HARRY POTTER, the Musical! Chapter 2: American Idiot, a harry potter fanfic

There she was. With him. What was Ginny doing with him anyway? Harry thought. Was she trying to get back at him for breaking up with her last year? But that didn't sound like Ginny. She'd seemed much more understanding about why he had to put of their relationship at the beginning of the summer. And she hadn't been anything less than polite to him when Harry had come to the Burrow shortly after that. So then what was Ginny doing with this guy?

It wasn't just that Ginny had apparently moved on that was bothering Harry. It was also the fact that the guy Ginny had moved on to had a reputation for abusing the girls he dated. There were so many horror stories about what this guy did on first dates with his "girlfriends". So then what was Ginny doing dating him? His last girlfriend had had to be sent to Saint Mungo's!

"What are you doing here?" Harry looked down to see Ginny looking suspiciously up at him, her question invading his thoughts and scattering them so that he couldn't quite remember what he was doing hiding behind this suit of armor outside the Great Hall.

And then he saw him walking away with a smug look on his face, and Harry remembered why he was there: he had been going to breakfast and come across Ginny and… him… snogging in the shadows further down the hall. Unable to take his eyes off of the disgusting sight, Harry had hidden behind the suit of armor with the intent to wait the kiss out so that he could pop out and shame Ginny into her senses.

So why was he the one so ashamed now? Harry felt the blush rising on his cheeks as he responded to Ginny's question in the most innocent voice he could tempt from his dry throat, "Me? What am I doing here? Absolutely nothing."

Ginny raised her eyebrows at him, nodding skeptically. "You were doing absolutely nothing… while hiding behind a suit of armor. Yeah, Harry, that makes perfect sense."

Harry stepped out from behind the suit of armor, deciding to bite the bullet and just say what was bothering him. This wasn't just about Ginny moving on and dating some other guy; it was about making sure her new guy didn't end up hurting her. Harry had to protect her.

After he cleared his throat, Harry asked, "What are you doing with that guy, Ginny?"

Ginny sighed, as if she had been expecting this. She shook her head and sat down by the suit's feet, gesturing for Harry to join her. "I'm just having a bit of fun with him, Harry. It's nothing serious or anything. I just need someone to help me forget… to help me… to…"

Harry saw that Ginny was struggling for words, but he couldn't help her; he was too busy struggling to keep down the song that was trying to escape from the back of his throat.

Harry lost the struggle, and the song began as he sang in his horrible singing voice:

"Maybe he'll change. Maybe things will get better. Maybe it would be nice if he wouldn't always put you down. Maybe things will work out, but maybe they'll never, and I think that you've given him the benefit of the doubt."

Harry stood, gaining courage in the fact that the corridor he and Ginny were in was completely empty except for them.

"You need that boy like a bowling ball dropped on your head, which means not at all. You have too much to give to live to waste your time on him! You need that boy like a bowling ball dropped on your head, which means not at all. You have too much to give to live to waste your time on him!"

"Maybe he'll change if you could be better. But maybe it's not your fault he's checking out the waitress now. But someday you'll change, one day you're stronger, and you will have changed enough that it's time to get out!"

To Harry's horror, the Great Hall began to empty. Kids poured out as breakfast ended, all of them headed down the corridor where Harry was still being forced to sing to Ginny. As he finished singing the chorus yet again, a lot of the students walking towards the suit of armor where Harry was singing to a stunned Ginny—most of whom were Slytherins, including Malfoy and his entire gang—started to take notice of the horrible noise erupting from the Chosen One's throat.

"You need that boy like a bowling ball dropped on your head, which means not at all. You have too much to give to live to waste your time on him!" Harry finished the song, wishing he was still hidden behind the suit of armor where no one except those observant enough could see him.

Suddenly, Ron was at Harry's side, and he began a new song. This song was considerably slower than Harry's, although the one thing that shocked the Slytherins into laughter was: Ronald Weasley was rapping.

"You hate men is what you say, and I understand how you feel that way. All girls dream of a fairytale, but what you've got's like a used car salesman trying to conceal what's wrong behind a smile and a song, and I'm not saying that boys are not like that!"

Surprising even himself, Harry found himself rapping in the margin Ron provided in the song at this point: "What are you talking about, baby?" Harry wished with everything he had that he could take back that last word, since he wasn't sure if that line in the song had been addressing Ron or Ginny.

It didn't seem to matter, because Ron continued the song: "But I think you should know that some of us will grow because:"

Here Harry found himself singing again, except now he was providing Ron with background noises: "Ooo-WOO-ooooooo!" over and over again.

And Ron just kept on rapping, "All princes start as frogs, and all gentlemen as dogs. Just wait 'till it's plain to see what we're growing up to be. 'Cuz some frogs will still be frogs, and some dogs will still be dogs. Some boys can become men, just don't kiss us 'till then!"

At the same time that Ron ended his rap, Harry finished with the "Ooo-WOO-oooooo!"'s that had been causing raucous laughter to bubble up from the throats of all of the students gathered in the corridor. Harry thought he could even see some of the teachers in the back of the crowd, laughing away.

