All righty...here is chapter 4! This is the "meanwhile, back in Scranton" chapter. It kind of breaks off from canon, meaning that though Valentine's Day has passed, all of the events of Valentine's Day have not happened--like, Ryan and Kelly kissing on February 13th. I also borrowed Ryan's thing about never getting married from Dwight's Speech. So just be aware of that. (I don't own the Office, if anyone's wondering about that, too. LOL) Anyway, in this chapter, Dwight, Angela, Kelly, Ryan, and Michael all make an appearance, and I really enjoyed writing it. That said, I hope you guys enjoy reading it! Thanks to everyone who's read so far--you're all so great!
Chapter 4: No One's Business
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"It's no one's business what Jim and Pam are doing on their business trip. Besides, it's a business trip. The office, whether it is here or in Cleveland, is no place for romance."
Angela cleared her throat.
"Although, I'm fairly certain neither Jim nor Pam believes that. The way they look at each other sometimes…and she's engaged, too. Some people should really learn how to control their…urges."
Angela sent a furtive glance around the room, and then glared into the camera again. "In any case, what Jim and Pam do—or don't do—is none of our business. I've said it before. Office…romances are no one's business but the people in them."
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The camera followed Angela as she bought two chocolate bars from the vending machine and discreetly dropped one on Dwight's desk as she passed. She saw his pleased, hungry smile from the corner of her eye and her own lips curved up.
She walked away, but Dwight's eyes stayed on her backside.
The cameraman shuddered a little behind his camera.
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"Office romances? I have no idea what you're talking about. Yes, I have a girlfriend, but who says that she is in this office right now?"
Dwight's eyes narrowed.
"I shouldn't say anything more. My girlfriend—she's petite, but I think she could kill me with just a gaze."
Dwight looked vaguely turned on by this thought, and the cameraman felt like he was going to puke.
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"What do I think of office romances? Omigod, are you talking about me and Ryan? Does everyone know I like him? Omigod, how embarrassing! Am I blushing? I'm blushing, aren't I? I can feel it."
Kelly took a breath and kept going.
"Oh, has he said anything to you? Do you think he likes me? Could you imagine! We'd be office gossip, just like Jim and Pam!"
Kelly's hand flew to her mouth.
"Oops! I didn't mean to say that. But, I mean, it's kind of obvious. And so sad! Like a movie or one of those romance novels. Jim is like the tortured hero, and he's pining for Pam, the pretty girl who doesn't know she's like, totally in love with him! But anyway—has Ryan said anything to you? God, he's just so cute! Ooooh, what if we got married someday? Could you imagine how adorable our kids would be? I hope he secretly wants a long-term thing because I really, really do. I mean, I said before that I was open to anything, but hello, sometimes boys don't know that they secretly want something long-term. Sometimes they have to meet their perfect girl. Their soulmate. And I could be Ryan's! Omigod, could you ask him what he thinks about marriage?"
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Ryan looked like a frightened, caged animal staring down the barrel of a tranquilizer gun.
"Oh. My. God. Tell her…tell her that I am never getting married. Ever. Ever."
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"He said that?"
Kelly looked very hurt, and she blinked a few times before getting up and heading into the bathroom.
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"I don't know who's worse—Kelly or Michael. And to be honest with you, that scares me. A lot."
Ryan stared into the camera, eyes pleading.
"Help me. Please help me."
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The camera panned to Michael's office window, where he could be seen at his desk, not working, but just staring at reception, where Ryan was bent over the fax machine, trying to fix a paper jam.
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"No I was not staring at Ryan's butt. Although, if I was, I would have to say that it's pretty nice. Haha! No, I just like to make sure that my employees are doin' okay. Especially the less experienced ones like Ryan. Like, he's a baby bird who just left the nest, and I'm the older, more experienced, yet still young-looking papa bird who needs to make sure that he's all right, you know, eating all the right worms and stuff. Really, I'm just making sure that Ryan is eating his worms, at the office. That's not a crime. If it is, well then lock me up, baby! I'm guilty! Guilty! Haha!"
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Kelly had a steely look on her face as she dropped some reports on the reception desk.
"Here you go," she said shortly, and Ryan nodded in acknowledgement. Kelly turned to go, but before she walked away, she muttered just loud enough for Ryan (and the cameras) to hear.
"You know, Ryan, if you never get married, you'll end up just like Michael."
Ryan glared at her, but a horrified look passed over his face when she walked away.
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Ryan cast a very tired, beaten look into the camera.
"I really need to find a new job."