Embracing His True Self
Chapter 79
Harry stalked through Hogwarts, mirror following closely behind him as he waited on Sirius and Remus answering his call. In his hands he had the map, which had long ago been returned to him after their mission to capture Dumbledore. It was precious to him, and so it was no surprise that the Dark Lord ensured it was swiftly returned. Speaking of Voldemort, he was following closely, but not close enough to be captured on the mirror call. He did not want to endure Black and Lupin again so soon.
"Harry! Sorry, we just got in, how did it go?" Sirius asked, his tone and face going sombre just seeing the look on Harry's face. "Okay…what happened?" any happiness he'd had evaporating at the face of his godson in such a way.
"He's been found guilty," Harry explained, "He…uh…he also explained why he was doing what he was doing…specifically to me." They deserved to know before the damn newspapers told them.
"Okay, let me guess…the prophecy?" Sirius asked sarcastically, shaking his head, "Bloody stupid old fool."
"Oh, you're so wrong, it would be laughable if it wasn't so…sickening," Harry sighed, he truly didn't want to have to go through all this all over again.
"Why are you at Hogwarts? Are you safe?" Remus asked, the one to notice Hogwarts going by in the background.
"Fawkes was caged, by Dumbledore, I'm going to go get him, before the Aurors do," the unthinkable and free him…just in case he was forced loyal to Dumbledore for Merlin's sake, the last thing they needed was Fawkes getting him out. No, Fawkes wouldn't be freed until they knew for certain he wasn't being controlled.
"He did something like that to a phoenix?" Remus gasped, horrified by what he was hearing. Such a pure and majestic creature being treated abysmally was just so wrong.
"He did," Harry agreed, stalking along at a swift pace.
"Forget that, tell me what happened, something's happened, Harry you're…deeply disturbed by what happened…" Sirius said, able to read his godson better than ever these days.
"I knew we shouldn't have left again," Remus said mutinously, feeling as if they had let Harry down once more. Despite the fact it was Harry convincing them that had them leaving in the first place. Harry hadn't wanted them to have their holiday tarnished by Dumbledore…and them being there wouldn't change the verdict. All quite correct…but Harry was obviously not handling it well.
"Didn't you…ever wonder why my parents got together?" Harry asked, climbing up more stairs, not meeting their eyes.
"Why would we?" Sirius chuckled, "James was mad on Lily from the very moment he met her…" they'd been eleven-years-old it hadn't been that kind of love of course, but over time it had become that.
"Yeah…but was Lily mad on James?" Harry retorted seriously, glancing at them as he finally rounded the hallway, closer now to Dumbledore's old office.
"Of course she was! Harry…what is this?" Sirius bit out defensively, what the hell was Harry implying, "Your father would never do anything to hurt anyone…" especially not Lily.
"Harry?" Remus asked softly, "What's going on?"
"I really want you to think about it, did my parents go from one being able to barely tolerate the other to both of them being completely smitten?" Harry snapped, finding himself at his wits end with everything.
Remus and Sirius glanced at each other, eyes reflecting shock at Harry's demeanour. Identical frown began to emerge from their faces, as they thought long and hard on what Harry had asked of them. Becoming alarmed by their own memories of…those years. "Okay…it might have happened a little fast," Remus said, "But James was smitten…Lily just gave in when James stopped bullying people…"
"Want to bet the bullying stopped after they got together?" Harry called out to them, as he ran up the stairs and grasping hold of the lion handle and opening Dumbledore's old office.
"Um…" Remus murmured, "Actually…you might…might be right,"
"Harry…what is all this in aid off?" Sirius demanded defensively.
"Potions, Dumbledore forced James and Lily together…same with Molly and Arthur I'll bet and the Bones' and the Longbottom's…all in aid of creating the perfect magical child and worse…trying to enforce it to fit a damn prophecy that had been created years before and not in the Hogshead where it was 'overheard' so to say."
Sirius scoffed, "What?" disbelief coating his voice, "Come on, I mean why the hell would he force anyone to be together? To what end?"
"To create a new hero," Harry snapped, "Then take over that 'hero's' body…my body," flushing an ugly red colour, hating that Sirius and Remus weren't believing him…then again, if someone had told him…he quite honestly wouldn't have been able to digest it.
