There was a time I did anything to be with someone. Someone I never really met; but someone who was real. But we all know how that story ended. I sacrificed everything just for that one goal and yet… I was alone in the darkness for so long and now I ended up here. Essentially a second chance at a life now gone. But right now things are-
Two Meta
Chapter 1: Déjà vu
Monika stared at the blank white page before her. Her journal was just waiting for the next entry to be recorded in it. But even though she had many thoughts that could be written down, she just couldn't find it in her to do it.
Negative emotions have their place in any genre in literature. Without them, the wealth of exclaimed stories wouldn't be so vast. But even knowing this, she still couldn't find it in her just to write the next log in her journal.
She tapped her heart-tipped pen against her right cheek as she thought about her research last night. She tried to find anything she could that could explain Shujinkou's condition, but she it was all for naught. She could only imagine how the other and his family felt about this.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Monika looked up from her journal to find her alternate self standing beside her.
"I haven't really thought about anything else since yesterday," Monika said.
"I understand," Monika Prime empathized.
"What about you, Monika? You were there when it happened; how do you feel?"
She remained silent for a moment. "I was… I don't really know. I didn't expect him to just mentally shutdown the way that he did like that. I tried to wake him up but… I just couldn't."
Her voice was layered with guilt.
"You shouldn't be hard on yourself. It's not like you could do anything," Monika assured her.
Instead of responding, Monika Prime stepped towards the pantry and grabbed a small bag of chips.
"I guess I'll go back to reading this fix-it fic I found," she said.
"A fix-it fic? What's it about?"
"Like all fix-it fics. Whether someone didn't like how something occurred in the original or just giving certain characters…" Monika Prime closed her sorrow filled eyes. "Certain characters a happier life…"
Her voice and how she carried herself, it was clear to Monika that her counterpart had been through some dark times. But before she could try and console her, she heard the sudden sound of plastic hitting the table plastic clattering against the wood table. Not too long after, she felt her right arm slip off the table. Strangely enough, she didn't feel it rubbing against anything as it did.
She looked down and to her horror, found that her arm was completely transparent.
"Hu-!?
Monika stared at the blank white page before her. Her journal was just waiting for the next entry to be recorded in it. But even though she had many thoughts that could be written down, she just couldn't find it in her to do it.
Negative emotions have their place in any genre in literature. Without them, the wealth of exclaimed stories wouldn't be so vast. But even knowing this, she still couldn't find it in her just to write the next log in her journal.
She tapped her heart-tipped pen against her right cheek as she thought about her research last night. She tried to find anything she could that could explain Shujinkou's condition, but she it was all for naught. She could only imagine how the other and his family felt about this.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Monika looked up from her journal and watched her alternate self walk into the kitchen.
"I haven't really thought about anything else since yesterday," Monika said.
"I understand," Monika Prime empathized as she stepped towards the pantry.
She grabbed a small bag of chips and silently walked back through the kitchen doorway.
Monika hasn't really spoken much since Shujinkou ended up in his current state. I guess it most have affected her especially since she was there when it happened.
Monika once again started to tap the cap of her pen against her cheek until a strange feeling came over her. She instinctively looked down at her hand. Just the other day, she was sure a part of it was disappearing. Even though nothing had happen since then, she had the strangest feeling that something much worse occurred.
Déjà vu?
Chapter 2: Past Times
Sayori had been stuck in sticky situations before. In fact, she was used to them. But no matter what kind of trouble she would get in, she would always pull through. Unfortunately, most of those moments usually involved having someone else around to pull her through and now wasn't one of those times.
"Auntie H?"
"Yes, Sayori?"
"How did we end up like this again?"
Sayori glanced down at the many threads that bound her and Hiro together.
"I don't really know myself," Hiro weakly chuckled. "I told you we shouldn't have done this unsupervised."
"But I knew that it would get your mind off of- Well, you know."
"Well, you're plan did do that," Hiro gently assured her. "I just wish it didn't lead to both of use being tied down."
"How do others make knitting look so easy?" Sayori wondered aloud. "Do we have any way out of this?"
"Did someone ask for a way out of something?"
Just when it seemed like they would be trapped together in Shujinkou's room for a long time, Hisa walked in with a scissors in hand and a knowing smile on her face.
"Ask and Lady Hisa shall bring scissors thanks to her Hisa sense."
She wasted no time cutting the threads that bound the two, freeing them.
"Thanks Granny Hisa," Sayori beamed.
"Yeah, thanks Mom…" Hiro sheepishly thanked.
"I know you said have some problems when you're unsupervised Hiro, but how did you two end up in a frankly comical dilemma?" Hisa asked.
