Chapter 2: Why Do I Even Bother?

"This is an outrage! The Council would step in if the geth attacked a turian colony!" the ambassador raised his voice to the holographic projections of the Council.

"The turians don't found colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems, Ambassador," the salarian councilor, Valern said.

"Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went into the Traverse," Tevos, the asari councilor said.

"What about Saren? You can't just ignore a rogue Spectre. I demand action!" Udina, the human ambassador insisted.

Sparatus, the turian councilor admonished Udina, "You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador."

"Citadel security is investigating your charges against Saren. We will discuss the C-Sec findings at the hearing. Not before," Tevos asserted.

Shepard leaned against the low wall of the balcony in Ambassador Udina's office. She'd just met the man, and already she couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. He was loud, rude, and arrogant. His face seemed permanently twisted into a scowl. How had this man been chosen to represent all of humanity for the galactic Council? Good, don't trust Udina. Never trust Udina. When the councilors were done talking and the comm went dark, Udina walked over to where she was standing with Williams, Alenko, and Captain Anderson. This wasn't exactly how she had hoped her first visit to the Citadel would go, but that was how life went when you were N7. Shepard listened idly as the ambassador made snide comments about her and her team's presence. She took some small satisfaction from knowing that by just being there, she was getting under the man's skin. She glanced over her shoulder at Alenko who was subtly shaking his head in disbelief, over the Council's brushoff or the ambassador's personality she wasn't sure. Williams seemed equally displeased, only less subtle.

"They were not happy about it. Saren's their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason," Udina said.

Shepard finally spoke up, "Saren's a threat to every human colony out there. He needs to be stopped. The Council has to listen to us!"

"Settle down, Commander. You've already done more than enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the Spectres," Udina chastised. "The mission on Eden Prime was a chance for you to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead and the beacon was destroyed!"

Oh, now she really didn't like the man. If she wasn't sure he'd press charges she'd lay him out cold. Who the hell does he think he is? Ambassador or not, he was way out of line.

"That's Saren's fault, not hers!" Anderson came to Shepard's defense.

"Then we better hope the C-Sec investigation turns up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise the Council might use this as an excuse to keep you out of the Spectres," He said looking from Anderson to Shepard and then back again. "Come with me, Captain. I want to go over a few things before the hearing. Shepard, you and the others can meet us at the Citadel Tower. Top level. I'll make sure you have the clearance to get in."

The two men left the ambassador's office. She had some time to kill before the meeting, so she decided she might as well take in the sights. Leaving Udina's office she swung right and entered another office. She found it occupied by two elcor and a volus, the elcor were discussing something about someone called the Consort sharing sensitive information. Shepard had yet to spend any real time around the elcor, she thought they were really rather fascinating. They kind of reminded her of small Earth elephants without the big ears and if the elephant had been born with a deformed trunk. She'd never actually seen an elephant, of course, they didn't even exist anymore she didn't think but she had seen the pictures. She didn't wish to interrupt their conversation so she stood patiently nearby, trying to look as if she were focused on the office itself as opposed to listening to the conversation. Humans considered eavesdropping to be rude, Shepard wasn't sure if the other races felt the same way but in her line of work she had learned to listen in when she could. People gave away a lot of information when they didn't think anyone else was paying attention.

The elcor behind the desk acknowledged her in the unique way that elcor do, telling her what he was feeling as he spoke in a monotone voice making him sound far more bored than pleased to see her. Still, Shepard wasn't so easily deterred; she approached the desk and spoke to the elcor who identified himself – herself? – as Ambassador Calyn. She had absolutely no idea how to tell a male and female elcor apart, but this one at least had a deep masculine voice. Did that mean the elcor was a male? Did it really matter? She wanted to talk to him, not sleep with him.

