Embracing His True Self
Chapter 27
The weekend went far too quickly for Harry's tastes; he'd played chess with Neville and actually got to know him better, Luna as well actually. Although he did worry about that, Ginny and Hermione had taken to glaring at Luna hatefully, Ginny more obvious about it and Hermione just had that irritated 'I've been replaced' look, out of them both he'd say that Ginny could be the bigger problem. Although to be honest he didn't understand why Ginny would be threatened by Luna and Neville, it wasn't as though he and Ginny had been friends before he decided enough was enough with Hermione and Ron. Merlin he actually missed the uncomplicated life he'd had while at Voldemort's base.
"Harry you've got an owl!" Neville called into the communal bathroom, unsurprisingly not bringing the letter with him, since you never really knew how owls would react to someone other than the intended recipient trying to remove the missive. Some owls had been trained to attack interlopers.
"I'll be out the now," Harry called back, a few moments later he shut off the shower and stepped out of the cubical with a towel wrapped around his body, putting on the bath robe before proceeding forward. "I'll wait in the common room for you," he added closing the door behind him to give Neville some privacy, like him, Neville preferred not to get changed in front of the others he'd always had a self conscious problem.
Absently wrapping his robe around his waist he wandered back into the common room, unsurprisingly Ron was still snoring away, Dean and Seamus were already gone down to breakfast. His window he observed had been opened, probably Neville trying to see who it was from. Harry undid the tie around the owls leg, claiming the letter giving it a few strokes before it hooted loudly and took off into the sky, Harry watched the majestic creature take off, they were beautiful, none more so than his own owl but he might be just slightly biased.
Harry recognized the writing immediately, sighing softly, rolling his eyes he sat down on his bed and opened the letter. Wondering what Sirius wanted now, he'd made his feelings pretty damn clear. Which irritated the hell out of him, why the hell would Sirius want to remain in Dumbledore's sphere of influence when he knew what the old fool had done? He didn't know if he would ever understand Sirius…but as he read the missive a bark of incredulous laughter left his throat, well that was unexpected to say the least.
Sirius had removed the Fidelius Charm on Grimmauld place, the one in which Dumbledore controlled, and Remus had cast the spell for Sirius to be the Secret Keeper of the new spell, which kept the place secure. Not that they were living there, they were using it as a decoy, instead Sirius had withdrew money from Gringotts and bought a place in the Muggle world using a fake name, magically procuring the documents they'd need the Muggle none the wiser that they were fake credentials. Sirius begged Harry for another chance, insisting that he truly only had Harry's interests at heart. Adding that if he wanted to be neutral in the war then he would support him. Harry meant more to him than anything else, and to please just answer him over the mirror or a letter. That he didn't want to lose Harry in his life that he'd been all he thought about all those years in Azkaban.
"Alright," Harry sighed in exasperation, putting the letter on the bed he quickly got dressed in his school uniform. Buttoning his shirt, cursing when he got to the top and realized he'd missed one somewhere. Grumbling under his breath, he more carefully undid and redone them, only once he was done did he open his drawer and remove the mirror, which he'd forgotten about, and it had been silenced as well hence he'd had no idea how many times Sirius had called.
"Sirius?" Harry called into the mirror after casting a silencing spell around his bed to prevent Ron from overhearing anything.
Slowly the blue shimmer gave way to a brightly lit room, so different from Grimmauld Place that it was jarring to see actually. Sirius blearily stared into the mirror obviously having been asleep when the mirror went off. More importantly, there was a lump in the bed alongside him, he'd bet his fortune it was Remus. Sirius' eyes widened and he threw a look over his shoulder before hastily vacating the bed and making his way out of the bedroom, his face flushed red.
Harry just smirked at him causing him to flush further; honestly he was acting like a bloody teenager caught by their mom or dad…at least to his imagination since such a thing would never be a reality for him. He had come to terms with his loss a long time ago, if it could really be called a loss since Harry had never known them. Perhaps that's what made his decision not to participate in the war at all. "What age are you again, Siri?" he asked him amused.
"Funny," Sirius grumbled as he sat down in what was obviously the kitchen, which was done in tasteful blue with silver appliances.