"We don't know," the two answered in near unison.
"Mm-hmm… By the way, Hiro, there's a gentleman with flowers and chocolates for you at the door."
"Oh, he must be the guy," Sayori thought aloud.
"The guy?" Hisa shot a curious look at her daughter.
"Eh?" Hiro's cheeks grew bright red with embarrassment. "Uhm… I better go and make an appearance. I wouldn't want to be rude after all."
She then rushed out of the room with her mother calmly following behind. She could hardly stifle her laugh as she loudly announced. "I thought I was the cool parent and yet you're still hiding boyfriends from me?"
"Mom!" Hiro cried.
Sayori chuckled and sat down on Shujinkou's bed. At least her mind is a little off worrying about Shiko.
But thinking that reminded her of her own worries.
I wonder if he'll wake up today…
She daintily kicked her feet back and forth until she felt something brush against her right foot. Jutting out from the bottom of the bed was a small cardboard box.
Quickly succumbing to her natural curiosity, Sayori reached for and brought the box to her face.
"Isn't this the box we used for our time capsule? But I thought we already took our stuff out of it."
She removed the top of the box, her eyes widening with surprise as they beheld the contents that lied inside.
"This is…" Sayori reached into the box and pulled out a piece of notebook paper.
On one side was a crude drawing of three kids playing detective while on the other side was a drawing of two of those kids in a cardboard box. She remembered drawing this long ago; her account of the fun she had on those days.
I thought Shiko would've gotten rid of this... A small smile formed on Sayori's lips as she recalled the last time she talked to Shujinkou before their reunion a few months ago. So he didn't completely shut us out back then…
Chapter 3: Guilt and Anger
Natsuki continued to pick with the food provided to her by the hospital cafeteria. She hasn't been in the building for three days and had to force herself to visit.
"Natsuki?"
Sitting across from her was Yuri. The young maiden sported the same sad and worried look she had since they met near the entrance.
"Yeah?" Natsuki replied.
"How have you been?" Yuri asked.
"Honestly… I've been feeling like a jerk."
"How come?"
"I called Shujinkou a 'Stupid, Selfish, Dummy'. I essentially got mad at him for fainting out of nowhere."
"You shouldn't attack yourself. It was just anger born from your own worry."
"And I directed it at someone who's not feeling well right now. It's like him almost kissing Mali all over again."
"Ah…" Yuri could remember exactly how she felt at that moment; the emotions she tried to pretend she never had. "That was a pretty upsetting time. But I genuinely believe that he was only going to do that for the sake of the club."
"Yeah, well, it doesn't change the fact that I got mad at him then too…" Natsuki sighed.
"Sometimes… The strong feelings you feel towards someone can make you feel anything in moments like these, even anger," Yuri said in the best consoling tone she could manage.
"I guess… I guess I was just thinking about what it would mean to me if something serious did happen to him."
The thought of that scenario coming to pass scared Natsuki. Losing her first close friend may be more than she could bear.
But there was nothing she could do now but hope that it wasn't too serious.
"What about you?" she suddenly asked.
"Me?" Yuri responded perplexed.
"Yeah, what's been going on with you?"
"Well, I guess I've been feeling a little… I guess guilty might be the right word."
"What do you have to feel guilty about? You weren't even around when it happened."
"Well… When the doctor proposed that Shujinkou may have mentally retreated into himself…" Yuri closed her eyes, recalling Shujinkou's emotional state when they last talked. "He was already having issues like seeing visions and I feel like something I said to him may have been one of the things to cause him to shutdown."
Natsuki shot the young maiden a perplexed look. "Wait? What do you mean he was seeing visions?"
"He told me that he's been spontaneously seeing and that he was worried what they might mean. They were really bothering him," Yuri explained.
"I would ask whether or not he was daydreaming but considering the two Monikas running around, him seeing visions makes as much sense as anything else." Natsuki groaned as she wondered when their lives became a fantasy. "Ugh… These last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster."
She slumped back in her seat, pondering what could possibly happen next.
"Wait… Why would something you say help cause a mental shutdown?"
"Well…" the young maiden averted her gaze as she started playing with her hair.
"I'm pretty sure it was just the visions," Natsuki said, cutting Yuri off before she could say anymore. "I can't see you having anything to do with it at all. That's just sounds like an inflated ego to me."
"Oh…" Understanding the meaning behind her words, Yuri simply nodded her head in agreement. "You're right."
Chapter 4: Revelation
Monika silently approached the bed Shujinkou's body currently occupied. For three days she had hoped that there would be some kind of change, but nothing has. She honestly didn't know if she should be grateful or not.
