They've Invaded!
Chapter 7: Taking Back New York
Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned unless it relates to the Kazzjaff… or something like that…
Reviews:
I got one person who reviewed all 6 chapters in one night… so now I'm like… uber high in reviews and stuff…
GOLD STARS:
If you do a back flip then you can have 24...
If you accept the ways of the Kazzjaff then you can have 25...
If you admit I'm better than you then you only get 15 cause you're a wimp…
YAY!
My friend got an I-pod… that turns me on… not in that way… the good way… wait… IS there a good way? Either way I'm happy, and that's all you should care about!
REEL BIG FISH! ICP! Umm… newgrounds sucks at the moment… but oh well… OLD SCHOOL NEWGROUNDS!
LAST TIME ON: "They've Invaded!"
Screams, something, eyes went wide in horror or something along those lines…
NOW! FOR THE NEXT EPISODE!
Chris relaxed when he noticed it was just an entire family getting horribly mauled by a sewer monster… he then got back to more… pressing… matters.
"Has anyone seen my bacon?" Chris said walking in circles along the tiny island thing.
No one was there to respond… Baggs' body was still laying there… providing a cozy home for the mice, Troy had left to "find other freedom movements" but Chris knew that only meant "star in a movie and make millions"… he sure hoped Troy was doing a good job in the movie business, and Isabella had locked herself in her bedroom and refused to come out… she said something about how nobody loved her anymore…
So Chris got bored, and, as all bored people do, he decided to go kill Russians!
Chris climbed out of the sewers in search of a big, important looking building to attack, he immediately found one… a High School, that was still in session even!
(With the Russians/Japanese/Chinese/Iranians/Afghans/Iraqis/Mexicans/Cubans/Hawians/Veitnamese/Ew)
"I sure love this website!" Tatarin said in a glorious manor.
"I'm just so sick of it! Why wont you leave me alone!" Bulba cried in horror as he was being forced to stay awake for 74 hours so he could watch his fellow General play video games and watch… umm… pony videos…
"Listen to the pony! Accept the pony! Protect the pony! KILL ALL OF THE PONY'S ENEMIES!" The children's show was depicting a red pony going against capitalist monkeys. It showed all capitalists as people who enjoy flinging poo… meanwhile the cute little pony went and got an army of cute little teddy bears and massacred the monkeys, drinking their blood afterwards and saying "YAY! RED TASTES GOOD!"
Tatarin was proud in the spread of the wonders of communism… he loved this show…
"MAKE IT STOP!" Bulba screamed in pain.
Just then a Russo-Prusso-Franko-Japanese Brit ran into the room with a piece of paper glued to his mom.
"SIR! THE HIGH SCHOOL IS UNDER ATTACK! WHAT SHOULD WE DO!" The solder said, sounding horrified.
"Lets watch more of this pony show!" Tatarin said, and as everyone nodded in agreement loving this show, Bulba snuck out the door to find Chris and ask him to let him stay with the Americans instead of the creepy General Tatarin. He was tired of Tatarin's late night baby raids. He was tired of the stench of blood after Tatarin had cut himself in places inappropriate.
(With the intolerant people who are just scared of change and wont accept the wonders of communism)
(I have just realized that I will be shot unless I state that I am not a communist… and I don't believe in it… but you're going to take this the wrong way and I'm going to be beaten by both sides and die alone because I wrote this story… thanks a lot you meanie!)
"WHEEE!" Chris said laughing his head off and butchering every single kid in the High School. "I've destroyed the communist threat to this school! Now I just need to raise this flag…"
Just as Chris was going to raise the flag, General Bulba came running from the nothingness that was 'outside of game boundaries' to talk to him.
"Hey! Chris! I've got something to…" Bulba started…
"AH! IT'S YOU!" Chris screamed, pulling his shotgun out and firing wildly. Strangely, he missed every bullet and killed some hippies in the background.
"We're saved! Now we can retake America!" some sergeant yelled and went with his squad onward to defeat the hippy menace that had almost captured all of the country.
"Whatever… just… will you let me…" Bulba started again…
"AHH! YOU'RE STILL HERE!" Chris screamed and fired even more wildly. He once again missed, and instead killed a mother and her 17.6 children…
"HEE-HAW!" a clown screamed before popping and jamming Chris' shotgun with his remains.
"NOO! THEY BEAT ME!" Chris said. He then started to gnaw off his leg, thinking that the answer to all of his problems was somewhere inside that tender, juicy meat.
"I JUST WANT TO JOIN YOUR FREEDOM THINGY MOVEMENT! AND MOVE AWAY FROM TATARIN!" Bulba said exasperated in an exasperating way… it was very exasperate and stuff…
"AHH! HE'S TALKING TO ME!" Chris yelled and started flailing his hands around wildly. "GO AWAY!"
So they peacefully resolved this argument over some tea and biscuits.
(With the Army, at Fort Jay, trying to defeat the hippy threat)
"SIR!" a young man in his seventies started. "We've got MRIs and PCUs going down the MLGED at TEDR time with a SMUE and a RRED!"
"What the hell did you just say?" the sergeant replied with a look of absolute confusion on his face.
"Umm… I'm not quite sure…" the soldier replied.
Just then, hundreds upon thousands upon millions upon billions upon trillions of cells charged into the room, these cells composed hippies… not too many hippies though… only two.
"WE WILL WI…" they started… but got blown away into non-existence by an AARP-23SKOO, the new weapon that the soldiers carried, it was the size of a cell phone, but shot tank bullets at a rate of 7,000 a minute. We will ignore your physics class for now and accept this as the truth.
(Back with the Russians/Africans/Southern Americans/Europeans/Fan boys)
"WHEE! KILLING PEOPLE THAT DON'T ACCEPT MY VIEWS IS FUN!" The pony said with delight as it tore the heart out of yet another monkey victim.
Everyone in the room giggled with delight at this statement.
(With the people who are fighting… or something along those lines…)
"Lets kill Tatarin!" Bulba said in a matter-o-faculty-o-nastymun-o-chapas voice.
"I'm the leader!" Isabella said screaming and pointing at herself, she then started to cry, and cut herself, and take drugs, the voices just wouldn't leave though… no matter how hard she tried. But then she suddenly got serious. "Lets kill Tatarin."
"I wanna go!" Chris said raising his hand in delight.
"Shouldn't Bulba go… I mean… he IS the one who is still a General in the foreign army!" a monkey said before getting its heart ripped out by an insanely cute red pony.
"No… I'm tired… I'm going to bed… Chris, good luck" Bulba said and fell over right on the spot.
"YAY!" Isabella said and ran into her room in order to cause even more bodily harm… and stuff…
So Chris walked into Tatarin's apartment with a gun.
"I've been expecting you…" Tatarin said with a grin… the ultimate showdown was here…
Tatarin had a heart attack and fell over and died.
"Well, that was easy" Chris said and started leaving. Just then, a helicopter showed up. This was it, Chris would either escape with his life… or something that wasn't escaping with his life…
Just then the pilot of the helicopter fell asleep and crashed into a building. Chris went home…
YAY!
Well, that was fun… and my mom read some of this… and got pissed off about the communist part… she thinks I'm like… an anti-American or something equally French…
Ok then…
I can only say I hate almost everyone ever… and this summer you shall all feel my wrath!
R&R! Read and Rob me of my dignity!