"It is to me," Harry grinned, "Sirius…promise me that you cut off access to Grimmauld Place because it was what you wanted and not because of me. To either make me happy or because I told you I wasn't going to follow Dumbledore?"
"You know I hate Grimmauld Place, Harry," Sirius answered grimly, "It was the safest place for me while I was on the run, I won't be on the run for much longer, and after my pardon I'll officially be a free man. Remus talked me out of burning Grimmauld Place to the ground…so it will just remain under the Fidelius Charm to stop any of my relatives from gaining access to anything in the townhouse."
"Also talked you into something else," Harry said pointedly, oh, it was quite fun winding Sirius up, he was so easy to embarrass honestly.
"Er…are you alright with that?" Sirius asked, moving his arms a little cramping up with keeping the mirror eye level.
"What, why would you think I'd have a problem?" Harry asked giving Sirius a penetrating look, as if trying to gauge what the hell he was thinking.
"Well…you did grow up with the Dursley's and they aren't very tolerant," Sirius grimaced just discussing the disgusting fuckers. He'd begged Dumbledore to let Harry come to Grimmauld Place after Voldemort returned and the school ended. He was repeatedly denied, being told that the wards were too important and they could save Harry's life. How could he argue with something like that? He had, for a little, which resulted in basic blackmail, Dumbledore promised to let Harry come after a few weeks ONLY if he didn't write to him since Voldemort knew about the Black residences he could be leading the evil wizard right to Harry's door.
"That would be another reason for them to hate me then," Harry said dryly, wondering if Sirius would get it.
"You're…" Sirius gaped, "But…Hermione…Ginny," he stuttered out.
"What about them?" Harry asked blinking in confusion. "Can't a guy be friends with girls without fancying them?"
"Uh, I just thought…never mind, it's not important," Sirius said shaking his head, "You are aware though that it isn't just friendship that Ginny wants from you?"
Harry screwed up his face, "I don't have an Oedipus complex thank you very much!" Harry rasped out shuddering violently at the thought.
"Oedupeus what?" Sirius muttered his brow furrowed.
"She looks like my mother, Sirius, do the math," Harry said rolling his eyes heavenward; honestly, the magical world was too behind compared to the Muggle world.
"Oh, OH!" Sirius grimaced a heaving shudder leaving him as well, "That's just disgusting!"
"And she is very much the wrong gender," Harry informed Sirius, nobody else knew this about him, he kept it a closely guarded secret, much like he did with all his other secrets. He did ponder on the thought that Sirius didn't tell him because he was afraid of his reaction…sounded stupid to him but Sirius had probably been mentally around nineteen years old still before the potion. Then again with him being the oldest male heir, they probably expected Sirius to marry and have an heir, being gay was probably unacceptable. "Did any of your family know?"
Sirius scoffed, "No, they would have disowned me completely if they'd known, instead of just striking me off the family tapestry and saying I was 'disowned' without legally and financially cutting me out, if they had I wouldn't have the Black vaults." Sirius admitted ruefully.
"Because they needed you to have the next Black heir?" Harry summarized.
Sirius narrowed his eyes on Harry speculatively, "Did you take the sex education class last year, Harry?"
"There's a Sex Ed class? Um, no, and speaking of class I'll need to go very soon or I'll end up missing breakfast." Harry said bemused.
"Maybe they cancelled it with the tournament on, either that or it was held while you were in the hospital wing," Sirius said thoughtfully, "Wizards can get pregnant, nine times of out ten it's potion induced, its very difficult for it to happen naturally, by very difficult I mean next to impossible, you have to be a natural carrier, there's never been a documented one since the founders time."
"So why would your family be against it?" Harry asked perplexed.
"Well there's a belief that a child born from a male carrier leads to the child being weaker magically," Sirius informed him, "But really they didn't like much of anything, and were strictly traditionalists."
"Prejudice then," Harry simplified it.
"Pretty much," Sirius nodded grimly in agreement.
"Dumbledore called me up to his office," Harry said, catching movement out of the corner of his eyes, he nodded to Neville before refocusing on Sirius. "He suggested that I could stay with you during the winter holidays, trying to get back in my good books after stealing from my vaults and what he did to you. He tried to tell me that he signed as a signatory on their wills without looking at it because he and I quote 'trusted them' he'll probably either try to get to Grimmauld Place to see you and if he can't then he'll write to you with the same nonsense."