"So… I honestly don't really know what to say. I know you've said you've been feeling weird lately and I know modern medical science doesn't have an answer to everything, but since you've said that weird things have been happening to you since Monika showed up, I can't help but wonder if the state you're in has something to do with that.
If we take what we know from fiction, there are so many reasons why you're in the state you're in. But it would be pretty easy to say you're mind is somewhere else but okay at the same time."
She sighed a defeated sigh as she took in the sight of his sleeping face.
"I really wish I had something else to say. I'm sure you're tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. But I really can't stop thinking about it myself and the mystery of it all doesn't help. Not knowing the true reason why you're like this is a double-edge sword; it can give hope and make others worry too. It's why I can understand why Sayori has a hard time being hopeful too. Though, the most hopeful of us having a hard time doing that also make it hard to be hopeful myself."
Monika…
"Eh?" Monika looked around the empty room. It was still just her and Shujinkou's unconscious body. "Who?"
Monika…
She looked down at her friend. "Shujinkou?"
Hand…
"Huh?"
My hand…
"Your hand?"
Slowly and cautiously, Monika reached for Shujinkou's left hand. The moment her skin touched his, her mind was assaulted with a replay of the moment Shujinkou fainted. It played in her head twice; once from his perspective and the other from her counterpart's perspective.
She quickly retracted her hand, trying her hardest to fathom what she saw and why it happened.
Chapter 5: Meeting
"Just Monika."
Those were the last words Shujinkou could remember before he was whisked away to the dark. What happened to him before then was confusing. He saw things that just didn't seem logical. It was like seeing a video game play out in front of him, except it involved his friends or another version of them.
Trying to wrap his head around everything was the only thing he could do. It felt as if he was drifting in a void cut off from the real world. There was no light, no sound; he wasn't sure if his eyes were even working or if his body was still in one piece. He didn't even have the courtesy of freaking out.
Despite his position, he felt an unnatural tranquility keeping him from feeling any fear. It was almost comforting.
Soon a single beam of light broke through the darkness and engulfed his entire being.
"Come on…"
Am I dying?
It seemed like the light was beckoning him to the afterlife. But whether he wanted to or not, whether he went to it or ran from it, he couldn't move. Maybe this was purgatory; forever keeping between life and death and taunting him with a way out.
"Hey!"
Suddenly, what was possibly the first sensation in what seemed like forever centered on his right cheek: Stinging pain.
"Ow!" he cried as the light dissipated.
Once it was clear, he found himself in the grip of a stranger. Shujinkou was at a loss of words, not because he was suddenly in the middle of a forest clearing with someone he had never met before, but because of the unusual features she possessed.
He found himself drawn to her eyes; her right eye was a deep red and her left a dark violet but both possessed sharper pupils than anyone he has ever met. Black lines ran below her eyes. Under the right, a full line drooped to the bottom of her face whilst the left was sharper and stopped in the middle of her cheek. Her ears were also long and pointy to match her particularly sharp canine teeth.
"Finally. I can't believe you've fell asleep here," the girl said.
"Huh? Where exactly is here?" Shujinkou said.
"I don't know," the girl nonchalantly shrugged. "Either your head or mine."
"Huh?"
Shujinkou watched her tie her silver hair back, waiting for her to continue. But she never did.
"Um… Excuse me…"
"Yeah?"
"What do you mean my head or yours?" Shujinkou questioned.
"You tell me. I'm just minding my own business until I feel someone desperately trying to get my attention. Except they were nowhere I could get to. Fortunately, whoever was doing that, i.e. you, left a link, so I followed that link so… Pretty sure we're in your head or inner world or maybe this is some middle place.
The girl scratched the back of her head before shrugging, "I don't know, they're pretty much the same anyway."
"Um…"
Shujinkou was once again at a loss for words. Normally, he would figure that he was just dreaming a non-human teenage girl was trying to explain what happened to him, but given recent events regarding Monika Prime and his visions…
"So… You visited me in my head?" he asked.
"You called me or were calling someone and I just answered. You must have been through something traumatic to be unconscious while you're unconscious. I guess you were calling for help before someone finds your body or something."
Shujinkou rubbed his red right cheek. He was sure that her hand was imprinted on it. "Is that why…?"
"Had to wake you up. You're too easy to posses the way you were. Pretty much asking for someone to have fun in your body," she nonchalantly explained.
"Oh… In that case, thanks… Um…"
"Karizu."
"Thanks, Karizu."
Shujinkou scratched his still throbbing red right cheek. Something about her seemed familiar, except it felt like he was experiencing someone else's familiarity.
