Well This Sucks... Chapter Seven
Summary: Selected superstars of the WWE are taken to school! This time it ain't kindergarten, but sixth grade! How will they cope with the evil seventh and eighth graders that are out to make their life a living hell?
Disclaimer: I own no one.. so please, don't sue me.
Pairing(s): Possible John/Lita
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So maybe he did point to the wrong girl.. What was the big deal? Chris Masters wouldn't be interested in dating Lita anyway. Or would he? John shook those thoughts out of his head, sighing as he and Hunter watched for their mother, who normally picked them up.
"Mom's late." Hunter stated as he glanced at his watch.
"Glad to see you can tell time." John muttered.
"Shut up," Hunter ordered as he rolled his eyes.
John glanced around, "I almost talked to Lita today."
"Good for you." Hunter replied before raising an eyebrow. "How did it go, then?"
"Not very well.. Chris Masters sort of went after the wrong girl when I asked him to distract. I didn't get to talk to her." John explained.
"Chris is a retard, why would you let him distract girls? You should have walked right up to them and asked if you could talk to Lita, dumbass." Hunter declared wisely.
"Well excuse me for not being the brightest crayon in the box." John snapped.
Hunter laughed, "Who told you that?"
"Ah, Bischoff did after I told him about the Lita thing." John informed him.
"Why'd you do that? Bitchoff isn't really good at the advice stuff." Hunted pointed out.
"I sort of tripped Masters after he left the auditorium.. Bischoff asked me why I tripped him… So I told him that he took my girlfriend." John explained.
"And what did he say?"
"He said, that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box and I'll never amount to anything, but losing a girlfriend to a seventh grader." John replied easily.
"Even when you're thirty?"
"Even when I'm thirty."
"Really? That's really low… You may be a retard, but damn.. Losing a girlfriend to a seventh grader when you're thirty is like.. Losing your virginity at forty." Hunter exclaimed.
"Do you have to make reference to the forty-year-old virgin now?" John asked in annoyance.
"Yes, I believe I do."
"Well please don't, makes me want to hang myself." John mumbled.
"Well in that case.. I thought the forty-year-old virgin was a very educational film, maybe even a documentary on what your life will be like when you are forty."
John glared at his brother, narrowing his eyes as Hunter laughed. The dark haired boy grabbed his backpack, leap up to his feet and smacked Hunter across the face with the backpack before he sat down again, looking straight forward as Hunter cried like a little baby. A maroon colored mini-van pulled up by the curb, the window rolled down and their mother leaned over to yell..
"GET YOUR ASSES IN THE CAR! I'M FUCKING LATE!"
Hunter blinked and wiped away some of his tears, "Since when does mom curse?"
"I don't know, but that's awesome!"
"COME ON! I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!" Their mom yelled.
John sprang up to his feet and dashed to the car, taking front seat, leaving Hunter with back. Their mom glared at Hunter, who had a black eye now and raised an eyebrow.
"You get into another fight with that fag boy... JBL, was it?" Their mom questioned.
"Actually, he did. Ya shoulda seen it mom, Hunter peed his pants!" John exclaimed.
"Goddamnit, Hunter! Now I hafta wash your clothes! There goes your McDonalds happy meal!" Their mom snapped.
"What? I didn't get into a fight! I didn't even pee my pants! John smacked me with his backpack!" Hunter sneered.
Their mom looked at John, John smirking before his mom grabbed his backpack, opening it before she searched through it.
"What the..." She mumbled as she pulled out a brick, then tossed it out the widow, the brick smashing a passing car's windshield.
"SHIT MOM!"
"Don't you curse!" She warned as she pulled out a chain, it took her a while to pull it out being that it was so long. "Why the hell is this in here?"
"I... I needed to lock my bike up?" John offered.
She shook her head, tossing the chair outside the window, though it hit a biker in the face and caused him to fly off his bike, the chain encircling his neck. John's jaw dropped as his mom continued to search through the backpack.
"John... Why do you have this in here?" She exclaimed as she glared at a stereo system.
"I... I need music for when I cut my raps!"
"Um, okay.." She muttered before tossing the stereo system out the window, this time it simply shattered across the road. Ten passing cars stopped for they seen the wreckage in the road and crashed into each other, causing one of the smallest pile-ups in the school's history.
