Slowly and cautiously, Shujinkou raised a steaming porcelain cup up to his face. Continuing his slow movements, he brought it closer to his lips and took a sip of the tea it held. He immediately felt a calming effect take hold as he placed it back on his coaster.
"You know, I kinda feel like I haven't had tea made by you in awhile," he said.
"I do believe it has been a while. I haven't really thought about it much though…" Yuri replied. "So… You wanted to talk more about what has been going on?"
"Yeah. I guess I'll start with the more personal one," Shujinkou anxiously scratched. Even though she insisted that he could share his problems with her, it was still awkward admit what he was about to tell her. "I kinda saw scenes of you, Natsuki and Sayori dying."
Yuri's eyes lit up with surprise. "You saw scenes of our deaths?"
"Yeah. Sayori hung herself, Natsuki had a broken neck and you stabbed yourself to death."
"Oh… That's…" Yuri remained silent as she processed what she just heard. "I could see why something like that would upset you. I can also see why you were reluctant to say anything about it."
"Yeah… But those weren't the only ones. I had one of this daydream I had once except it felt like I was actually there instead of just dreaming and I even ended up somehow in the world of a fan game. The first three were uncomfortable to say the least but the other ones were just confusing. I wouldn't really give them much thought if I wasn't even there.
Plus there was this one of Monika that really strange."
"Strange how?"
Shujinkou recalled the exact emotion he felt when he first experienced that particular vision. "It was just… creepy."
"I see… I can honestly see why despite what you saw, the experience would be overall unsettling," Yuri sympathized.
"Yeah. Not to mention that overall I just feel a little… I feel detached from everything. Sometimes simple things make me feel like I'm experiencing something that I don't understand."
"I see…"
"For example, saying 'I see' for some reason is making me think about that fan game daydream."
"Ah… sorry."
"No need to apologize. It's just that it's weird."
"Um… Yuri briefly averted her gaze. Her cheeks faintly grew red as she intensely stared into Shujinkou's eyes. "There was something else that you said bothered you. You said that you were acting just like your father would in regards to women."
"Uh-!" Shujinkou scratched his right cheek. I may have said more than I was supposed to again.
"That wouldn't be referring to Mali constantly referring to how we all possess strong feelings for you, would it?"
"Yeah… You think she's right?"
"I would believe so. I could tell by how the others interact with and look at you so…"
"So, Mali really was right after all…" Shujinkou sighed.
"I mean, you shouldn't take my word for it," Yuri insisted. "I'm just assuming myself and you know that I'm not always the best at reading people's emotions. There's only one way to truly know."
"But if it's true, then h…?" Shujinkou shook the question he asked over and over again out of his head. "I want to ask 'how' but that would be pretty stupid of me at this point, even if my answer is nothing but assumptions without confirmations."
"I can understand having a hard time acknowledging something like this. Not too long ago, I couldn't really see another reason why I was invited to our club for any other reason than a simple statistic or why you would treat someone who was so uncertain and slow at talking as a friend."
"But… I honestly don't know how to feel about this. Even without the other things, I still don't think I would know how to feel. And that itself is confusing. Shouldn't I know what to feel?"
Yuri closed her eyes, reminiscing every interaction she witnessed Shujinkou had.
"Well, you've spent a long time looking down on yourself for a long time… It's safe to assume that the idea of you being in a romantic relationship with another, right? I'm sure you've denied it ever happening before."
"Yeah, I did. It's only recently that I realized that I had no real reason to think that way."
"That's good to hear."
Shujinkou shot her a surprised and quizzical look.
"No-! I mean-! It's- It's good that you're not looking down on yourself as much," Yuri stammered." But it's safe to say that you've looked down on yourself so much and buried some of your emotions and personal issues deep inside that it's entirely possible that you wouldn't understand how you felt right away anyway."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, sometimes emotions and one's feelings towards a certain subject can remain hidden from them, whether they refuse to accept it or just can't understand it on a conscious level.
When we first met, you were able to freely give compliments never truly accepted any your way as if you adamantly refused too. With you also denying the possibility of you ever ending up in a romantic relationship with anyone, you most likely unintentionally trained yourself to not understand whether or not your feelings for someone go beyond friendship.