Shepard asked him about the elcor people, seeking out information about their history and culture. Ambassador Calyn expressed enthusiasm over the idea of sharing information with her, and told her about how the asari had first made contact with the elcor shortly after they had begun exploring space. This opened the door for the elcor to establish themselves as a species with an ambassador on the Citadel, even if they weren't on the official Council. The volus nearby, Calyn called him Din, complained a lot over the fact that Calyn was speaking with Shepard and expressed a more than obvious distaste for humans in general. Shepard did her best to ignore Din's comments, instead focusing her attention on Calyn as he explained the political system of the elcor. Eventually, she gave in to her curiosity and asked Calyn about the way the elcor always stated an emotion before speaking. She hoped he understood it was simply curiosity born of ignorance and she wasn't committing some sort of faux pas. Calyn explained that the elcor communicated with each other more through scent and slight movements, but after interacting with other species they discovered that something more was needed for others to understand the emotional context of what they said. Shepard had to admit that it was impressive that they had found such a straightforward way to adapt to interspecies relationships; it was very accommodating of them.

Tired of Din's rude interjections, Shepard turned to the volus. She wondered if she were to push the squat, rounded volus over if he would be able to right himself again. Volus required full body suits and respirators, at least when not on their planet, maybe on their planet, too. She'd have to look into that later, maybe she could find a picture of what they look like without their suits on the extranet. Though, on second thought, that particular search might lead to some uncomfortable images that she would really rather not see. Their faces were completely covered, bright rounded lights pointed to where their eyes were, and a rounded vent that lit up when they spoke was the only indication of where a mouth would be.

He eventually identified himself as Ambassador Din Korlack but only after receiving a "chastising rebuke" from Calyn. Din didn't even attempt to hide his disgust for the "Earth-clan" as he kept calling her. Barely suppressing a smirk, Shepard asked Din Korlack all the same questions she had asked Calyn about his people. Din made sure to point out how he had to share an office with the elcor ambassador while the human ambassador had his own office, even though both his and Calyn's species had been on the Citadel far longer than humans. The little football really had a chip on his shoulder. Still, he talked to her anyway, probably because as an ambassador it would be unacceptable to blatantly refuse to answer her questions about his people for no other reason than his own personal prejudice.

When Shepard had grown bored with antagonizing the volus with her questions, she left the office and headed down the stairs, back out onto the Presidium. She noted the holographic asari display just outside of the embassies but decided not to bother with it; she'd find her way around on her own. And you already know where everything is, you remember, even if you don't realize it. You haven't had to use Avina to guide you since, I don't know the tenth or so time. Just like you aren't heading straight for the tower now because you know that there are other things to be done before you get there, other people to help, more information to gather. You almost always stop to help; you always stop to ask questions. It's who we are.

She made her way up the stairs on the other side of the embassies. She stopped when she say a door marked 'Citadel Security Executor Pallin', she was determined to find out what C-Sec had learned about Saren and figured it was a good place to start. The turian behind the desk greeted her by name; apparently the news of her presence on the Citadel had already gotten around. He'd probably accessed her file as soon as he got the case on Saren. He wasn't pleased that she was in his office, asking questions about the investigation and refused to give her any information about the ongoing investigation. Like Din, the executor didn't seem to be too fond of humans. This was just fantastic, she had been tasked by her Captain to take down a rogue Spectre but she was going to have to wade through three feet of racist bullshit at every turn in order to get whatever scraps of intel she could. At least the executor did admit that he thought Saren was corrupt, even if it seemed he thought all Spectres were to some extent. Still, there was some hope in that. If the executor already believed in Saren's guilt, he might just be willing to keep digging until he had the proof.

Shepard left the executor's office annoyed by the turian's attitude. The other door in this area led to a lounge, there was a bar and several tables filled with various species. Some appeared to be relaxing with friends while others brought their work with them. After hearing more people talk about this asari Consort, Shepard decided that the woman must be significant and decided to see what all the fuss was about. From the chatter she was hearing, she sounded to Shepard to be an overpriced prostitute, even if some people swore that all they did was talk to her. Shepard knew though, that when people are in awe of someone, they'll go to great lengths to impress that person and even tell them things that they wouldn't otherwise tell anyone else. Perhaps she could get some information from this Consort.