Remus' and Sirius' mouth hung open unattractively, gaping.
"Look I just…wanted to let you know before you hear about it in the newspaper… which it will be out in the next few hours…another 'special edition'…" Harry sighed, it would take longer for Sirius' and Remus' copy to reach them, but only by a few hours. "I have to go…deactivate!"
"Should have had them checked for damn tampering," Harry grumbled, as he and Voldemort moved in sync to find the opening in the Headmaster's office. "Do you recall ever seeing an opening to another room here?" he asked the portraits.
They simply all shook their heads, while many pretended to watch them through half-lidded eyes feigning sleep. Phineas Black wasn't there, which was unfortunate, sighing softly, they filled the room with smoke, trying to see if the smoke billowed in a certain direction.
The mirror buzzed, letting Harry know he was wanted, but he cast a silencing spell on it, and set it aside. He didn't want to listen to Remus and Sirius' apologies, he understood it would be difficult to comprehend all they knew was a falsehood. He was still fucking pissed off himself, and he wasn't anywhere near as emotionally invested at Black and Lupin were in James and Lily and the others…they'd all watch fall in love and have kids and shit.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" Voldemort asked curiously, at the mirror glowed blue again, indicating that Black was still trying to get through.
"No," Harry said, scrubbing his face tiredly, "I just want to grab Fawkes and get out of here…before the Aurors come and we're arrested for breaking and entering….if he's even still alive…" unless there was a House-elf feeding Fawkes the chances are the phoenix could be dead.
Voldemort made a small non-committal noise, wondering at the emotions he could feel. Was that resentment? For what? The fact they didn't automatically believe him? Or was there something much deeper at work here? Just because he could sense his emotions…didn't mean he could pinpoint them or what was causing them ultimately.
For the next twenty minutes, both remained silent, as they continued blowing smoke out of their wands, and casting magical detecting charms – unproductively – there was way too much magic around Hogwarts for anything to be detected…it was quite frankly one of the best places one could actually hide something without it being found.
"Here," Voldemort stated, watching as smoke disappeared at the side of the staircase, hidden from sight.
"No wonder the portraits don't know anything," Harry said moving forward, glancing around… realization dawning, "There's no way to be seen…it looks like he's just out of sight…"
"Now…the obvious or magic?" Voldemort pondered, already beginning to move books, as if to see if it unlocked any mechanism.
Harry watched him move, they both couldn't exactly fit in the slot, not and be able to move comfortably at any rate.
"This one's different…why would a first year Runes book be in amongst quite a collection?" Voldemort murmured to himself, narrowing in on the book, using his finger he moved it, and with a click the mechanism moved, and the doorway opened, revealing the concealed opening. "Be careful," he pressed against Harry's chest, preventing him from getting inside.
"Suspect booby traps?" Harry asked freezing, of course, just because nobody knew…didn't mean Dumbledore wouldn't take the necessary precautions.
"Definitely," Voldemort replied, already waving his magic out, testing the room, "Keyed into anyone not his blood,"
"Summoning charm or do you want to deactivate it? Bearing in mind…you know, someone might know where're here already." Harry pointed out.
"The map will alert us to anyone happening upon us," Voldemort said dryly, eyeing the inside, the desire to see the inside of Dumbledore's sanctum strong. He'd been disappointed if it was just the bird, but not overly so. Dumbledore was much too cautious to leave things lying, especially all in the one place.
"I'll keep an eye out, you go ahead and do your thing," Harry commented, ignoring the mirror as he gazed at the map, watching for any sign of activity, unsurprisingly there were none. The teachers were all in the staff room, Harry observed, no doubt gossiping over the latest results of the trial. Half declaring they knew Dumbledore was like that the rest no doubt grieving over their loss.
Voldemort arched a brow surprised by Harry's easy bow out. Then again, he had never taken well to dismantling those kind of traps. He could point them out within seconds, but he had trouble getting them dismantled. He always tried using raw magic, but it didn't work well, Voldemort had cautioned him against it, it was the one thing magic didn't react well to. No, unfortunately, it required extensive knowledge, of which he did indeed have. Harry still had a lot to learn regarding that magic…and while it would be a good learning point today…neither were in the mood. They just wanted to get this done and get the hell out of there. He knew where his weaknesses lay and was gracious with them, not that Voldemort considered it a weakness, someone was just better than him.
