Embracing His True Self
Yes, Chapter 90 has been posted before, sorry if you're all disappointed that it's not a new chapter but I screwed up with the previous chapter big time. Thanks to those who pointed it out to me I really appreciate it! Much better than having to edit multiple chapters when I figured it out LOL so it's been edited, its not obvious at first but as you continue on, you'll notice it! Mostly regarding Grindelwald and their plans for him. Also a big thanks to those who made suggestions on my facebook group!
Chapter 90
Voldemort was naturally a very early riser, something bred into him throughout his life. From a young age at the orphanage, to classes, to work, it was no easy feat what he hoped to accomplish. It has and always had been his life's goal, he had been so close the first time around before he was defeated. He was grateful for it; he had gone so far into the deep end that it wasn't even slightly humorous. They had joined him out of fear, which pleased him.
Now though near enough two decades later? They were joining him once more. This time out of fear and respect, they knew he was going to win this time. Not only was the threat of the Order eliminated – in such a spectacularly amazing way – but Dumbledore was no longer a threat to him and his.
The things he'd learned about Dumbledore in the past few years, he'd always known the old fool wasn't as light as he portrayed. He'd never imagined just how depraved he really was. The things he'd done for his image of the 'greater good' it made him wonder just who else he had tampered with for his vision. How many families had he 'created' and how many were still out there without any realization it wasn't the lives they dreamed?
Not only that, but the lengths he'd gone whenever someone didn't act like he expected them to. The potion that stripped them of who they were, it made his skin crawl and he was in no way easily perturbed.
He'd planned on giving it to his partner, his bonded, and had given it to Gellert Grindelwald.
"You're thinking too hard," Harry grumbled, giving Tom a petulant shove, "Stop it!" he could literally feel it through the bond, and it was wakening him up.
"It's impossible to stop thinking," Voldemort said dryly, stretching out leisurely, this was turning out to be his favourite part of the day. They start it with no masks, no games, just themselves and planning out their day.
"Ugh," Harry groaned, reluctantly forcing his eyes open, "The smugness rolling off you is nauseating." He groused, especially this early in the morning. "You know thinking about Dumbledore this early I might begin to think…"
"How do you know it was Dumbledore?" Voldemort asked, surprise flickering through his eyes. One day he would learn to stop being surprised by Harry, but apparently it wouldn't be today.
"Oh, please, that's the only thing that can make you this smug," Harry said, sitting up and stretching out with a yawn. "Then again, me too." And the smugness exponentially became double, "Just imagining him rotting away in our cell…knowing that he knows he's lost…and one day when we've actually won…we'll go to him and make him realize just how much he screwed up. Let him see us together…remaking the world to our image…the last people he'll ever see before his death in front of everyone that wants to see him dead."
That smugness gave way to low grade arousal, Voldemort's arm snaked around Harry's middle and brought him close to him. Their kiss was much like the foundation of their relationship, forceful and possessiveness. "Mmm, that sounds just…perfect," he declared.
"Doesn't it just?" Harry murmured a little breathlessly, green eyes alit with passion. "We beat him…and everything he stands for." arms up at Tom's chest and his chin pressed against them, watching Tom as closely as he was watched in turn.
"Indeed, we did," Voldemort agreed entirely too smug for his own good. "I won't be fully satisfied until he's dead." The darkness that he never kept hidden crept up with a feral intensity.
They were always a little wary and walking on eggshells a bit, knowing Dumbledore was still alive. Miss one fanatic and Dumbledore potentially could escape the controlled environment that Tom and Harry had specifically created for him in the bowls of Slytherin Manor. Sure, they could go and kill him, it's not like he'd have died a Martyr now, not with everyone knowing the truth. Unfortunately, they wanted to see Dumbledore suffer as much as possible before they ended him.
They did know though, that the time was coming. Soon.
"I know," Harry said, "And I happen to agree. What do you have to do today?"
"Mostly full agenda today," Voldemort informed him, as usual he had back-to-back meetings, either here at the Manor or elsewhere.
"I…have something to do, then I'll be going to Knockturn Alley," Harry shrugged a little.
