(A/N – Shwoo, Jack! It's hot up here in southwestern Pennsylvania! Thank goodness the heat's gonna crack for the next three or four days… and we've got a pool! Well, for all of you out there with no pool or means of relief from heat, you have my sympathy and an invitation to my pool party this summer! That is if I'd ever have one…)

Particle Man, Reviewers! Woot!

x) Kenny - i'm sorry to here about Kate1 Please let me know what's going on with her when you find out! It's cool about the update thingy, though, LoL. I just hope nothing's up! Well, I'm glad you liked the last chapter and hopefully you'll like this one, too! Thanks! Enjoy!

x) Lauren - OMG! There you are! I thought I had lost you! Can I ask one thing? Did Jack have anything to do with your absence? Was duck tape involved? LoL. I'm so happy to hear from you again! I've gone a long way since you last read my stories, so I hope you can catch up! LoL. Please enjoy what I've written, and thank you! -passes rum and Combos - Let's celebrate! Bring Mort! Haha!

x) Sentinel Sparrow - Hey! No problem; I'd be more than glad to help you with your hopping bunny idea! Just send me your ideas, plots, characters, whatever, ect in an email, and I'll write back! Promise! Wow, I'm all excited and bouncing now. Hehe. Email's on my author page. Thnkas for the review, too! Enjoy the chapter!

x) Norma Jean - If you want to see Lumiere, I need your email! LoL. It won't let me post links on the site, otherwise I could hand it to you right now. Sorry. But if you don't have an email, I'll think of something! Enjoy the chapter! Thank you!

.: And Triangle, Universe, Person, and Triangle (again) Man, too! LoL… :.

CLE – "First Date" by Blink-182

Well, life is a big thing of disclaimers for that new, young, hopeless writer who has a dream of rocking the fanfiction kingdom with their story. How it sucks to be a new, young, hopeless, writer with a dream.

I own everyone/ thing not PotC related except for me and my PotC-loving buddies! Hi Lindz and Stewie! You are so cool! So is Paige even though she's made up (sort of), and Holly and Robbie and all you other losers that I love! Yay!

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CHAPTER TWELVE: "It's a miracle!"

Lindsay's PoV -

"Well, I'll see you all soon, I guess," Erica said before picking up her bag and heading out the front door in her pajamas still. I sighed as I heard her pull out and go two houses over to her place.

"Ok, I'm in charge!" I shouted. "Stewie, you're second in command, and don't let anyone tell you different."

"Aye aye, sir!" she said, saluting me promptly.

"Alright, first matter of business," I said, walking up to Paige. "What time is Robbie getting here?"

"Um, I'm meeting him at the playground," she replied. "I didn't know the address or phone number for this place – or any place, really – so I agreed to meet him down by Tree de Little."

"Works," I said. "What time?"

"Around eleven."

"So we got two hours to get you ready and the rest of the time to get Jack spiffed up," I thought aloud. "Paige, come with me, and I'll have you looking just like Robbie's type of girl."

"Though that doesn't sound good," Stewie commented.

"Oh, shoosh," I said. "Go with Jack til Paige and I are done. But first lead him to the bathroom and show him around so he can take a shower. And don't use all the hot water, Jack!"

11:45 am -

"You look great," I said, stepping back to take a look at my wonderful work. She looked just how I had envisioned it. Yes, I know, hold the applause.

"You sure?" Paige asked, spinning around and checking herself out in the full-length mirror in my bedroom.

"Positive. If he's taking you to lunch and then to his place to hang out, a pair of blue jeans with this nice brown sweater is great. And I'll grab you my old brown boot shoes. They'll throw the whole look together."

"Great," she said, taking the purse on the bed and heading out the bedroom door. "I really like that you've put my hair up, too. It's been getting in the way lately."

"Maybe you should get it cut," I suggested as we went through the living room and into the kitchen. "That's what I did."

"Nah, I like it long," Paige said. "No tampering with my hair, no way."

"Ok," I laughed. "Stewie! Jack! I'm taking Paige down to the playground! Be back in a few minutes! Be ready to go to the Westmoreland Mall!"