Karizu soon stood up and found a nearby stump to plant herself on. Her composed, yet interested eyes were trained on him as she asked, "So… What's going on with you?"
"Not really sure myself…" Shujinkou sheepishly answered.
"Should've known. But you know, it's not really normal for a human to end up here on their own; doubly not normal for one to pretty much announce it."
"Well, things haven't really been normal lately.
"How so?"
Shujinkou explained everything that happened to him ever since his first encounter with Monika Prime. Karizu's eyes were filled with more and more surprise as he told her his tale.
"You're seriously in a harem where two of the girls competing for you being alternate versions of themselves?" Her eyes squint as Karizu examined Shujinkou from head to toe. "Wow… You are one lucky passive human."
"Is that really what you took from all of this…?" He awkwardly scratched his right cheek. He felt like he should have known that would be the part that anyone would comment on.
"Only interesting part," she replied with an unapologetic shrug. "Anyway, sounds like your first introduction to other worlds while also explaining why I had to meet you like this."
Karizu then jumped up from the stump and landed in front of Shujinkou in a flash.
"Something's weird about you."
"Weird, how?"
"You're seemingly a normal human and yet you made a call that reached my world."
"So, you are from another dimension."
"Even if someone's consciousness or spirit called out to someone, I'm pretty sure it would be limited to their world so… I don't really know what's going on with you."
"I see…"
Shujinkou didn't know how to feel. Not being normal may explain why he's the only one being affected this way since Monika Prime's arrival.
"Anyway, you should probably wake up now," Karizu suggested. "Who's knows how long you've been asleep in your world."
"R-Right."
Shujinkou closed his eyes; his breathing completely still as he centered his thoughts on nothing but waking up.
…
He heard the sound of someone chuckling and opened his eyes.
"You have no idea what you're doing, do you?" Karizu asked.
"Not really…" he admitted.
"Alright," Karizu pressed her right index finger against the center of Shujinkou's forehead. "See ya."
With barely a gesture, Karizu sent Shujinkou hurdling though the surrounding forest. Everything from his point of view distorted as he felt the speed of his sudden flight grew before suddenly finding himself staring at a darkened ceiling.
He felt groggy and confused as he sat up.
"Shiko!"
A pair of hands excitedly wrapped themselves around him.
"Sayori?"
"You're awake! You're awake!" she happily cheered, hugging him even tighter.
"Shiko?"
"Ah!" She immediately released her grip on and sheepishly chuckled. "Sorry, I was just happy."
"You deserve to be after a certain someone caused us to worry nonstop lately," Natsuki said with a knowing grin.
Shujinkou scratched his right cheek as he tried to figure out what was going on. He was currently in a hospital room with Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri visiting him.
"How long was I out?" he asked.
"You were unconscious for 3 days," Yuri answered.
"3 days?" Shujinkou once again scratched his right cheek. Karizu was right. I can't believe I was gone for days.
"Aw… The Monikas just missed you waking up," Sayori thought aloud.
"Monika?" For some reason unbeknownst to him, just hearing that shared name worried Shujinkou.
Chapter 6: Confrontation
Monika Prime stared at the contents of the vending machine in front of her. She wasn't sure what more of a letdown was: the selection or the price for them.
"Monika."
She turned towards the direction of the one who called her name. In front of her was her herself from the current reality she was in. She looked confused and especially worried.
"Did something happen, other me?" Monika Prime asked.
"Monika… What did you do to Shujinkou?" Monika questioned.
"What do you mean?"
"I can't really explain it but I somehow felt what happened when Shujinkou lost conscious in front of you. You were scared and tried to do something to him. I don't mean to say you purposely tried to get him to end up like he did, but I know it's due to whatever you were doing."
Monika Prime silently stared at her counterpart before turning back to the vending machine. She pressed a combination of buttons and reached down to receive a bag of chips.
"You know, I didn't pay for this," she said as she opened the bag. After gingerly taking a bite from a single chip, she shifted her gaze back to her other self. "Stuff like this I figured out pretty quickly after figuring out where I ended up."
"What do you mean?"
"I also figured out how to make new locations and other things like what's happening to your arms."
Spurred on by her words, Monika glanced down to find that she could see through her own arms.
"What?" she exclaimed.
"Could even do something like that, I have some experience with manipulating the world around me and yet the only person I couldn't was Shujinkou. It's not like I wanted to manipulate his emotions or anything. At first, I was just trying to plant the restaurant we went to in his head before we went there, but I couldn't. Instead, I had to add evidence that it's always been around to compensate for that. Couldn't really find a good description for the exterior though and the interior I left enough gaps for imagination.