Voldemort gave him a narrowed shrewd look, "And what is that 'something' to do? And will you be taking the others with you?" saying others when he actually meant guards just to keep Harry safe. Especially if he was up to mischief.
Harry shook his head, "No, I'm doing it alone."
Voldemort frowned, rather displeased to hear that, "This have anything to do with the antidote you tried?" between him and Severus they'd created something, but they'd no way call it an antidote. Nor was what Harry had created come to that.
"Yes, I want breakfast first though," Harry said, he wasn't going to miss a meal, not for anything. Ever since he first got here, and let out of his cell, he'd always had three meals a day and whatever he wanted something to eat for supper when he was particularly hungry.
"I supposed we must," Voldemort agreed, not quite letting go yet, he'd never seen this as a possible future. If someone told him this, he would have laughed before killing them for their audacity. As if he would have needed a partner, let alone one nearly sixty years his junior.
"I guess we should get moving," Harry sighed, "At least we'll be able to eat in peace before Luna and Rodolphus disturb us." giving Voldemort a wicked shit-eating grin. Blatantly changing the subject to something that was annoying Voldemort fiercely.
"If she wasn't so valuable, I would have her evicted," Voldemort threatened emptily.
Harry laughed as he rolled off of Voldemort, rolling his eyes, "Oh, please, empty threat that," his partner was utterly fascinated with Luna and her gifts. Added to the fact she was marrying one of his most faithful had her held in high regard. It made Harry relax seeing that, he honestly would never forgive Tom if he did do anything to Luna who was the only one of his friends who knew the full truth and stood beside him regardless.
"Well, Lestrange would be put out if I did evict her," Voldemort sighed dramatically, watching Harry undress. Seeing the marks he'd left on Harry's supple body with relish and satisfaction.
"Which one?" Harry chortled, as he disappeared into the closet to get dressed for the day. Voldemort had ordered him a whole new wardrobe for his birthday, following the trend he had begun by gifting him clothes for his first birthday under his roof. He had more clothes than he'd ever need. Some still had the Twilfitt tags on them. Still, he was making an effort to get through them. Tom did not like seeing him in Muggle clothes. Harry still put them on just to see the look on his face sometimes.
Voldemort made a face, Rodolphus and Rabastan's father had been exceedingly odd these past weeks. He'd not only approved their wedding, he was paying for everything, and following Luna around as though she might fall and hurt herself just by breathing. He'd never seen him like that before and it had startled a laugh out of him.
He had a look of utter worship and adoration on his face. It was clear he couldn't wait to be grandfather. Rodolphus and Rabastan couldn't deny their father anything after what he'd been through over the past decade and a half.
"If I didn't know any better, I would have thought him under the Imperius Curse," Voldemort stated, speaking louder so Harry could hear him. which wasn't possible, Lestrange could easily withstand even his Imperius Curse. "It's nauseating, more so than having to endure the wedding planning being discussed in front of me."
Harry came out fully dressed and sniggering, "The looks you pull and how oblivious they are is amusing."
Voldemort glared indignantly, "With a little luck we'll finish breakfast before they descend." Flinging the covers off himself and all but stomped towards the closet to get dressed as well.
"Probably it is a bit early, and Luna's sleeping later, morning sickness is apparently a bitch. Another good reason to avoid getting pregnant don't you think?" Harry said wryly.
"There's all the reasons not to get pregnant," Voldemort stated immediately, but Harry wouldn't be surprised by his vehemence. For he had always made his opinion very well known.
He didn't want a child full stop. He had after all, plenty of opportunity to do so in his seventy plus years of life. People he didn't care about enough to care if they survived or not. He certainly didn't want one now, not with someone he cared far more than any child. Crying squalling things that need constant care and attention. He could never do that; he did not have the patience…and what sort of child would he and Harry create? Both of them knew nothing of children, and had no patience for that sort of thing. They were much too busy with their plans too, and Harry would never wish to be left behind to care for that hypothetical child. No, they wouldn't make good parents, which makes it a good thing that neither of them wanted one.
