Alright just to clear things up, being for Jesus doesn't make you anti-sex. But sex should be shared between a husband and wife and not read or watched. Or in my case written. Also I am an adult, 33 to be exact, so I'm not being pressured or persuaded into this. I used to think it was just a natural thing and didn't worry too much about reading about sex, but now I realize its a beautiful thing that supposed to be shared behind closed doors.

I appreciate all the support and I hope you still enjoy the story. I have also changed the rating to reflect the new direction.

Enjoy and Review please. :)

"Talking"

Thoughts

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS OF HEY ARNOLD THEY BELONG TO CRAIG BARTLETT. HOWEVER THE LYRICS WRITTEN ARE MY ORIGINAL CREATION ALONG WITH THE PLOT IDEAS. DON'T STEAL. THANKS.

September (Past)

"You're sure?" Helga said her fingers gripping the phone a little too tight.

"Yes-" Phoebe said.

"No I mean sure, sure."

"Yes, Helga."

"You could be really late. Like late to Olga's dinner party late-"

Phoebe sounded amused and frustrated, "Unless my uterus has it's own heartbeat now."

Helga threw herself backwards onto her couch. The squishy cushions no comfort in her sudden new turmoil. Her mind racing a million miles an hour. A sigh passed between them.

Phoebe said slowly, "Arnold called me in a panic. My dear husband spilled the beans. We weren't going to say anything yet."

"Panic?" Helga sat up, What's got him in a twist now?

"Its seems since all of our friends are having children." Phoebe sighed, "He didn't want you to hear it secondhand from him. Or be upset."

"Psh, upset? I'm crystal Pheebs." Helga reclined back. Her meager attempt to seem calm, Even my best friend...

"Helga, I know you."

"Hey, we have a plan. And I thought you two did for that matter."

Phoebe let out a giggle, "It was a broken condom causality."

"It had to be-"

"Alright-I missed some pills too!" Phoebe feigned a dramatic Rhonda tone, "What do you want from me?"

The girls laughed for a minute.

Helga said, "I'm happy for you. Tell me all the details. And I'm going to all your appointments."

"I'm sure Gerald-"

"All. Gotta make sure those doctors don't screw it up."

"Of course, Helga." Phoebe sounded even more amused.

There was more excited small talk about the baby and the future to come. After what felt like hours, they finally ended their conversation. Helga stared at her phone a minute. The picture of Phoebe stared back at her.

You know what? This is great. Well get to help everyone else. And then when it's our turn, we really won't make any mistakes...

Satisfied with that answer she pushed off the couch to head to her home office. She had plenty to write and the day wasn't getting any shorter.

January (Present)

He comes up behind her, hugs her shoulders and kisses her temple, "Guess what?"

"What?" She said with a mild irritation.

"I got the promotion!" He said in a singsong voice.

She pushed off of the couch, "You're kidding me? Really?"

"Yep."

"That's fantastic!" she hugged him and tugged him into a needy kiss, "So does that mean?"

"Yes." A grin on his lips, "I'm ready to have a baby with you."

She clapped her hands with a slight girlish sound, "Let's do it right now."

She grabbed him by the collar to drag him towards their bedroom. He laughed and stumbled after her. Quickly, she started throwing off her clothing.

"Hold on. I know you're excited." He said putting his hands on hers, "But there's something else I need to get-"

Her shirt and shorts still hanging in limbo, "Are you kidding me right now? I was hot and ready before you came home-"

"There's a very delicate process to all of this-"

"Delicate? You just shove your dick up there. And repeat like this-" She crudely mashed her hands together, "Boom, baby."

"We're making a life—" He sighed, hand on his brow, "Not watching a wrestling match."

"Could've fooled me- sometimes."

"I promise it'll be worth it. Just hold tight." He walked out of the room.

Reluctantly she crawled back onto the bed. She folded her arms with her fingers tapping against her skin. A shiver of annoyance passed through her.

He came back a few minutes later holding a book up, "Got it. Now we can start off on the right foot."

She raised a brow, "Does that say the Expert's Guide to Conceiving?"

The book had a yellow trim, and big bold text. Like it was an informational book.

He crawled into bed with her. The book in his hand. She leaned into him.

