Embracing His True Self
Had to give this a little edit due to my slip-up Sirius is after all been proven innocent thanks to those eagle eyes who caught my mistake!
Chapter 39
Lord Rabastian Lestrange sat on a leather chair within the confines of his manor, squirrelled away in his office contemplating the events of the last month. The fire was roaring in the fireplace, warming the previously cold room up, casting it in a yellowy orange glow. In his hand was a large tumbler of his favourite year of fire whiskey, also very expensive, given he was drinking it like it was going out of fashion. Ever since he saw the duel with the Dark Lord and Harry Potter…he had watched the boy closely. He wanted to see what made him tick, learn everything he could about him.
The first thing he learned, was it wasn't easy to find unless he wanted to be. The second was that he honestly couldn't get a read of him. He was so closed off whenever he did see him, he'd tried to catch him off guard but that amounted to nothing. He was always hyper vigilantly aware of his surroundings to the point that Rabastian began to worry that there was something wrong with him, some sort of lasting trauma. It would explain his sudden turn to the dark side, he guessed, but he wasn't one hundred percent sure of his thoughts regarding the teenager anymore.
He had yet to ask the Dark Lord, the reason for that was Rabastian wasn't sure, partly he wanted to come to his own conclusions and solve the mystery himself. unveiling the boy would make him seem normal, approachable. He wasn't sure he wanted that at all, even the Dark Lord was a mystery to him and he had known him for decades. Plus, he wasn't sure he'd like the answer, the hypervigilance, the fact he'd barely cried out after having his leg severed, even his own sons would have been sobbing, the youngest generation – minus Harry of course – would have been caterwauling and begging for their parents. Yes, he suspected, he just didn't want confirmation.
Tightening his grip on his glass, the ice cube sloshing inside. He sipped the alcohol, making a sound of contentment at the feel of it burning down his throat. Perhaps he should just ask the Dark Lord, if anyone would know the boy it would be him.
There was one thing he would need to admit though, that he would have been hell of a proud to have raised or taken in Harry Potter as his own. Raised him as a Lestrange, or rather Potter-Lestrange, actually it would have been Lestrange-Potter. As the last Potter heir, Harry wouldn't be able to take on another Pure-blood name without disinheriting himself even if he was officially and blood adopted. Not that he'd really need blood adopted, after observing Harry so long, he noticed a few Lestrange attributes. Oh, there was no denying that his Potter blood ran thick, the longer the boy's hair got, the more of a Lestrange he looked. As he aged, he would continue to change, and he would only admit to himself, he was very curious to know which bloodline he'd take after the most. Definitely not the Malfoy family, that was for certain.
Nobody in their right mind would disinherit themselves, the Potter fortune was said to be one of the biggest fortunes Gringotts had. Right up there with the Black and Malfoy fortunes, maybe even more than them since it had gone untouched for over a decade. The Lestrange's were no slouches, but his son's wife, Bellatrix had surely gotten through it in the few years she'd been free to do as she pleased before Azkaban. As Lord Lestrange he had put a stop to her reckless spending before she squandered his family fortune. She was only able to take a certain amount out each month now.
"Father?" a voice called out, just as the wards shifted allowing his sons entry into the manor.
"I'm in the office," Rabastian called out to his eldest child. They didn't stay here very often, in fact they'd only stayed a handful of times since they got out. Instead choosing to remain at the Dark Lord's manor where it was much safer. Not that it was a danger, due to the fact his sons were in fact 'dead' to the world, buried out in the island after an outbreak along with many other 'Death Eaters' on the same wing. It had been an ingenious move on the Dark Lord's part.
"What's wrong?" Rodolphus asked, a frown on his features as he looked at his father with concern. Usually this office was their fathers 'solitude', a space for him to think if things were going wrong. He had imagined his father sitting here often enough while he was in the Ministry's custody before his sentencing to Azkaban. "What's going on?" remaining standing, as he observed his father, as if he could learn through expression alone. "Did Potter do something to you?" yes, he knew about is father's latest obsession, he might be physically impaired – and perhaps a little mentally – after his stint in Azkaban, but he was far from stupid.