I heard a few screams and I big splash and other noises, then Stewie's strained and troubled voice shouted, "Okay! We'll be – AH! – ready!"

Paige and I exchanged looks.

"You sure everything's ok?" Paige asked. "Jack was supposed to get the shower on his own! If you fell for he needed help finding the towels…"

"Just go! We're good! AH! Jack! Get that thing away from me! Gross!"

Paige and I exchanged looks once more before I grabbed my car keys and we rushed out the door.

Jessica's PoV – 5 min earlier -

I was sitting against the bathroom door incase Jack needed anything listening to the Christmas songs playing on the radio. I had a notion to go over and change it to The X, but nah. I'm too lazy. Plus, I like this song!

"Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul…" I mumbled along with the radio. I was half asleep. Ergh…

"Erm, lassie?" I heard Jack yell suddenly. I shot up, cracking the back of my head off the door. Ow…

"What?" I asked.

"Um… let's just say you may be experiencing a bit of that déjà vu again…"

I did not like the way he said that.

I stood up and leaned into the door listening. The shower wasn't on anymore, and I was curious about his comment.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Come and see!"

"No way! Are you decent?"

Psh… Look who I'm asking (I'm just kidding Jack! I didn't mean it!).

"Yes, Mary. Now would you please assist me in the removal of my foot from this damn toilet!"

My eyes grew wide and I opened the door slowly. Sure enough, Jack's foot is stuck in the toilet just like it was when we got locked in the school last summer. And he was dressed, thank God.

"Jack, you bloody idiot!" I yelled. "How did you manage this! Nevermind, I don't want to know…"

He was poking at his foot with the toilet bowl brush cleaning wand stick thing when I grabbed his leg and tried to tug on it and pull it out, but no good. Hmm… how did we get it out at the school again?

"Jack, foot out of the boot," I commanded.

He whipped it out, and I flung back into the wall gasping for clean air.

"Oh my god, Jack! I thought you –cough- washed that putrid thing!" I yelled.

"I did!"

"Eww… stick it in the bathtub and keep it there!" I said, pouring some bubble bath suds in the water. It didn't help much, though. I started tugging on the boot still stuck in the toilet.

"It's stuck!"

"No duh," Jack said sarcastically.

"I… wait. Did you just say duh?" I asked in amazement.

"Oh no... I did, didn't I?" Jack asked, making a face as if he were overly contaminated.

"Stewie! Jack!"

We jumped at Lindsay's voice, and I stumbled backwards into Jack, sending him off his balance dangerously.

"I'm taking Paige down to the playground! Be back in a few minutes! Be ready to go to the Westmoreland Mall!" Lindsay shouted.

"Jack, we're gonna-!"

SPLASH!

"Okay!" I yelled back, trying to stand up. "We'll be – AH! – ready! Jack, stop poking me with that disgusting toilet brush!" I whispered angrily.

"So get off!"

"I'm trying!" I said, choking on the bubble bath suds.

"You sure everything's ok?" Paige asked. "Jack was supposed to get the shower on his own! If you fell for he needed help finding the towels…"

I slipped and fell down on top of Jack in the bathtub again, and he (again) was swatting me with that toilet brush!

"Just go! We're good!" I shouted to Paige and Lindsay as Jack continued hitting me. Ooo… "AH! Jack! Get that thing away from me! Gross!"

10 min later -

Jack and I were in the kitchen. I changed into an outfit from Lindsay's oh-so-wonderful dresser, but as for Jack… well, that's what hair dryers are for. He was standing arms out and feet apart as I ran the blow dryer over his now semi-damp clothes. Then, Lindsay came through the living room, stopping with a big grin when she saw us.

"Oh, hello, Jane," Jack said. "Didn't hear ye come in."

"I bet you didn't," she sniggered, sitting down at the kitchen table. "What were you two doing in the bathroom?"

"Use your imagination," I joked. "Nothing. What do you think?"

"Well, it sounded kinky, I'll give you that much," Lindsay commented. "I don't think Miss Garrett will like it that Jack's got an affair going on when he's trying to win her over…"

"Shut up," I laughed. "We've gotta get him ready!"

"Ready?" Jack said. "For what?"