Sirius laughed, "If he does he'll be spat out in his own office."
Harry laughed as well at the image that presented.
"Wait, did you say steal? What did he take from your vaults?" Sirius asked perplexed.
"The Potter Grimoire, my invisibility cloak which he insisted my father gave him before he died when I was in my first year he returned it, and a lot of other books and items, no money, just things probably worth a lot of it." Harry explained, seeing Sirius' eyes darkening, "I got it all back, the goblins did it for me."
"Good," Sirius said grimly, Grimoire's were extremely private, handed down from parent to child, decades upon decades of information packed into them from potions they'd created, hexes, charms and even notes and letters for the descendants. He wasn't sure whether James had been able to write anything in it, but if he had then Harry should be the first to see it, then again if it was like all other pureblood started Grimoire's it will be spelled to prevent anyone other than those of their own blood from glimpsing the wonder in its pages. He had long suspected that Lily had gotten some sort of ritual from it that saved Harry's life, but it was guesswork, who knew what really happened that night?
"I have to go, Sirius, I'll write to you after Classes," Harry explained, barely waiting for Sirius to reply before he muttered "Deactivate," and the mirror went blank, Harry then shoved it in the still silenced drawer and hissed in Parseltongue keeping the mirror secure.
Removing the silencing spell, "Sorry, I got sidetracked," he informed Neville without being sheepish or actually sorry, merely giving him the cutesy.
"It's alright, ready to go then?" Neville said, having stayed and waited for Harry to finish his conversation which he couldn't hear and had no desire to even if he was a little curious to know who he was talking to.
"Yes," Harry said, grabbing the letter from Sirius, he shoved it in his bag as he picked it up, ready to face the day whatever it would bring. Which included bloody Umbridge today, since they had Defence. "Let's get going then," and with that both boys headed down the circular staircase. Not feeling the need to talk, quite content with the silence.
Harry shoved open the portrait door and both of them climbed out, it closed automatically behind them. "So, have you even asked Luna out?" he asked Neville, as they descended the stairs, nobody was around since the Gryffindors bar Ron was already at breakfast. Ron last he checked was still sleeping.
Neville flushed red, staring at the stairs as they went down them, shaking his head negatively, no he hadn't got up the guts to tell her how he felt.
"Neville, you should tell her, I mean come on, what are you waiting for? What's the worst that could happen?" Harry stated, "Life is too short, both of us know that better than most." his eyes glimmering sadly, their own parents had died or may as well have at the age of twenty-one. Alice and Frank, Neville's parents had been just a few years older, twenty-two or twenty-three. Luna he had learned had lost her mother when she was just a little girl, nine years old.
"I don't want to spoil our friendship if she doesn't feel the same," Neville murmured embarrassedly.
Harry didn't laugh like Neville obviously expected him to, "I can understand that, but Neville, trust me, she likes you…she will not say no, she's waiting on you making the first move because she thinks the same as you are right now." and he knew that for a fact, Luna was a very refreshing person to meet, she honestly couldn't care less about the whole Boy-Who-Lived thing, her parents hadn't mentioned him, the only time Luna had heard of him is through the damn history books.
"You think so?" Neville said relaxing a little unconsciously, stepping off the last marble step and turning towards the large doors of the Great Hall, he could hear the sound of the rest of his peers talking, laughing and eating but it didn't drown out what Harry told him.
"I know so," Harry said firmly, he was doing everything he could to give Neville a backbone, it would take a long time to undo all the damage his damn family had done. He hoped that when all was said and done that Neville could understand his decision and not hate him for it. He knew it was a futile hope, especially after what the Death Eaters had done to his parents.
"Thanks, Harry," Neville said, he'd never really had a friend like him before, sure all his room mates spoke to him but that wasn't a friend and he was beginning to realise that. Ron and Hermione were stupid for letting anything get in-between their friendship with Harry, he was a true friend and Neville was ever so grateful to him for it. He'd never seen or heard of anyone stepping up to his Gran, but Harry had, and it resulted in him getting a wand that actually worked! He and Harry had practiced spells for hours after he got it, and it was so much easier for him, he'd been right, all he'd needed was a wand suited to him.