Rabastan merely watched, saying nothing – other than rolling his eyes at his brothers question about Harry – they would have heard about it if Harry had done something like attack whether verbally or magically their father. It would surprise everyone that his father was one of the most respected of the Dark Lord's first Death Eaters. Something that gave him the ire of Lucius Malfoy, but even Malfoy wouldn't risk alienating him. He was curious as to what was on his father's mind himself, but not panic induced.
"I'm fine," their father stated firmly, pouring them both a drink, he didn't want to think on it anymore. In fact, his sons had perfect timing. "How is your training going?" they had been given the complete all clear bill of health, and they had begun to step up their magical training, or rather magical endurance. Training implied they required actual training but both his sons had gone to Hogwarts with more knowledge at eleven than most others achieved in their lifetime. Their mother had been very passionate about their protection and education, it wasn't only the 'Dark Arts' they'd learned either. Although many of the spells they learned while at Hogwarts had been left off the agenda, so that their sons wouldn't get bored.
"Something is obviously bothering you," Rodolphus pointed out as he accepted the magically floating tumbler of whiskey. Now this was something he'd missed, he had followed the healers rules, no alcohol, but the all clear had given him the opportunity to indulge again. Having gone so long without he'd gotten a hell of a buzz after his first drink, even now he still gained it. The more he drank it though the less affect it would have. Finally claiming a seat as he relaxed back still silently demanding answers from his father.
Rabastan followed his example, after plucking the drink from the air.
"You spent more time with H—Potter, what do you think of him?" Rabastian questioned, his tone thoughtful.
Rabastan laughed, a wicked grin on his face, "You're becoming fond of him, aren't you?" he teased his father unable to help himself. "You're not the only one to like him against your initial protests."
His father threw him a curious look, arching an eyebrow.
"I'm pretty sure the same goes for the Dark Lord and Barty," Rabastan said wryly, sipping from the glass, relishing in the warmth that spread through his extremities. Anything that helped him remain warm was alright by him, after so long in the cold damp hell hole that was Azkaban. "Our Lord has changed, I don't know what it is…Greyback actually said that the whole Azkaban thing was Harry's idea."
Rabastian straightened up at that.
"What do you mean his idea?" Rodolphus protested, it was just the sort of brilliance their Lord was capable of.
"I think the Dark Lord would have just broken us out of Azkaban," Rabastan explained pensively, without explaining why he'd say that. They all knew the Dark Lord had become very impatient towards the end of his first reign, insane towards the very end actually. So the thought that their Lord would have just broken them all out wasn't totally implausible.
"How would he know such information?" Rodolphus scoffed, he didn't have much in the way of respect for Greyback, terrified of the werewolf, yes, but he hadn't sworn loyalty to their Lord, which made him untrusted in his book.
He just didn't understand the subtleties that came with being an Alpha werewolf.
Both Rodolphus' father and brother both gave him a deadpanned look, everyone of them was aware of how Greyback would know the information. They were aware that Greyback much like Rabastian was quite close to the Dark Lord. He could have overheard a conversation about it or had the Dark Lord reveal as such. What they all knew though, was that it couldn't be a mere rumour. Greyback would know a rumour from the truth, he was so in tune with his wolf, that he could detect lies through sweat alone. It was quite disconcerting to see him in action actually.
Nobody was comfortable with Greyback so close to them.
Rodolphus scowled, "Alright fine, we have Potter's thanks for not being constantly hunted down by Aurors and maybe being able to live out our lives."
"The question remains why the hell you're so pissed off about him," Rabastan said more amused than anything, because his brothers hatred was illogical. Harry Potter wasn't the enemy, he was on their side. It wasn't as if he could be blamed for the Dark Lord's downfall, after all, he'd been a bloody kid, still in diapers, what happened that night was just down to Lily Potter, an actual Lestrange by blood.
Rodolphus just huffed, turning away, his cheeks going red.
"Oh, hoh! This is priceless, you're jealous!" his brother crowed, stunned by this new realisation. "No, that's not it, you're afraid, why? That Harry will take your place? Become the heir of the Lestrange fortune?"
Rodolphus swallowed thickly, making his brother and father realize they'd hit the nail on the head.