"There's seven in total," Voldemort explained as he worked when he wasn't muttering Latin to courter the traps. "Three of them I barely remember, these are well done."
"Are they all capable of being defunct?" Harry questioned, his voice muffled as he looked around a little more.
"Yes, definitely," Voldemort declared, "Shouldn't take me longer than five minutes, anything?"
"They're all still in the staff room, kind of late to be there…but I'm not overly surprised they're waiting for word and no doubt gossiping about it." Harry said with a distasteful air, as he appeared beside Voldemort again, having done his rounds. "Those spells, it's a good job nobody else found them…" they worked a bit like Gringotts traps. Whoever stepped foot in here would have ended up being swallowed by the ground, no doubt in a sound proof room and left to starve to death. The Aurors would have been aright though…they worked in teams for a reason.
"Who's to say nobody has?" Voldemort said amused, glancing at the floor with a thoughtful look on his face.
"You honestly think we're going to find a few bodies down there?" Harry asked sniggering in amusement, as he shook his head wryly. The stink alone would have completely overwhelmed them, then again…magic.
"Frankly? Nothing would surprise me…not when it comes to Dumbledore," Voldemort said just as dryly. He was still trying to store the new information he'd gleaned about the old fool. He'd always known he wasn't the grandfatherly wizard he portrayed to the world, always knew he wasn't as light as he wanted the world to think…but quite honestly…he never for a second, thought Dumbledore himself had a horcrux.
"Yeah, I get it," Harry murmured, pensively, he just wanted to go to bed, wrap himself in Tom's arms and just sleep. The calming draught he had earlier was wearing off, it just added to the exhaustion that today had been.
"Last one," Voldemort murmured, deactivating it from the front of the room, not daring to go further inside until all of them were taken care of.
"Humm…that's them beginning to leave, they're spreading out," Harry explained, noticing movement on the Marauders map. "And the Aurors are at the train station," which wasn't all that far from the school, "I don't think they'll be using the coaches so we have more than enough time…" and they had the cloak, so they wouldn't be seen.
"Shouldn't take longer than two minutes," Voldemort retorted, before relaxing, standing up, he dismantled the last one, there, done. Just to be on the safe side, he cast a wider net, and found magical items inside, but no traps, no danger to them. To be 100% he flung a few books into the room, and nothing happened, no hidden traps, no sensors. "We're clear," stepping in, he strode confidently into the small space, which turned into a massive space.
"Bloody hell," Harry muttered, gaping as he too made his way inside. "Well, we no longer have to wonder where the Philosopher stone is…" absently picking up the cloudy ruby coloured stone, even the feel of it was familiar. "This…is where he kept all his stuff, everything even his potions," noticing spoiled ones still in the cauldron all disgusting and smelly.
"Which means we may find his Horcrux here," Voldemort vividly reminded Harry, gazing around taking everything in. "It will have to die with him," and there were only a few ways in which Horcruxes could be destroyed as he knew.
"Wait, you really think he'd keep it here?" Harry asked thoughtfully, eyes darting around, suspicious of every single little trinket, he wouldn't put it past him to have had it sitting in plain view on his desk for years. "I can see it, him totally keeping it close by, for years, something that was always on the Headmaster's desk while he was there…." Looking around, trying to find anything.
"Like a sneakoscope?" levitating a gold, rather expensive looking one that for once wasn't whirling around.
"I actually…yes, I remember that, it always moved around when I was there, it was rather annoying…Ronald Weasley gave me one in third year, just a cheap one, ignored that one too," Harry said, cocking his head to the side, a small thrill catching his attention, distracting him. "Fawkes!"
A small sad sound came again, Harry moved closer to the direction he heard it in, until he came across a curtain. Yanking it back, he grimaced at the state of the poor thing, it's feathers were all but gone, he'd been plucking itself out of sheer boredom or betrayal.
Fawkes made a high pitched sound, eyes closed as if the sight of light was hurting him. Harry grimaced in silent apology, dimming the lights a little, not wishing to put the cover back over him, observing everything.