And while it's possible to for that to be remedied, the other issues that currently plague you also takes precedence in your mind and splits your concentration several ways. Then there's also the fact that you're just recently seeing yourself in a better light which means you instinctively fight old bad habits while also worried about what would happen to the friendship you built with everyone while…"
A sorrowful look suddenly crossed Yuri's face. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? What for?" Shujinkou queried.
"I told you my true feelings for you because I thought it would help, but now I see that I've just added another issue for you to face. Even if you're not thinking about it now, you're most likely going to feel pressured to answer my confession somehow. I was trying to help and I just added to the cavalcade."
"That's not true, you did help me," he assured her. "It reminded me that I do have friends I can share my burdens with so…"
Shujinkou scratched his right cheek. He didn't know what more to say on that point.
"I don't really know about the reason you gave about me not knowing my own feelings though. It's possible. I have denied ever being in a relationship because I looked down on myself that much but not knowing my own emotions kinda sounds like an excuse someone makes to get out of a confession."
"Well, I can't really explain it from personal experience. The only references I have to the subject are from fictional characters. But it's also to important to remember that everyone is different. What's an excuse for one person is a truth for another," Yuri reminded him.
"Mali did say I couldn't fathom it. Maybe the shock is what's keeping me from understanding my own feelings because at this point I don't understand anything," Shujinkou theorized. "I honestly feel like everything I thought I've ever understood has been done away with. I know that happens in life but it pretty much happened all at once. "
"Well… What's important is that you figure out a way to conquer these challenges you currently face. A way to deal with these visions and restore your understanding of your life."
Shujinkou's face lit up with surprise. He was sure she forgot something. "But what about-?"
"It would really be best for you if you didn't focus on that right now..." Yuri interjected. "It's really should be the least of your concerns."
"But… Telling me another's feelings should be the least of my concerns… I don't know about that."
"I would be lying if I said that a part of me didn't want that to be your full focus, but…" Yuri once again briefly averted her gaze. A smile that he could only describe as a combination of sorrow and acceptance formed on her lips as she reestablished eye contact. "But as your friend I'm more concerned about your well-being then something like that."
"Yuri…" Shujinkou solemnly scratched his right cheek. If she was going to go that far then he couldn't answer with anything but, "Okay, I'll try."
"Mm… Well then…" She noticeably fidgeted before suddenly standing up. "I guess I'll excuse myself then."
"Huh? You're leaving already?"
"I feel like my presence would just be a distraction in regards to what you need to really focus on, so it would be best to remove myself from the board so to speak."
"Oh. I get it…"
"Well… I guess I'll go now."
The young maiden turned and headed for the front door.
"Yuri…"
Turning around, she answered with a curious "Yes?"
"Um…" Shujinkou anxiously scratched his right cheek before suddenly smiling. "Thanks."
With a bright smile, Yuri nodded her head and left.
Now that he was alone, Shujinkou crossed his arms and began to ponder his next move.
Yuri suggested that I ignore the possibility that the other like me that way like she does. But that's really easier said than done. I mean objectively, I should do that last. Once I figure the other things out then I'll be in a better frame of mind to do that. My head should be at its best when dealing with that. Still… I don't think I have it in me to just completely ignore that fact. It just seems wrong to pretend it doesn't exist at all even just for a moment.
But what can I do? I don't know what to do. That's the issue. Every time I try to figure something out, I keep arriving at the same place. It's not like these are things others can solve for me. Even with help, I still have figure something out myself. I don't know… Besides Yuri, I don't really have any evidence that the others feel that way about me, so that case kinda feels like it's closed for now. So, I guess for know I have no choice but not to deal with it. It's not like I can just go up to them and askif they feel that way about me. I may have to figure that one out as I go.
As for these visions, they started happening the day after the other Monika ended up here. I could just be going insane or my old daydreaming habits have kicked it up to high gear in comparison to before, but the timing is just too coincidental. Not to mention, they feel too real. Could it be because of Monika's arrival? If I use fictional crossover logic, then arriving had to shatter the barrier that usually separates the different dimensions. Since Monika didn't arrive here on purpose, then something had to have happened to bring her here.