"It's alright," Harry shrugged; he was just doing what anyone else would do for a friend, that didn't require thanks. Plus if he left he wanted to know that Neville would be okay. Luna would make sure of that, she was a lot stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Walking half way down the bench, Harry and Neville sat down and hastily began to fill their plates, barely pausing before they began to eat.
"I don't know if I can endure any more of her classes," Seamus groaned, noticing the pink clad woman at the Head table. "Can't someone just kill her already?"
"How much is it worth?" Harry said, glancing at Seamus who paused for a moment before he burst out laughing, those in the vicinity that heard as well, except Neville, began to laugh. As if their hero would ever hurt anyone, let alone a Ministry worker, even if she was disliked by the majority of the students at Hogwarts.
"I didn't think anything could be more boring than Binn's class…she's proved us all wrong." Dean scowled into his porridge.
Neville watched Harry closely from the corner of his eye, he had a feeling that Harry hadn't been kidding around. Surely he had to be? Nobody really wanted to see Umbridge murdered, despite the fact she was a crappy teacher that drove them all crazy. Shaking off his thoughts he made a noncommittal agreement that the class was boring as he speared the sausage on his fork, dipping it in yolk before eating it.
As one everyone glanced up as the flapping of hundreds of owls was heard descending upon the now quiet hall, some people were hastily moving their food when the spotted their owl or perhaps even their friends ones so their food wasn't ruined. The owls either dropped their burdens or had to land so the letters or shrunk parcels could be removed - like Harry's letters - before the owls took off again.
Harry glanced at the front of the three letters he'd received; he didn't need to open them to know who they were from. Barty, Voldemort and one from Gringotts, probably a normal statement he'd get every month now or word from his account manager. He kept the Gringotts letter on top just to be on the safe side before sliding them into his pocket after glancing at the time. The bell was going to ring any minute now so he wanted to at least eat as much of his breakfast as he could. He just swallowed a piece of toast when he glanced to the side hearing Parvati speaking.
"Why isn't Dumbledore doing anything?" Parvati complained, in a rare move joining in the boys conversations.
"Because he can't," Hermione butted in, as always rushing to defend the teachers from her ignorant peers. "Didn't you hear what she said at the beginning of term? The Ministry is interfering at Hogwarts! The Ministry." she repeated it as if it was necessary.
Harry cocked his head to the side, "Have any of you thought about writing home? Telling your parents exactly what's going on at Hogwarts? That your teacher is using a dark illegal blood quill? And how you're going to be completely unprepared and way over your head during both your practical and written DADA OWLS exam? Send them a copy of the work you've done so far, proof of what is going on."
Silence met his question, none of them had thought about writing home about what was happening.
Harry rolled his eyes, of course they hadn't thought of it. It was going to be an extremely long day, he realized noticing that Umbridge wasn't wearing the broach; she'd either figured it out or wasn't wearing it today.
"Luna suggested you get interviewed for the Quibbler," Neville whispered quietly, wiping his mouth with his cloth napkin before putting it on the table since he was finished with his breakfast. Just in time too as the bell went, he guessed he'd have to wait and see what Harry thought of getting an interview with Luna's dad.
Harry had no idea just how long a day it was going to be, between Umbridge finding a reason to give him detention, serving it way until after curfew, leaving for Severus' room to sit one of his OWL exams, by the time he returned to his Dorm it was well past midnight and everyone was asleep, he didn't even take off his uniform, he rolled under his covers and fell into a deep sleep without even reading the letters that had come at breakfast for him.
Hmm, I wonder if I could realistically make Neville and Harry stay friends even when his decision becomes common knowledge... perhaps Harry creating a potion to help the Longbottoms would seal the deal and give Neville the strength he doesn't know he has to begin living his life and with what happened perhaps Alice and Frank will refuse to even consider rejoining the war effort after getting 'better' concentrating on their family instead like they should have done? what do you think? and no this isn't going to be the Death Eaters are suddenly good but Tom is sane enough to prevent some of the more radical ideas they might have... R&R please!