Author: Mirai Shinranui
Rating: PG.
Notes: I suppose you all thought that I had given up on this fic, right? It's been such a long time since I posted my last chapter. I really am no good with deadlines, or doing anything in a short space of time, especially when it's something challenging. This chapter was just that – challenging. I honestly though that this chapter would be easy, since I've been planning it since I began, but for some reason nothing turned out the way I wanted, and I had to push myself through the entire chapter. In the end, though, I think I got it close to what I want, but it took a very long time to achieve. This chapter is a lot longer than other chapters, even my 'long' ones, but a good deal of it is dialogue.
Some of the information in this is from the BeyBlade manga, while other parts are from the anime, both original and dub. I've used the dub names (except for Rei) the entire way through. I don't usually use the dub names (because they are terrible) but when I started, I didn't know how many people associated with the original names. I have had this problem with other fandoms I have become involved in before. So, despite my hate of the dub names, they are going to remain for the rest of this fiction.
If you can't remember what happened in the last few chapters, go back and have another read. I don't think it's important if you don't, but it might refresh your memory. If you don't, then just go ahead and read the new chapter; just in time for Valentine's Day! Special thanks again goes to Hikari no Donya, who has put up with my whining and ramblings this whole time, and helped a lot with the structure of this chapter. Happy Valentines Day, Hikari!
Part Eleven – The Fire in my Dreams
Kai inhaled the black smoke that billowed around him in heavy clouds. It stung his throat, thick on his tongue, threatening to choke him. He waved his arm in an attempt to clear the smog, and he knew the outcome before it happened. Fire leapt into the air, wrapping around his legs, caressing his arms, almost comforting.
He reached down, and the hot tendrils danced between his fingers. A small sigh drifted past his lips as he dropped to his knees, the heat surrounding him. He leaned into that touch, engulfed by the flames, a delicate smile tracing his lips. This was where he belonged.
Fiery hands crawled up the length of his body and fingers of flame plunged through his skin, his body invaded, but he made no sound, nor movement. The fire coursed through his veins, closing tight around his heart. Kai felt his eyes close and he drew in a shaky breath of thick air. He wanted this.
The flames spread from his fingers, snaking along the ground, following a predestined path. He knew where. This had happened so many times before.
His Grandfather appeared before him, the same image of menacing power he remembered, his dark, brooding eyes staring him down, challenging him. Kai felt a familiar warmth spread in his chest, flowing through his blood, until it burst from his body, boiling over and too much to contain. He wanted to burn this figure, the source of so many of his problems. He watched as the fire smothered the man, the smile on his lips easy. The satisfaction he felt undeniable. He craved this.
His mind conjured images for him, each one destroyed in a brilliant display of fire. His house burned to the ground before his eyes, collapsing stone by stone. The only thing remaining was the tree, hidden in the yard. He clenched his fists, and flames burst forward, surrounding the base, leaping towards each branch. It singed and burned, hissing in pain, until even the charred statue of the once proud tree crumbled and died as a wisp of smoke carried on the breeze.
Kai slumped forward, resting his weight on his hands. Each pull of breath reminded him of the fire burning inside him, devouring him. All he could see was a raging torrent of flames branching from his body, now blazing out of control. A crack of something ahead alerted him, and he lifted his head to whatever vision his mind had created for him. Fire swept from him, reaching out to destroy another painful figment of his imagination.
"…Kai?"
His eyes wide, shocked, Kai looked up. No! He scrambled to his feet, reaching out. He waved his arms, slashing at the smoke, panic rising in his throat. A burst of flames erupted in front of him, but he pushed through, desperate.
"Stop it!" Kai reached forward, blinded by the burning soot in his eyes. He could not mistake the gentle voice that questioned him. "Rei? Where are you?"
"…Kai!"
He could see nothing except flames, and the sound of Rei's screams echoed in his head. He stumbled over his own feet, falling to the floor. Where was Rei? This was not happening… He did not want this!
"Rei! Rei…please…" He stretched out his hand, though he could see nothing. He crawled forward on his hands and knees, feeling his hands burn as he leant on the hot coals, the fire beginning to eat at his clothes. "Where are you?"
"Kai…"
His heart leapt into his throat. He looked up. Rei crouched on the floor, only a few feet away. He was almost there…
Flames leapt into the sky in front of him, a burning barrier between him and Rei.
"No!" He stretched forward, begging the fire to return to him, to consume him instead. He never wished for this to happen.
"Kai…how could you?"
Kai choked back a cry as the fire raced towards Rei, swallowing him. The last thing he saw was the disappointment in Rei's golden eyes.