"I want to meet this Consort; it sounds like she has half the Citadel in her thrall. She might be able to tell us something," Shepard said to Alenko and Williams.

"That elcor was saying that she shared his private information, we might need to bribe her but it doesn't sound like it should be too hard. If you're sure that's what you want to do, Commander," Alenko said.

"The Lieutenant is right, it probably won't help our case any if reports get back to the Council that you went to see the Consort to bribe her for information before the meeting," Williams added.

"We're not going to bribe her, we're going to ask nicely and if she doesn't want to cooperate we walk. Simple," explained Shepard.

It didn't take her long to find the Consort's office. She was stopped at the door by an asari hostess who insisted that she needed an appointment to see the Consort and that the next available appointment would be at least three months away. That's insane, Shepard thought. Who the hell would wait around for three months to see this woman, especially at her prices? Shepard had a feeling that this asari wasn't nearly all that everyone claimed her to be but that these people were taken in by the hype and the exclusivity. Some people thought anything hard to get was more than worth the trouble. Shepard scoffed at the asari gate keeper and told her that no one was worth that much of a wait. Just as Shepard was about to turn to leave, the asari received a call and stopped Shepard telling her that the Consort, Sha'ira, wished to see Shepard right away after all.

Intrigue and wariness set in as Shepard made her way up the stairs. She really didn't know much about this woman, and it seemed like everyone she asked was unable to provide any specific information. She rested her hand on her pistol; it would be terrible to have to kill someone on her first visit to the Citadel. She was sure she'd never hear the end of it from Udina, and would probably be banned if she wasn't outright court-martialed. Didn't mean she wouldn't do it if pressed, though. Shepard made her way down the short hall and opened the only door. An asari stood in the middle of the room with her back turned to Shepard, looking out a window. She glanced over her shoulder as Shepard approached but didn't turn to face her. Shepard scanned the area, and allowed herself to relax when she saw no one else in the room.

"That is close enough, Commander. I've heard a great many things about you since your arrival here on our Citadel," the woman said.

"I don't like people spying on me," Shepard warned.

"I apologize, Commander. I make it my business to know when important people arrive on the station. Many of them become clients. But that is not why I asked you here. I have a certain problem that could use your expertise," Sha'ira said, finally facing Shepard.

Shepard took in the asari; she never did understand how their species could be exclusively female but that was hardly the strangest thing Shepard had learned about the different alien species. She was pretty, Shepard supposed, but not really any more attractive than any other asari she'd met so far. Her clothing was seductive, but that could hardly be the main attraction. Her blue skin wasn't a particularly alluring shade, and her facial markings held no meaning for Shepard. Her hair – tentacles – whatever they were called didn't seem special in anyway. Maybe it was something to do with the biotics all asari naturally had, did she use them in bed somehow? Either way, Shepard knew that the best way to get what she wanted was to give a little something in return. Favor for favor.

"Maybe I can help?" Shepard offered.

"I have a friend. Septimus, a retired turian general. I won't discuss the details, but he wanted me to be more than I could be. We had a falling out. Now he spends his days in Chora's Den drinking and spreading lies about me. If you would speak to him as a fellow soldier," Sha'ira said, reaching out and caressing Shepard's face. "I believe he will listen to you and let the matter be."

Shepard's jaw clenched slightly at the woman's touch. She hated it when strangers touched her, but never had a stranger thought it acceptable to touch her in such an intimate way in the middle of conversation. Still, the woman hadn't harmed Shepard and maybe this was some sort of cultural difference between human and asari so Shepard let it go.

"What happened between you?" Shepard asked.

"I respect his privacy too much to go into the details. If he wishes to tell you what happened, that is his prerogative," was all Sha'ira would say.

"What exactly do you want me to tell him?" Shepard asked.

