Embracing His True Self
Chapter 29
Harry woke with a shout, shooting up in bed, panting but not in fear but rather exertion, as he came to himself his face flushed redder than a tomato, groaning in complete embarrassment and disbelief. Grimacing, Harry flicked out his wand and cleaned himself up, of sweat and the stick residue of cum again. His mind reeling over the fact he'd just had a wet dream over Tom Marvolo Riddle, otherwise known as Voldemort yet again. Bloody hell, he thought, the dreams were getting more and more erotic to say the least, and he'd thoroughly enjoyed every second of the dreams especially this one…what did it mean for him? He could still feel the phantom feelings of the silky rope biting into his wrists, and just thinking about it elicited another reaction from him, desire. His only experience at being bound was never good to say the least, and it was always Voldemort or on Voldemort's behest ironically enough. From his first year with Quirrell to being bound in the graveyard.
There was no denying that Voldemort was attractive as he had been as a teenager, in reality he now looked like barely over twenty years old. He was powerful, smart, determined, and cunning; all things Harry valued and displayed himself. Shaking off those ridiculous thoughts, it would never happen. His mind however, didn't seem to agree as pictures of his dream flashed through his mind, causing him to shiver once more, licking his dry lips he flicked his wand requesting the time.
It was nearly time to get up, he realized, he still felt sweaty, it was best to go and get a shower. Part of him didn't want those dreams to continue, another bigger part desired them to. Who wouldn't? He was hot, no matter whether it would go anywhere or not, which it wouldn't. Why the hell would Voldemort want to be with him? He was a teenager for Merlin's sake, so the dreams would be as far as it went and what dreams they were.
Shivering in cold as he got out of bed, grabbing his shower bag he made a beeline for the bathroom, he contemplated going to the Prefect's bathroom but he nixed the idea he just wanted a quick shower and to get down to breakfast. Severus had warned him against making a move on Umbridge so close to Hedwig being attacked, especially since he was being watched so closely by Dumbledore. Only because Dumbledore hadn't been able to find Sirius, despite the fact he'd been on the front of the newspapers going shopping in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade a few times. Everyone knew he was innocent so of course, everyone had believed he was and were all quite quick to say as such. Hypocritical shits that they were he loathed them all. So Harry for the past few months had bid his time, he knew exactly how he wanted Umbridge to suffer, which unfortunately he couldn't do with both of them on Hogwarts grounds.
Speaking of professors, he'd had to stop himself from laughing at Umbridge when she'd been so thoroughly insulted without even realizing it by both Severus and Professor McGonagall when she sat in on their classes. The broach he'd enchanted continued to do its work, but she was still causing havoc all around the school much to his consternation. Including putting Hagrid on probation, which he'd found out overhearing Granger screeching about it and the unfairness in January, Harry was just glad he wasn't taking the class anymore.
As he stepped under the spray, Harry was unaware that something would happen today to change everything.
Closing his eyes he groaned in relief at the warmth spreading through his bones, warming him completely. The pendant he'd received from Barty at Christmas was safe from the water, it just repelled it and rolled on down. It would stop any minor and most major hexes directed at him some that even his Lordship ring wouldn't detect. He actually missed Barty a great deal, as nice as his friendship with Neville and Luna was…they didn't know the real him Barty did.
Grabbing his shampoo he stepped back and lathed it into his hair, letting it sit for a few moments while he scrubbed the rest of himself with some mint shower gel. Stepping back under he thought of the only other important thing that had happened in the past few months. His owls. He had completed them with ease. He felt as though he'd been the last to learn his scores, Clarence of course, his examiner who made sure he completed everything himself and didn't cheat. Then Voldemort, then Barty then Severus before he'd been able to see them. Twelve Owls, all Outstanding he'd taken every subject and passed with flying colours. Hardly surprising the way he'd been taught by Voldemort, he'd long ago surpassed O.W.L; with some revision he could actually take his N.E.W.T's which he was tempted to do.
He took the results of his tests with him everywhere, despite the fact it could blow up in his face, he didn't care though he was extremely proud of himself. According to Clarence only five people had achieved twelve O.W.L's, and only one had achieved all Outstanding, Tom Riddle (Harry wasn't sure if Clarence even knew if he was talking about Voldemort but considering he hadn't used the Dark Lord's title he was going to say no to that one). The others who'd taken all twelve exams were Barty, Percy Weasley and Bill Weasley.
Wrapping up in a towel, Harry grabbed his shower bag after he finished. The towel had a warming charm it in, so that he didn't get completely cold. Sliding his feet back into his slippers he made his way back to the dorm. He had Defence this morning, now that was going to be fun he thought sarcastically.