"Fuck," Rabastan muttered, he'd been taunting him into revealing what was wrong, he hadn't expected to be right.
"Why not? He would do any family proud," Rodolphus spat bitterly, "He's good looking, probably could get a betrothed within minutes, even have a kid when I can't even get my own wife to lie with me! What good am I to the Lestrange name?" rage, helplessness and desolation filling him with despair.
"Believe me, if you weren't so clouded by jealousy, you'd know that boy isn't going to marry and produce a couple of offspring with a girl," Rabastan said quietly, just as subdued as his brother. "He's gay, Rod, he could have a couple of kids I suppose but they'll be out of wedlock. Harry wasn't raised with our way of life, he won't marry because it's expected of him, have kids and keep his predilections in the closet." He had nobody to force him into it either.
"Rodolphus, I would never strike you off, you are and will remain my heir, you will gain the Lordship upon my death and control of the Lestrange estate. You are my son, and I would never contemplate what you are suggesting." His father said sadness deep in his eyes, Azkaban had done this, turned his confident son into this doubtful mess. Bellatrix was once again messing with his son's mind, the urge to kill her was strong, yet all he could do was hope she messed up somehow and the Dark Lord killed her. His son deserved someone who loved him.
His biggest regret was always going to be enforcing the contract to make his son marry that bloody woman. This was all his fault, the need to continue his family line, as it had been drilled into him, had made his son deeply unhappy. He and his wife had been so happy, they'd been an arranged marriage too. He'd wrongfully assumed that the same would happen for Bellatrix and Rodolphus.
Rabastan stiffened in determination, he knew what to do, he had to go and see Harry. He was the heir to the Black fortune, since Sirius Black was his godfather and magical guardian…at least he thought so. He'd need to ask, and either way, Harry hopefully could convince Black to help them. It wouldn't be easy, but damn it, he'd do anything to help his brother.
The three remained silent as all of them unwound after that stressful admission. Quietly sipping their drinks as each of their thoughts circled around ways to make it better.
Perhaps his son did not wish to be married to Bellatrix anymore, maybe he could convince him to annul their vows to one another. He doubted it would ever happen, his son had made vows which he took very seriously, till death do them part seriously. Sure Rodolphus was technically declared dead but the vow was magical in nature, and it still bound them together.
Harry however, was in fact capable of taking on the mantle of Lord Black, due to Sirius' most wanted status in the magical world. As a Black he'd still be able to withdraw any money he desired unless it's stated otherwise. Despite his parents disownment they had not directly forbidden him from the fortune.
"Enter!" the Dark Lord called to the wizard at the other side of the door after just two swift thumps to his door. He knew exactly who it was, he had many wards upon his property, he was very paranoid when it came to his security. Turning around in his chair, he observed Rabastan entering his office, wondering if he would need to endure another round of pleading for something to do to aid their cause. Something he swiftly and relentlessly denied them. They had not been fit enough for that, even now, he didn't want to risk them being seen, or found out, no glamour was full proof.
"My Lord," Rabastan said reverently, inclining his head in respect. Knowing the Dark Lord would get impatient if he didn't get to what he wished to discuss he asked, "May I have permission to speak to Harry?" technically Harry lived under the Dark Lords' roof, he did too for most part, but he was in the guest wing, while Harry…he was in a the family wing very close to the Dark Lord's own quarters. If Harry was there, then he wouldn't be able to pass through to see him.
"He's in the dungeons," the Dark Lord informed Rabastan speculatively, "Bear in mind that I will be very unhappy if he is attacked without provocation," or with it come to that, but he knew Harry could press everyone's buttons. Not expecting any retaliation was asking for a miracle, it did amuse him so.
Rabastan had to stop himself shivering, when the Dark Lord said 'unhappy' he meant very furious. When he was furious 'unhappy' he got curse happy. Not something he desired to have upon his person thank you very much. "My Lord I mean him no harm, I just wish to ask him a question," he promised dutifully.
"Very well," Voldemort waved him off, dismissing him.