"Appeal to his sense of honor. Remind him of his position as a general," Sha'ira said before closing what little space there was between Shepard and herself, wrapping her arms around Shepard in an embrace. "If you can convince him to stop spreading lies about me, I would be very grateful.

Shepard froze in place. What the fuck was that? Is the damn woman in heat or something? Shepard had always been attracted to both sexes, and she wasn't exactly turned off by the idea of sleeping with an alien but… had she given some sort of sign to this woman? Something subtle that Shepard didn't realize carried that type of message with the asari? She looked over the asari's shoulder at her team. Williams had a look of pure disgust and horror on her face, and Alenko just looked amused. Sha'ira let Shepard go and turned away from her without explanation.

"Now, I must ask you to take your leave. I have many clients waiting to see me," Sha'ira said.

Shepard backed slowly away from the asari, and back out of the door without speaking. Once outside, she heard Alenko chuckle.

"Not a word, Alenko," Shepard warned.

"But Commander, I think the Consort has a thing for you," Alenko said.

"I don't want to talk about it," was all Shepard had to say to get Alenko to drop the topic.

Shepard made her way through the Presidium, stopping to talk to a hanar she saw in the Emporium. Of all the aliens that Shepard had seen, the hanar were by far the most "alien" of them all. The hanar hovered in the air somehow, and they didn't even have proper faces. They looked like giant, pink jellyfish. She felt incredibly uncomfortable talking to a hanar, there were no eyes for her to make eye contact, and any possible body language they made would have been utterly lost on her. Hell, they didn't even have a mouth for her to watch as they spoke. The words just kinda… emanated from them and different parts of their bodies lit up when they talked. Bioluminescence, it was how they communicated with each other, that much she did know. They referred to themselves as "this one" and "it"; Shepard was curious about it so she asked why. She was told that it was simply a part of their culture so she let it go. Better than Blasto. He said he was a shopkeeper, so Shepard bought a few things from him and sold off some of the extra gear she had found on the field. She excused herself from the hanar and headed to the Wards access to see if she could find this Septimus.

Shepard frowned when she hit a dead end; the door to the Wards was locked. Apparently she didn't have clearance. How strange, she can run around the Presidium where the elite of the elite lived and did business but she couldn't go to the Wards where the C-Sec HQ and lower tier businesses were? Whatever, it was getting close to time for the Council meeting. She'd find Septimus later, she decided, and changed course to the Citadel Tower.

When Shepard exited the elevator she saw two turians standing at the top of a set of stairs. She recognized one of them as the executor she had spoken with not too long before. She made her way up the stairs and was going to just walk past the two when she heard the other turian mention Saren. Pausing near them she listened to the conversation. Garrus. Oh, gods, Garrus.

"Saren's hiding something! Give me more time. Stall them," the other turian said to the executor.

"Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous! You're investigation is over, Garrus," Executor Pallin said shaking his head and walking away.

The one called Garrus turned to look at Shepard, when their eyes met she felt… something. "No matter what happens here, you know I love you. I always will," the last words I spoke to you. It's still true. It will always be true. I don't care how many lives I have to live, how many times I have to die, I will always love you, Garrus Vakarian. It was like her heart wrenched, filled with sorrow for the briefest of moments. Still dazed by the unexpected wave of emotion, Shepard shook her head slightly and chalked it up to a side effect from the beacon. She studied the turian, drinking in his image. He wore blue and black armor, the blue was the same shade as his colony markings on his face. He had a visor on, distorting the appearance of his left eye. A sniper, maybe? The best, but don't tell him that. His ego would explode. His small eyes were likewise blue, and Shepard thought they were the most interesting eyes she'd seen on a turian yet. The upper part of his face and his crest were a shade of taupe, but it lightened and shifted in color down towards his mouth and mandibles becoming something closer to beige. Most humans thought turians look like birds, and she could see the resemblance, but to her turians also had a feline quality about them. Something to do with the shapes of their nose and mouth reminded her of a cat. Either way, everything about them screamed apex predator, complete with sharp talons and near fanglike teeth.

