XXX
Early May, 2006
"Mmm… I love professional days," Zoey said happily as she reclined against a lawn chair and adjusted her sunglasses.
"Me too," Nicole agreed, her eyes closed. "Too bad Lola had play practice; she's missing out on this amazing sun. My goal is to be completely tan by the time the semester is over, and just in time for the end-of-the-year beach party which we are definitely going to this year."
The two friends were relaxing in the late-morning sunlight on one of the many rooftops at PCA. The teachers were having a major meetings-and-updates day as exams rapidly approached, so classes had been cancelled for the students, not that any of them were complaining. The beautiful weather had forced nearly everyone at the boarding school outside to enjoy.
"Can you believe that this time next month we'll practically be done with school? We're almost sophomores," Zoey thought out loud, more to herself than to Nicole. "Then after that there's just two more years… and then college."
"Oh, please, Zoe, don't ruin this day with college-talk," Nicole pleaded. "I get enough of that from my guidance counselor… and all of my teachers… and my parents… and my grandparents."
"Okay, okay," Zoey surrendered easily, and the two fell back into comfortable silence for a while. Footsteps approaching made Zoey open her eyes to see who was coming.
"Hey girls," Michael greeted as he and Chase came closer, both in shorts and t-shirts and looking sweaty.
"Hey. Why are you all sweaty and gross?" Nicole asked.
Michael grabbed one of the water bottles the girls had brought and chugged as Chase replied, "We just played some one-on-one basketball. It got intense."
"Obviously," Nicole agreed, nodding her head in indication of their perspiration.
Zoey smiled and suggested, "You guys want to get some lunch with us later? After you shower?"
"Can't; I told Logan I'd help him with a science project," Michael groaned.
"I can't either, Zoey, remember? Date with Rob later? I'm going to need at least an hour to pick an outfit," Nicole reminded.
"You're still dating Rob?" Michael queried, surprised.
"Yes," Nicole huffed. "Why, is that surprising?"
"Well… yeah. You date guys for two-point-five seconds before you've moved on to another one."
"Thanks," Nicole snipped, getting up from her chair and gathering her things. "I'm leaving. I'll see you all later." She sent one more nasty look towards Michael before disappearing.
"Oh, touchy," Chase pointed out, teasing.
"Man, why is she getting all mad at me? I was just stating the obvious!" Michael defended. "Whatever. I'm gonna go; see you two later."
Zoey glanced over at Chase, who was still standing a few feet away, looking out of place. She tried to put a real smile on her face as she said, "Well, Chase? You wanna have lunch with me?"
Chase scratched at the back of his neck. "Uh… I… guess." He still wasn't sure how to act around her.
"Cool. I was thinking… since it's so nice out, we could have a picnic."
Chase grinned, suddenly looking forward to spending an afternoon with just Zoey. They hadn't done that in a while. "It's a date," he said without thinking, then internally chastised himself.
Zoey barely even showed a reaction, though her face did reflect surprise for a brief moment before she composed herself again. "It's a date," she repeated, a little softer than him.
"I'm… gonna go shower," Chase told her, turning halfway around. "I'll meet you at your room in forty-five minutes?"
"Sure. I'll take care of lunch."
"You sure? I can just grab some stuff-"
"It's no big deal; I've got some time to kill," Zoey protested kindly, already collecting her various items and stuffing them into her beach bag.
"Okay then," Chase nodded. They stood awkwardly for a moment, he, sweating profusely and avoiding her eyes, and she, holding her things and not able to get by him. "So see you in forty-five minutes?"
"You bet," Zoey said with a smile. After a moment she added, "Um, Chase, you're in front of the stairs…"
"Oh! Oh, sorry!" Chase spluttered, backing up and almost tripping on one of the chairs. He caught himself and stood quickly, trying to retain some calm. "Forty-five minutes," he repeated.
"Forty-five minutes," Zoey agreed, giggling to herself. She walked by him and down the stairs, her smile turning into a grin.
