Chapter 4: Rescue

Yeah, I took a break. I didn't do any typing last night or this morning. I was going to this morning, but then I just decided to play Psychonauts (I'm playing it a second time, even though I never beat the Meat Circus) and I'm at the part where I have to beat the Rainbow Squirt Den Mother and free the Milkman. Or, at least (because I like to think in advance) it was while I was typing this.

To Violetwich if you read this too: Thanx 4 the Sam x Linda review if you're reading this, but it doesn't matter if you get to Level 100 because the skit is REALLY dumb. It isn't worth trying that hard just to get there. Seriously.

So, if you need a recap (I think I might) Raz is asleep, it's about 4:30 (or maybe a little later. I don't know.) and Lili just yelled for one of Sasha's cans of espresso to wake up Raz. How she uses it, however, is questionable…

New disclaimer: I don't own any internet sites. Nor do I own any Shakira songs. (I just found out that "Whenever, Wherever" is a Shakira song. Isn't it cool? I also think she's the next Britney Spears, but with emotion. Ah, well…)

Raz awoke to liquid being poured on his head. Not much liquid, just a little.

"Drink this." It was the voice of… Lili. Lili was handing him something… something cold… smooth… His eyes focused for half a moment.

"Very funny, Lili. Now, let me sleep. And don't pour coffee on my head again, or I'll set your hair on fire."

He went back to sleep.

"RAZ! WAKE UP!"

"Ugh… Okay, I'm almost awake. What do you want?"

"Drink the espresso or we'll leave you here and blame you if we don't find my dad."

Bitter as it was, bad as it tasted, Raz had to admit that it made him feel good. Milla and Lili both thought it made him hyper. Sasha's coffee was Sasha-strength, not ten-year-old-who-never-drinks-coffee strength. Sasha had been known to drink a large mug of pure espresso and still be a little bit sleepy. Raz, however, was over-hyper.

"I'm sorry, Lili, darling. I forgot to tell you to measure the chemicals."

"They should have warnings on those little cans."

A deep voice came from behind them, surprising them both. "I don't see why. It's just coffee. He just reacts strongly to it."

Without turning around, Milla said, in that near-distracted way that she had, "Sasha, darling, you're a caffeine addict. Now, what's the cure?"

"I don't have one. I never needed one."

Lili's sarcasm, which always came before anger, kicked in. "Sasha, that was dumb. You'd better come up with an antidote, NOW, because then we can find my dad." She was silently fuming.

"There's only one way to get off caffeine. Just wait. Then he'll crash. That's what happens when you have too much coffee."

sigh "I guess we'll just have to find my dad without him."

"Or he could be bait, to distract them."

"Sasha, darling, do you remember what I did when that child got stuck in the GPC?"

"Yes."

"Imagine that, except that I actually do get through your shield. I have claws, Sasha, and Raz is too young and hyperactive to be bait for kidnappers."

"It was just a suggestion. I thought – Lili, is that your cell phone?" There was the tune of "Whenever, Wherever" coming from Lili's hip.

"Yeah." Lili went to answer her cell phone. From the things she said, it was probably Zig. Why Zig would be up at 5:00 was beyond either Sasha or Milla, but by the time Lili was off her phone, Raz was in the beginning stages of calming down.

Lili's shrill voice sounded over Sasha's and Milla's thoughts. "Guys, I never told you this, but I can teleport. I think I might be able to teleport all three of you with me."

"Why isn't it registered, darling?"

"Because I'm my dad's daughter already, and teleportation is the most unusual skill in all of the Psychic world. Just think of how many more people I would be the hero of. I already have fanboys. It's disgusting. You have a connection to one person, or maybe you have a skill or something, and suddenly you're idolized by half a million people. One of my friends said someone's MySpace is about me. I haven't gone there yet, but I am sooooo angry at whoever did it. If I ever meet them in real life, they're dead."

Ignoring that last bit, staying on her usual, cheery note, Milla said, "Okay, darling. We're trusting you with our physical mass. Is that okay with you, Sasha? Raz?"

"Why didn't you tell us, Lili?"

"Oh, come on! You're completely into regulations, and Milla's hardly guarded. She's too nice to be guarded. I hardly know Raz, except for his personality and that he grew up in a circus as an acrobat. And that he's a good kisser."

"That's kind of a lot to know about me, Lili. And I can't believe you gave me a can of espresso."

"Let's just get on with it. Everyone okay with letting me transport their physical form?"

She got multiple replies that all meant "Yes," and in about half a second, they were about one-sixteenth of a mile from the building they were trying to get to. They walked the rest of the way there (they didn't want to appear suspicious) and entered invisibly. They blocked their thoughts from their minds, saw (and felt) that no one was there, and turned visible. They were all amazed that the one and only Truman Zanotto, Head of the Psychonauts (and the World Psychics Organization) was so loosely guarded. They searched the building and found him in about a minute (how easy can it be to conceal a full-grown man?) and unbound him, freeing him from the hat- and poncho-shaped Psychic Deteriorators. The Deteriorators, of course, weren't strong enough to break down his psychic abilities. They couldn't do that and live if they were found out. Instead, the devices simply blocked Truman's abilities to engage in Psychic activity and kept him from moving much. His ankles, of course, were also bound, but not so extensively.