The only person who wasn't laughing was Hermione, who ran in at that moment to grab Harry and Ron each by an arm and yank them in the direction of the library, which was probably the only place they could ever escape the laughter of the entire school thanks to Madame Pince's oversensitive ears and über-strict rules about the maintenance of silence. The whole way to the library, Harry heard Hermione muttering angrily to herself. He could hear the words "horrible", "unnecessary", "music", "embarrassing", and "McGonagall" repeated many times over in this quick succession of words spewing from the angry girl's mouth, but he could never hear much more than that. And it was only in the library that Hermione pulled a book off of a bookshelf and opened it to a bookmarked page, pointing furiously at a specific line:

The incantation Infortunium carmen causes the caster's victim and the people around them to sing songs that pertain to situations they find themselves in naturally. The spell is made even more annoying by the fact that the songs the victim is forced to sing are Muggle songs rather than songs by magical singing groups. This spell is one of the most annoying incantations known to man, created as a joke by…

The book went on and on about the history of the creation of the spell and so on and so forth, but Harry didn't bother to read any of that. This was why he and everyone else at Hogwarts was randomly singing Muggle songs! But why would Professor McGonagall cast this spell on the students of Hogwarts? And what on earth was the counter-spell?

How could this day possibly be getting any worse? Harry thought to himself as Professor McGonagall led him to the headmistress office. She had pulled him out of double potions looking slightly haggard, and on the way she had explained that the Minister of Magic was here, for one last go at getting Harry to campaign for the Ministry.

"I won't do it," Harry had responded to the headmistress resolutely. "I told him last year that I wouldn't do it, and I won't do it now."

Professor McGonagall had stopped walking from her brisk pace when she heard this, and spun around to face the seventeen-year-old boy with an almost pleading look on her face. "Potter," she had said, "I am not going to ask you to campaign for the Ministry. The Minister never even said that was what he was here for—although I don't know who he's fooling, Mr. I-Just-Stopped-By-For-A-Chat-Oh-Yes-And-Where's-Young-Harry. I just need you to be polite."

Harry had scowled. "I'll only be polite to him if he returns the favor," he had responded stubbornly.

McGonagall had continued leading Harry towards the headmistress's office, all the while impressing upon him the importance of maintaining a respectful demeanor. After all, it had taken a lot of begging and pleading for McGonagall to be allowed to keep the school open this year, especially after the death of Dumbledore last year. Although the Ministry had agreed to let Hogwarts remain, the Minister had made it abundantly clear that he could end the term early if the need arose.

So when McGonagall finally opened the door at the top of the moving staircase to the headmistress's office, it was with a hearty smile that Harry Potter greeted the man who just wouldn't give up on the idea of using him to calm the masses into ignorance.

"Ah, yes, there he is!" the Minister greeted Harry with an outstretched hand, which Harry shook with as firm a grip as he dared. He wanted this man to know that he was still Dumbledore's man, through and through. "How is school this year, Mr. Potter?"

Harry tried to keep his eyes from narrowing into slits. He knew exactly what the Minister was doing: he was gently reminding Harry that the fate of this school remained in the pocket of the Ministry, and that one wrong answer—and a vote from the heavily bribed Board of Directors, of course—would mean an end to Hogwarts.

"School is fine," Harry said, feeling his smile turn to plastic on his face. "How is life in the Ministry?"

The Minister have McGonagall a look, and the headmistress left the two alone in the office. Then the leader of the British wizarding government turned to face Harry and asked, "I would just like to know once and for all that your decision is final on this: are you certain that you would not like to help the Ministry maintain calm by showing your support? It wouldn't be that difficult; maybe just a visit to the Ministry every now and then, a picture with the press here and there…"

Harry realized with horror what was coming. He could feel it in the base of his throat. The words were pounding in his head, begging to be sung. Except Harry knew that he couldn't sing this song to the Minister of Magic. McGonagall would never forgive him; he would be stuck in detention with her every night for the rest of his life, even the ones he spent after he left Hogwarts.

At the same time, a part of Harry did want to sing this song to the Minister. It would certainly get his point across, and McGonagall had left him alone in the room with the Minister.

Besides, Harry thought, if she was this concerned, then she should never have placed this curse or jinx or whatever it is on me and the rest of the school.

And with that, Harry opened his mouth and started to sing:

"Don't wanna be an American idiot! Don't want a nation to judge the new media. And can you hear the sound of hysteria? The subliminal mind flower America.

"Welcome to a new kind of tension all across the Aryan nation. Everything isn't meant to be okay. Television dreams of tomorrow, we're not the ones you're meant to follow. For that's enough to argue.

"Well maybe I'm the favorite America. I'm not a part of a redneck agenda. Now everybody do the propaganda. And sing along to the age of paranoia.

"Don't wanna be an American idiot! One nation controlled by the media. Information age of hysteria, it's calling out to idiot America!

Although the song Harry finished wasn't very appropriate, word-wise, he managed to change the worst of the words to less offensive terms to keep his insult of the Minister down to a minimum. However, the Minister just looked confusedly down at the insane boy in front of him, wondering whether a trip to Saint Mungo's might be in order.

Songs used in this fanfiction:

1) "Bowling Ball" by Superchick
2) "Song 4 Tricia (Princes and Frogs)" by Superchick
3) "American Idiot" by Greenday

I hope you liked this chapter. I'm really not satisfied with it, but I needed to post something so you all wouldn't give up on me! I'm sorry for the long wait between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. I honestly don't know when I'll have Chapter 3 ready, because I have so much that I need to do and so much that I need to sort through in my head (not just relating to fanfictions; I actually do have a life, you know!). I hope this satisfies you enough, though. And I promised you "American Idiot" so there you go! Please review and tell me what you think so far, even if you didn't like it. ESPECIALLY if you didn't like it, so I can try to improve it!