"True," Harry murmured, it was funny how life changed, how your desires changed when you grew up. When he was really young, he'd hoped for a family to claim him, just so he wasn't at the Dursleys to his parents really being alive. Then he'd hoped to have a family, a wife, children. Then of course, he'd grown up. There were enough children in the world already, their lives weren't exactly stable, always people out to kill them.
"Now let's go," Voldemort stated firmly, emerging in his usual dark robes.
Even during most celebrations Tom wore black. The best of the best of course, but still only black. He did have a few other robes in other colours, green and blue only though, and they were dark enough that they hid amongst the black rather well. Harry nodded, and both of them slid out of their joined room, Harry's old room was nothing but a study now. Not as frequently used as he had thought it would be.
Their seats were in the middle, with larger 'throne' like chairs compared to everyone else's. Harry thought it was utterly pretentious and let Voldemort know it but he was all for theatrical performances. It was also a subtle reminder to whom the Death Eaters served. That they were the Masters. Untouchable. Protectors. Protected.
They'd barely sat their backsides down when trays of food appeared. The smell immediately wafting up causing their stomachs to grumble hungrily. They also had the post in a small silver tray between them. As always, the silver tray was imbedded with the Slytherin coat of arms. There was no doubt Tom was proud to be Salazar Slytherin's heir.
"Here," Voldemort passed one of the envelopes to Harry, not even flipping it over to see whom it was from. There were no secrets between them, he would find out soon enough. He set his own aside, and began plating up his breakfast.
Harry accepted it, flipping it over to realize whom it was from, "Ah, Lord McKinnon has gotten back in touch, three weeks nearly I've been waiting for this." give or take a day or two really.
"Then he's definitely catering to you," Voldemort informed him, a smirk drawing at his lips. No surprise there, Harry wasn't a person someone wanted to cross if they opened their eyes and actually saw the wizard he was. Not what they expected to see. "Usually, it takes months to rearrange a meeting, especially for one as sought after as Lord McKinnon."
"You actually sound like you…respect him," Harry said, staring at Voldemort rather baffled by that respect. The scoop of scrambled egg just hovering in mid-air. "You killed his daughter, didn't you? Oh, you went yourself, that either meant she was a big threat you want deal with on your own or you actually respected her and her powers." Having continued on as soon as Tom nodded his head, all the while plating some food.
"Bit of both, she was very powerful, I was leery about inviting the entire McKinnon clan down on my head, they aren't a clan to be messed with. The clan is seventy-five members strong the last time I looked into them two decades ago. All still united under one crest and actually all blood related or married into the family." Voldemort confessed wryly as he ate breakfast.
"Kill her and hope none of the others came to her defence or worse, have the entire clan drawn under Dumbledore's banner." Harry said, cocking his head to the side, "Yeah, I wouldn't have risked it." cutting up his sausage and chewing on it thoughtfully. It might explain why she joined, maybe Dumbledore wanted the rest to follow her footsteps.
"It was definitely not one of my smarter moves, but luckily for me, they didn't make a call to arms and decide to fight." Voldemort nodded; he had been rather insane at the time. Hubris making him believe he was untouchable until he'd been proven wrong and made into a spirit for a decade. "Most of the McKinnon's are actually dark wizards themselves." they had dark cores, but everyone with a dark core didn't always believe in his cause and remained neutral.
"I noticed that, and they most definitely noticed mine," Harry agreed fully, before turning back to the letter and begun to read it. "Hmm, I've been invited to the McKinnon estate in Scotland in three days' time, they've agreed to let me bring a few guards. Although, I wasn't aware of just how big the clan was when I said only a few." Put out about that, no wonder they'd easily agreed.
"Then you should definitely take Severus," Voldemort told him brow furrowed, "Perhaps Lucius as well, I know you don't get along much with him, but he's one of my best fighters." Mostly because he had something worth fighting for, his family. "And young Malfoy, he needs to learn the ins and outs."