"Your date!" Lindsay shouted. "New clothes, flowers, but we'll leave the hair. It'll take forever to get it back to normal anyways. Plus, undoing all that would give you a fro."

"Fro?" Jack asked.

"Oh, come on. To the Westmoreland Mall!" I shouted.

"Again!" Lindsay added as we ran out the door tugging Jack behind us.

Lindsay's PoV – At Westmoreland Mall -

"First things first!" I said. "To Kaufman's, Sears, and other big fancy sophisticated department stores to find Jack a decent outfit!"

"Is Hot Topic included in that?" Stewie asked hopefully.

"Mmm… nah," I said. "Sadly, I don't think Miss Garrett is attracted to guys in trench coats and black make up. Though in Jack's case, the kohl is the exception. You're gonna have to wipe that off tonight, you know," I said to him.

"I am?" he asked. "No way! You aren't messin' with me kohl. It's a real pain to get off. I haven't takin' it off in years. And even if ye attempted, there'd still be black rings because it's been there so long!"

"Grr, just our luck," I said. "Well, she's learned to love ya with the kohl; maybe it's your little admirable feature that sends her into that wonderful mood."

"Huh?"

"Don't try to make sense of it, let's just go," Stewie said, pulling him along as we entered Sears.

"We need a relaxed dress up shirt," I said. "Something that gives him the freedom of flanky sleeves but looks nice."

"So nothing with buttons on the wrists apparently," Stewie pointed out. "How about just a thin dark red sweater to match his bandana?"

"Good thinkin', Stewart!" I said. "I'll go get that, and you find him a pair of black pants, not jeans. Something casual like a guy would wear to church."

"On it!" she said, taking Jack's wrist again. "Meet at the dressing room?"

"Yep."

Dressing Room – 1 hour later -

"All right! Come in!" Jack called out to us after he took forever in the dressing room. Jessica and I jumped up from our slumped position against the wall and crowded around the dressing room door. Jack opened the door and we walked inside.

"Jack, you look… normal!" Stewie said. "It's a miracle!"

"Well, he may look normal, but he needs to brush up on acting normal," I said. "Jack, you, me, and Stewie are going home and working brutally and aggressively on how to behave on a first date."

"First?" Stewie asked before lowering her voice to whisper and saying to me, "But he can't keep seeing this girl!"

"Oh, stop it," I said. "He can't just break up with her their first time going out. By the way, Jack, what did you have in mind tonight for you and Miss Garrett."

"Well, Isabelle said something about dinner, but personally, I-"

"No!" I shouted. "You never try anything on a girl on your first date! Especially an older-fashioned woman like Miss Garrett! She's no country bumpkin, but still, she's not totally into the whole thing today."

"So what do I do?" Jack asked, quite depressed that he couldn't make advances on Miss Garrett yet.

"Well, you take her to nice place to eat and pay," Stewie said. "Don't worry; I'll lend you some money."

"And then you take her to do something fun afterwards," I said.

Jack's eyes lit up and he opened his mouth to argue his point, but Stewie and I just stared him down until he rolled his eye and leaned against the mirror.

"Like bowling," Stewie said.

"Bowling?" I asked. "No… something like… Ooo! I know!"

"What?"

"You could take her to the Christmas Carnival down were the county fairgrounds are!" I said. "It's the first year they've ever had it, and it's bound to be really fun. Plus, it's snowing. That adds to the romance factor like, plus five points."

"Hey, that's a good idea!" Stewie said.

"Well, Jack?" I asked.

"What's a carnival?"

"Smaller, less violent version of Kennywood," I said with a smile. He smiled to in relief, remembering all those big roller coasters and rides from last summer that made him puek with his showdown with Liz. Haha…

"Aye, I'll do it," he said finally.

"Great!" I said. "Now remember, take her somewhere nice to eat that's not too busy but has nice atmosphere."

"That rules out any bars, pubs, taverns, or Hooters clubs," Stewie said.

"Somewhere like…" I paused. Lightbulb! "Somewhere like Eat 'n Park," I said slyly. Stewie gave me this look, but I smiled big at her.