Rabastan knew where the dungeons were, although he hadn't spent much time down there. He wasn't quite fond of small enclosed spaces, and he'd rather avoid it given the opportunity. Unfortunately, he wanted to speak to Harry more than he wanted to avoid the dungeons. He'd actually wanted to speak to Harry for a while now, months. He just didn't know how to go about it, he envied Barty for being so friendly. He was also wary because he knew Harry was friends with Neville Longbottom, which left him feeling awkward around the teen. He'd paid for his actions, heavily, he regretted them. Not that anyone, not even his brother knew, but if he felt the same as him, then he would know.
He wasn't sure what he was expecting down there, probably torture of some kind, it was really the only reason anyone came down here. What he didn't expect was for Barty and Harry to be eating a feast sat atop of a table. Ah, torture of a different kind then, mental instead of physical if one could say the Cruciatus Curse was physical, but really it was a mental torture since nobody was actually hurting them.
"Hey, Rab," Barty said in greeting, Harry didn't even turn around but he had definitely heard or sensed the youngest Lestrange. "You joining us?" assuming that he was here for him, due to the fact the Lestrange's and Harry had only ever been in a room together a handful of times – if that – and he noticed they tended to avoid him or just watch from a distance.
"Sure," Rabastan said, jealousy simmering under the surface, Barty had been his best friend, been with him through thick and thin. From being newbies in the Dark Lord's ranks to commiserating over his brother's marriage to the downfall of their Lord. He was here for a reason though, so without another word he moved down the steps and conjured a chair for himself. Watching their current prisoners salivating over the food they definitely wouldn't get. It was perhaps the worst kind of torture you could heap upon a person. "They don't look like they'll survive much longer." He said eyeing the Dursley's speculatively.
"I know, brilliant isn't it?" Harry said bearing his teeth at the family who raised him, there was no better way for them to go in his opinion. They'd starved and beaten him his entire life, he'd wanted their end to be slow and painful. He was getting his wish, if he owed Voldemort anything it was for this, and for giving him the strength required to take his freedom with both hands and not let go. Allowing him to spread his wings, even his Patronus agrees.
"Have you taken over the Black estate?" Rabastan blurted out hastily, not able to keep silent any longer.
Harry blinked, staring at Rabastan in surprise, both at the question and the fact he'd been directly questioned. Only the father had so far had actually said anything to him in all the time he'd seen the Lestranges. "You are aware that Sirius is still alive aren't you?" he informed Rabastan a tinge of sarcasm in his voice.
"Legally he wasn't able to become Lord Black, not until he was declared innocent," Barty pointed out lazily as he ate the food on his plate, having gotten bored of taunting the Dursley's by offering food before retracting it and stuffing it in his mouth.
"Meh," Harry shrugged, he couldn't care less.
"You're a Black by blood, not just by being Black's godchild and magical guardian," Rabastan.
Harry leaned back, his head hanging over the chair as he stared at the ceiling. "Why don't you just ask what you want instead of trying to lead me where you want me and then trying to get what you want though manipulation." All the Slytherin's were the same, but it was just their way. There were times though that he got too impatient to do the whole run around with the Slytherin's. Left over habit from being in Gryffindor maybe?
Barty pursed his lips, giving Rab a serious nod, if he wanted whatever it is he wanted, then he'd best just be honest. He wondered what on earth Rab could possibly want from Harry, potions? It was possible but given the way he began talking about Black and his estate he doubted very much that was what it was.
"I want Bellatrix Lestrange disowned and disinherited," Rabastan informed Harry seriously, giving it to him straight.
Shock splashed across Harry's face, "I see," he replied, "I must admit that was the last thing I expected out of your mouth. Especially considering how close you all are, does your brother even know what you're trying to do?" his tone turning doubtful as he said the last part.
"They have to be," Barty revealed solemnly, "Bellatrix…isn't all there, and anything she does, well it reflects badly on the Lestrange and Black name."
Rabastan glared at Barty in genuine anger, this wasn't something spread around.
"Well that's hardly a secret," Harry snorted mockingly, "Even I could tell that after half an hour with her. She's a psychopath,"
Both Pure-blood's looked at him blankly.
