Well This Sucks... Chapter Six, Not Sixty!
Summary: Selected superstars of the WWE are taken to school! This time it ain't kindergarten, but sixth grade! How will they cope with the evil seventh and eighth graders that are out to make their life a living hell?
Disclaimer: I own no one.. so please, don't sue me.
Pairing(s): Possible John/Lita
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Finally, the first day was over. Yes it was now the second day of school, one which would be pretty promising if John Cena could get to the girl that he had desired to talk to for some time now. However, things would never go your way if you went to the WWE Junior High... Unless you were Stephanie or Shane McMahon, but that's another story. It was currently 'new schedule' time in the auditorium. There wasn't a kid in the entire room that wasn't talking about who they wanted to see in their classes. With great ease, JBL and Orlando inched their way to Mr. McMahon.
"Sir, we have the money we said we'd pay you if you'd put us in the same classes together. Oh and with Doug and Danny, of course." JBL whispered, handing him a wad of about a hundred dollars in singles.
"All singles?" Vince asked.
"Just as you asked." Orlando replied.
"Good. Now hurry off before someone sees you." Vince ordered.
"Yes, sir." Orlando and JBL responded at once.
After the two of them ran off, John walked up to Mr. McMahon, in hopes that he could possibly talk the elder man into placing himself, Dave, Randy and Lita in the same class.
"Can I help you?" Vince asked.
"Yea, you can. You see, my best friends an' I wanna be in the same classes togetha." John started.
"Really now. Do you have one hundred dollars, or close to one hundred dollars, in cash?" Vince questioned.
"Why would I have a hundred dollars in singles?" John inquired.
"Ah, no reason.. Well, I'll see what I can do." Vince answered.
JBL's jaw dropped as John walked off, "We could have just said that? My mom was mad at me for stealing fifty out of dad's piggy bank!"
"My dad was mad at me for selling his gun for ten dollars." Orlando informed him.
"When you could have gotten a hundred?" JBL exclaimed.
"Who'd you sell it to?" Doug asked.
"Him." Orlando replied, pointing at Austin.
They all stared at him as he cleaned the gun with some sort of polisher, a smirk coming across his face as he cocked the gun.
"And he brought it to school?" JBL exclaimed with a scared expression on his face.
"Did you tell him your name?" Danny asked.
"Ah, yeah.. So he could be nice to me instead of run me over with his tractor like he always does." Orlando replied.
"What tractor?"
"The thing he's like sitting on right now." Orlando stated as if they were all stupid.
"That's a four wheeler, jackass." Jericho informed him.
"Yeah, bitch." Rock added with a smirk.
"How rude." JBL commented.
"Look, it's a gay jackass! What grade are you in?" Jericho asked.
Before JBL could speak Rock cut in, "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT GRADE YOU'RE IN!"
JBL blinked as the two walked off laughing. Mae was still walking around with her middle finger in the air, for some reason she couldn't put it down and now it was permanently stuck like that. As she limped past a group of foreign exchange students from Alaska, they all gasped. One even took off their glove to give her the one finger salute before they threw their shoe at her head.
"That's for Adam Sandler!" The kid yelled as the rest of the kids cheered him on.
"They're demons." A kid from the group of real foreign exchange students from Canada and Ontario.
While Mae laid knocked out on the auditorium floor, a few kids started to poke her to see if she was alive. And when she didn't move they started cheering, until Mr. Mankind ordered them to stop. Finally, they started handing out schedules. A few kids were crying because they'd be with Big Show and Kane for the rest of the year. While others were happily talking with their friends about how the year would turn out with them being in the same classes. Meanwhile, a group of girls were talking about which 'group' they were in as they have been given a group number, the people in their class and their schedule for the rest of the year.
"I got… Edge… Christian… Matt…" Trish read off slowly. "Well this sucks!"
"Not as bad as it sucks for me… I've got Randy Orton, John Cena, Dave Batista, Coach Coachman, Chris Jericho, Rock Johnson and Maria!" Lita stated sadly.
"What's wrong with Maria?" Candice asked.
"What isn't wrong with Maria?" Torrie replied, rolling her eyes.
"That was really mean." Victoria declared.