Harry scoffed, "You're joking right? Look if you want Draco to learn, then do it when I'm not around. He's smart yes, but he's too impulsive when I'm around…his jealousy gets the better of him." baring his teeth in annoyance, he couldn't stand the idiot. The competition was entirely one sided, Draco felt the need to constantly be better than him. It wasn't like he'd done better than him at school. He'd made sure his grades were mediocre at best, hiding who he was. Except his owls, which he had taken early, but that was beside the point. The rivalry was one thing he hadn't missed when he left school.
"Which is why it must be you," Voldemort decided, "If he can tolerate and remain professional," ignoring Harry's snort, "Then he may well succeed. I need to find out whether he's useful or whether he will be discarded."
"You mean whether to give him the dark mark," Harry said wryly, well aware of what his partner was alluding to. Filling his
"Yes," Voldemort nodded curtly, "I need someone to replace Bellatrix."
"Not Malfoy!" Harry wheezed after abruptly swallowing thankfully only some scrambled egg. It felt like it had gone down the wrong pipe, he gulped down some pumpkin juice with a grimace. Ugh, that had been nasty. He narrowed his eyes, "You did that on purpose."
"No, not Malfoy," Voldemort said, not commenting on the other statement, maybe he had, maybe he hadn't. Harry wasn't the only one who could be a devious little shit when he wanted to be. "No matter how good Lucius is, his son doesn't automatically get a free pass."
"What about the Crabbe Matriarch? She has everyone's respect and is listened to?" Harry suggested.
"But has no political clout or powers to match, and is very much unmarked," Voldemort shook his head, it was a good idea in theory but she would be killed quite quickly out there if she went on a raid. Adding his thoughts, "She would die quite quickly in a raid, or worse, cause the death of another trying to protect her."
"There isn't a need for raids," Harry pointed out narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
"When we take over, there will be, it is inevitable. I rather hope it isn't needed, but I am not one to take chances." Voldemort declared.
"Oh, yeah, good point," Harry said realizing that Tom was now looking at the end game now. He'd been thinking in general, raids on Muggles, that sort of thing. Not something Tom would do, not with Luna's warning about the dangers Muggles pose to them all.
"What's a good point?" Rodolphus asked as he joined them.
"Luna not coming down?" Harry asked, surprised to see him without her.
Rodolphus shook his head, "She's not up to eating, she's having breakfast in bed." He'd been reading every single book on pregnancies he could find. Every single thing they mentioned was the bare bones. Why call it morning sickness when it was sickness at any time of the day? She'd been up since five am this morning being sick. With creative threats being made at him if he dared to fall asleep.
Despite the threats, he was excited. Just four more weeks and she'd be his lawful wedded wife. This time he knew what he was getting himself in for. This time he'd have a proper wife, one who loved him. Knew all of him and still wanted him. He'd never been happier in his life.
"What's the good point?" he asked again, sitting down to breakfast. His father, his brother and Severus, were up there with Luna, it's not like she lacked company.
"I'm searching for someone to replace Bellatrix," Voldemort informed Rodolphus.
"Ah," Rodolphus nodded, to be entirely truthful they'd been surprised nobody had been picked yet. There was a lot of hope going around their comrades that they would be picked out. Lot of people trying to 'prove' they've got what it took. Reality was, it took a lot to get into the inner circle, it wasn't just one suitable thing it was at least three or four.
"Have you been to see her again?" Harry asked sounding amused. He did not like Bellatrix and wasn't sorry about what he'd done. He would have repeated the exact same actions if time reversed for whatever reason.
"Yes, I've visited," Rodolphus admitted, and he'd made his decision as well. It had been extremely easy, once the knowledge that he was going to be a father sank in.
"How is she?" Harry queried, not really interested in the answer, well, not in the extent that he hoped she was better. He rather liked the thought of her suffering. Knowing every single day, she woke that she was nameless and had been stripped of her magic.
"Subdued, Grant found the best combination for her, she's no danger to anyone." Rodolphus shrugged, she wasn't his problem anymore. He hated that she had been his problem, but that was rectified due to the wizard sitting opposite him.
"That is Healer Janssen," Voldemort said, wiping his mouth, and checking his front to ensure no food had made a mess of his robes. "If you wish to attend, I'll be in my office." Noticing Harry hadn't quite finished yet.