Garrus walked towards Shepard, "Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren."

"Sounds like you really want to bring him down," Shepard observed.

"I don't trust him. Something about him rubs me the wrong way," Garrus said wrapping his arms across his chest.

"But he's a Spectre; everything he touches is classified. I can't find any hard evidence," Garrus explained.

"I think the Council's ready for us, Commander," Alenko interrupted.

"Good luck, Shepard. Maybe they'll listen to you," Garrus said.

Shepard had to pull herself away from the turian; she couldn't understand what it was about him, had they met before? She shook her head and led the others through the tower and up a flight of stairs where Anderson was waiting.

"The hearing has already started, come on," Anderson said leading them up more stairs to stand before a holographic projection of a turian without any markings on his face, the projection towered above the room. Saren, Shepard assumed taking in what details she could as she followed Anderson to where Udina already stood out on a bridge like walkway that ended in a sudden drop-off; a few feet down panes of glass were all that separated the balcony from a drop to the lower level. Saren will die down there. The Council had set themselves up across an expanse in the room, for their safety, Shepard supposed, although she wouldn't have even the slightest trouble shooting them at this distance if she were of a mind too.

"The geth attack is a matter of some concern," Tevos spoke, "But there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way."

"The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason," Sparatus added.

"An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!" Udina insisted.

"We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof," said Valern.

"I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre, and a friend," Saren said looking down on the Council.

"That just let you catch him off guard!" Anderson spoke out.

"Captain Anderson. You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me. And this must be your protégé, Commander Shepard. The one who let the beacon get destroyed," Saren taunted Anderson and Shepard.

"You're the one who destroyed the beacon. Then you tried to cover it up," Shepard retorted.

"Shift the blame to cover your own failures, just like Captain Anderson. He's taught you well. But what can you expect from a human?" Saren responded, turning back to the Council.

"Saren despises humanity. That's why he attacked Eden Prime!" Shepard said shifting her weight forward to emphasize her point.

"Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres," Saren said, no doubt trying to rile Shepard.

"He has no right to say that! That's not his decision!" Udina fumed.

Tevos turned to her head to look up at Saren, "Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting."

"This meeting has no purpose. The humans are wasting your time, Councilor. And mine," Saren retorted.

"You can't hide behind the Council forever!" Shepard warned.

Captain Anderson shifted, watching Shepard before speaking, "There is still one outstanding issue. Commander Shepard's vision. It may have been triggered by the beacon."

Saren scoffed, "Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"

"I agree. Our judgement must be based on evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation," said Sparatus.

"Do you have anything else to add, Commander Shepard?" Valern asked.

"You've made your decision. I won't waste my breath," Shepard said, biting back the far more caustic remark she had in mind.

Sparatus and Tevos looked at each other a moment, communicating something through head nodding and shaking before the asari spoke again, "The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the Spectres is denied."

"I'm glad to see justice was served," Saren said; his smugness obvious.

"This meeting is adjourned," said Tevos.

Shepard and Anderson walked away from the area and stood facing one another at the top of the stairs, Williams and Alenko standing behind their Commander. Shepard was fuming and Anderson was doing his best to get her to refocus her energy on formulating a plan of action. He knew Shepard well, and he knew that she would not be cowed that easily. He just had to wait for her to stop cussing and making detailed explanations about how she was going to rip Saren's spine from his body. She spotted Udina walking towards them and pulled herself together, pushing down her rage.

"It was a mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain. You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives," Udina said.

"I know Saren. He's working with the geth for one reason: to exterminate the entire human race. Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't safe," Anderson insisted.

"We need to deal with Saren ourselves," Shepard agreed.

"As a Spectre, he's virtually untouchable. We need to find some way to expose him," Udina said holding his curled fingers to his mouth in thought.

"What about Garrus, that C-Sec investigator? We saw him arguing with the Executor," Kaidan offered.

