(Dude, I've been busy out my butt… but I say this every time I post, so… Anyhoo, still got lots to do aside from this story. My LotR still requires major work before I post it, another LotR I'd like to work on, the threequel to 'Yo ho, yo ho!' and 'I Love This Song!' is underway on paper, and I've got two HP and a Jurassic Park I'd eventually like to put up (Ha! Bet you didn't know I'm a huge dino-lover… I played with more dinosaurs in my youth than Barbies… so yes. I love dinosaurs. They fascinate me.). Well, seeing as there's still a ton to do, let's break out the ideas, Jack! Come on!)

Any of you Reviewers JP fans?

x) Sentinel Sparrow - Ya ho! LoL. Yeah, you may see the wenches in the future, but maybe a few other people... hint hint wink wink Anyhoo, thanks for the review and enjoy this oh-so-awesome chapter! It loves you! And I promise you'll live. You may die when you read the ending, however. LoL.

x) Norma Jean - Tell me you don't love Noah! LoL. Everbody Loves Noah! Haha. I' m glad you like it, me bucko! Tis more to come, however. Ze best cliffhanger will leave you so frustrated adn ready to kill me in a few chapters, LoL. Heads up! Thanks! Enjoy!

.: I love those movies! They kick-butt! Along with Back to the Future :.

CLE – "Twisted Logic" by Coldplay

Disclaimer…

Claimer…

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CHAPTER NINETEEN: "Hot glue gun!"

"Wow! The turkey looks great, Mom!" I heard Isabelle say from under that cramped little back porch. "Oh, and it smells so good. Look at the table, too, Jack. And we got wine, Dad."

"Good year, too," we heard Jack say.

I slapped my forehead. "Only you Jack…" I muttered.

"Shh!" Lindsay said as she pointed up to the house. We continued listening intently.

"How was you day, Mom?" Isabelle asked Mrs. Garrett. "Quiet?"

"Actually, we had a few carolers drop by just minutes ago," Mr. Garrett said with a chuckle. "A shame that you missed them… they were a nice bunch of kids."

"Oh really?" I heard Jack ask in this pleasant and calm tone (Don't let it fool you. I could picture the look on his face. It's the calm before the storm…).

"Oh yes. Had them in for some cookies and eggnog before they rushed down to the senior citizens' center to sing for them before they fell asleep," Mrs. Garrett added. "Such a thoughtful group, too."

"Well that's sounds nice," Isabelle said.

"Oh! Jack, one of the girls said that she knew you," Mrs. Garrett said with a laugh. We were still frozen with fear, especially after Jack laughed with her (It was a double meaning laugh. He is going to kill us!).

"Really?" he said. "Did ye happen to catch her name?"

"Um… oh, no I didn't. Paul, did you happen to hear any of their names?"

"No. No, I don't remember hearing them say them."

We would've sighed in relief, but Jack still knew it was us. So, you figure we're doomed. We could've run away and had the advantage since this is our world, but that's not exactly what I'm here for.

"Well that's just too bad," Jack said sarcastically. "Say, ye mind if I step outside a moment?"

"No, go right ahead," Mrs. Garrett, said. "But hurry back in! We don't want this turkey to get cold."

"Want me to come?" Isabelle asked Jack.

"No, darlin', I'll be just fine," Jack said. "Be right back."

"Go, go, go!" Will whispered urgently as pushed us and we turned to scramble and slide down the bank underneath the porch. But as luck would have it, Lindsay and Paige slipped in the front and sent us all falling on top of them in the cold snow. We sat up, still trying to make a getaway around the side of the house, but we froze when we saw Jack standing there with the most deadly glare in his eyes.

It was a moment of that silence. The silence where no words could sum up the entire conversation and make you wish that he's just yell at us because he's making us feel so guilty. This silence lasted a good forty-five seconds.

