Well This Sucks... Chapter Five, Not Six!
Summary: Selected superstars of the WWE are taken to school! This time it ain't kindergarten, but sixth grade! How will they cope with the evil seventh and eighth graders that are out to make their life a living hell?
Disclaimer: I own John Cena & the janitor... riiight!
Pairing(s): As of now... NONE!
Author Notes: Lalalala... My only note is that I'm crazy... Heh, what else is new?
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After lunch, the students were ordered to go to the auditorium for a school wide announcement. While they waited they talked, of course it wasn't just whispering it actually sounded very similar to what you'd imagine a room of 500 people talking at once... But yeah, it wasn't hard to stop the talking... Okay, I'm lying, but Vince finally gained control and starting talking.
"As you may know, we've had a lot of injuries today... So many that the school board has already called and announced that the school will go to a schedule where everyone is in the same class room and the teachers go from room to room. They think that may be easier." Vince announced.
Everyone gasped, while Eugene started clapping his hands and jumping up and down in his seat. Vince stared at Eugene as he appeared to be having a seizure. The kids who were seated next to him freaked out and jumped out of their seats, backing away from him quickly.
"What is his problem?" Vince asked.
"He's retarded!" Coach replied.
"Shut up puke boy!" Austin ordered, throwing a beer can at Coach's head.
To everyone's surprise that beer can actually knocked him out. Eugene started yelling some weird words that made no sense while two people came in with a straight jacket.
"Take him to the mentally retarded room." Vince ordered.
"We don't have one of those rooms." One of the men stated.
"Well make one then!" Vince replied.
"How about Eric's room?" The other asked.
"Perfect!" Vince stated.
"Excuse me? Vince, that's my classroom...!" Eric exclaimed.
"He's your nephew! Plus, it isn't your classroom any more!" Vince snapped.
"Daddy, can I have a cell phone?" Stephanie asked.
"Of course, princess. Now go sit down." Vince replied.
"Brat." John commented.
"She is.." Lita agreed, leaning forward and resting her arms on the seat before her.
John glared back at her, "Someone needs to beat her down... You can do it."
Lita laughed, "No thanks. I don't want to be kicked out of school for beating down a whore."
"Shhh!" Mae ordered.
"Shush-it." John mocked, putting a finger up to his lips.
Lita glared at Mae, who surprising gave John the one finger salute. Lita and John's jaws dropped, Lita quickly grabbed Trish's attention, who was also shocked. Maria raised her hand.
"Yes, Mariah?" Vince questioned.
"That old lady is putting up her middle finger at Josh!" Maria exclaimed.
"Who?" Both Lita and John asked at once.
"That guy! YOU!" Maria replied, pointing at John.
"I'm John, not Josh..." John corrected.
"I like cookies." Maria stated.
John, Lita, Mae, Trish and Vince all looked forward, trying to figure out how she could be so stupid.
"Can I run her over?" Austin questioned.
"No, we can't afford any more injuries." Vince mumbled.
"Her parents may thank us." Eric commented.
"True, but still..." Vince replied.
-x-xx-x-
"I like kitties... I like meow mix, please deliver!" Maria sang as she walked through the hallway.
A foreign exchange student from California literally pulled out a gun and started shooting at Maria. Everyone started screaming and Maria started running like a fag, before she finally ran into a wall and knocked herself out. The kid put his gun back in his pocket and walked away as if nothing happened.
"NOOO! Not my baby!" Coach cried.
Everyone stared at Coach, who had a deflated ball in his hand, which was obviously hit by a bullet.
"Did you steal that kickball from the gym?" Dave asked.
"No... Mae gave it to me since it rolled in my pee." Coach snapped.
"Ewww, Matt fell in it too!" Jeff teased.
"No, I didn't...!" Matt sneered, crossing his arms.
"You did too, monkey butt!" Edge replied.
"Who?" Matt questioned.
"You, jackass, now go butt fuck some guys in the boys bathroom." Jericho ordered.
"Matt, you're gay?" Jeff asked.
"NOOO!" Matt exclaimed.