Whether natural or artificial, it wasn't consensual and those kinds of spatial crossovers can possibly have a negative effect on the multiverse as a whole. If her arrival left some cracks in the barrier, could it be possibly those visions I see are a result of those cracks? If and if that's true…
Recalling the first three visions he saw, Shujinkou sorrowfully scratched his right cheek in respect.
I wonder if the other Monika had to deal with these too. Actually, wasn't that her in the one I saw during our date?
"Ah! I haven't talked to her yet since last night!" he exclaimed. "I went on a date… There's no way I can ignore the possible feelings part after that… Ugh… I'm really acting like my father right now…"
…
Pressing the doorbell to attached to her home, Shujinkou patiently waited in front of Monika's front door for an answer.
I wonder what the first thing I should say to the other Monika. Should I start off talking about the date or do I work my way to it. I also want to ask if she's had those same visions as me. She hasn't shown any signs like I assume I do like staring into space, but I'm not the most subtle person most of the time.
The door soon opened and he was greeted with the sight of Monika. Well, a Monika.
"Hey, Shujinkou," she warmly greeted.
"Hey, um…" Shujinkou awkwardly scratched his right cheek.
"This reality's Monika."
"Hey, Monika."
"What brings you around?"
"Um, there's something I wanted to ask the other Monika."
"Oh. Well, she stepped out for a second. You can wait inside for her if you want."
"Okay."
Monika led her gust inside and towards the living room couch. She sat down and motioned him to do the same. An awkward atmosphere hung over them as they waited in silence."
"So… What do you think of the sudden time off from school?" Monika asked.
"Strange, but I guess there's gotta be a good reason for it," Shujinkou answered.
"You would think but Fuyu said it was completely out of nowhere?"
"But would the administration even tell the council president everything."
"I assume not, but this would seem like the kind of thing they would tell her."
He did find it strange, but his thoughts on the subject were quickly eclipsed by his surprise over another awkward silence inserting itself into their brief conversation. It felt like something heavy was weighing down on both of them.
"Are you okay?" they simultaneously asked.
"Huh?" Shujinkou scratched his right cheek.
"I guess we both have something that's bothering us," Monika said.
"Um… Did something happen?"
"Well…" Monika glanced down at her right index finger. "It sounds ridiculous but, for a split second, it seemed like my finger was fading away."
"Fading away?"
"Yeah… I could see right through it but it went back to normal. I asked Monika, she said she didn't see anything."
"Maybe she wasn't paying attention."
"No. She was looking right at it. I guess my eyes were just playing tricks on me, but it felt so real."
"Oh. I hope it's not like what's been going on with me."
"What's been bothering you?"
"Well…"
Shujinkou proceeded to explain everything that's happened to him lately san the discovery that she along with his other friends may possess strong feelings for him.
"Visions of deaths and anime animatronics?" Monika marveled.
"And that daydream where I had a magical sword," Shujinkou added.
"And a vision of me creepily staring at you with the words 'Just Monika' coming out of nowhere? That one is oddly specific and, like our friends deaths, a little unsettling."
Those two words did more than just unnerve her though. Just hearing them felt like a punch to the gut for some reason.
"And you think that this has something to do with the other me's arrival here?" she asked.
"Not her exactly, I just think however she got here is causing me to see these things," he explained. "It's either that or I'm starting to lose my grip on reality, which is ironic considering that I tried doing that before."
"I wouldn't say you're going crazy, especially considering that we do have a visitor from another reality here and fictional crossover rules do allow what is happening to you when it comes to fracturing the spatial barrier between worlds."
Shujinkou's face was filled with amazement as he awkwardly scratched his right cheek. "I thought the same thing, but hearing from you actually makes it sound scientific and credible."
"Wasn't trying, but thank you," Monika happily giggled.
"But it's because of that idea that I wanted to ask the other you if she's been dealing with the same thing since she's the one who crossed over and everything."
"I haven't really noticed any signs. She did say she couldn't sleep the first night she was here, but that's it."
