They've Invaded!
Chapter 5: TAKE THAT BUNKER!
Disclaimer: I don't own fan fiction… yet… (also note… this makes more sense if you've played the game on multiplayer mode… maybe if you've seen Star Wars you'll get it better too… and don't be too offended by anything… also, don't expect it to be logical…)
Reviews:
I wish I got reviews for this story!
GOLD STARS:
Those of you with computers can have 24
Those of you without computers can have 5789 (for finding a way to get here anyway)
And I love you guys… in a non gay non friendly relationship
I will finish this as long as you promise not to touch me in appropriate ways…
THIS WILL NOT CONTAIN ANY ANTI IRAQ WAR STUFF BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO DO THAT!
(why do you people insist…)
(why do I say you insist when no one has done anything like that yet…)
Dude… I ate someone once… and he was like "DUDE THAT HURTS!"… heh… what a moron!
REEL BIG FISH?…
"FREEDOM!" Isabella screamed as Chris walked/swam/drove back to the underground hideout.
With that, Bags, Chris, and Troy headed up to Greenwich Village to buy some pizza… and maybe take 4 randomly placed bunkers while they were at it.
(with the U.S.N.R.P.T.F.W.T.T./United Stupid Nerds Republic of Picking Tomato Fungi With Their Toes… or Russians for short)
"I will go and kill some people now!" General Bulba said and walked out his apartment into Greenwich Village. The complete insignificance of this little square of land baffled him.
"The insignificance of this little square of land baffles me!" General Grievous said before leaving the Freedom Fighters Universe and going back to his little fan boy section of people who conveniently ignore the fact that he lost his very first Jedi battle… actually, he got pwnd…
(on the battlefield…)
With this Chris, Bags, and Troy all ran to three separate bunkers (the one by the underground entrance, the one on the side by the rocket launcher, and the one with absolutely no landmarks save three army truck things…). General Bulba ran to the last remaining bunker. Then Bags went to go get the pizza.
(with Chris… in the useless bunker)
"TAKE THAT BUNKER!" Chris yelled pointing at General Bulba's bunker.
"You haven't recruited us yet…" said one of the freedom fighters.
"Oh… Join up!" Chris yelled about 90 times in a row just to get the three people he could recruit. "OK! NOW GET THAT BUNKER!"
With this, all three of Chris' men charged towards the bunker, and got mowed down without a fight.
"Umm… JOIN UP!" Chris yelled again while running around in circles in order to get three more soldiers.
(with that stupid Russian dude… in the heavy machine gun bunker)
"I WANT ALL OF YOU TO GO HIDE SOMEWHERE!" General Bulba said, sadly none of them listened.
"SOMETHING RUSSIAN" one of the soldiers said.
"SOMETHING GERMAN" another soldier replied.
"JOIN UP!" General Bulba said over and over until he got all eight soldier slots filled up.
"JOIN UP!" General Bulba said to another man. This man started laughing until he got shot in the side of the head and fell over.
(with Troy… the sexy one… in the rocket launcher bunker)
"WOOT! I GOT A SNIPER!" Troy yelled and started sniping away at General Bulba's non-recruited men.
"Don't you want us to do anything?" one of the soldiers asked.
"NO!" Troy yelled and threw a grenade at the soldiers feet. The soldier went flying up into the air, slapped his head into the corner of the bunker, and rolled to where he was leaning on the machine gun, then the grenade exploded. The soldier flew back into the air, slammed into a nearby taxi, and then just lay silently on his back.
"HAHA!" Troy yelled pointing at the soldier.
Just then the soldier got back up, shook his head a little, and ran back into the bunker.
"WHAT?" Troy screamed before realizing he didn't care and then just went back to uselessly sniping all of the Russians, who seemed to be just appearing out of thin air.
(with Bags… the unloved one… at the local pizza hut)
"Yeah… I'd like four extra large pizzas with pepperoni and 'shrooms… yes the kind that will make you high… It's for the resistance" Bags said completely ignoring the seven Russian soldiers in the room… and the ever perky General Tatarin.
"I'd kill you! But I'm off duty right now…" General Tatarin said pointing at Bags with disgust.
"Ok then… I'll ignore you for now too!" Bags said.