"Is that you, Harry?" came Neville's voice from his bed, sounding tired still, he knew it was Harry nobody else got up early, Dean and Seamus got up when they had to but Ron more often than not ended up late if nobody woke him up. Since Harry wasn't doing it anymore, the others had to remember lest they end up with more lost house points.
"Yeah," Harry commented drying himself off and beginning to get dressed.
"You're up earlier than normal," Neville said peeking out from his beds curtains.
"Bad dreams," Harry said sarcastically, but one look at Neville it seemed as if his sarcasm had been lost on the boy. Instead he had a look of understanding on his face. Well, it could be considered a bad dream, a very, very bad dream. Yes, that's what it had been.
"Do you still have those Skiving Snack boxes from the twins?" Neville asked hopefully, as he realized just what kind of day he was going to have. Defence with Umbridge then Potions with Snape although that was just before dinner, the last class of the day.
Harry gave him a knowing amused grin, "Only if you want to end up in the hospital wing, they haven't perfected them yet." speaking of the twins they seemed rather troubled. He wasn't sure if it was Umbridge or something else, but he'd seen them staring looking perplexed and a little sad. When he went over to try and talk to them they disappeared.
"Too bad," he sighed resignedly, as he went to the bottom of his trunk to gather his own shower supplies.
"Least you don't have detention with her," Harry snorted derisively, the evidence was on his bloody hand, even with the potions and the help from Severus he could still see the lines on his hand. She wouldn't dare try anything with Neville, not with the connections his grandmother had…or the fact she was his grandmother! Everyone seemed to be utterly terrified of her, including Neville.
"I'll see you in a bit," Neville said with a sympathetic smile, it wasn't the first time Harry had said that, and probably wouldn't be the last either.
Harry made a noise of agreement, as he piled everything back into his own trunk magically drying his hair before straightening it so it didn't look like a birds nest anymore. He was so bored here at Hogwarts, he didn't dare take any books (well any he'd actually want to read) out of the library, and he hadn't been able to bring any reading material with him…it was mind-numbingly tedious. He often thought of leaving but in the end he didn't. Although if anyone made him want to run for the hills it was Ginny, one minute she was sleeping around with Dean the next she was trying to seduce him. It was like she was dipolar or something.
Shrugging it off, he grabbed his tie and began to do it up, his Gryffindor tie; he thought in distaste, how he often wondered what his life would have been like at Hogwarts had he not fought the sorting hat's decision. It was for the best though; he would have been watched a lot more closely in Slytherin that he knew without a single doubt.
The day went quite fast all things concerned, especially considering he had Umbridge, and the foul woman had found a way to give him 'detention' for yet another imaginary crime. Apparently not falling into her trap and speaking back was 'ignoring' the teacher and her authority. He had icily wondered if he'd end up with Severus or Filch in detention if she couldn't take it oh, the urge to spit two words at her 'Avada Kedavra' was strong, to see the look of shock, horror and surprise written across her face.
Herbology went quite fast and then he'd had lunch with Neville and Luna, all of them just picking up something to eat before leaving the Great Hall. None of them wanted to see the smug look on Umbridge's face as she lorded over her position. It quite frankly turned his stomach and vanished his appetite. Then after lunch it was Transfiguration and then last but no means least, his secret new favourite class Potions, especially since he wasn't learning anything in Defence.
He decided to forgo blowing up any potions today; or rather it was decided for him as he worked on automatic brewing the potion. He was brewing the potion with Neville, and doing it all himself, Neville would just mess it up and he knew it. So the boy let him do it at his own pace quietly relieved. Making it look like he was actually helping whenever Severus was around.
"You coming, Harry?" Neville asked speaking lowly, worry coming off of him in droves; he hated Potions class…or rather was completely terrified of their Potions professor. He had already packed everything up and was just itching to get as far away from Snape as humanly possible now that the bell had rung.
"I'll see you in the lunch hall," Harry said, shoving his thumb in Snape's direction rolling his eyes. Taking his time in packing everything away, doing it with precision through habit. The potion had been expertly brewed, and he intended to take the rest of the batches with him and leave only one.
Neville's eyes widened and he squeaked before he nodded and quickly scampered out of the room throwing his bag over his shoulder with his tail between his legs. Assuming he must have missed Snape giving Harry detention or something, which wouldn't surprise Neville, he sort of shut down in Potions, it's probably why he did so badly.
"Just exactly what was I supposed to have done?" Severus asked dryly, after closing the door with a loud bang and putting up a silencing spell so they weren't overheard.
"How's Hedwig?" Harry asked, he missed her, he'd sent her off to Voldemort's just to keep her safe, which wasn't helping his urge to kill Umbridge, which he would one day, of that he swore.