"Mom!"
"WHAT!"
"You just killed people!"
"I did not! Shut up Hunter!"
She shook her head, this time chucking the entire backpack out the window. The backpack hit an old man in the face and knocked him out, the two boys stared at their mom, who only shrugged and started the van up. As she pulled out of her parking space she ran over the bikers bike and his helmet as well.
-x-
The next day John came to school without his backpack, though that wasn't a surprise to John nor Hunter, but Eric scolded him. For some reason Eric said that John always forgot his backpack.. Even if it was just the second day of school and they just met yesterday.. John ignored the man as he plopped down in one of the first chair he seen, the young man waiting for the last bell to ring as he stared at the carpet.
"Having fun?"
John jumped at the sudden sound of someone talking, the dark haired boy glaring over his shoulder to see the redhead sitting in the chair beside him, she smiled at him. He returned the smile, sitting up in his seat before he spoke.
"Why of course." John replied sarcastically.
"Cool, I hope we get to keep these seats." Lita stated.
"An' why is that?"
"Because I don't want to have to sit by Coach or Maria.." Lita replied, gesturing to the back of the room where the two were conducting a scientific experiment.
"What in the hell are they doin'?" John questioned.
"They're trying to make toast in a toaster..." Lita informed him.
"Oh my god, that.. That's impossible!" John exclaimed sarcastically, rolling his eyes at them. "They really are stupid.."
"Yeah.." Lita agreed, she then glared at him. "Where's your backpack?"
"My mom threw it out the window because I hit Hunter in the face with it." John admitted.
"Why did you do that?" Lita questioned quickly.
"He said I would be a forty year old virgin.." John replied, shaking his head as he got some sort of flashback of it.
"Oh," Lita started. "Well, if it makes you feel any better.. If you're still a virgin when you get to seventh grade, I will do it with you."
"Oh my god, really?" John asked quickly.
"Sure!" Lita responded with a smile.
John hugged her, "Oh my god, I love you!"
She laughed, Randy and Dave shaking their heads as they watched. Randy glared at Dave.
"If I'm a virgin still by seventh grade… do you think a girl will do that for me?" Randy asked.
"Probably not." Dave replied.
"What does John have that I don't?" Randy pouted. "I'm hotter than him."
"Okay.. I won't really argue about looks… I'm not gay." Dave stated.
"Bite me." Randy snapped.
"Why?" Dave inquired.
"I… I heard it on a movie." Randy mumbled.
"Oh, which movie?" Dave questioned.
"I.. I don't even remember." Randy replied sadly.
"Oh, okay." Dave muttered, shaking his head.
"You think I could ask Lita if she'd do that for me, too?" Randy blurted out, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't even bother asking.. John would beat you up." Dave stated.
Randy shrugged, "Like he hasn't beaten me up before?"
"Come to think of it.. He's beaten you up a lot." Dave reminded him.
"So, that's because I called him gay." Randy declared.
Dave ignored him, instead he watched Lita and John. The two were talking about what they would do when, or if, they were still virgins in seventh grade. Oddly enough, they knew a lot about the topic at hand. Though Dave shrugged it off as the bell rang, the two taking a seat at the table next to John and Lita. Eric sighed, yelling at the students to sit down so he could take attendance. Once that task was complete Eric cleared his throat and grabbed a box off the chair in the front of the room.
"Since you all have this class room the entire day… Mr. McMahon wanted me to give you a daily planner that you will keep in this room, except for when you take it home at the end of the day." Eric stated.
Everyone watched as he pulled out a stack of notebook like planners, the older man handing them out to the students, after that task was done Eric plopped down in his chair at the front of the room.
"What are we going to do today, Mr. Bischoff?" Maria asked.
"Do whatever, I'm not in the mood to teach." Eric replied, waving her off.
"Okay!" Maria exclaimed before her and Coach went back to their scientific experiment.
While the other kids took it upon themselves to talk, the two of them attempted to make toast. Undertaker started drawing another masterpiece while Rock and Jericho practiced for their rock concert that would be held tomorrow at the first school dance.
To Be Continued…