There was food and water, just small amounts, he could feel the magic in the bowls. "I'm so sorry, Fawkes, you don't deserve this…but I can't let you go just yet…" he truly couldn't, he couldn't risk Dumbledore getting his hands on the phoenix. "Until Dumbledore is gone…you have to stay in there." Stroking the poor birds body, it was freezing in here, even with the cover…he could feel how cold the bird was without feathers. "You silly little thing," it was his fault, Dumbledore had taken umbrage over the fact Fawkes had helped him, and not left him immediately with just the sword…a sad sound left its mouth again as it leaned against him, letting him touch him.
"The Sneakoscope…definitely a horcrux," Voldemort stated just loud enough for Harry to hear without startling either him or the bare ass bird that looked more like a chicken than he'd ever expected it to.
"How lucky did we get then?" Harry said wryly, "Do we leave it and allow the Ministry to deal with it or do we?"
"You've already made a decision," Voldemort stated wryly, "So why ask?" honestly, when had he grown complacent when it came to Harry? That he'd let him away with the amount of things he got away with? Oh, yes, he rather liked having an equal, for the most part.
"We can't risk someone in the Ministry knowing what Dumbledore is and not caring…" Harry sighed, "Let's get out of here then…they're just at the gates now." folding up his map, setting it aside, he unhooked the cage from the wall, and slowly and carefully made his way to the centre of the room.
"There are a lot of very rare books here…" Voldemort looked at them longingly.
"Then take everything, I doubt they'll find the room anyway," Harry shrugged indifferently, "We'll need to make sure there's nothing that will surprise us if we touch them…"
"Agreed," Voldemort replied, and with two flicks of his wand, a box was transfigured and everything in the room, including the stone, zoomed off right into the box with the exception of Fawkes of course. "Let's go,"
And with that Voldemort and Harry as well as Fawkes left the secret room, and made their way quickly down the stairs taking alternative routes to avoid anyone. It was shockingly easy to get in and out of Hogwarts undetected, something must be done about that.
Fifteen minutes later, they succeeded in leaving Hogwarts…and since the secret room wasn't on the map…they wouldn't know if they succeed in actually entering it. As soon as they passed the wards, Voldemort Apparated them both to the only home either have truly known besides Hogwarts herself, naturally.
"Dinner? Or shall we go and get some rest until at least the pensive memory comes?" Voldemort questioned, as they strode towards the building with grim determination.
Stifling a yawn, "I'm starving but tired…" he admitted, he wanted to do both, and quite frankly he feared that if he tried to eat he would just end up falling asleep with food in his mouth.
"Amita? Bring us something quick but filling, we will have it in bed," Voldemort ordered the surprised house-elf. He didn't normally allow any food to be consumed in his room, but he'd make an exception for Harry. She popped away, she'd have at least ten minutes to have something prepared before they got there.
"Do you know what Phoenix's like in particular?" Harry asked, shoulders hunched in exhaustion, both physical and mental.
Voldemort eyed the calm but shivering bird, he'd never really cared for it, mostly admittedly, because it was Dumbledore's familiar. Phoenix's though, were extremely rare, faithful to a fault and magical creatures…and could earn you a fortune. "Considering what it's been getting…perhaps some fresh fruit? Nuts? Perhaps even a few pieces of cold meat and some proper water?" the few seeds and squirt of water was just ridiculous…it was almost as if Dumbledore was attempting to torture the bird.
"Same as Hedwig then," Harry murmured, yawning tiredly, blinking rapidly, yeah, he didn't think he'd be eating anything. It wasn't even all that late either, but he just felt as if he had been awake for a week. "Just a few more minutes," he reassured Fawkes, "Imagine torturing a bloody defenceless animal because he helped me stay alive."
"Ironic isn't it?" Voldemort stated, as they continued their walk towards the manor, "You take more offence of animals being hurt than humans."
"Humans are the real evil…" Harry said, curling his lip, "Most of them anyway," he conceded with a tired shrug. Humans both wizards and Muggles…they were all the same, and he just wanted to be away from everything for a while, maybe just be on his own with Voldemort in the sun somewhere…not going to happen, he knew, life was going to be on the fast track for a while now.