"Jack-"

"Leave," he said dangerously in a low tone, cutting Paige off. His eyes were piercing us to the point where I couldn't move, but I knew we should for our own good. So we got to our feet finally, still feeling like scum of the Earth thanks to Jack's remarkable skills at making you feel that way with just one word and the look in his eyes, and we walked to the corner in silence to wait for the bus again.

It was the same bus that pulled up, and Noah was still in there. He started flipping out when he saw us. "No way!" he yelled, shutting the bus doors. "You can wait for the next bus!"

Liz shoved her foot in between the doors before he could shut them all the way and glared at him until he opened the doors fully for us.

"Are you threatening me?" he asked in a little voice.

"No, just take us back to South Connellsville," I said quietly as we boarded the bus. "We come in peace."

He let us on, staring at us in confusion as to why we wouldn't even make an attempt at torturing his pathetic soul. He didn't even start driving right away when we sat down in the first few seats again; he turned around and looked at us.

"What's got your pants all up in a bunch?" he asked. "Aren't you gonna sing or eat or make fun of me at all?"

"No," Lindsay said, staring at the aisle floor. "We don't feel like it."

Confused as ever, Noah turned around catching a good dose of our bumness and started up the street. I looked up at the light blue and white house and saw them starting to eat in the window as we flew by, Jack laughing and rousing his hosts.

Maybe Jack was right. This is his choice; I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to. Maybe he really has changed. But going off and marrying Isabelle after less than a week of knowing her? Marrying her the day after tomorrow? I can't have this happen. Lindsay and the others are right. We have to snap him out of this. Bring him back to his senses, even though his right mind isn't entirely right all the time. But if he won't listen to us, who's he gonna listen to? Maybe Stewie's got something going with the wenches slapping him. It's worth a shot, I suppose. But can we really hide them all day tomorrow?

"Hey, Lindsay, " I said. She turned her head and looked at me indifferently. "You have the ruby?"

"No, Stewie does," she said. "Why?"

"Hey Stewart!" She looked at me. "You have the ruby?"

"Yes."

"Good, cuz we're using it tomorrow night."

- Lindsay's Dad's – 12:30 am -

All the lights were out except the television flickering on the living room walls where the six of us had been since coming back home about six hours ago. We made turkey and cheese sandwiches for our dinner and ate in silence as we watched South Park. The people from the police department came and returned Lindsay's Dad's van to us and my Sunfire about an hour later.

Right now, Paige and Lindsay were asleep on the loveseat, and Stewie, Will, Liz, and I were piled on the couch. Will was my pillow as I lay there watching the Andy Milonakis Show begin, though my mind was miles from here thinking about Jack and Isabelle and what we were gonna do to stop the madness. Stewie was half-asleep on top of me trying to find a comfy spot, but no good. Will was in this trance similar to mine while Liz was out.

I repositioned my head on Will, and he looked down at me. "Restless comes sleep tonight to us both, I'm afraid," he said quietly to me. "I can't seem to catch a passing thought to occupy my mind."

"Me neither," I said sleepily with my eyes hurting like crazy.

Suddenly, we heard footsteps outside. Stewie, Will, and I all looked over to the door, and it opened. Jack came inside brushing off his shoulders and shaking the snow out of his hair. I just looked at him until he noticed us. It was another awkward silence.

"I don't want to hear a word," he said.

"Jack, grow up!" I yelled. "We're only concerned! That's the only reason we were there!" I lied.

"Be concerned from a distance then," he replied shortly, walking in front of the television and into the kitchen. I looked in that direction angrily before laying my head back down on Will pouting a bit. I can't stand it when people are mad with me.

"Calm down," Will said. "He's just stung a little is all."

"Yeah, but he's being a jerk," Stewie added.

After a minute, Jack came back inside the living room, and we looked at him. "I've got reasons to mad with ye, but I'm not holdin' it against anyone if ye promise to leave us some privacy from now on, savvy?"

I nodded with Stewie.

"Good," he said. "Now, I need ye to do something for me."