"Meet you there," Harry said, quickly beginning to eat what was left of his breakfast swiftly. Healer Janssen had been visiting Grindelwald, why was Tom bringing him here? "You alright?" noticing Rodolphus being rather quiet, "Missing Luna already?" he teased lightly.
"I'm fine," Rodolphus grinned, he felt lighter than he had all year, having made his decision, yes, he felt free. "Honestly," giving a nod of gratitude.
Harry nodded, he definitely looked like a weight had been taken off his shoulders lately. Was it having a child? Getting married to someone he loved? Not being responsible for the ending of his line? Because it was unlikely Rabastan and Severus would have a child, although he was creating something that would allow it. "I have to go," hastily wiping his mouth, before leaving, he knew that Tom would start without him.
He heard Rodolphus' laughter ringing in his ears after almost smacking straight into the door. He'd get him back some other time, he thought, as he made a beeline for Tom's study, or what he called Tom's study, the one used for meetings there was one upstairs which he called Tom's private study.
He was too curious to know the answer that awaited them.
Harry slid into the room, to find that the Healer was just taking his seat. Harry walked over and took his seat. He wondered if the healer even spoke English or if he was going to be left out while they spoke German. He hoped not, he didn't know other languages and it hadn't been a priority. Well, except for the obvious. Parselmouth.
"This is my partner, Lord Harry Potter-Black," Voldemort gestured to Harry, so English it was.
"Very good to meet you, Lord Potter," Healer Janssen replied, inclining his head respectfully.
"You as well," Harry said, returning the head incline.
"You asked that I perform a full medical scan on Gellert Grindelwald, here is the results." Healer Janssen said, holding out the bound scroll, already waxed in place. "I have not read them myself."
"Perfect," Voldemort said withdrawing a bag of coins and handing them to the Healer, then accepted the medical scan. Able to sense the truth in his words, he hadn't sneaked a peak.
Harry leaned closer, pressing himself against Voldemort, so he could see. The wax seal was broken swiftly, and Voldemort unrolled the scroll and they began at the bottom, making their way up. The medical scan he'd told the Healer to use would enable the potion to show up, he should know, he'd created it specifically to get answers.
"There," Voldemort and Harry said together almost at once. "Just as expected," Harry added, the potion itself didn't come up but the ingredients binding it together most certainly did. "It's the same potion." The very same potion they'd found.
Voldemort nodded, how close had he truly come to being given that very same potion? Then again…he had always been too suspicious for his own good which might have just saved him from the same fate. Decades of forced to live as Dumbledore's puppet. Gellert came close to being the only person who was able to drag a smidgen of sympathy from the Dark Lord.
"Thank you for your services," Voldemort stated, standing up causing the healer to stand as well, a little startled at the abruptness of it all. "My House-elf will show you out." And just like that she popped in, ready to do as her Master asked, or unasked as the situation may be.
"Wait, I have a question, has anyone even been to see him? Is anyone even trying to help him?" Harry asked, crossing his arms, staring at the Healer silently demanding an answer. He knew people here in the UK weren't. Hell, they hadn't even touched upon a piece of paper to see to it that Gellert Grindelwald gained his rightful freedom. Which infuriated Harry even if he could understand why if he stepped back and saw it from a critical eye.
"Nein," the healer replied, shaking his head.
Harry nodded, unsurprised, "Thank you for your time," and with that the Healer was gone with the House-elf escorting him out.
Harry licked his lips, "Damn it, have you and Severus had any more luck with a possible antidote?"
"Severus and I actually looked at your version, created our own theoretically. Unfortunately, the reality we're faced with…is that any anti-dote we create will…kill the recipient within ten minutes." Voldemort leaned back, watching Harry curiously. He could torture without remorse but had a heart enough to be incensed at any sign of wrongdoing.
"What? What?" Harry asked, repeating himself, his mind trying to figure it all out. "Mine would have killed Grindelwald?" his mind reeling over the ingredients, trying to figure out where he'd screwed up.