Voldemort arched a brow, pondering on how long it would take Harry to come out of this particular funk. He was clearly more affected by what Dumbledore had been planning than anything else so far. He'd seen Harry react to all things, anger, rage, depression, sadness, hurt, from learning about the Horcrux he was, to the hurt he felt leaving Hogwarts for good. Yet he'd never seen this kind of reaction.
Once inside, "Go ahead, I'll be up in a bit," Voldemort ordered Harry to go to their room.
Harry nodded, not even attempting to give Tom a smile before he padded up the stairs, all that could be heard was intermitted yawning.
Turning swiftly , Voldemort made his way to his downstairs office, demanding Severus' presence as he moved.
"Is it normal?" Voldemort asked bluntly, there was only one person who knew Harry better than him after all.
Severus didn't pretend not to know why they were having this conversation, "After confrontations with you? Yes, very much so, which usually did bring him into direct contact with Dumbledore as well…but I doubt he was the cause of Harry's state."
Voldemort pursed his lips, "What helps?" he bit out grudgingly, he definitely didn't want to have to endure a damn depressed partner for weeks if not months. He'd rather kickstart whatever was getting to him and get his partner back to the way he was.
"I wouldn't know," Severus stated honestly, lips curling but there was no hint of sneering in his voice as he spoke, "He was normally sent back to the Dursley's to be further abused…all to test his mettle it seems." Nostrils flaring furiously, how he wanted to wrap his hands around Dumbledore's neck and choke the life out of him.
Voldemort wasn't impressed with the lack of answers, irritation flashing through him.
"I would suggest space if he needs it, let him sort out his feelings, get them out, whether its anger and rage or let him grieve…he may not have cared much for his parents who he didn't know overly well, but knowing they were manipulated to create him, to have a body…it's bound to cause some sort of internal conflict." Severus suggested, "I honestly cannot say what he might need, My Lord, Harry might not know what he needs either."
Voldemort nodded curtly, well aware of the fact that his partner often didn't know what to do with the emotions he experienced. Oftentimes deciding to bury them and forget about them until they were insignificant.
Narrowing his eyes in annoyance, he cast out "Fiendfyre!" bitterly, only allowing it to work for a few moments before he retracted it. It was a testament to his powers that there wasn't even a scorch mark on the table. Just a burnt out husk of a sneakoscope and melted gold.
"Was that…" Severus asked dazedly, they'd found it so soon?
"It was," Voldemort assured him, "One less thing to worry about."
"You found it already…" shaking off his daze utterly amazed.
"Indeed," Voldemort allowed the smugness he felt show through, he was entitled to it surely? Not only had he managed to get himself a Philosopher stone – should Harry continue aging – but he'd also managed to collect Dumbledore's Horcrux without meaning to.
"I assume the Phoenix didn't survive?" Severus asked, saddened by that.
"You shouldn't assume, the bird is up in what I hope is Harry's spare room and not our bedchambers," Voldemort admitted lazily. He did not like any animal that wasn't his or Harry's snakes in his bedchambers, even then that was pushing it.
"I see," Severus gave a nod of understanding but made no move to converse further.
"Very well, you may go," irritated but unsurprised that there was no answer to his fruitless search. In the past he had not cared one whit about his bed partners or their emotions….most of the time his care for Harry was a major inconvenience…but then he saw the progress they'd made and realized it was for the better. He waited until Severus was nearly at the door before adding, "Do tell Rabastan he doesn't need to continue sneaking out in the morning." Just for the fun of it.
A/N – Yeah, doesn't look like I'm going to get a break from writing this any time soon. *Sigh* I tried…didn't work, the second I got up I was thinking of potential plots, didn't even leave me alone when I was walking the dogs! Ugh! I've put in a few applications for some jobs, keep your fingers crossed! Homelessness isn't something I aspire for! Just kidding of course :)
Soooo I thought you could all use a bit more light-hearted chapter after all the reveals of the trials 😊 and a bit of good news too for the story if nothing else! I'm beginning to suspect it might go up to the 100 chapters I fear! Especially with the new ideas I've got…but I doubt it would go farther than that thankfully! Would you be alright with that? At this rate I'm not going to stop writing this until it's finished! :D I always get like that at the end of a plot though so no surprise there! R&R please!