"What?" Stewie asked.

"I need ye to round up some lads for the weddin'. There's going to be five of ye as the bridesmaids: Isabelle's best friend Marietta being the Maid of Honor, and ye four as the other maids. Will's gonna be me best man, so ye four each need to bring someone."

"Anyone we want?" Jess asked quickly. "Like Thomas?"

Jack hesitated a moment before answering her. "I'd prefer ye not unless ye absolutely have to," he said. "The ruby shrinks with each usin', remember."

"Oh yeah, that's right," I said, just thinking of that with the whole 'bring-the-wenches-here' plot we were gonna try to pull.

"Aye," Jack said, nodding. "Well, I'm headin' upstairs for the night. I suggest ye get some sleep yerself since ye'll be at the fire hall thing most of the day tomorrow. Night."

"Crap, we gotta go do that, too," I said, laying my head back against Will as we heard Jack going upstairs in the background since we're obviously not cool enough for him to be around. "Oh, and Stewie, you're a genius by the way."

"Thanks," she laughed. "But why?"

"We can use going to get Thomas as an excuse for why we're going to the Caribbean tomorrow night," I said. "We can actually get him, too, if we can find him. We'll only have a little bit of time to do all this, so it's gonna be crazy."

"Crazy is our specialty," Stewie said as she closed her eyes and rested her head on my hip contently with a smile. "We'll be fine."

I looked up at Will. "You think so?"

"Most definitely."

"Heh… you know, I just thought of something," I said, talking to neither of them in particular. "Could you just picture the look on Thomas's face when we tell him why we're there? Or Ana or Gibbs if we ran into them, too, for that matter…"

While I went off laughing to myself, I felt Stewie's head shoot up off of my hip, and she stared at my with these huge eyes and a tiny smile.

"What?" I laughed as Will and I looked at her. She just pointed at me.

"You," she said softly, shaking her finger, "are the genius." Then she laughed a bit.

"Huh?"

- Lindsay's PoV – 7:45 am -

"So you're trying to tell me that you wanna bring back Thomas, Gibbs, and Ana?" I asked as we drove to the fire hall in Erica's car. I took another bite of my on-the-go bagel I made and shook my head. "Jack's not gonna go for that. Especially the Ana part."

"Exactly," Erica said, leaning forward a bit. "That's the whole idea! She'll knock better sense into him than those Scarlett and Giselle girls."

"Plus, she slapped him the hardest in the movie," Stewie laughed.

True.

"Though it is a low-down dirty trick just as bad as something Jack would pull, it seems to be the only thing we can do," Elizabeth said. "And it sounds like it will work."

"It will," Paige said reassuringly. "Ana's gonna blow a head gasket."

"And do you know why?" Erica asked, looking up at me.

"Why?" I asked, mocking her.

"Because she's gonna be in a jealous rage!"

"Oh yeah," I said. "I just hope we can find them. There's no telling where that stupid ruby's gonna land us next. It's usually in trouble."

It was a silence where I could tell they were all thinking about that as we pulled into the snowy and slushy parking lot of the fire hall. Erica shut the car off, and the six of us emerged clutching our coats or hoodies closer to us since it was really blustery out. I almost killed myself slipping on the icy stairs, but it was warm and heated inside.

We threw all of our things off (no, we weren't nudists, you gutter-minded freaks! Gosh!) in the stairway, and then we walked into the big spacious room gawking at all the decorations put up so far. There weren't many, but Isabelle was inside with about three other people rearranging the tables. Then she spotted us.

"Oh, hi, girls! Hi, Will," she said, making her way towards us.

"Hi," we all said simultaneously. "You're already decorating this early?" I asked.

"Yeah," Isabelle said. "I've been here with my older brother Clarke and our cousins Grant and Andrew since five this morning rearranging the hall, making a thousand phone calls for caterers, bartenders, florists, the dressmaker… oh, there's a thousand things to do today. And don't forget that I'm taking you for your gown fittings this afternoon. You'll love them."