"But true." Lita added as she shrugged her shoulders.
"Let me see that..." Trish mumbled as she took Lita's schedule and list of classmates away from her.
"You got Bischoff for Math... That retard Mae for gym..." Trish read off.
There was a sudden sound of a scream, this scream had came from none other than The Coach, who was being yelled at by Mae. Mae apparently had gave him the 'bird' and he called her a stupid bitch, Mae grabbed Coach's ear and dragged him to the office.
"Looks like Mae can put her middle finger down again..." Victoria commented as they rushed past them.
"Good thing too." Torrie muttered.
Trish cleared her throat, "You have Snow for Art... Ross for Language..."
Meanwhile, Randy and John were studying their schedules as well. John grinning as he heard he and Lita were in the same class, for some reason he thought that that would make his chances of going out with her greater.
"You seriously need help." Dave stated as John dug through his backpack.
"What? I don't see nothin' wrong with me." John replied as he pulled out a small t-shirt.
"You stole a girl's shirt... why, I honestly don't want to know." Randy pointed out.
"Man, I didn't 'steal' her shirt.. I borrowed it. There's a big difference." John corrected quickly.
Randy blinked, "Borrowed? How does that work?"
"Well... I took it, but I plan on returnin' it." John informed him.
"When? When you two get together? She'd probably dump you if she found out you stole her shirt." Dave insisted.
"Or she might think it was kinky.." Randy declared with a smirk. "God, if she does I might have to go out with her."
John smacked Randy upside the head, "Man, shut up.. You don't even know what two plus two is."
"I do so! It's twenty-two! Everyone knows that!" Randy exclaimed.
"Sure they do…" John mumbled.
Meanwhile, Chris Jericho and Rock were watching the three boys, shaking their heads as they started spitting spitballs at the annoying pair of Matt Hardy and Ashley Massaro, who were apparently going out.
"Haha!" Jericho teased as a spitball hit Matt's face.
"Man, cut it out!" Matt yelled as he brushed the spitball off his face.
"Ewww." Ashley mumbled.
"Fuck this!" Rock snapped before he threw the straw at Matt. "God, let's go annoy Hurricane and Rosey again."
"Yeah, they're always fun to tease…" Jericho mumbled as they walked away.
"That was…" Matt started.
"Odd." Ashley finished.
-x-xx-x-
After Randy and Dave did some major persuading John was finally going to make his first attempt at talking to Lita. Of course his first task would be to get her away from her friends so he could strike up a conversation without Trish Stratus telling him what he should and shouldn't say half the time. How he was going to do that… he was very uncertain.
He finally came up with a plan as he 'paid' Chris Masters, a seventh grader who was pretty buff for his age, to distract the girls while he plotted to pull Lita away from the group. So while Chris walked up to the girls John would figure Lita would most likely leave the other girls to drool over him, however things don't always go as planned..
Turns out Chris hadn't had the slightest clue who Lita was, and when he was told not to talk to her.. Well, he just so happened to the Lita was Christy. Therefore, when the spunky redhead jumped in front of him he ignored her, smirking at the other girls as he went around Christy. Christy started to cry and ran away and then ran into the nearest restroom to cry her eyes out. Chris' gaze settling on the other redhead in the group, who was looking the older boy up and down. While Randy and Dave tried their best not to break out into laughter John was trying to figure out why on earth Chris was hitting on Lita.
"This kid totally ain't professional.." John mumbled as he shook his head.
"That's because you said the redhead, while pointing at Christy… Dumbass." Dave stated.
"Shit!" John muttered.
"You're such a loser." Randy declared.
"If I'm lucky he'll leave 'em alone." John commented.
"Sure, that'll happen." Dave replied as Chris received the redhead's phone number.
John's jaw dropped before he slapped Randy upside the head again.
"What was that for!" Randy yelled as he rubbed the back of his head.
"That was your 'man' and you fuckin' ruined my shot with Lita there!" John snapped.
"I'm sorry?" Randy offered. "How was I supposed to know he'd go after Lita? I mean Trish is finer…"
Once again John smacked Randy upside the head.
"Lita's better." John protested.
To Be Continued…
Sorry if it was sort or bad… Next chapter should be a little better.