Then the two respective morons went their ways.
(with Chris again…)
"Ok… I'm just going to leave you three guys in this bunker, I'll go attack their bunker with my trusty shotgun!" Chris said running off.
"He's gone…" one of Chris' three men said.
"Yeah…" another one said.
"LETS PARTY!" the third one said. With this, they all pulled out molotovs and started throwing them around in the bunker.
(with Bulba… the retarded monkey butt)
The sniping had been going on for a while now… screams could be heard in France, but that was unrelated to the subject. The soldiers in Bulba's bunker started increasing for some reason… even thought they were being sniped as they appeared… the count was now at twenty…
(with Isabella)
"It really is boring here… just telling other people to go attack stuff… but at least I get credit as the leader!" Isabella said.
(with Troy)
"WOW! Even though it's obvious that the mass killing of their non-recruited men just gives them more somehow, I think I'm gonna keep going!" Troy said sniping away.
"Sir, isn't that retarded!" the soldier that had been hit with the grenade earlier asked.
"You know what… go by that taxi I blasted you into earlier…" Troy said. The man ran over to the taxi. Troy shot the taxi in the windshield… causing it to explode… sending the man back into the base after cracking his head into the mounted machine gun. He then got back up.
"How do you do that?" Troy asked.
"I don't know…" the man stated.
"If you're so powerful… why don't you just go beat that bunker all by yourself?" Troy asked.
"I don't know…" the man stated.
"Go do it?" Troy asked.
"I don't know…" the man stated. With this the man charged towards the Russian bunker… got shot in the foot… and fell over, dead.
(with General Tatarin)
Tatarin sat in his apartment looking out on the ruins of New York.
"Why must men be so flesh-like?" He said deeply. Then he forgot and logged onto his computer to chat
with his best friend, General Grievous.
"Hello… I'm more pathetic than you are…" General Grievous said.
"No… I'm the most pathetic general around!" General Tatarin yelled.
"I got beaten in my first Jedi battle against a guy who only uses one light saber when I used four…" General Grievous said.
"I never even got into a battle… I sat in my room talking on my cell phone even as I watched a shady figure kill all my body guards, I did nothing as he sniped me… he even missed and got my hand with the first shot and I didn't do a thing about it…" General Tatarin replied… confident he was a bigger failure of a general.
"I like to read poetry!" General Grievous said.
"I WRITE POETRY!" General Tatarin said with a grin.
"Dang… you are pathetic…" General Grievous said and then logged off.
(with Chris)
Chris charged into Bulba's bunker and shot all eight of his shotgun rounds into the crowed of now 40 soldiers… none of them were injured… they all mowed Chris down.
He then reappeared in his bunker suddenly.
"Woa… trippy…" Chris said and then looked around… everyone in his bunker was lit on fire and running around drunk… or pretending to be drunk.
Then, the 'game' suddenly ended… all the soldiers on fire fell over and screamed as their flesh melted.
(with Bulba)
All the people who got snipped stayed dead… until there were 50 dead bodies inside his base… then General Bulba ran away crying.
(with Troy)
"Ok then…" Troy said and went back to the sewer base thing area.
(With Bags)
"I HAVE THE PIZZA!" Bags said walking up to Chris… they both went back to the base happy… and full… and they were telling stories that I cant repeat for fear of being banned by fanfiction…
(With Isabella)
"I wish I was more useful…" Isabella said with a sigh as Troy, Bags, and Chris returned to the base with the pizza.
"Did you win anything?" Isabella asked.
"Not really… we left without even getting the flag… so we lost…" Chris said.
"But at least we have the pizza!" Bags said.
And with that… everyone laughed… and/or cried… and/or screamed in horror as their liver was eaten by 'accident'
YAY!
You should be thankful… I just wrote something for you!
AND IT WASN'T POETRY!
I used this story to kind of blow off some steam from my stupid humanities class… now I'm using it to yell about my stupid poetry section in English… boy I like to complain…
But at least I get a 4.o (gets slapped for telling bad pun…)
And stuff… I have a friend who may start writing a humor in this section… SO I WONT FEEL SO LONELY!
But in the end I'll be lonely anyways and then get slapped for being such a whiney bh…
R&R! Read and Reruns!