DICLAIMER! I don't own anything except me myself and I. And my pen name.
:meow
(This is Sirius's book, in his point of view)
I, once, was a prankster. Well I still am. Deal. Anyway, this is my book: 'The Ramblings of a Sexy Marauder'. Enjoy. Well, it's actually a dairy. Or diary. But that sounds girly, and I'm a MAN! So, dairy, or journal? I like dairy. Enjoy my dairy.
Me (fabulous me!) and James (me best friend since we were ickle firsties… I was still the hotter one…) Remus, (who I sometimes get confuzzered with various people: James, Lily, and an assorted amount of strangers.) and Peter (the fiend… I mean, fan, we can't get rid of) and a llama I ran into ice skating on the pond… literally.
We were going to Zonko's joke shop when we ran into some Slytherin's, literally once again, and hexed them into next week and a month after. The llama couldn't hold his new wand I bought for him, so we all just hexed double in the name of Fred! (That's the llamas' imaginary friend.) after Zonko's we went off in separate directions, James to go stalk lily like crazy in love people do, peter probably to go watch lily yell at James, Remus, well, being Remus he'd be at the library, or with some girl that I've never heard of because she's so shy. Me you ask? I'd be at Madam Puddifoot's café, snogging the brains out of… what's her name? Oh right! Bee… or something close. When I got there she was already waiting at my famous table. (ALL marauders had a famous table… no one sat there for various reasons, one being we would hex them father in time then those Slytherin's back there.) The llama was there to with his date, Fred's sister, who was super hot for someone I'm not supposed to be able to see. I mean she was sweating! Why didn't she take off her coat? Well, when I got to the table, the person I think is named Tiffany, started snogging me, and given time to think I wondered into the silent, white place that was my brain.
Why is it called Madame Puddifoot's café? Does she have a Puddifoot? On second thought, I don't want to know. Wonder if I finished the transfiguration homework that is due tomorrow…. Oh! Is that Lily? Why is she with that O'Brien kid? Why isn't James there to hex him into… a year from today? NO! Twenty years from today! He would be like… be thirty then! And let's make him fat, shall we? Okay, he's now fat in my brain. And has no hair! And is a real slob! All right! Suddenly a monkey appeared in my head and I became entranced with it… it's so furry… I want to pet it…
When I got back from detention for beating up Fred because he hurt the llamas feelings, I saw a pony. I liked pony's… until that one attacked me when I tried to pet it. Its sparkly blue eyes turned red with flames in them and chased me twice around the grounds, me screaming and crying, "I hate you! Stupid ugly fire breathing pony! What did I ever do to you? I never even said a single word to you and your running after me! Where did you learn your manners? I don't think you did learn them, because this is not a good way to make a good first impression! Do you think I'll become you friend after this? Because I won't! you'll be a lonely pony who has no friends!" it went on like that for a long time until I realized he was chasing the parrot that was yelling things about the pony's mother, who seemed in the parrots eyes to cover the whole pacific ocean and was as ugly as a gorillas butt. He also said she sat next to Jesus in college, or was it Adam and Eve? Anyways, I pushed the parrot off me and he left, flying free in the sky I started to cry. Fly free, parrot and dear friend. It's not safe anymore! Go, fly to the heavens were you belong! He looked at me funny then flew very fast away. Why? I may never know.