"Cool," I said. "What color are they?"

"I'm going with the red and white theme obviously," Isabelle said a bit quietly. "They'll be red and glittery, and you'll be wearing poinsettias in your hair. Those are gonna be my flowers, too. It will have a touch of holiday spirit to it, you might say."

"Awesome," Erica said. "So, where do we start?"

"Well, Will, if you could help the guys over there, that'd be a great help," Isabelle said, pointing to the three guys now getting some ladders set up. "And I could use two of you to string the poinsettias when they get here in an hour."

"Ooo! Grace and I've got this one," Paige said. "Liz, you wanna help?"

"I guess," she said, walking over behind us.

"I guess that leaves you two to set up the food table when the caterers arrive around noon," Isabelle said to Stewie and me. "Til then, you can start setting up the wicker arch in the doorway and string the white lights through it, okay?"

"Gotcha," Erica said. "S'ko peeps. Move out!"

- 1 pm -

The lights in the arch looked great, and when the florists got there around ten-ish, we started fastening the poinsettias to it, and then we scattered thin layers of cotton around it and sprinkled glitter in it to look like snow. It looked so – cool. This big bouquet was hung from the center of the ceiling with lights strung throughout it, too, and Erica, Liz, and Paige, had done these stands of poinsettia garland, lights, and ribbon, leading from it. It looked really awesome.

Isabelle had gotten one of those chocolate fountains from the caterers, and Stewie and I were having trouble controlling ourselves, haha. It was very addictive. Isabelle was in and out during the morning, the guys also hung mistletoe in various places just for the fun of it, and the tables were nearing their end in decoration. We were finishing our lunches now, and making awesome wedding favors at the one table – champagne glasses filled with champagne-looking candle wax. Pretty, eh?

"Hot glue gun!" I said, grabbing it out from in front of Erica.

"Sheeze! Watch it!" she said.

"Well, I gotta glue the little fake flower on the glass stem!" I said, laughing.

"OW! My leg!" Erica screamed, jumping up.

"I'm sorry!" I said, not helping but laughing at the big glue spot on her leg.

"Ooo, Lindsay Arvin, I'm gonna-!"

"Sit down," Paige said, sliding the chair under her. Erica scowled at me, but I still laughed. She continued pouring the hot liquid wax in the champagne glasses.

"Just about how many of these do we need to make?" Stewie asked.

"About a hundred and seventy-five," Paige said. "I think that's what Isabelle said, anyways."

"A hundred and eighty-five," we heard Isabelle's voice say as she approached from behind.

"Hey! You're back," Erica said.

"Yeah. How far along are you guys?"

"Fourteen," I laughed.

"Not much progress, but we've only been at it a half hour," Liz said.

"Well, it's fine," Isabelle, said. "Just try to get them done in time for the dressmaker's appointment at three. I'm gonna run home and get the van so we have more room when we go."

"Okay," Erica said.

After I heard Isabelle leave, Erica got up and went back to the bathroom with the excuse of getting the glue off of her pant leg. She was still mad about the whole thing and I knew it, whether she likes to admit it or not. Stewie and Paige looked over at me, and so did Liz eventually. I sighed, looking back at the bathroom.

"Are we really gonna go through with this?" Paige asked quietly. "Grace doesn't seem like she's handling this all that well."

"She can handle anything with us around," I said. "Don't worry. It'll all work out. We just grab Ana, Thomas, and other people tonight, and…"

I trailed off, not having a real plan after that. Improv usually works for us, but this is a wedding. A very false wedding.

Bless us, Gods of Improvisation…

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Oh, Jack… you see what you put me through!

Sorry for the long wait, but we're working in bulk at the moment. Well, trying to anyways. I've been really sick, too, so I haven't gottan that much done as I would've hoped. Please be patient. I will update soon as possible.

Please Review!