"I'm sure she's well," Severus stated, he didn't visit the Dark Lord every night, even then he wouldn't see her, he was sure the Dark Lord was taking good care of her though. He wanted Harry on his side, so he would do what was required, Harry wasn't like the rest of the Death Eaters, wasn't easily swayed, and he'd have to have a true reason and desire to join. Harry was dark there was no doubt about it, but just because you were dark it didn't mean you had to join the Dark Lord. Many just practiced their crafts in secret and were content with that. He had hoped that Harry would join; with two of the most powerful wizards in the magical world they could change the world.
"Can I stay here and read a book?" Harry asked, his face showing just how bored he was.
Severus' lips twitched, "Very well," he agreed, moving over to his desk he muttered under his breath and released a secret compartment that even the Dark Lord would have trouble finding. Plucking out the book he held it out taking his seat at the same time. He began to correct the homework the fifth years had just handed in.
It wasn't even fifteen minutes later that they heard screaming.
"What the hell?" Harry muttered staring at the door, his wand already in hand, he noticed that Severus too had his wand out a perturbed look on his face. "It doesn't sound like Umbridge." he added thoughtfully, so it wasn't as if she was having another 'episode' so to speak. Sliding from his seat, he gave Severus back the book, before he exited the Potions classroom, vexed that he couldn't read a damn book without something happening and also a little bit curious.
The noise, he quickly realized was coming from the Entrance Hall, squeezing back the students until he got a clear view of what was going on. He blinked at the sight in front of him; Trelawney was out of her classroom, a rare occurrence by itself. She was utterly drunk, sherry by the look of the bottle, she had two trunks nearby, her belongings? It dawned on him what was happening quite quickly. No doubt Dumbledore had the woman terrified out of her wits that Voldemort or the Death Eaters would kill her if she left Hogwarts…and right now she did look utterly terrified. For once Harry felt a smidgen of pity for the woman.
"No, No! This cannot be happening…it cannot…I refuse to accept it!" somehow despite the fact she'd been drinking she was coherent.
"You didn't realize this was coming?" a girlish voice immediately let him in on the fact it was Umbridge to no surprise. "Incapable though you are of predicting even tomorrow's weather, you must surely have realised that your pitiful performance during my inspections, and lack of any improvement, would make it inevitable that you would be sacked?"
Harry winced as Trelawney began to howl and drawl with tears streaming down her face, screaming at Umbridge that she couldn't sack her that she'd been a teacher here for sixteen years. 'Hogwarts is my home!' yes, pity was what he was feeling at the moment and understanding. For so long Hogwarts had been his home too, for he had known no other, despite all the bag things that had happened here it had still been better than the alternative of being at the Dursley's.
"It was your home," Umbridge said, the glee on her face made Harry grit his teeth in fury, he would see that she was dead before the end of the year, of this he vowed to himself most vehemently. "Until an hour ago, when the Minister for Magic countersigned your Order of Dismissal. Now kindly remove yourself from this hall. You are embarrassing us."
Harry's eyes sharpened when he noticed movement towards the front of the crowd to see McGonagall marching towards Trelawney. He knew McGonagall hated her, called her craft 'a load of tripe' he watched her hand over a tartan handkerchief from her robes and comfort her. He raised an eyebrow at her words, not have to leave Hogwarts? How curious.
"Oh really, Professor McGonagall?" Umbridge asked her voice going serious. "And your authority for that statement is?"
"That would be mine," it was Dumbledore, his voice was unmistakable.
Harry clenched his fists together; even the sight of him was too much to bear these days. The old fool was still looking for the Dursley's and had asked him to write a damn letter telling them that Sirius Black was innocent. Stating it was only a matter of time until they found out as it had been plastered all over the Muggle news. He shook his head; he couldn't lose his composure here. Not now. He observed Umbridge explaining she had the most power within Hogwarts, that Trelawney was sacked because she wasn't performing to standard.
"You are quite right, of course, Professor Umbridge. As High Inquisitor you have every right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to send them away from the castle. I am afraid, that the power to do that still resides with the Headmaster, and it is my wish that Professor Trelawney continue to live at Hogwarts."
Trelawney gave a bitter laugh and proclaimed she'd seek her fortune elsewhere.
"No," Dumbledore stated, "It is my wish that you remain, Sybill."
Harry glanced down at his hand, which had the faint outline of words imprinted on it by this bitch. He was paying the price between the Ministry and Dumbledore who were playing a game that he had no interest in playing. What the hell was he doing here? Dumbledore and McGonagall both knew what Umbridge was doing to everyone, knew it was illegal, yet they made no move to protect the students as they had sworn to do. Looking around at the sea of relieved faces at the sight of Dumbledore he sickeningly felt himself beginning to heave inwardly.
