Arthur woke to the sound of pounding feet. His head ached as he lifted it, opening his eyes to a spinning world. "Sire!" Leon's voice reached the Prince's ears about the same time the knight's feet reached his side and he felt a hand on his shoulder supporting him as he tried to sit up and look around.
"I'm all right," Arthur said as he tried to force the world to stop spinning around him. "What happened?" was his next comment.
"I'm not sure, sire," Leon replied, "We only just arrived."
"The wyverns?" Arthur asked, remembering why Leon, Percival, and Elyan hadn't accompanied him farther into the sanctuary of the Old Religion.
"They took off," Leon replied. "I have no explanation for it." Arthur tensed as he remembered the Cailleach and the tear. He forced his eyes open and managed to focus on the tear, or rather where the tear used to be. It was gone now. Fixed, and he was still alive.
"The Cailleach?" he asked. "The tear? What happened?"
Leon began to shake his head but stopped short as a pained voice behind him spoke up.
"Merlin," Lancelot's voice cracked as it reached the King who felt his heart stop. "It was Merlin. He took your place, sire. He," the knight paused to swallow, wishing he did not have to say what had happened, wishing he had managed to stop it as he had intended. "He sacrificed himself to close the tear between the worlds. He's gone."
Arthur couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, he wasn't sure he knew how to anymore. It wasn't until a feral growl reached his ears that he realized Gwaine was awake, not that he could convince himself to care much.
"What?!" Gwaine's voice was a fierce growl, more animal than man. "What do you mean Merlin's gone? He couldn't…He wouldn't…Why?!" Gwaine wanted to rage, to hit something, or someone, hard. He wanted to find that Cailleach woman and beat her to death, although considering she was the gatekeeper of the spirit world she was probably immortal, which didn't sound so bad really because it would mean he could beat her forever.
Gwaine forced himself to his feet, despite Elyan's best effort to keep him down, ready to tear down whatever he got his hands on. "The woman? The Cailleach?" he growled, his eyes scanning for any sign of her.
"She vanished," Lancelot answered, "Right after," but he stopped again, unable to complete the sentence. He felt himself trembling and clenched his hands to try and stop it, but it did no good. He felt a large, warm hand on his shoulder, steadying him and lending him strength. He did not need to look to know that it was Percival.
"Gwaine! Where are you going?!" All but Arthur looked up at Elyan's cry.
"To find the bitch," Gwaine growled, "To make her bring Merlin back."
"Gwaine, you can't," Elyan started to argue, but the drunken knight was already off and running.
Elyan turned to Arthur at a loss, but the Prince made no move to give direction. It was Leon who said, "Bring him back here. We need to," he paused, "We need to get back to Camelot." Elyan nodded, taking off after the rogue knight.
"Can you stand?" Percival's soft voice reached Lancelot's ear and he nodded, taking the hand that had left his shoulder to wait before him. The large Knight gave a tug and Lancelot found himself swaying on his feet. He reached out, latching onto Percival's arm to steady himself as the world tilted dangerously and his stomach tried to rebel. Percival placed his free hand on the dark-haired knight's back, steadying him. After a moment he felt Lancelot relax and dropped his hands.
"Sire," Leon murmured, squeezing the Prince's shoulder. He had received no response for several minutes and he was getting worried.
The Prince's face was pale and Leon wasn't sure anymore that he was actually breathing. His suspicion was confirmed as Arthur's eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped against the older knight.
Arthur came to the second time even more slowly than the first. He didn't want to wake. He opened his eyes hoping, praying that this was the first time, that the previous had just been a horrible nightmare. Merlin couldn't be gone. As he glanced around he knew it was true. He could see the loss on Lancelot's face, feel it in the way Leon supported his back, hear it in Gwaine's angry yells.
"Sire," Leon's voice was steady beside him and Arthur leaned on it for strength, "We need to get back to Camelot." It took a moment but finally Arthur nodded and with Leon's help stood.
