so.
"I want you to write the lines, I must not cause chaos," she informed him.
"I had nothing to do with what happened," Harry replied, his tone calm revealing none of the irritation showing.
"Perhaps I must not tell lies would be more appropriate," Umbridge said, eyes gleaming.
"How many times?" Harry queried, mentally chanting 'don't let her get to you' a hundred times in his mind.
"As many times as it takes for the message to sink in," Umbridge stated.
"You haven't given me any ink," Harry stated blankly.
"Oh, you won't need any ink," Umbridge tittered.
Harry dismissed her and began to write, stifling any signs of surprise with ease, as a sharp pain throbbed in his hand. What on earth was that? It was writing it out with his blood! He had never heard of such a thing, wait…he had, but those were only for like the most severe of contracts, but that had been way back in the day. Was it even the same thing? What had they been called again? He continued to write, enduring the pain, as he thought on it. He couldn't remember what they were called, but even he couldn't keep his attention from wandering to his throbbing hand, it was getting more painful as he continued to write the lines, so much so he was actually having a great deal of difficulty masking it. He sneered at himself, he had damn well endured a lot worse than this in his time, he was not going to let her get the better of him.
A sudden sharp rap at the door actually had Umbridge looking nervous, as she stood up and walked towards the door, opening it and refusing to allow whoever it was entrance into her class.
"How can I help you?" Umbridge asked in her sugary tone.
"I believe you have Mr. Potter in detention?" Severus stated sharply, his tone filled with aggravation and annoyance, nothing showed that he had actually left Hogwarts through the Floo network and returned, hastily making his way here.
"I do," Umbridge replied.
"Did Potter not tell you he has detention with me for a week? Every single day." Severus informed her smoothly. "Since I gave him detention first, the boy serves them with me. Potter get out here this instant." his voice angry and booking no disobedience.
Harry didn't hesitate, he grabbed his bag and hastily made his way over, looking down at the floor, making a show of reluctance. "Excuse me professor," he said, before sliding out of the room when she had no choice but to move aside. It was obvious she was stunned by what was happening and had absolutely nothing she could say in retaliation to ensure Harry wasn't subjected to her detention.
"Follow me, Potter," Severus snapped, before striding away, Harry followed him, slightly confused, he knew Severus hadn't given him detention so why was he even here? Why had he given him a weeks detention? He was obvious missing something…it should have been staring him in the face but for some reason…he couldn't grasp it.
With Severus walking so swiftly it didn't take much time at all to get from the Defence classroom and down the potions labs. Harry held his tongue until the classroom door slammed shut, and he felt wards being put up, strong Wandless non-verbal wards, but that didn't surprise him, Severus was more powerful than he let on, or rather more powerful than people tended to realize despite the obvious staring them in face.
"Are you injured?" Severus asked, his tone changing like the weather.
"How did you know?" Harry asked suspiciously, annoyance and exasperation seeping into his voice.
"The Dark Lord," Severus informed him without pause, "I do not like repeating myself,"
Harry grumbled inwardly, of course, as if Voldemort would let anything happen to his precious Horcrux he thought disingenuously. He knew the wizard cared a little about how he felt, otherwise he wouldn't have trained him, wouldn't have let him out of that damn cell, it would have been as easy to keep him safe by imprisoning him which he had not done. He shoved his hand out, palm down, showing the red irritated blood seeping sores.
Harry hissed, "Easy," it was extremely sensitive to pain right now.
Severus gritted his teeth as he handled Harry's hand delicately, "How did this happen?" already suspecting, but suspecting wasn't knowing.
"A quill," Harry replied, blinking when Severus dropped his hand and he headed for his potions cupboard, coming out with a few things, before pouring a yellow liquid he knew to be Murtlap Essence into a bowl. "Some sort of blood quill."
"Sit down," Severus stated, placing the bowl in front of him, "Make sure the wound is completely submerged, it will help heal and soothe the wound." Harry did as he was told without a complaint, slightly bemused that Voldemort would get all worried over him, especially considering he was bound to have felt it was a wound on his hand of all things. His stomach growled hungrily, making Harry realize just how bad an idea it was to miss a meal these days, his body definitely didn't like it.