"Couldn't sleep? That could just be because she's stuck in another world…"
Shujinkou could understand that. A lot of people have a hard time sleeping in places they haven't ever done so before, so sleeping in another dimension with no clear way back home had to make it even harder. Thinking this led credence to his theory that she may be hiding her feelings about being stuck her.
"By the way, Shujinkou…" Monika suddenly said.
Brought back from his thoughts, he answered with a simple, "Yeah?"
"I heard from Sayori last night that you went somewhere that required formal clothing."
"Yeah…" Shujinkou started scratching his right cheek in a nervous fashion.
"Monika also went somewhere that required formal clothing last night."
"Yeah…?"
"Did you two go somewhere together?"
"Uhm…" Shujinkou quickly dug into his pocket and pulled a small, white oval shaped object. He immediately slipped it into his mouth; the moment it graced his tongue, his body dropped to the floor like a brick.
"Shujinkou?" Monika curiously looked over the body spread out across the ground. "Shujinkou… Did you knock yourself out with a mint?"
The young man opened his eyes and slowly returned to his original position on the couch.
"I was kind of hoping the placebo effect would take place if I imagined it was a tranquilizer," Shujinkou solemnly scratched his right cheek. "I know you asked me a question, but I've been asked some many questions that resulted in me going 'ah! Eh?! Guh! Erk! Uh! And Um…' that if I didn't do something like that, I may break."
"Oh."
Shujinkou continued to scratch his right cheek. "And by doing so, I still pretty much answered your question, huh?"
"Mm-hmm," Monika nodded her head.
"Right… I'm sure Kiyoko also knew right away what I was doing last night, but she acted like she didn't."
"So… You went on a date with an alternate version of me."
Even though the answer was in the open, Shujinkou still couldn't bring himself to directly answer that question. "I… I can neither confirm nor deny that."
"She made you promise to keep a secret, didn't she?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny that."
"Hm… That's…" Monika's cheek faintly grew red. "So, that's why I've been feeling envious."
"Envious?" Shujinkou could feel his heart slowly pick up the pace. "Envious of what?"
"That another version of me did something I would've liked to do with you so easily."
"Wha?!"
Shujinkou's heart started to race. In just a short amount of time, he had essentially received a second confession.
"You wanted to go on a date with me?"
"Mm-hmm." Monika confirmed.
Hearing that definitive confirmation deprived Shujinkou of his vocabulary for a moment, but once he found his center, he soon realized that this was probably his only chance to ask a certain question Monika Prime got him thinking about.
"Have… Have we gone on dates before?"
"I don't know. Have we?" Monika asked back.
"Well, I mean, those times we went out together. They could have just been friends hanging out, but, especially the picnic by a waterfall, could have been dates."
"I know. I deliberately left them open-ended."
"How come?"
A simple smile crossed Monika's face. "Because spending time with you is nice no matter the circumstances."
The speed of Shujinkou's heart beats increased even more. He was left so awestruck by what he had heard that he couldn't even scratch his right cheek.
I think… I think my heart is going to give out soon…
He then violently slapped his cheeks.
"Shujinkou?"
"I was trying to see if I wasn't in an extended vision. At this point, I'm starting to have a hard time believing that this really happening."
"Is it really hard for you to believe?"
That's exactly what the other Monika said. Shujinkou weakly chuckled. "Lately, not much."
"Really? Is it because of the date with the other me or did something else happen?"
"Both."
"Hm…"
Before another word could be said, Shujinkou heard his phone ringer go off. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered the call.
After waiting for a couple of seconds, Fuyu's face appeared on the screen.
"Hey, Fuyu."
Looking closer, he noticed that the student council president was currently wearing a familiar and iconic green cap.
"Is that Link's cap?"
"Hm? Oh!" she quickly removed the cap from her head and adjusted her glasses.
"Was that for Halloween?" Monika asked.
"I was dabbling with costume possibilities…" she quickly answered. "Moving on, I was just calling to inform you two, well originally you two separately, that there's no school on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday either?"
"Really? How come?" Monika asked.
"I honestly can't tell you. It's just happening out of nowhere…" Fuyu sighed.
"They're… The school's not going to take this time out of our Christmas Break, are they," Shujinkou nervously questioned.