Screams of pain resonated in his ears, but not once did he notice that the screams were not Rei's, but his own.
-
Kai sat bolt upright in his bed, his breathing strained, and his throat burning. Sweat poured from his skin, his thin shirt saturated. He let out an annoyed cry, stripped it from his body, and threw it to the floor. The blankets followed. He fell back onto the bed, arms spread. The cool air attacked his damp skin, which prickled with tiny bumps.
For a second, he closed his eyes in an attempt to alleviate the throbbing pain in his head. Flames jumped to his eyes, which he snapped open once again. No… Why had that happened? That last person he ever wanted to harm was Rei!
He sat up, digging his nails into his forehead. Why? He had never dreamt anything like that before. He was used to the flames, to the painful images…but why Rei? The heat, the smoke, and the screams that circled in his head; it had all seemed so real.
Kai swung his legs over the side of the bed. He would just check. Rei was fine, but he would just check. He might not be able to sleep again tonight. He would not wake him if he were asleep.
The sound of his footsteps echoed down the long hall. Rei was fine. He knew Rei was fine. Kai upped his pace, almost breaking into a run as his mind replayed his dream for him. All he could see were those eyes staring at him.
Rei…
The door groaned when he turned the handle and pushed it open. The room was pitch‑black, the curtains to the balcony pulled shut. Kai felt a shiver run up his spine. Rei lay curled in a ball in the middle of the bed, the covers drawn around his ears so that just the pointed tips stuck over the top. He was fine. He lay so still, so peaceful.
Kai felt his heart skip in his chest, his stomach twist. Rei was okay, and he had to remember that! It was a simple dream, and had no bearing on actual events. Yet, his feet began to carry him towards the bed, his hand reaching out for Rei's sleeping form. A simple touch – just to make sure – would not hurt. He was just checking.
His hand grasped the blankets, slipping them down to Rei's shoulders. He was still asleep, his lips parted as he breathed, but otherwise not moving. Kai put one knee on the bed to get close enough to see through the oppressive darkness. He reached out, his hand shaking. If he touched Rei, would he disappear into smoke? What if he was still dreaming, and he had to watch Rei burn again? Kai closed his eyes and fire coursed towards him, and he felt the bile rise in his throat.
"…Kai? Kai, what's wrong?"
He opened his eyes when he felt two hands placed on his shoulders, comforting him. Rei stared up at him, his eyes full of worry. Kai drew in a quick breath, explosive heat sitting in his chest, his stomach filled with butterflies. Rei was touching him, which meant he was okay. He raised a cautious hand to Rei's cheek, feeling the soft skin beneath his fingers.
"It was another dream, wasn't it?" Rei asked. He made no move to stop Kai, or even turn away.
"How…?"
"Kai, I've shared a room with you since we've been teammates. At least once a week you dream. In your sleep, you cry out. I've seen you writhing in your bed. I never said anything, because I knew you wouldn't tell me about it. But what happened this time, to make you come here?" He moved one hand to Kai's, lowering it from his face. He held Kai's hand against his chest, shifting a little closer.
Another bubble of worry and guilt swelled into Kai's throat, choking him, but the warmth Rei gave off, and the feel of his steady heartbeat beneath his hand assured him that he was fine. It had just been a dream – a completely irrational dream.
He had never appeared before Rei with so little control, his facade completely shattered. With the knowledge that Rei was fine, he now feared the repercussions of this event far more.
There was no laughter though, and no taunts, only comfort and trust. Rei stared at him, worried for his well-being, and nothing more. He cared.
"In my dream, I hurt you. I…killed you. I watched you die, and there was nothing I could do to stop it."
Kai felt Rei's heart rate increase beneath his hand. Was he afraid? Kai waited for him to say something, but Rei granted him silence, as if asking him to continue.
"I've seen you get hurt before… My dreams show me the battle between you and Bryan, or of you getting hurt…but never by me."
"You weren't lying, when you said you were scared of hurting me."
"You asked for the truth, Rei, and I told you."
Rei gave his hand a squeeze in comfort. "Kai, you would never hurt me, let alone…"
"It's alright. It was just a dream."
Rei nodded. "It was just a dream. Quick, you'll catch a cold," he said, and held up the blankets, indicating that Kai should stay.
Kai looked at the blankets, and then slipped his hand from Rei. He slid under the covers, though his body still felt far too warm. He left the blankets pooled at his waist, lying back on the soft pillow. Rei smiled at him, staring down.