"It's almost as if it was purposefully done," Voldemort said with grudging admiration. "Any version of the antidote will kill the recipient. The ingredients react and cause a reaction, a rapid decline. That's if their hearts don't give out when they realize what they've done. Given Grindelwald's advanced age, there is no happy ending for him."
"Except giving him back his sense of self," Harry said, mulling over the ingredients, "What if we can put the potion in stasis after it's been consumed?" smacking his hand over his face, of course, those two ingredients would have a poison affect, ugh, how could he have not noticed?
"That wouldn't work for any longer than five hours, our magic would get rid of it, given how powerful Grindelwald is…and his inability to use his magic for such a long time, he might get an hour at most…if he's lucky." Given what life had thrown at him thus far it was highly unlikely he'd be lucky in any shape or form.
"There's no hope for an alternative?" Harry asked pensively. Trying to figure out some alternative ingredient to use but coming up empty. Apparently, Severus and Tom had too.
"Luna confirmed our thoughts," Voldemort confessed wryly, knowing that Harry would cede to Luna's knowledge. Sensing the Healer being escorted across the wards, and felt the subtle press of the wizard Apparating away.
"Damn," Harry said bitterly.
"Yes," Voldemort agreed, it drove home how fortunate Harry had been, leaving Hogwarts when he had, had probably been the best thing possible. The thought of losing him…he would have left death and destruction in his wake if such an outcome had been reality.
"His name has been utterly destroyed, it will always be thought of with anger, rage and disgust. His legacy is always going to be one of destruction, people can't help but think of what he did regardless of his innocence. Not that the Ministry is even attempting to do anything." Harry said, pinching the bridge of his nose, as he leaned closer into Tom. "We have to help him, even if it kills him…I…we…we would want the same thing."
Gellert Grindelwald was still dangerous really, still under Dumbledore's personality altering potion. The Ministry Potion Master's weren't exactly the best in the field. The Ministry couldn't afford the money it would cost to keep the best of the best. There was nothing they could do until one was created, but there wasn't one able to be created. Imagine allowing him to continue suffering after knowing he was innocent. Nothing but a puppet on a string.
"If you feel you must, then do so," Voldemort decided to let Harry do what he will. Honestly though, if he had been given that potion? He would have chosen death than live as someone else's puppet. He didn't need to hear Harry's earlier statement to know he was in the very same boat. He liked to think everyone would react in the same manner. "I'll have Severus brew the antidote while you're in Knockturn Alley." He'd be grateful, Severus was in the same boat as him, he found the whole thing nauseating. "Macnair will be going with you."
"Why him?" Harry asked, making a face, "He works in the creature department, right?"
"He's also able to manipulate wards expertly without leaving a trace, I taught him myself. You'll need him or me if you hope to get anywhere near Grindelwald in Nurmengard." Unfortunately, he had meetings all day so he wouldn't be able to facilitate his breaking into Nurmengard although he was curious to know whether he could do it.
"Who says I want to be subtle?" Harry said with a vindictive smirk.
"Make sure you don't leave any trace of your magic behind," Voldemort sighed dramatically, the magical world's reaction would surely be amusing if nothing else.
Far more interesting than what had been happening as of late.
Babies, weddings and grandparents, he'd had enough of that thank you very much. Honestly, it was as if they detested being in Lestrange Estate which admittedly was undergoing renovations in five different parts of the estate. It would be nine within the next few months. Probably more, it was being updated, more with far greater detail than before. All for the 'next generation' it had been abruptly decided.
It was clear everyone was utterly insane, if they weren't careful, he was going to end up joining them in insanity.
A/N – Hmm I created way too many interesting characters here between Luna/Rod and Tom/Harry and of course Arthur and Dolohov what would you like to see more of? My apologies for deleting and uploading it twice but it was a massive plot hole which hasn't exactly been 'cleared' but it's the best I can do BUT the reality is the Government likes burying their heads in the sand, pretending things haven't happened and just generally not giving a shit, like our own Prime Minister who's been reported to have said 'let them die in their thousands' some Minister that's been picked if it's true eh? R&R please