"This world is so behind that's it's utterly ridiculous," Harry sighed, "Since in the Muggle world spans over many things, from blood diseases, curing sicknesses, to mental problems, without magic they've done exceedingly well for themselves. Over the years they observe people, diagnose them with problems, and give them names, there's a horrible stigma attached to mental problems."
Barty nodded, he was aware of that, he had read through all the books he had on different things. He had been out in the muggle world two more times to collect more information. He wasn't much aware of the mental side of things though. "So can she be cured?"
"Merlin, no," Harry revealed with a sigh, shaking his head.
"What exactly is a psychopath?" Barty asked, curiously, wondering if it would sound anything like Bellatrix or if Harry was just being difficult.
"There are multiple conceptualizations of psychotherapy, a grandiose self-perception is one of them, they like to cosy up to powerful people in order to raise their own status. They believe they are owed special treatment over others." Harry revealed.
Barty and Rabastan grimaced well that sounded like Bellatrix alright.
"They tend to see nothing at all wrong with their way of being in the world. Psychopaths are infamous for their refusal to acknowledge responsibility for the decisions they make, or the outcomes of their decisions. In fact, a refusal to see the results of one's bad behaviour as having anything to do with oneself—"consistent irresponsibility" are common impulsive ideas that a psychopath might act on." Using the words he'd read in the book, quite recently too. "They also loathe authority figures and consider themselves above the rules."
Yes, sounded more and more like Bellatrix the boys couldn't help but think.
"Psychopaths don't have a moral compass, they lack empathy and will do or hurt anyone they can in order to get ahead. Regardless of who it is at the end of the day." Harry continued, "They also have shallow emotions, they don't really react to death, injuries or other events, the way it would affect others."
Both couldn't help but be drawn to instances from their pasts, that ticked another box against Bellatrix. Like her father's death, her sisters – Narcissa and Andromeda – had been inconsolable while Bellatrix just stood there blank faced. It was actually the first time they'd begun to think something was wrong.
"They're cannot feel guilt but they're good at feigning empathy in front of others.." Harry frowned trying to remember everything else he'd learned. "They love to create chaos because they bore easily, they can't bond with people, they're emotionally incapable of it, making it easy for them to pick up and discard lovers. They never really get flabbergasted when caught, they're calm and confident especially while lying…but they can and often do pretend especially if they were taught to appear so. This makes her a very dangerous individual, especially when she wants something,"
Rabastan's stomach twisted at the thought of it all laid bare, "Can it…is it genetic?"
"All the Black's suffer from some form of insanity," Harry pointed out grimly, "Bellatrix just happened to be the worst. I think my own godfather suffered a mild form of mental illness, but not a psychopath. Unlike Bellatrix he's able to make bonds with others, but he doesn't think through the consequences of his actions, and it's not just being stupid he did something when he was sixteen so, yeah, he's definitely not all there even before Azkaban. What can you expect with all the interbreeding the Black's did? As I've said before it doesn't just affect the magic it affects everything."
"Huh," Barty said thoughtfully, the food forgotten as he contemplated on the newest bout of information Harry revealed to him. He needed to get a few new books, but he definitely wasn't going to ask with Rab around.
"Anyway, why are you suddenly wanting Bellatrix out of your life?" Harry asked, even more interesting is the fact he had come to him and not Voldemort. "Has something happened?" and would Voldemort consider this a 'betrayal' if they went behind his back? It didn't really have anything to do with him, but no doubt he'd still be pissed.
Too bad Harry didn't care much about Voldemort's approval with something he considered his life.
As for Rabastan...he just wanted his brother to have what he wanted more than anything else, a wife who loved him and a child he sore dear desired.
Will Harry become Lord Black with Sirius' blessing or will Harry have to convince – maybe not so much in the way of needing convincing – to break the marriage between Bellatrix and Rodolphus? Then again, that would make Sirius aware of the fact they are not dead…ooo trouble arising I guess I'll need to make sure that Harry DOES become Lord of the Black estate, Harry will want Sirius ignorant for a while long…or as long as humanly possible especially about his allegiance. Will Sirius dig into the incident and find out that Dumbledore was behind it after all this time? Will this be what causes Remus and Sirius to switch sides? Or will they go neutral just to keep their relationship with Harry possible? Read and Review please!