He felt a lot better now. His ludicrous fears had run away with him into the night. He should have known better. A dream was not capable of hurting him, or Rei. He closed his eyes, testing to see what happened.
Nothing. No flames, no screaming… Nothing.
A smile crept onto his lips, and he placed both hands behind his head, opening his eyes to look up at the ceiling through the darkness. Rei stared at nothing in particular, still sitting up. He knew Rei's eyesight was far better than his was in the dark.
"What's wrong?"
Rei looked over and shook his head. He slipped down, his head falling against the pillow, the feathers shuffling inside their casing. His eyes still shone through the darkness, and he seemed far away.
"Rei?"
"Hmm? Oh, it's nothing. Ah, Kai, you'll get cold. What happened to your shirt, anyway?" Rei attempted to tug the blankets higher around Kai's body, but he pushed them away, still feeling overheated. Rei only protested for a moment, before he gave up.
"Trust me, I'm not cold," Kai said. "Don't worry."
"That's what friends do. That's why you worry about me, isn't it?"
"That's why I'm acting like this," Kai said, his voice low. The last thing he wanted was for Rei to feel sorry for him.
"Kai… You act as though you're being irrational."
"I am. Completely."
"No, you're not. It's actually nice." Rei rolled onto his stomach, leaning on his elbows. His long hair tumbled over his shoulder and he buried his fingers into the dark strands.
"Nice? You have a strange definition of 'nice', then."
"Oh, don't get me wrong…it wasn't a nice dream. I mean about how you're acting. It's nice to see you acting like a normal person. Like you actually care."
"Hn. I suppose."
Rei smiled and shuffled closer, pulling the blankets with him. He hovered close to Kai, staring down at him again, though all Kai could see were those two golden orbs shining through the night. A twitch ran up the length of Kai's arm as Rei's hair tickled his wrist.
"Why didn't you ever talk to me before?"
"It was none of your concern."
"Of course it was! We're part of a team, but more importantly, I'm your friend."
"And how did you think you could help?"
Rei frowned. "Well you could have given me the chance."
Shame hit him, even though he could not see Rei's expression. The tone of his voice was enough to strike Kai to the core. He pushed himself up to sit. Rei stared at the cool sheets that covered the mattress, instead of looking up.
"Rei…" Kai put his hand on top of Rei's head. "I know I can talk to you."
"Then why don't you?" Rei asked. He slumped forward, laying his head in his arms, hiding his face.
Kai stared ahead into the black. Why did he keep secrets from Rei, if he insisted he was a friend? Rei kept secrets from him, too. Everyone kept secrets, so how could he expect Rei to be completely honest with him?
A hand slipped from the covers, curling around his arm, tugging on him. "Lay down, Kai. Get some sleep."
"Strangely enough, I'm not tired. Funny that."
"Don't be an ass."
Kai raised an eyebrow, glancing in Rei's direction. He still had his face hidden amongst his arms. He lowered himself back to the soft bed, resuming his previous position, his arms behind his head.
He expected Rei to say something else, or at least move, but he stayed where he was. Was he upset? He had no idea when the silence became uncomfortable, or when he decided to fill it.
"…I've always had these dreams," Kai said. He closed his eyes, assuming a new kind of darkness. "Or at least for as long as I can remember. They change a bit, but there is always fire. Tonight was the first time I hurt someone I cared about, though. It was also the first time that those same flames turned on me."
A rustle of blankets alerted Kai to Rei's movement. He kept his eyes closed. Rei did not make his body set off any alarms. He felt safe. When he felt a careful hand land on his chest, and Rei's soft hair fall around his neck, he accepted it. He felt so open and vulnerable, and if this had have been with anyone except Rei, he would have probably killed them. This was Rei, though. The weight of Rei's head on his shoulder seemed almost natural.
"If you have any more dreams, will you come to me?"
"…why?"
"If I can, I want to help you."
Kai felt Rei's arm slip around his chest, in an attempt to hug him in this awkward position. He forced himself to relax; he did enjoy the contact, and the comfort, but he was so unused to the physical touch of someone else, unless they were punching him in the face. If Rei noticed his hesitance at all, he made no mention, and nor did he back away.
He had never quite understood some things about Rei. If someone had have asked, Kai would not have said Rei was the type to hug someone to comfort them, unless, perhaps, that person was Mariah. What did he know about Rei, though? When he thought about it, he knew hardly anything, other than what they had been through together as a team. He had always suspected there was a lot more to Rei than he was showing.
They were so alike.
"Why do you hide things, Rei?"
Rei gave a slight jump, and Kai felt his body still against his own.
"I don't."