Good thinking, Kaidan.

"That's right!" Williams added, "He was asking for more time to finish his report. Seems like he was close to finding something on Saren."

"Any idea where we could find him?" Shepard asked Udina.

"I have a contact in C-Sec who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin," Udina said.

"Forget it," Anderson said. "They suspended Harkin last month. Drinking on the job. I won't waste my time with that loser."

"You won't have to. I don't want the Council using your past history with Saren as an excuse to ignore anything we turn up. Shepard will handle this," Udina said.

Udina, you worthless, treacherous, son-of-a-bitch. Still, I wouldn't wish this shit storm on Anderson.

"You can't just cut Captain Anderson out of this investigation," insisted Shepard.

"The ambassador's right. I need to step aside," Anderson said shaking his head.

"I need to take care of some business. Captain, meet me in my office later," Udina said before turning and walking away.

With Udina gone, Anderson turned back to Shepard, "Harkin's probably getting drunk at Chora's Den. It's a dingy little club in the lower section of the wards."

"I thought you said he was a drunken loser?" Shepard asked.

Anderson shrugged, "Couldn't hurt to go talk to him. Just be careful. I wouldn't call him reliable."

Shepard shifted a moment, stalling as she decided whether to bring up Anderson's history with Saren. She could tell it wasn't something he really wanted to talk about but if she was going to be responsible for bringing him down, she needed to know what Anderson's connection was to the rogue Spectre.

"You and Saren have a history. What happened?" Shepard finally asked.

"About twenty years ago, I was part of a mission in the Skyllian Verge. I was working with Saren to find and remove a known terrorist threat. Saren eliminated his target. But a lot of people died along the way. Innocent people. And the official records just covered it all up. But I saw how he operates. No conscience. No hesitation. He'd kill a thousand innocent civilians to end a war without a second thought.

Shepard held a hand out showing that the concept was one she understood all too well as a soldier, "Sometimes a thousand people must die so a million can live."

"But only if there's no other way. Saren doesn't even look for another option. He's twisted, broken. He likes the violence, the killing. And he knows how to cover his tracks," Anderson elaborated.

Shepard understood now, that changed things significantly. In the past, she'd had to make some tough calls and a lot of lives were lost but it was always when she couldn't find any other way around the matter. It was always something regrettable, something that haunted her dreams more often than not, but she took solace in knowing that the lives lost were not in vain.

They spent a few more minutes discussing the Council's actions and what leads they could follow. Anderson suggested that she might also speak to the volus banker, Barla Von. Shepard had met him briefly earlier when she was exploring the Presidium. He had hinted then about knowing his client's personal secrets, but Shepard had had no reason to suspect he might know something about Saren. Anderson said that there were rumors that Barla Von was an information agent for the Shadow Broker. Shepard hadn't heard anything about this Shadow Broker before so she asked about him. Anderson explained that the Shadow Broker was an anonymous individual who used agents spread out across the agency to gather information on people and organizations which he then sold to others. Anderson said he was headed to the ambassador's office before leaving Shepard and the others.

Shepard turned Williams and Alenko, "Thoughts?"

"I don't know, ma'am," Williams spoke up shrugging her shoulders. "It seems to me that the Council isn't going to accept any information we find about their beloved turian Spectre. I mean, he's not just a Spectre, but being a turian with a turian on the Council… I'm just not sure we'll be able to convince them of his guilt unless they hear a confession from Saren himself."

"I don't think that the Council would be that unreasonable. I don't think they'd go to bat for Saren just because he's a turian, even with the turian's being one of the Council races. Williams is right though, he is a Spectre, their own personal agent so it's going to take some pretty damning evidence before they'll be swayed."

Shepard grunted, rolling her shoulders, "Alright, let's track down this Vakarian and see what he knows. I guess we'll talk with Harkin, but I want to talk to this Barla Von again, too. Chora's Den is where Sha'ira said Septimus would be as well, so we'll start there."