I tried again when it seemed like Shujinkou saw something I wish he didn't, moments from my reality, but t seemed to cause him to faint."
Monika couldn't even fully process what she just heard. Through her hands, she could see her feet slowly beginning to lose its solid form too.
Horrified by what was happening to her, she looked around for help. But no matter how much she cried for help no one would even sneak a look at her.
"I kinda also erased you from everyone's mind in the building," Monika Prime added.
Tears filled Monika's eyes as she watched more and more of her body became translucent. "Why?"
I know it was confusing, but if I gave any hints, I would have been seen through right away. But to answer this sudden turn of events… Remember what I told you earlier about happier endings and fix-it fics?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, I don't think I have enough time to properly explain. Just that… I want what every other Monika got a chance at having. But to have that I need to be the Monika of that reality and the only way to do that is to get rid of the Monika that's already there."
"You mean you've been planning to get rid of me this whole time?"
Monika Prime remained silent as she watched Monika's body fully lose its solid form. Her cold, composed eyes fueled the hopelessness of the situation she was in.
Monika watched as her feet slowly started vanishing from sight. Her entire existence was beginning to fade away before her eyes.
"Is this really okay with you, Monika…?" Monika asked. "I felt what you felt then. You were scared and didn't want others to see you differently."
Monika Prime continued to stare at her in silence as her counterpart's legs slowly disappear.
"Yeah…"
Monika closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable. It wouldn't be long now; she could feel more and more of her body fade away.
"Monika!"
That one word filled her with a small bit of hope, or rather the person who sad that. Behind her was Shujinkou. The concern he expressed on his face was comforting.
"What's happening to you?" he questioned.
"Shujinkou…"
As much as she would like to explain, she knew she didn't have that much time left. Instead, she simply smiled at her friend.
"I really enjoyed being club president. Meeting everyone since then were some of the happiest moments of my life. Please tell the others that too."
Shujinkou could feel his entire body tremble. For the second time in his life, he was about to witness another death of someone he cared about happen in front of him and just like last time, he couldn't do anything about it.
"Goodbye," Monika giggled until she was finally gone.
Words failed Shujinkou as the tears he fought back finally flowed out of his eyes. Once again, he felt confused, sad and powerless all at once.
"Monika…"
He fell to his knees as the full force of what happened hit him. He found himself once again wishing it was him.
"Why…? Why did this even happen?!" he cried. "I… Why… Why do I keep losing people I care about?"
He continued to expel tears from his eyes until he felt a finger gently wipe them away. Kneeling in front of him was Monika Prime.
"I can give it back to you, you know," she said.
"W-What?" he sniffled.
"That false pain you were born with, time wasted from the drama created just for amusement and sympathy. Would you like to keep it or would you like what you always wished you could have."
"What I want…? I… I just wish everything could go back to normal."
"Mm." Monika Prime stood up. "Actaully, I guess I can ditch 'Prime' now."
She then pressed her right thumb against her middle finger.
"Things won't be 'Two Meta' anymore after this, but at least everything will be back to normal and that's what everyone wants right?"
"What do you mean?"
"You'll subconsciously see."
A thin smile crossed Monika's face and she snapped her fingers signaling the end of-
Doki Doki Literature Club!: My Reality
Occasionally mad Writer: Crash5020
Initial publication run: 2018-2020
Fanfiction conception: Desire to write a proper and decent story for once.
Original Character Designer: Crash5020
Subduer of too many meta references: Crash5020
Keeping the spotlight equal director: Crash5020
Sometimes foregoes sleep to get chapters out: Crash5020
Constantly unsure of original characters: Crash5020
Constantly going back and forth over when Rei should speak: Crash5020
Desperately trying to come up with titles to make the credit section longer: Crash5020
Finally glad to have this huge weight of a story lifted from shoulders: Crash5020
Two Meta conception: Wanting to do something special for the 100th chapter. Also the reason for the name change.
The End
Thank you for reading.
A/N: And that was Two Meta. I've been thinking about this for a while but I think that it's probably best to stop the story here. I know things ended on an ambiguous and rather sudden downer ending, but I learned during my tenure as a fanfiction writer that I should subvert expectations whenever I can. Besides, a lot of stories taught me that not every story is completely conclusive and can have a happy end- end- end- enadjajfbbjbjjb
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You didn't really think things would end there did you. I'm sure some of you want a return to the slice of life stories these last couple of chapters deprived you of and I'm more than willing to contribute towards that goal.
So just sit tight until the next chapter, okay? Til' then.
- Monika