"Sure you aren't." Rock mumbled.
Before Matt could protest again, Eric and Linda walked up to the group of kids.
"GET TO CLASS!" Linda hissed.
"YEAH, RIGHT NOW!" Eric added.
"Go fuck yourself." Jericho replied before he walked off.
-x-xx-x-
"Welcome to table class... I am Al Snow, I teach art and of course table class..." Al announced.
"This is my kind of class." Bubba exclaimed.
"Same here, bro." D-Von agreed.
"I hate tables!" Trish exclaimed, crossing her arms.
"Same here... Assholes you put me through a table in 4th grade!" Lita sneered, gesturing to Bubba.
"You liked it and you know it." Bubba replied.
"Sure I did." Lita mumbled sarcastically.
"See, you liked it!" D-Von stated.
"No I didn't!" Lita protested.
"Shut up!" Coach screamed.
"Hey, Coach! Go to detention! There will be no talking in my class!" Al snapped.
"What! I was only telling them to be quiet!" Coach exclaimed.
"Too bad! Now go!" Al sneered.
Coach pouted before he ran out of the room crying like a little bitch, while a few people took pictures of him doing so to put in the year book. Why on earth they were already doing that was pretty much unexplainable, but they did it anyway. As Coach skipped to detention he received a few curious looks from students who were also sent to detention, but, unlike Coach, were going in the correct direction. As Coach skipped long side the lockers he failed to notice Stacy going to her locker and when she opened it she slammed the door right in Coach's face, knocking him out.
"Opps." Stacy exclaimed before looking around to see if anyone noticed.
She seen Chris and Rock walking down the hallway with a broken guitar, she quickly ran up to them and told them that she knocked Coach out. The two laughed before they suggested to stuff him in a locker. Therefore, the three of them shoved him into his locker after they broke it open with a crowbar that they stole from Mr. Mankind's class room. After they bolted it shut with nails and a hammer that they stole from Mr. Snow's class from they ran away laughing.
-x-xx-x-
Meanwhile, a group of kids were currently skipping class so they could talk about none other than the popular subject of girls.
"So… You don't like Lita?" John asked.
"No.. Man, she's pretty, but I like Torrie." Dave replied.
"Torrie? Torrie Wilson?" Randy questioned.
"No.. Torrie Young!" Dave snapped sarcastically.
"The gym teacher's daughter?" John asked.
Dave blinked, "Her daughter has to be at least 30 years old!"
"True." John, Randy and Hunter agreed.
Hunter was one of the most popular and feared eighth graders in the entire school, hanging out with sixth graders would probably be frowned upon if it weren't for John and Hunter being brothers. While, Randy was exceptionally 'cool' in Hunter's opinion. Dave was another story, to Hunter Dave was on the same level of physicality. However, Hunter had been held back last year, he was still feared because of his 'toy'. That toy being the sledgehammer that he literally kept in his locker.
"So… Lil' bro, you got your eyes set on anyone?" Hunter questioned, putting his arm around his younger brother's shoulders.
"Well.. There is this girl.. I've kinda liked her since like kindergarten… But she would neva go for a guy like me." John relied sadly.
"What's her name? Maybe I could get her to go out with you?" Hunter offered.
"Well… Maybe, if you threatened her…But I don't want you to threaten her!" John stated.
"I wasn't going to… Just tell me her name, I won't laugh. I swear." Hunter promised.
"Fine… Her name is Lita." John informed him.
"I knew it!" Randy exclaimed.
"Shut up!" John ordered, narrowing his eyes at the taller boy.
"Man, there isn't anything wrong with liking Lita. She's pretty." Dave stated.
"She's hot." John agreed.
Hunter smirked, "Well.. I'm sure that if you asked her out.. She'd say yes."
"Rite, stop gettin' my hopes up." John mumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
Randy, Dave and Hunter watched as the love struck boy walked off. Hunter shook his head.
"My brother is a loser." Hunter muttered.
To Be Continued…
By the request of a friend… it's gonna be John/Lita. So, what'd you think!