He wasn't going to do anything for them, he realized, he was content to let this go on but for what? And for how long? What was Dumbledore's end game? Why let her get away with it at all? Dumbledore didn't let anything happen he didn't want; then again his power had been reduced significantly in the magical community with the loss of his position in the Wizengamot and the ICW. Was he as helpless as he appeared or was he content to let Umbridge think she was winning while he did what he wanted for his side in the war?
An image of his own bedroom flashed through his minds eye it solidified his decision.
He was leaving.
"Hey, Harry, you alright?" Neville asked, "You coming?" he had seen the entire fiasco but everyone was now returning to dinner now that it was over.
"Yeah," Harry said, he would miss Neville's friendship but that was no reason to stay. Turning around both of them made their way to the Gryffindor bench and claimed their seats. Instead of eating, Harry removed a clean piece of parchment from his bag and began writing. Anyone that tried to pry found themselves looking away courtesy of a well placed spell to stop anyone reading from Harry. It was much like the anti-cheating tests on the O.W.L parchments; in fact that's what had given him the idea.
Once he was done he folded it in half, then proceeded to copy his O.W.L test scores and placed it within and folded both parchments once more. He glanced at Neville and wondered if he should say anything, he should really, but what? He wasn't sure Neville would understand.
Standing up thoughtfully he bent down and whispered to Neville, "I'm sorry, Neville. Look out for a letter tonight." the boy gazed at him wide eyed in confusion.
"Wha…" Neville began, but stopped when Harry tightened his hand on his shoulder, telling him to stop talking without saying anything.
"Remember what I said," Harry informed him, before he marched up to the Head table, the eyes of every student watching him go. Wondering what was going to happen next, until the beginning of the year, Harry had always been easy to anger, always standing up for what he felt was right. So many began to wonder what Harry had up his sleeve now.
"Hem, hem, Mr. Potter go back to your seat," Umbridge demanded, "I would hate to have to give you another detention so soon."
Harry barked out a sardonic laugh, "Hate it would you? You're a sadistic bitch using a blood quill on whoever you want, but you will not use it on me again…not only will I not allow it but it is illegal." he stated loudly, hoping against hope the idiots would understand.
"Detention, Mr. Potter, I will not tolerate lies in my school!" Umbridge shrieked girlishly.
"I'm afraid I won't be attending any detention you give out," Harry stated standing on the platform opposite her, he flung the letter down on the table. "I'm done; I withdraw my attendance from Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry."
"Then by rights I must take your wand," Umbridge said, her eyes gleaming victoriously, her voice even sweater than Harry had ever heard it.
"Mr. Potter, please accompany me to my office," Albus said loudly, standing up, his blue eyes hiding a stern warning.
"If you had looked in the letter you'll find a copy of my O.W.L results," Harry added, his own voice imitating Umbridge's voice, completely ignoring Dumbledore. With a smirk of satisfaction seeing her deflate and then go red in fury, he turned and began to stalk back down the students benches who were all standing up cheering and clapping, stomping their feet and hooting in celebration that someone had managed to get one over the pink toad.
"MR. POTTER!" Dumbledore called out moving after him, fast for his age, but not as fast as Harry, who slid out of the Great Hall doors before Dumbledore could command them to close, if he would have done such a thing in public. "MR. POTTER!" he roared out again, hastily making his way to the doors, by the time he had opened them there was no sign of the boy.
Panic and fear began to consume him as he hastened as quickly as he was able, calming himself somewhat, he must be at his dorm collecting his things. That was until he heard the students calling out about Harry's 'awesome Quidditch move' he was outside on his broomstick. Blinding running down the stairs, breathing harshly by the time he got to the entrance hall…all he could see was a dot on the horizon; Harry was fading rapidly from view.
Harry Potter was gone.
Dumbledore gaped, completely blindsided by this occurrence, he had never expected anything like this. His heart thumping loudly in his ribcage, he turned around, making his way through the thong of students that had appeared for the second time around the Entrance Hall to watch a spectacle. He returned to the Great Hall, making use of the Floo network to get to his office…he had to get the Order alerted to this problem NOW. Damn Black to hell, because of him he wasn't able to use Grimmauld Place, they'd not found a new Secret hideout yet, instead they'd been using The Burrow for now.
He had to get Harry back in Hogwarts, he was too important to the war for him to go off in a fit of teenage rebellion.
For the first time in five years…Harry felt free and he continued to soar to freedom.
I was very tempted to give you all a sneak peak of Harry's dream ;) if you'd like to see them I am more than happy to oblige since they will continue ;) haha the question is are they coming through the horcrux bond? Or are they truly just Harry's? Will Tom pursue Harry? He's by no means a man with morals, when he sees something he wants he takes it :D it certainly would be fun to see Harry deny Voldemort before giving him somewhere down the line :P R&R please!