About fifty minutes later, Chase walked up to room 101 of Brenner Hall and stared at the door. He patted down his curly hair, though that did nothing since it all bounced back up the second he removed his hand. He fixed the collar on his blue, short-sleeve button-down shirt and swiped his hands down the legs of his jeans, making sure there weren't so many wrinkles that he looked unkempt, but enough that he looked casual. For good measure, he sniffed himself.
Finally sure of his appearance and hygiene, Chase knocked on the door. He heard movement inside and cleared his throat nervously. Today was going to be the day. Today. Not tomorrow, not next week, not at the class of 2009's twenty-year reunion, but today.
Today, Chase Matthews was going to tell Zoey Brooks that he loved her. Well, liked her. He didn't want to press his luck.
Becoming antsy, he knocked again, but the moment his fist was about to meet the wooden door for the second time, it opened abruptly and he stumbled forward, right into the girl of his dreams.
"Whoa!" Zoey said, putting out her hands to stop his fall. "Sorry! You okay?"
Chase straightened up and tried to become cool again. "Oh, yeah, uh, no problem." He fixed a smile on his face.
Zoey laughed, a little nervously, and absent-mindedly smoothed down her short, khaki skirt once more. She'd changed the minute she'd returned to her dorm room, from a pair of paint-splattered shorts and an orange t-shirt to the skirt and a blue tank top. Today was going to be a special day, she could feel it. Today… something was going to happen. And she wanted to look her best for it.
"You look nice. Love the shirt," Zoey commented, gesturing towards Chase's button-down that, ironically, matched her own top.
"Thanks," Chase said, his voice cracking a little (today of all days it had to do that; hadn't that ended two years ago?). "You look great."
Zoey felt herself blushing a little under his appreciative stare. It hadn't been until recently that she'd realized she almost always turned red when Chase complimented her, or looked at her for longer than was necessary, or smiled in that special way at her that made her heart melt. She hadn't even known what any of that meant before; heck, she wasn't sure she knew what any of it meant now. What fifteen-year-old was expected to truly understand their own feelings anyway?
Chase's eyes drifted from Zoey's general head vicinity downwards. That was another thing she'd noticed him doing lately: letting his gaze wander to certain… other areas of her body that were most certainly not her face. And though it made her feel anxious and unsure when he did this, it also secretly pleased her to know that someone was noticing. Zoey was glad she'd worn the tank top with the neckline that plunged a little more than others she had.
The silence was longer than was probably appropriate, but Chase had managed to catch himself before he thought Zoey was noticing where his eyes had been. To cover, he stuttered, "Uh, you, uh, wear that key… a lot."
Zoey fingered the key at the end of the chain around her neck. "Oh, yeah, well… I'd forget it, otherwise," she told him.
"Right, yeah, that makes sense," Chase agreed. "So… should we go?"
"Yes!" Zoey said. "I've got the basket…" She bent over and grabbed the handles of the wicker basket she'd borrowed from one of the other girls, and lifted it up to show it off.
"You got an actual picnic basket?" Chase laughed.
"Yeah, well, how else can we have a real picnic?" Zoey questioned. "I've even got a blanket inside."
"You think of everything," Chase said with a shake of his head. "Man, all I brought was my wallet."
"It's okay," Zoey assured, pushing Chase into the hallway and following him out. She locked the dorm door and then the two headed down the hallway and into the lounge. Many of the girls were there, doing homework, watching TV, and chatting with their friends. A few looked up curiously as Zoey and Chase passed by, while others immediately began whispering to each other. The two friends attempted to ignore the obvious stares and equally as obvious conversations about themgoing on.
Outside, the weather was just as nice as earlier. "Where should we go?" Zoey asked, shielding her eyes from the sunlight as she looked at Chase.
"Follow me," he instructed, placing his hand on the small of her back and giving her a little push in one direction.