"But that's-"

I glared at her, and she picked up.

"That's a… super idea!" Stewie said, smiling up at Jack now. "Eat 'n Park would be the perfect place!"

"But isn't that where Gracey makes her livin' at?" he asked.

"Minor detail," I said. "You won't even see her. As for the carnival, it closes at midnight, Cinderella. Your arm will be broken by then if you aren't in my grandma's living room by that time tonight."

"All right," Jack said. "Ye lassies are very strict people."

"Yeah, well, it's payback for you being strict with us in the Caribbean," Stewie said. "By the way, when can we bring Thomas here?"

"Yeah, I miss him," I said. "And I wanna attack Gibbs again, too."

Jack flashed his famous smile as we waltzed out of the dressing room. I went to follow, but Stewie grabbed me by the shoulders and spun her around to face her.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're sending Jack to Eat 'n Park!" she whispered in hysterics. "Erica's gonna kill us!"

"She'll get over it," I said. "Besides, we'll be there, too."

"Oh, come on," she said. "I'm not tagging along on Jack's date!" Then I smiled, and she caught on. "But you aren't thinking like that," she said. "You wanna spy on them."

"From a safe distance," I said. "Like, the seat right behind them."

Stewie laughed and then said, "Well, won't it look weird? Us sitting right there?"

"Not if Will, Liz, and Paige are there with us," I said. "We'll just be going out for dinner by sheer coincidence. After all, I only gave Jack a suggestion. Who said he was really going to be there?"

"Somehow, Lindz, I don't think you really know Jack," Stewie said, shaking her head with a smile and walking out of the dressing room.

Erica's PoV – 8:30 pm -

Oh my god, I need a new job.

I just had this five-year-old brat of a kid purposely spill her soup all over me and her brother was chucking his food at me! And now I had to borrow one of my co-workers aprons, and I have about five more families and/or couples to seat! You would've thought Cynthia (my rival waitress who's eighteen and a slut) would've taken the opportunity to suck up and look good to the manager, but no. She didn't take it (but she wrote the names down on the list) so I'd get in trouble. And that's where I am now.

In trouble. Again.

"Now make sure every guest is seated where they want, and since they had to endure such poor waiting service, each party is allowed a fresh pie form the bakery of their choice!"

"Yes, Mr. Darson," I said after unsuccessfully arguing my case. "Sorry. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," he said a bit more calmly. "I don't want to lose such a fine person on my staff because she decided to slack off."

"I won't, sir," I said with a tiny smile.

"That's good. Now get going."

I nodded as he went back to tending to the café bar. I sighed and rolled my eyes angrily thinking of how much I could enjoy strangling Cynthia.

I walked up to the podium with the list on it, and I saw the name of Arvin. I looked up, and there was Lindsay, Stewie, Will, Elizabeth, and Paige waving at me. I smiled.

"Boy I am glad to see you guys," I said.

"Really?" Lindsay asked. "What's going on?"

"Oh nothing," I said, grabbing some menus for them and led them to a long row of booths along the large windows. "Cynthia got me in trouble with the manager, and if she does it again, I'm probably going to be fired."

"Well, that's not right," Liz said. "Especially if none of it's your fault."

"It never is usually," I said. "But hey; story of my life. Okay, take your time, and I'll be back with your drinks since I already know what you want. Will, Liz, Paige, you get surprised."

They smiled, and I sighed, thankful at least my friends were here to take a load off me for a while. Then I returned to the podium to seat the next couple/ family before getting my friends their drinks. I got a bit scared when I saw the next name however. My smile faded, and I looked up.

"Evening, Gracey! Nice place ye got here!"

There was Jack with Miss Garrett. My mouth hung open.

"Lindsay's suggestion, right?" I asked.

"Her idea," he whispered with a nod.

I gripped the menus angrily in my hands before muttering lowly, "I'm gonna kill her…"

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Yee haw! That was one of the longer chapters so far! –bows-

I hope you liked it! As promised, not a month later as the last chapter, lol. I'm looking for work now at a pizza shop, preferably Domino's in town since our neighbors own it, lol. I hope I get it! And Jack, no sneaking pepperoni.

Please Review!