Her hand pressed the book down, a sultry look in her eyes, "Let's forget the book tonight-"

"You know, this is more than just having sex. Okay? It's a big, long process. If we want this done right, we have to start on the right foot-"

"Crimney, you've got to be kidding me! Can't we just do it and then read the book?"

"I want our baby to have the best chance possible-"

"I've changed my mind. Let's just be childless."

"Don't you want them to be healthy and strong? That can't happen if we don't do what this book says."

"I'm over it already."

"Helga. Don't be like that. This is gonna be fun!"

"Whatever you say Football Head." Her scowl set deep as she sunk into the bed.

He started reading the first chapter for a little while. His eyes scanned the pages. She laid out wide with a groan while he ignored her.

He snapped the book shut, "So we can't do it tonight."

"What?!" She jolted up to face him.

"Yes, it is right here." He says cracking the spine and flipping through the pages to start at the beginning, "According to chapter one, it says that you have to be on a prenatal. And that you should be eating healthy. Which let's face it-"

"Hey!" She jabbed his chest, "Your diet isn't that great either."

"I'll be changing my diet too." He waved her down, "It also says we have to do all of these warm-ups."

"Arnold, I will murder you right now."

"You love me too much for that." He wore a cheeky grin.

"You know what? The chances of us getting pregnant the first time are very slim. Most people don't get pregnant until after they've tried for months. Years even!"

His brows furrowed, "Fine. I'm gonna get a condom."

"Fine." She hissed, Damn it. I was so looking forward to this…

She groaned and flopped onto her back, I guess after we do some of this prep stuff, then he'll be more open to it. No rush. Right?

Right?

The next day Helga started to read the book that Arnold had picked up. Looking over all the restrictions, her stomach started to turn. She wasn't exactly happy about the idea of making this more complicated than it needed to be. But that was Arnold for you.

Stupid Football Head's gonna suck all the fun out of this...I can already tell...

March

"Phoebe, Phoebe!" Helga called early in the morning.

Phoebe had barely roused to clutch the phone to her ear before more instructions were hastily said.

"This is a Code Red. I need a Cow in the grass stat!"

"Is this really—"

"Yes! Please please! Hurry before he gets home."

Phoebe glared at her phone through sleepy eyes. She wondered sometimes how she ever became friends with such an eccentric girl.

Phoebe walked up to the Shortman's apartment door. She could barely knock before Helga whisked her inside.

The blonde girl snatched the brown bag from her friend.

"You're welcome." Phoebe said with a snark to her voice.

"Were you followed?"

Phoebe shot her another look, "This thing. What is this all about? You're acting nuts more than usual!"

Helga rushed towards the table and hastily she dumped the contents of the greasy bag onto the table, "I'll explain in a minute."

She popped the lid on the salad and reached in for the hidden delight. A delicious, juicy cheeseburger drenched in ketchup, mayo and pickles. It only took her minutes, maybe seconds for her to devour it all.

She glanced over at her friend, "No fries?"

Phoebe let out a low sigh, her brow creased, "If I remember correctly Code Red only includes a cheeseburger in a salad."

Helga sighed, crumpling up the paper bag and throwing it into the trash, "I guess it will have to do."

Phoebe shuffled across the room to sit at the table. She adjusted her glasses and shot the blonde an exceptionally harsh look.

"Listen, I understand that you and Arnold are probably having some crisis right now, but I'm pregnant now and I'm tired a lot. So if you want me to help you, you're gonna have to be a little more considerate next time, please."

Helga shrunk slightly, "Sorry Pheebs. Really. You want a drink? Or?"

"No. Just tell me what's going on now."

"I hadn't had a chance to tell you yet." Helga bit her lip, "He gave us the okay."

"What? You're kidding!" Phoebe leaped back out of the chair. All of her scowl faded away into a look of pure glee, "Are you serious?"

Helga nodded vigorously. Blushing faintly.

The shorter girl grabbed Helga's hands. The two of them did a little jump the middle the kitchenette.

Phoebe said, "This is amazing. I'm so happy for you, Helga. It's just what you wanted. Now, why am I doing a burger run in the early crack of morning?"

"Yeah, see? That's the part that isn't so perfect." She rubbed her hands together, "He picked up that Expert's Guide to Conceiving book and we've been reading it. We have to follow it to a T or paste for brains comes unglued."

"I see."