"Then why do I know so little about you?"
"Because no one has ever asked."
Kai flinched at the tone in Rei's voice; quiet, disappointed, and sad. Rei should not sound upset. "Well, I'm asking now. Tell me about…" He paused. What did he want to ask, knowing that he may only get one answer?
"Yes, Kai?"
"Tell me about how you grew up."
The silence settled as a dead weight between them. Rei had wanted him to ask, he had heard that keen tone in his voice. After all this time, Rei wanted to talk about his own life, and all the things he had been hiding. So why was this particular question such taboo?
"Rei?"
"It was fine. Good. Great! Can't complain."
Kai faltered. Was Rei trying to throw him off and end the conversation? Since he had used the same tactic time and time again, he knew full well what Rei was doing.
"Rei…"
"What? It was great. Happy times. There, I answered your question."
"You don't think I'm going to fall for that, do you?"
"It's the truth…"
"Don't lie to me. You're a terrible liar."
He felt Rei's body tense against his own, his fingers flicking with nervous energy, tickling the skin at his side.
"Maybe…it wasn't as great as I make out."
"Oh?"
"I grew up…in a training camp. They took kids like me in, taught them martial arts, self-discipline, that sort of thing. They also taught us to BeyBattle, as part of our regime. I spent almost my whole life there. They told me I had been there since I was a baby, along with Lee. We grew up together like brothers. The earliest memory I have is being with Lee."
"Then it wasn't all bad."
"Of course not! It's just not exactly what people think, is it? It was a lot of hard work. Despite being with so many people, I had no real family, and that's why the White Tiger's are so important to me! I'll always think of Lee as my brother, someone who watched out for me and cared for me. Sometimes, though, you just want to be normal… I don't want all these expectations on me, because I was their Golden Child. I just wanted a normal life, with a normal family…"
A heavy sigh swept past Rei's lips, and Kai felt the warmth brush his skin.
"Early mornings, and late nights…with a lot of hard work in between. When I was young, the work seemed so hard. They made us sweep the courtyards, which went for miles, and by the end of the day my back ached, and my hands were full of splinters. When I got older, they trained us to fight, and to Blade. Everything was about training, to make our bodies and minds stronger and in control. Sometimes I hurt so much that I could barely move."
Kai bit at his lower lip. Rei spoke of his life, of the Abbey, the training, and the complete opposite of anything normal. Now, it seemed that in some aspects he was better off than Rei. Kai heard Rei pull in a shaky breath, and a slight turn of his head brought him nestled against Kai's shoulder.
Kai knew that somewhere inside himself, he felt a connection that had not been there before. It was something he and Rei had in common now, deeper than BeyBlading, and deeper than being teammates. Along the way, their lives had taken very similar paths, and they had met in the middle, as if it was destined to happen. In the darkness, he felt closer to Rei than he ever thought possible.
He had never expected this.
"Kai?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you not tell the others? It doesn't matter whether they know or not."
Kai glanced down. The black hair that covered his shoulder hid Rei's face from view, though he doubted his ability to see much other than the color black. He shifted, his hand moving from where it had rested, and a gentle sweep forward pushed the locks of silken hair from Rei's brow. Golden eyes were full of curiosity, staring up at him as he settled his arm around Rei's shoulders.
"It's not my place to say anything to them."
Rei settled back, and Kai could imagine the huge weight that lifted from his shoulders, now that he had told someone his secret past. Kai was content to be a wall; somewhere Rei could lean as he regained his strength. He did so in silence, listening to the rhythm of Rei's breath echo his own.
It only took Kai a moment to realize Rei was not asleep. Rei fidgeted a lot more when he slept, tugging at the blankets, and curling his feet. He was too still at the moment.
"Can I ask you something, too?"
Kai shifted, which only made Rei tighten the hold he had around his chest.
"It's only fair. Y'know, like a game. I tell you something about me, and then you tell me something about you."
"I'm not into games, Rei."
"Oh, do you have to be so moody? Do you ever take anything lightly?"
"No."
Kai could imagine Rei rolling his eyes. Whether he did or not, Kai would never know.
"Alright. What do you want to know?"
"…tell me about Tala."
"I thought this was about me."
"I want to know what Tala means to you. I know enough about Tala already."
"What do you want to know that for?"
"I didn't ask you that. Besides, I think it's fair, since I told you about Lee."
Kai's chest rose and fell as he sighed, and the tail of Rei's delicate hair fell across his skin, sending a shiver up his spine. He realized that laying this close to Rei had its advantages; it was easy to read his teammates slight actions through the close contact.