"Daddy!" Lili ran up to her father and hugged him, not caring that other people were watching her display strong emotions.

"Ohmygod!Dad!I'msogladtoseeyou!Iwassoworried!I'msohappyyou'resafe!Ohmygod!Wehavesomuchtocatchupontoo!"

That last… I guess it's a word (I had to force myself to keep from putting in spaces) can be roughly translated into, Lili's glad that Truman's safe, she has to tell him stuff, he has to tell her stuff, and he has to tell her stuff.

Milla, Sasha, and Raz were staring at the pair, specifically Lili. Raz especially. This was the girl who had snapped at him for looking at her while she was in Oleander's mind for Basic Braining. She was now hugging someone like she never wanted to let go and was maybe one or two minutes away from tears.

"Okay, darlings, let's go."

That tweaked something in Raz's mind. "Uh, maybe not. If there's one thing I learned at summer camp, you have to stick around."

"Raz, darling, Sasha and I have dealt with things of this magnitude before. So has Truman, and Lili has heard accounts of them from her father. If we leave until the kidnappers get back and come in here, then we'll have them cornered. It's really the easiest way, darling. They won't be able to run out of any sort of door, because we'll be standing in front of the only one. There is only one door, is there not, Truman, darling?"

"Definitely. This place isn't that much more than an apartment, if you hadn't noticed." Truman Zanotto had a medium voice, for a man, and it was definitely higher than Sasha's. He spoke in a very frank manner and seemed like the sort of person who would get strait to the point, no matter what subject he was talking about.

"Yes we had, sir. Is this going to be like in True Psychic Tales #495, when Agent Kim used her TK with her martial arts moves and beat up the guys, then –"

"No, real life isn't like that. True Psychic Tales is a series of amusing stories created to entertain the public and educate them on the uses of various Psychic powers. Very few of the stories in there are true. There are as many true True Psychic Tales stories as there are life-threatening or interesting Psychonaut missions. Most of those missions are contained and kept under high security by the government, so the True Psychic Tales writers get together with a couple of Psychonauts and look at how those psychonauts would react to the storyline they've already come up with."

"Oh."

Sasha's voice came then. "Time to turn invisible. They're coming back."

The five all got as close to the door as they could, levitating of course, since Lili had taught Raz how to invisibly levitate on the jet to D.C. He had simply chosen to look like a Psycadet so that there wasn't some sort of uproar when people found out that the Psychonauts were admitting ten-year-olds. Fortunately, he remembered now.

Finally, they heard the door creak open. They all turned invisible and waited for the door to close. Sasha got in front of the door. As if by some unspoken signal, they all became visible, and Truman caught one of the people while Milla caught the other.

"You are under arrest for kidnapping of the head agent of the Psychonauts. You did a good job, by the way. I still haven't fully recovered my mental power. Agent Nein, would you mind locking their wrists?"

"Certainly." Bright blue loops formed around the peoples' wrists, then locked together.

"Where'd you guys park the jet?"

"I don't know, darling. Lili, where did we teleport from?"

"Thataway." Lili, in her usual, take-charge way that said "I don't care about you, but I'm going back to the jet," trudged out the door of the small entrance room.

The others followed, none of them having a clue where the heck Lili was going.

Meanwhile, Truman was mad at her. She was walking forward, emotionless, and he was blowing up. Quietly, of course. They didn't want anyone else to hear.

"You used your teleportation to take not only yourself, but also three other people, five miles through brick walls! What were you thinking, Lili!"

"I was thinking I wanted my father back, and we didn't have any time to spare. Do you know how long it takes to levitate and run five miles through a city? Not to mention that we make kind of a noticeable group, dressed in our Psychonaut uniforms."

"You don't have a uniform."

"I filched Raz's spare." She looked over her shoulder. "That's why I was digging around in your room. Thanks, Raz!"

"Eww! A girl is wearing my clothes!"

"Shut up, sexist. It isn't like I own any completely black stuff, and the only black stuff Zig owns are her dresses, which would be inconvenient if I had to levitate, with you and Sasha being on this trip, so I had to borrow your uniform. It's not like I wanted to or anything. It doesn't fit me."

"They don't fit anyone, Lili. They just make good cover. Now, back to the matter of you teleporting three foreign bodies along with yourself. I'm not familiar with the official punishment, but along with that, you're grounded for two weeks. No radio, CDs, tapes, or luxury electronics, and you can't go to any gatherings other that classes and necessary meetings."

"Dad, I'm absolutely overjoyed to have you back, but that just isn't fair."

"Actually, it is. You know that you were supposed to register as a Teleporter two years ago."