"I wouldn't put it past any school to do that," Fuyu answered with another sigh. I'm not going to pretend like I know everything but it's really strange that I'm learning this at the last second. It honestly feels like I'm an afterthought."
"I wonder if Mali would know something," Shujinkou thought aloud.
"Mali?" Monika shot Shujinkou a quizzical stare.
"Mali seems like she has a tendency to know things or can find a way to know things. I honestly think she's our school information broker," Shujinkou replied.
Fuyu gently removed her glasses from her face and begun cleaning it with a cleaning cloth. "Speaking of Mali… I meant to tell you about how she obtained that club room for you."
"So, there was more to the story then her just finding it?" Monika asked.
"Considerably. You see, it was originally occupied by the Supernatural Studies Club."
"We have a Supernatural Studies Club?" Shujinkou scratched his right cheek as he tried to wrap his head around that fact. "I feel like that should be more well-known."
"Yes. It's only previous member was a boy named Nese. It turns out Mali did something that convinced him to give up the clubroom."
"You mean our clubroom was taken from someone else?" Shujinkou could hear the sadness in Monika's voice.
"Yes, but you shouldn't feel guilty over it," Fuyu assured her.
"How come?"
"I found out about this when he came complaining about the entire situation. Unfortunately for him, him bring up his club to my attention wasn't good for him."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know how a club needs members to be official and offered club benefits? Of course if the number goes below that after the fact, we won't denounce the club, but it turns out that the club was technically never official in the first place.
Apparently he used the names of his classmates that were never part of it to fake being official and took advantage of club benefits. He spent club funds on frivolous things and was hogging a club room to himself."
"How did you find this out?" Shujinkou asked.
"President-Mode me has her ways. He didn't even last 5 seconds."
"Oh…" Shujinkou felt nothing but sympathy towards those that were on the wrong side of that side's gaze.
"Revealed everything. Turns out it was some convoluted attempt to get Monika to notice him," she continued.
"Me?" Monika gasped.
"Mali even provided a character witness of him saying that while even admitting to what she had done to offer validity to her claims."
"So, Mali scared someone who was doing something wrong in order to free up a clubroom," Shujinkou synopsized.
"Exactly. Something that would usually be wrong proved to be beneficial to the school and you guys," Fuyu gently put her glasses back on her face. "I also can't help but wonder if Mali specifically targeted him just because she noticed something off with his club."
"I could see that being the reason," Shujinkou said. "I wonder if that's an example of the morals she was talking about."
"Either way, it's good that she at least directed her prankster nature to something somewhat positive. Hm?"
Fuyu's eyes drifted away from the screen. "Okay."
"What happened?" Monika asked.
"Rei just informed me of something I have to take care of. I gotta go."
"Oh, well see you later."
"See ya, Fuyu," Shujinkou added.
"Bye guys. Oh and Rei says hi."
"Tell her we said hi back," Monika happily replied.
"Will do."
Those were the last words said before the call ended.
"I guess Mali still has that prankster side to her," Shujinkou thought aloud. "I hope she doesn't try anything too drastic on Halloween. I honestly couldn't blame her for not resisting the urge on that night."
"Someone faked official club status as a way to grab my attention…" Monika lowered her head. "I don't know how to feel about that."
Shujinkou awkwardly scratched his right cheek. Any form of comfort he could think of would just be justifying Nese's actions.
"Not to mention, it's kinda embarrassing for both of us to hear that after expressing my interest in you," she continued.
"I've been there when it comes to awkward timing…" Shujinkou sympathized.
"But…" she glanced up at him with an nervous look on her face. "Speaking of interest… Maybe we co-"
The sound of a door quickly swinging open put a halt to their conversation. Turning towards the door, Monika Prime eagerly walked in. She wore an ecstatic smile on her face as she presented a set of tickets towards the two.
"We're going to Disneyland!" she announced.
"Huh?" they replied with surprise.
Suddenly, Angel and Devil Mickey appeared on Shujinkou's shoulders.
"Ah, one of our hometurfs," Devil Mickey sneered.
"A fun place for all," Angel Mickey beamed.
He wordlessly shifted his attention between the two before sighing.
I really am going crazy…