"Tala and I never really agreed on anything. I suppose there was a pretty good reason for that. Maybe he was jealous, or just competitive. We spent more time ignoring each other than talking. He had his team, and I was never part of it."
"Did you hate him?"
"No…I don't think so. Perhaps slight animosity, but nothing more than that. I'm just as competitive."
"No kidding," Rei said and he could not help the laugh that escaped him. "It's just there are so many rumors about you two. About that whole team, actually."
"As long as they're not anything like the rumors about you and Mariah."
Rei raised his head from Kai's shoulder, enough so that he could stare. "Oh? Which rumor would that be?"
"You two aren't…dating, are you?"
"You're joking, right?"
"I'm asking."
Rei lowered his head back to the place against Kai's shoulder. "No we are certainly not dating. Mariah is like a sister to me!"
"But you two are close. You can see why people would jump to conclusions."
"Mariah is very important to me. I would do anything for her, even if it went against my own wishes. She needs me to look after her and be there for her, and I always will be."
"But you two aren't…"
"Dating? No way. I suppose Mariah is pretty, but I'm not really interested. Besides, it would be so weird! I just don't think about her like that."
"And her? What does she think?"
"I…don't know. Mariah will always seem like a little girl to me."
"A lot can change in a few years. You never know what might happen."
"Yeah, and maybe one day you'll be best friends with Tala."
Kai reached down and pulled up the blankets to cover them both. It was cold, now that his temperature had returned to normal. He had little reason to wonder why Rei was huddled so close.
"Thanks," he said. Warm and comfortable, Kai saw the edge of his vision blur as sleep crept up on him through the darkness, and he felt Rei's gentle fingers trace along his neck and curl into the hair at the back of his head.
"It's alright. I should be thanking you. You put up with me and my silly questioning."
"Why did you ask?"
"Because…I want to get to know you."
Kai felt the somewhat familiar tingle of happiness blossom in him as he smiled. He tilted his head, and the slight motion granted him access to the exotic aroma that he had come to identify with Rei, the dark hairs tickling his nose and skin. "You already know me."
"Perhaps I do," Rei said. "But it doesn't hurt."
Even with his current clouded judgment, Kai tended to agree. If this late night conversation had never have happened, the connection they now shared may have gone unnoticed. He never thought that he would actually be thankful for having a heart‑to‑heart conversation with someone.
"I'm sorry for waking you. I was…" Kai could not bring himself to admit that he had been scared. It just seemed so pathetic.
"I don't mind. There's plenty of time to sleep." Rei smothered a yawn against his own arm. "So go to sleep, okay? There's no need to get up early."
"You know you like early mornings just as much as me."
"Not if I haven't had enough sleep the night before." Rei pushed up, away from Kai.
His patience tonight was unlimited. The way that Rei stared at him went almost unnoticed, but the gentle fingers on his cheek did not. Through the darkness he could just make out the line of Rei's features, but his shining eyes were, as always, most prominent.
"I never said it before…but you look a lot better without those blue marks," Rei said. His fingers traced the area that blue paint covered during the day.
"And you look a lot better with your hair unbound." Kai pulled at some of the black strands that swayed against his chest.
A warm smile crossed Rei's lips. "Mariah says that as well. It's completely impractical though. Lee thinks I should just cut it off."
"As if you ever would."
Rei sat in silence for a moment, and Kai could only marvel at how warm his fingers felt against his skin. That warmth flooded from Rei, spreading through his veins. It reminded him of his dream, and the way the fire plagued his body. However, this was different; it was pleasant, and he doubted any consequences would be dangerous.
"If you go to sleep…ignore anything you might see in your dreams, Kai."
"I don't think I'll have that dream again."
"Even so. I'm not going anywhere. They're just dreams."
Kai froze as Rei leant closer, and his body temperature changed from warm to hot once more. The touch of Rei's lips upon his cheek was unexpected and fleeting, the brief contact leaving his skin flushed, tingling with sensation. Rei pulled away, saying nothing, and returned to his spot next to Kai, nestling his head against his neck where he seemed to be most comfortable.
After a moment of deliberation, Kai slipped his hand to Rei's waist. He had a suspicion he would wake up with no feeling in the limb, but he thought little of it. Rei was more than comfortable, his toes twitching and curling against Kai's leg. The warmth of Rei's breath fell against his skin, a steady beat lulling him further into sleep, despite how his mind whirled with new information and sensations. The darkness claimed him with a sudden determination, strengthened by the tenderness that Rei provided; a gentle seduction that he succumbed to with ease.