Sometimes I just wish I could have a break.
I am sitting on my rocking chair, feeding Grace. Overwhelmed. I am only 16. Why did I think I could do this? She is three months old…and I have her for the rest of my life. Grace is asleep quickly, and I look down into her beautiful face. I did this. I feel content for approximately five seconds until she wakes up, screeching.
"Go," Marion says.
I am not to sure whether I SHOULD leave Grace with Marion.
Not that she is a bad person, its just. Well…maybe a couple hours….
That's how I spent the night out with Halley for the first time in three months. We considered going to the club, or that party across town. Halley looked at me. "Do you really want to go there?"
"No."
I didn't.
Really, I have grown up so much in the past year, I feel that these parties are not working for me. No alcohol, no dancing, I am over that. That part of my life is done.
Halley and I step outside, and its raining. Halley groans, and complains, but I like it. It feels refreshing. I take a deep breathe of the soft, moist air, and find myself at ease. I smile and say, "Lets walk to the park."
Halley looks slightly unhappy about this, but then she catches my eye. She sees how happy and content I am.
We walk.
As I pass a particularly shiny car, I see my reflection. Newly curvy body, exactly three sizes bigger than it was six months ago. I have agonized over this for awhile now. But it seems to fit tonight. Just right. I feel beautiful. I start skipping, and Halley has to run to keep up with me. We get to the park, sit on the swing, and talk about how different our lives are now. I look at Halley, and hug her. Not for the fist time I tell her she rocks and there are no words to describe how much she has been there for me in my life. Throughout my whole entire life in this city, we have been friends. Always there for each other. She stayed by me during my pregnancy, and my three month motherhood. She blushes, saying its easier than I think. She looks up at the sky. She just sits there, her hands holding onto the swing she's sitting in, and looks. Soon I look. The clouds were dark, usually thought of as gloomy. I liked them.
So there we sat, looking at these dark rain clouds, wondering how our long lives to come would treat us. Thinking, for the first time how happy we are, and hope to be. I have Grace, Halley and her family, Marion, Michael's parents, and myself. I will keep strong. I now I will, and looking up at these dark rain clouds I am content. I am happy.
Seeing them, I feel free.
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I wrote this for my english class and loved it.
-Jazzy Fairy