"Did you eat anything at dinner?" Severus asked suspiciously.
"No, I didn't attend," Harry confessed, he'd been too pissed off at Ronald Weasley for getting him that detention stupid idiot that he was.
"Stupid fool," Severus stated sharply, shaking his head, before he once again left the room for a few minutes, he returned with a tray of food, giving him a light glare, telling him without words that he had better eat it all.
Harry scoffed the food down, the sandwiches and the crisps, only then did his stomach stop growling in demand for food. He wasn't going to endure this all year, or until whenever Dumbledore decided to get rid of her, or the Ministry stopped their games. "Is there a way to take your OWLS early?"
Severus let out a small smirk, having an idea what was going on in that mind of Harry's without needing to be in it. He had known it would go down this way, although a small part of him was relieved, Harry would go back to the Dark Lord before the year was out, he was absolutely positive on that front. He had known the risk by suggesting it, if Harry did not, there was a chance his life may be forfeit when his spying days were over. "Yes, it's a simple matter of an instructor coming to Hogwarts and watching over you as you take your exams. Or wherever it is that you are. And I doubt very much Fudge or anyone of importance cares about the exams or who takes them." Severus stated, as he finally took a seat behind his desk.
"Is there any way I can take them? I mean now," Harry questioned, hiding his hope. "Without anyone knowing until I tell them."
"I shall inform the Dark Lord," Severus replied, knowing that his Lord would be able to help Harry pull it off, and would probably encourage it. He would need to leave Hogwarts tonight to return to the Headquarters to report, it had been demanded of him, so he would bring it up then. Given how possessive of late the Dark Lord was of Harry, he summarised Umbridge might not even last the year, although considering who she was, perhaps she was safe for the time being, the Dark Lord didn't want to draw any attention to himself after all.
Harry nodded knowing it was the best he would get tonight.
"I'm assuming being back at Hogwarts isn't all you hoped it would be?" Severus said, once again standing up, picking up the roll of bandage and the cotton square gauze. Gestured for Harry to remove his hand, which he did, only then did Severus dip the cotton into the liquid giving it a squeeze to let some of it drip out. Nodding in satisfaction, he pressed the gauze on top of the wound, before wrapping the bandage around his hand tightly, but not too tightly, he didn't want to stop the blood pumping around his hand after all. "You'll need to remove it tomorrow morning, the smell will start to ripen."
"Alright," Harry nodded in agreement, "Thanks," he murmured as he claimed his hand back, he no longer felt the pain at all. He still wasn't used to people taking care of him.
"During this weeks detention you and I will be duelling, brewing potions, and I'm sure you can come up for a reason why you would get more detentions." he said pointedly, it was the only thing that would stop Umbridge…for now, she wouldn't be deterred for long, perhaps it would be long enough for him to take his OWLS.
"Really? Awesome!" Harry grinned, his green eyes glimmering darkly, showing the real Harry for a brief moment.
"Return straight to your dorm, get some rest," Severus stated, flicking a single finger and the wards came crashing down, another flick the door opened for him.
"Yes, Sir," Harry murmured subdued, grabbing his bag with his uninjured hand, he swung it over his back and threw Severus a grin before sliding out, his face already morphing into annoyance, after all everyone would expect him to be annoyed at having detention with Severus.
Severus stood at the door for a few moments, before he sighed, his spying duties had become indefinitely more complicated.
There we go! another chapter for you all! how long will Harry last before he gives up and heads back to Voldemort's manor? will anyone realise he's there? What will happen when they do? Will they launch an attack to get him back? Or will they be unable to find him as they slowly lose the war? Will Harry join Voldemort and actually be marked or will Voldemort decide against marking him so soon? Will he decide to do it later before their relationship starts? or will harry just receive a different mark from the others? or will he be the Voldemort's consort of sorts...helping Voldemort lead? R&R please