"We can't leave Merlin," Gwaine growled, advancing on the Prince Regent fiercely. Leon stepped forward, placing a hand on the rogue knight's chest to stop him. "We can't leave him," Gwaine repeated.
Arthur snorted cynically. "Did you find him?" Arthur asked, "In all your running around like a fool, did you find him?" Gwaine swallowed and shook his head. "Then how are we leaving him?" Arthur questioned, pain and fury in his voice, "He's not here. He left us."
That shut the rogue knight up instantly. Because even through his own anger, he could hear what the Prince was really saying. He left me. After a moment, he gave a jerky nod, accepting the need to leave.
In silence, they returned to the boat, then to caves, choosing this time to go around rather than through with the wildren. They collected the horses, Gwaine grabbing the reigns to Merlin's mount, feeling protective. The horse nudged his chest, as if asking where his rider was. Gwaine slipped the creature an apple before tying the reigns to his own horse to take back with them.
They took a little extra time travelling back but after a week of travel, they returned to the city. The people poured out of their homes to cheer the returning heroes, most not even noticing the sorrow in their faces.
Gwen scanned the faces of the returning heroes, first ensuring that Arthur was safe. Then to Lancelot, who had promised to protect his King with his own life. Seeing them both, she frowned, worried. She counted. They were short by one, but it took her mind a second to realize who it was that was missing.
"Oh, my boy," she heard Gaius murmur softly by her side and gasped.
"Merlin," she whispered, her eyes going again to Arthur. He met her gaze and she could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes. She covered her mouth, tears starting to leak out already. Arthur dismounted, tossing his reigns to a knight who came forward to take the horse to the stables and headed directly to her, hugging her tightly.
She could feel him shaking slightly and hugged him back just as tightly. They stood there for several minutes before Arthur pulled back and turned to the Physician.
"Gaius," he started, not sure where to start or what to say.
"I know, sire," Gaius said, his age showing in his voice in a way it hadn't in years. "Remember that he did it for you, sire. Everything he ever did was for you."
Arthur was struck silent again, a terrible lump in his throat. He nodded, sensing he needed to do something. Gaius gave him a tiny nod in return before bowing and turning away, to return to his own chamber and mourn the loss of a young man that had become like a son to him.
Gwen led Arthur back to his chambers, ordered a meal and served it when it arrived. Arthur didn't even remember changing out of his armour, but he must have.
"It's not right," Arthur murmured, the first thing he'd said since watching Gaius walk away.
"No, it's not," Gwen replied softly. "But, I think he knew," she continued. "He must have known. You tried to stop him, and he was scared. Truly scared of the Doracha, in a way I've not seen him before. But he was determined to go anyway."
Arthur glared at the goblet in his hand. "It wasn't his place," he said a little more firmly. "It was mine. This is my kingdom. It's my responsibility to protect it."
Gwen smiled slightly at his nobility, then frowned. "And Merlin felt it was his responsibility to protect you. He always has."
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Him protect me?" he questioned, sarcastic as he threw back the last of the wine and set the goblet down roughly. It was only then he noticed it was the one Bayard had given him. The one that had nearly killed Merlin not long after the servant had entered his service. Merlin had protected him then, hadn't he? And at the feast shortly after they met. Now that he thought about it, the annoying young man had protected him on a number of occasions over the years.
Arthur's glare sharpened and he chucked the goblet across the room with a shout, shoving back from the table as he stood. Gwen, who had been standing next to him like a proper servant stepped back at the fury on his face. He saw her fear and softened.
"I'm sorry, Gwen," he muttered, "I just…" He locked his jaw, not daring to continue, knowing that if he did, it wouldn't be words that followed and he refused to cry in front of Guinevere. Somehow, she still seemed to know and reached out to take his hand.
"I know, Arthur," she said softly, her own voice thick with tears that she finally let fall, "I'll miss him too."
Gently he pulled her into his arms, letting her hide her tears in his chest as he hid his own in her soft, dark hair.