She obliged easily, letting him lead her across the grass and by numerous people, some who they knew, some who they didn't know. They kept walking until they were at the edge of a hill, though the grass kept going down the slope and eventually disappeared. They could see the water, right there in front of them, with no obstructed view. Medium-sized rocks lined part of the hill, with a few flowers blooming around them.
"Wow, Chase, it's gorgeous here," Zoey said breathlessly. "Do you come here a lot?"
"Only when I want to impress a cute girl," Chase joked, though he wasn't kidding at all. "C'mon, let's put the blanket down."
In the distance kids were similarly lying down on blankets of their own, some in large groups, others reading or seemingly asleep in the sun. One unfortunate girl was developing a sunburn on her face. A few boys were played Frisbee, running and yelling.
Zoey and Chase unfolded the checkered blanket and let it glide onto the grass. They sat down across from each other, the basket to her left, his right. Both slipped off their shoes and stretched out leisurely.
"I'm glad you wanted to have lunch with me," Zoey said suddenly as she handed him a sandwich. "We haven't really… hung out lately."
Chase was caught off-guard by this, but accepted the offered food and nodded. "Yeah, well… you know, we've both been busy and stuff."
Thoughtfully, Zoey took a bite of a carrot. She wasn't sure if she should start talking about this specific topic yet. So far they were having such a nice time, she didn't want to make it weird between them. She wanted things to go back to how they were.
Or move forward to something new?… (She was still mad at Lola for weeks ago, when she'd asked Zoey if she liked Chase; it had put ideas into her head that she wasn't sure she wanted there.)
"You know, we haven't even hung out alone together since spring break," she attempted, deciding it was now or never.
Chase looked like he was about to choke on his sandwich, but he swallowed successfully before replying slowly, "Yeah… well, I guess… I mean we didn't exactly end on the best terms… after that stupid game…"
"I know. And… I'm sorry," Zoey apologized.
"For what?"
"For getting so mad over that whole cheating thing. And not believing you when you said you didn't."
"Hey, we all make mistakes," Chase said confidently. "Besides, you girls still won the whole thing."
"Thanks to you," Zoey responded. "You could've knocked me off of that platform… but you didn't. That was… nice of you."
"Well you were mad at me," Chase shrugged, his words quiet. "And I wanted to show you that you're more important to me than some stupid game. It was the only thing I could do."
Zoey once again felt her cheeks grow hot, and she had to concentrate on getting another carrot out of the container instead of looking at him. "You know, you could've just told me why you took my TekMate," she pressed, picking up a conversation that had never been finished two months before.
Chase sighed, placing his soda down. "That wasn't important."
"Obviously it was if you were so determined to not tell me," Zoey countered.
"Look, Zoe, that was like, months ago. Why can't you let it go?"
"Because you were going to tell me the day my TekMate broke, at the fountain, remember? And then later I asked you again and you said it wasn't important, just like you did now, but it was important. I know it was." Zoey was sitting on her legs, now, ready to jump up and hurry away if things got really ugly. She crossed her arms over her chest.
Chase was staring, brows furrowed, at the blanket they were sitting on. "I thought I signed up for a picnic, not an interrogation?" he asked sharply, this subject very sore to him. She had no idea how much he wanted to tell her, how long he'd been waiting for the right moment, how many times he'd gone over every conversation, look, smile they'd shared since they'd met, wondering what it all meant.
Zoey let out a breath of frustration, a low noise accompanying it. "If I had wanted to spend time with a jerk I would've asked Logan to have a picnic with me," she shot back, her hands slapping against the top of her thighs.
"I just don't want to talk about that anymore, alright? I don't get why you can't understand that," Chase said with attitude. He'd never gotten really mad at Zoey, but right now she was baiting him, and he did not appreciate it one bit.
"I can't understand it because you won't tell me what the heck is going through your head!"
"I don't want to tell you what's going through my head! We all have secrets! Sometimes people have things they don't want to share!"
