Disclaimer:South of Nowhere, its characters and settings are the copyrighted works of ... that one guy...Tom Lynch...i think ... & his publishing companies and affiliates. No profit was made from the writing of this story nor was any malice intended in any way, shape or form to the author or the actors/actresses who so brilliantly have brought them to life.

Rating: I put M because I am not sure and better be safe than sorry...

Scars

by Not Exactly Normal

Spencer sat in silence on her bed, subconciously fidgeting with a piece of string that idly strayed from the interwoven pattern of the blanket.. She couldn't keep thoughts of Ashley from invading her mind. Everything about her, from the way she walks, talks, acts, and even the soft strawberry scent that carries Ashley...she just couldn't stop thinking about her. She even entertained the thought of what Ashley tasted like...and that scared her. She wasn't supposed to like girls...was she? Nevertheless, she wasn't supposed to like her newly found best friend...

Was she?

A small tap at the window tore her from her thoughts. Spencer walked over to the window and opened it. Sticking her head out the window and looking towards the ground, she was greeted by the lucious beauty none other than Ashley.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer whispered down to Ashley.

"I couldn't sleep..." she lied, trying to keep her voice low. "Can I come up?" Ashley said so sweetly that Spencer couldn't resist, not that she wanted to in the first place...

"Yeah, meet me at the front door." Spencer said as she quietly navigated her way to the front door. Opening it, she was floored by the brunette beauty that stood before her. Ashley smiled at Spencer, a genuine smile that could've been worth a million dollars. "Hi," she whispered.

Spencer smiled back at her, "Hi." she replied, almost sheepishly. She motioned for Ashley to be quiet and took ahold of her hand and led her upstairs to her room. Closing the door behind them, Spencer walked to her bed, layed down and let out a sigh of relief. Ashley sat down beside her, her nerves becoming more apparent as she began to fidget with her hands and her eyes shift around the room.

'Why am I here?' Ashley thought nervously. You know why. A little voice in the back of her head stated. She subconciously rubbed her sleeve-covered arms. 'I can't do this. I can't tell her. What will she think? What if she doesn't want me around anymore because it's too much for her to handle?' Just do it. The little voice said again. 'But...' DO IT. the voice commanded.

During her inner battle, Ashley didn't even notice that Spencer had spoken to her. She was too wrapped up in her inner thoughts and all the confusion underlaying it.

"Ashley," Spencer said waving a hand in front of her face, trying to catch her attention. "Earth to Ashley. Are you in there?"

Tearing herself from her thoughts, "Oh, yeah, sorry about that." she said shaking her head and scrambling the thoughts inside. "What did you say?"

"I asked what you really were doing here, but i think i have a different question now. What's bothering you so much?" Spencer said with compassion towards her friend.

Ashley paused a second, choosing her words carefully. Nerves crept into her stomach as a demon would into a dark hole. Wringing her wrists with her hands, she contemplated how to begin. "Well, you see..." Ashley started but stopped. 'i can't say it,' the thought of doubt voiced. Yes you can.

Spencer watched the inner battle play across her face, and took ahold of Ashley's hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "It's o.k, I'm here for you."

"Always," she added.

Ashley looked into Spencer's eyes and smiled. Spencer always managed to make her smile one way or another. "Thank you,"

Taking a deep, controlled breath, Ashley began, holding onto Spencer's hand as if it was her life support. But then again...maybe it was. "Well, you see...I have a problem and ... i thought you could help me because...well, i trust you." she said as she closed her eyes.

"Before you came to LA... I - I." Her voice faltered. Why couldn't she say it? Gathering up her courage, she pulled herself closer to Spencer, wrapping her arm around her waist, and resting her head on her shoulder. Spencer soothed her,"It's o.k. you can tell me."

"I used to...cut myself." she said in a barely audible voice as she rolled up the sleeve of her left arm. Scars littered her forearm in all different directions. Some zig-zag, some checkerboard, some straight and some not so straight. Spencer's breath caught in her throat, but the one thing she noticed was that there weren't any newer cuts.

"I - I haven't done it in a while, but I, I thought I should tell you because my mom and I were fighting and I went into the bathroom and...and ... I was going to do it, cut myself that is, but I thought of you...and ...and I thought," Spencer put a finger to her supple lips, silencing her. A single tear shed it's path down Ashley's cheek.

"You thought right." Spencer whispered as she stroked her cheek with feather light touches. Spencer's heart suddenly started beating faster and harder with every touch. Her blood ran hot, as chills ran down her spine. Her faced blushed red, palms became sweaty and her forehead felt clammy. Realization had struck. 'I love Ashley.' Spencer thought irratically.

"I'll help you in any way you want or need me to." Spencer said as her own mind raced with confusion and happiness. She wrapped her arms around her(Ashley). 'I love Ashley.' She couldn't stop thinking it.

"Really?" Ashley asked innocently as she looked up into Spencer's beautiful blue orbs. She rolled her sleeve back down, unable to look at the scars of the past that haunt her.

"Really really," Spencer said with a smile 'I LOVE YOU' She screamed in her head. 'I LOVE YOU'

And before she knew it, she was leaning in towards Ashley's lips. Her hot breath mixed and mingled with her's and she lightly brushed her lips feather light across Ashley's, waiting for a reaction.

'Oh my god, Spencer just kissed me!' A tingly sensation was replaced where Spencer's lips touched hers as her mind returned from a peaceful oblivion. 'I Love her' were the only words that stood out in the foggy haze of nirvana that was once Ashley's mind. 'I know I love her.' she thought as she put her hand on Spencer's cheek, bringing their lips together again.

This kiss was longer, more passionate, than the previous. Both tried to pour all of their emotions that screamed 'I LOVE YOU' at the other, into it. It was a hungry desire of love that was devoured in lips, tongue and teeth. The kiss ended and they both snuggled closer to one another, not daring to break the moment with words. They both drifted off to sleep after many moments of silence, arms wrapped around each other, legs intertwined. Both content in the arms of the one they loved, even though the other didn't know how she really felt...