"It slipped my mind?"

"Lili…"

"Okay! Jeez. I use my skills to rescue my dad, and what do I get? Two weeks grounding, plus official punishment, which is always magnified by the number of foreign bodies, so by now I've got the rest of my life planned out: serving this punishment."

"Lili…"

"And I can't even wallow in superficial self-pity without my own dad interrupting me. We're here."

They had arrived at the jet. All five levitated up and into the psitanium-powered vehicle, the three senior agents powered it, and the cadet and young psychonaut went into the other room (there are two rooms! Isn't it great? Not including the bathroom, of course.) to… well, hang.

"Your dad is harsh."

"Tell me about it. He makes me practice all of my skills for an hour every day, even if I've got so much homework I can't get to bed until ten anyway. Do you want to know why? Because it isn't his fault! Then if I say I'm too tired to focus, he won't take that as an answer, he just says maybe if I practice while my mind is sludge, I'll be better when I'm normal. Then he complains if I do badly in school, even though he keeps me from studying sometimes, with his stupid "You're psychic, it's a wonderful gift, now shut up and practice." It's so dumb! But he really does love me. It's just, his parents kind of hated him as a kid, they were some of the ones who were afraid of psychics, so he thinks I should treat it like some wonderful thing. But it's a gift I didn't ask for! I know he didn't either, but he didn't have to do the stuff he makes me do!

"I guess it's okay though. I mean, I am more advanced than any of the other kids my age. That's why I look forward to summer camp. I can just run around, meditate, and chase people around. Except it felt kind of bad when Elton just posted that he was breaking up with me. He didn't even tell me. Then I met you. You're almost as good as I am."

"I guess it would've been kind of bad if you'd been taken into the Bran Tank, huh?"

"Yup."

Awkward silence.

"Raz?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's go to sleep. My mind's tired."

"You hardly did anything, though."

"I teleported five miles, with you, Sasha, and Milla, through brick buildings. It took awhile, but I'm tired now. Plus I don't have any of the adrenaline anymore."

"Oh… yeah… I know that feeling. It's like when I was performing in front of all these important people, and I really didn't want to screw up, and then when I was done I was still kind of pumped, and then a couple minutes later, I just kind of crashed."

"Yeah. Like you with the coffee."

"Okay. Let's go to sleep."

Before either of them could get to sleep, however, they heard Milla's voice.

"Children! We're back!"

"Huh? But we just…"

"When there are three people instead of just two, it's way faster! Duh! Now come on, dorkface! Let's get out of here!"

"Lili! What did I tell you about calling the other kids names?"

"He's not a kid! He's a psychonaut! He can handle it!"

"She calls – mmph!" Lili's hand covered his mouth.

"Shut up, Raz! I'm already grounded for two weeks! Do you want to get me in trouble again!" Raz reddened a little, and was thankful that, to everyone except for Lili, his mind was impenetrable.

Lili's hand came off of his mouth. "Oh, uh, I guess not. Sorry, Lili."

"Darlings! No time to waste! We have to get these people to the Psychic Council!"

The Psychic Council, Raz remembered from True Psychic Tales #162, was like a court, but for Psychics. They made the judgements on matters that involved significant amounts of psychic activity.

The two children levitated out of the jet. The criminals were suspended in front of the adults, but Raz could (finally) go to bed. He hadn't done anything. Sasha had guarded the door, Milla and Truman had held the criminals, and Lili had teleported them and taken them back to the jet. Raz himself hadn't done anything of significance.

Small and ugly as it was, the bed in Raz's room felt completely wonderful. He had woken up at 4 the day after Summer Camp ended, which was also the night he hadn't gotten any sleep, then he had crashed from a can of Sasha's espresso, and he was TIRED!

He heard a knock on his door. He was awake, and he heard a deep voice from his door.

"Razputin? It's time for you to learn about banking accounts."

He rolled over and looked at his watch. It was 1:07.

"Why? And why the heck did you wake me up?"

"I figured you'd be awake by now. It's been eight hours. The point is, you're getting paid to go on missions, and you need a banking account for the Psychonauts to deposit the money into your account."

"Oh. Just a minute!" For the second time that day, Raz got out of bed, dressed, and answered his door.

"Can't they just give it to me in cash?"

"It would be against protocol."

"Oh. So protocol doesn't make any exceptions for kids who need to catch up on two days of sleep?"

"No."

I kept thinking I was going to finish it soon, then I finally had to force myself to stop. Lili isn't coming up (except maybe in his mind) for a couple more chapters, because she's grounded. That's just so no one's complaining next chapter when they don't do anything together. Truman can't legally bind her psychic powers unless she's insane, which we all know she isn't. That was never mentioned in anything, but it makes sense.

If anyone has any ideas for Can and Can't Change, I need them. I have the worst case of writer's block ever, and you know I'll mention it was your idea, but I really need your help. According to my friends I need a counselor's help to get over my Psychonauts addiction, but I want this kind of help.