"Well when something is bothering you to the point of stealing from me and then mysteriously letting me win a stupid game, and then avoiding me for two months, I want to know what it is so maybe I can figure out how to fix that!" Zoey exploded, standing up.
Chase followed suit, and for the first time in a long time Zoey noticed how tall he was. Anger was etched across his face, and it was all directed at her, something she'd never truly witnessed before. "Avoiding you? I haven't been avoiding you! I still talk to you every day, we still do things together!-"
"Yeah, with at least two other people around!" Zoey pointed out, her hands thrown out in front of her and towards him. "We used to be best friends, Chase. We were together no matter what!"
Chase made a face and motioned from her to him and back again. "We're together right now!" He sighed and said, softer, "What answer are you looking for, Zoey?"
"I want to know why things are so different between us now."
Chase shrugged. "Then I don't know what to tell you."
"Oh please, Chase."
"'Oh please Chase', what?" Chase asked. "What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean," Zoey said, beyond frustrated at this point. She'd had some idea of his feelings, of the extent of his feelings, that maybe he'd said something in that text message that had pertained to his feelings, that he'd been about to tell her his feelings numerous times, but right now he was being an idiot if he wouldn't step up to the plate and just say them.
Chase looked like a kid caught stealing. Did she know?, was the question he kept asking himself in his mind. What if she does? What if she's getting mad because she doesn't feel the same way? Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.
"I really don't know what to say to you to make you stop being angry right now," Chase admitted, still feeling edgy.
Zoey's eyes were watering a little. Maybe she had misjudged everything she'd ever thought might have, could have, been between them. Maybe he had never been jealous, but concerned. Maybe he had never been giving her a special smile, just a normal one. Maybe he had been checking her out like he'd check out any other girl. Maybe what the text message had said really wasn't important.
Maybe Zoey had developed feelings for a boy who had never liked her back in the first place.
She was saved from responding with a wavering voice by the guys who had been playing Frisbee. The disc had landed right near their picnic area and all six of the guys had rushed over to grab it, coming between Zoey and Chase's argument. They were horsing around, pushing each other, yelling things, and playfully fighting over the Frisbee right beside the two unhappy friends.
One of them saw Chase and a look of friendly recognition crossed his features. "Hey, Chase!" he called loudly, though he was only a few feet away.
Chase, still caught up in what had just transpired, waved back disinterestedly. "Hey, Joe."
Joe jogged over to the blanket and Zoey turned towards the ocean, discretely wiping away the tear that had coursed down her cheek. The newcomer looked at the picnic and then between Chase and Zoey. "Oh, am I interrupting?" he asked suggestively, raising his eyebrows.
Chase glanced at Zoey once before responding woodenly, "No. Not at all."
Looking a bit confused, Joe said, "Well then, you two wanna join our game? We've got some of the other kids around to get off their butts and play too. We were hoping to get like, ten-on-ten or something. You in?"
Zoey replied immediately, "No, thanks. I've got homework to do." She bent over and began putting things back into the wicker basket. Joe and Chase watched her for a moment, before Joe turned and waited for the other's answer.
By now Zoey was folding up the blanket. "I'm in," Chase said stonily, already cursing himself for the fight he and Zoey had just had. It was all his fault. Why did he get so angry? Why couldn't he control anything he said or did when she was around? Why had he messed things up between them… again? She was never going to forgive him.
Zoey faced the two boys fully again, holding the basket against her stomach as if shielding herself with it. She gave Chase one final look over, her posture suggesting composure but her eyes betraying her brutally. This look was so different from when she'd complimented his shirt in her dorm room, back when it had been easier.
'Back when it had been easier'. Had that really only been half an hour ago?
"See you later," Zoey said emotionlessly, already walking away.
"'Bye," Chase weakly called.
Joe watched Zoey's retreating form and then raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Girl trouble?"
"You could say that," Chase mumbled.
So much for today.
XXX