Helga threw herself backwards over the chair dramatically, "What would he say if saw me eating such swill from a lowly bargain basement, cornerstone eatery? Oh woe! The same place I've derided my beloved, and yet here I am the grease stains fresh on my loose white shirt. Curse it all!" she leapt from the table and tumbled into her room.

A moment later she returned with fresh clothing but that wild look was still about her.

Phoebe tried to keep calm. But it was very obvious to her that her friend was in the middle of a meltdown. Which wasn't uncommon given who she was talking to, but still as an adult, you would think she would have a better grip on things.

"Oh no the bag!" Helga bolted out of the seat, intent on tearing the trashcan lid off in an effort to find the bag.

Phoebe grabbed Helga's arm tightly, "Stop. Sit down. Chill out."

Phoebe said it was such ferocity that Helga was frozen for a moment. Reluctantly she followed her back to the little table in the kitchenette.

"I'm goin' to freakin' starve!"

"I don't think—" Phoebe said.

"It's just he's so- I've just waited so long for this! And if he knows that I'm slipping he's gonna make a start over or something."

"He won't. You'll just have to make him understand." Phoebe put a hand on Helga's, her gaze softer now.

Just then Arnold walked in to the apartment. There was a towel wrapped around his neck and his tank top soaked. He'd clearly been working out.

He startled for a moment, "Oh, Phoebe, you're here. I didn't know."

"Just a quick chat. I won't be long."

"It's fine." He said approaching the table, "How is my special lady?"

"Just fine." Helga said through her teeth, resting her chin in her hand.

"Good." He leaned in for a quick peck, "Gonna get cleaned up."

"Love you." Helga wears the warmest smile.

"Love you more." He turned to walk towards their room.

Both girls noticed the dissembled trashcan at the same time.

Panic struck Helga.

"Oh Arnold." But Phoebe was faster.

He turned to look at her.

She waved meekly, "If you see a fast food bag in there, it's mine. Total pregnancy cravings. I'm little embarrassed for Gerald to see me eat like that. You know?"

He nodded with a small wink, "Your secret is safe with me."

"Secrets!?" Helga's face fell from her hand, almost hitting the table, "Who said anything about that?"

She recovered and gave her husband a crooked grin that was less than convincing.

His gaze narrowed between the two of them before he shook it off, "Good to see you Phoebe."

"Yeah, you too! I'll tell Gerald 'hi' for you."

"Great."

There was a tense weirdness in the air as he closed the door behind him.

Phoebe said, "Oh, my. This is serious."

"I told you. He's just so happy and it's going to upset him."

"You know you better tell him the truth. Besides babies were being born before all of these modern precautions just fine!"

"I know, criminy!" she leaned back in the chair, Maybe I stick it out a little longer…after all it's just temporary…

Later that night, Helga sat on her bed reading the book. Each page had a monthly timeline and by her calculations, they were on schedule. And it meant they should be good to go by the end of April.

But still, she was letting him lead-

Which was rare enough in and of itself, especially in this matter-

She knew she could keep it together and that it would be worth it in the end. After all, she wanted them to both be happy with the way things are and the way things were going to be.

She figured that the only way that was going to happen was is if she followed his slower pace. She could be patient— sometimes.

She was so focused on reading, she barely felt the weight pressing down into the bed next to her.

"Hey," he said in a sultry way his fingers tangling into her hair.

She barely looked up from the book, "Yes?"

He seemed a little perturbed by her dismissive stance, "Hey, do you want to maybe chaperone a trip in the near future? The Sunny Hills Orphanage wants us to take the kids to the zoo."

"Well, that sounds—educational." There was disdain in her voice.

What's with her? He decided to bite back, "You sound thrilled."

He just doesn't get it…She shut the book, "Can we just skip whatever this is and go to bed?"

Did I make her mad? He blinked at her, "Sure?"

She flopped down onto the bed and pulled the covers high over her head.

"You sure everything's okay? Did I-"

"I'm peachy. Goodnight."

He shook his head and settled down next to her. He tried to ignore the fact that she was pretending to sleep already.

There are so many things I will never understand about her…

He rolled to put his back to her. He worried if he watched her sleep it would only make him want to question her more. Old habits and all that.

And why were they freaking out about fast food bag earlier? Seriously?