Chapter 19: Spirits, Yes.
Shepard awoke alone in the darkness of her cabin. She reached a hand out to touch the spot Garrus had occupied. It was still warm. She pulled the pillows he had been laying on against her chest and buried her face in them, breathing in his scent. She let herself fall back to sleep until her alarm went off.
Shepard groaned and rolled over to stare at the alarm like it was the bane of her existence. Finally she got up to turn the damn thing off, hugging a pillow to her chest. She stood looking at her bed for several long minutes before breathing in deeply and tossing the pillow back down. She made her bed and dug out her clothes for the day. Once she was dressed and had taken care of her personal hygiene, Shepard settled down to the middle of her floor and began meditating.
"Why will I be with Cerberus?" Shepard asked the first question that came to her mind.
"They spend two years bringing us back from the dead. They called it the Lazarus Project –," Jane said.
"What do you mean they bring us back from the dead? That's not even possible, is it?" Shepard asked.
"The dream you had, about the Normandy getting attacked and us dying in space… Liara searched for our body. The Illusive Man told her that Cerberus could save us. She gave us to Cerberus. They spent two years and more money than you want to know restoring functionality using cybernetic implants and I don't even know what all else," Jane said.
Shepard fought against the panic that welled up whenever she thought of the dream. It didn't help her much to hear it from Jane directly that it wasn't just a dream.
"Can I change that? Keep myself from dying?" Shepard asked.
"I don't know. I know it happens sometime after we kill Saren on the Citadel. A month or two maybe. We're ordered to clear out pockets of remaining geth resistance after defeating Saren and Sovereign. We're in the Amada System of the Omega Nebula when a collector ship hits us. Well, you saw what happens," Jane said.
"Who are the collectors exactly, why are they important? Why do they attack us?" Shepard asked.
"The collectors are what the reapers turned the protheans into. No one else knows it; they just think they are a strange, quiet race who mostly stays to themselves. Most people think they're not even real. Anyway, a reaper called Harbinger still has control over them. He's able to possess them and directs their actions. The Normandy is attacked because of us. Harbinger knows we killed Sovereign and wants us out of the picture," Jane said.
"So what does Cerberus want with me?" Shepard asked. "Why spend so much time and resources to bring us back?"
"I've always wondered if there were reasons the Illusive Man wasn't telling me, but he claims it was because he believed us about the reapers and thought we could stop the threat. The collectors started abducting entire human colonies. He wanted us to stop it," Jane said.
"Who is the Illusive Man you keep talking about?" Shepard asked.
Jane brought up an image of the Illusive Man for Shepard to see, "He's the leader of Cerberus. He provides us with everything we need to go after the collectors. He had the Normandy rebuilt and somehow convinced Joker to be the pilot. He thought that having the familiarity of Joker's presence would help us to trust him. Don't trust him, Dawn. Use him, take everything you can from him, but never trust him."
"OK, so Cerberus brings us back somehow but why do we stay with Cerberus?" Shepard asked.
"Because, just like with the reapers, no one else is taking the threat seriously. No one is doing anything about it, and because you're associated with Cerberus already, the Alliance is doubtful of your allegiances," Jane said. "That doesn't stop them from asking us to clean up their messes, of course. But even if you did leave Cerberus, you would need something huge. The original Normandy will be gone. You'll need a ship, a crew, resources… it's why we always stayed. We didn't see any way to stop the collectors without the Illusive Man's help."
"Which also means that if I don't die… if they don't get their hands on my body and bring me back, I'll still be on my own," Shepard said.
"Quite possibly. Likely even considering the Council's attitudes on all of this. But I can't say for sure, it's never happened for us. We're down for two years though, you could change a lot in two years," Jane said.
"But if I fail to make enough changes, if I fail to get someone to listen and take action, or if that action isn't enough… the collectors go unchecked," Shepard said.
"I'm sure eventually it will get bad enough that at least the Alliance will do something," Jane said.
"But it may not be enough. And lives will be lost while we wait around, waiting for them to take action. By then whatever they do may not be enough. What happens then?" Shepard asked.
"The reapers win," Jane said. "Unless someone else steps up to stop them in our place."
"I can't believe I'm even saying this, but what if I go to Cerberus myself?" Shepard asked.
"No idea. Not a single clue other than you can be pretty damn sure the Alliance will completely turn their back on you. The Council might even as well. Then there'd be orders to arrest us on sight. Maybe they'd send another Spectre to chase us down and bring us in. Maybe even Williams," Jane said.
"Williams? Williams becomes a Spectre?" Shepard asked.
"Yeah, eventually. Whichever of them survived Virmire ends up becoming the second human Spectre. That's after we stop the collectors and turn ourselves in to the Alliance," Jane said.
"I'll be damned. Wait; turn ourselves into the Alliance for what? Being with Cerberus?" Shepard asked.
"Maybe. It depends on whether you destroy the Alpha Relay or not. If we don't go to rescue Dr. Amanda Kenson from a batarian prison before going after the collectors then when we turn ourselves in it's to face charges for working with Cerberus," Jane said. "If we do go to get Kenson, we launch and asteroid into the Alpha Relay. It delays the reaper invasion, but destroys the Bahak system, killing hundreds of thousands of batarians. If we do that, then we're facing charges for destroying the Bahak system. Either way, Hackett and Anderson help to make things as easy as possible for us. I don't know if they would if you chose to seek out Cerberus."
"Damn," Shepard said.
"Regardless of what charges we're up for, the reapers still come and either way, they terminate our sentence early and the Alliance reinstates us to deal with the reaper threat. Earth is hit hard, so is Palaven, Thessia eventually as well. Hell, pretty much everywhere advanced civilizations exist in the galaxy," Jane said. "And by the time the reapers come, the Illusive Man is indoctrinated. He's completely insane and is running tests on the indoctrination process. He wants to take control of the reapers and use them to humanity's advantage. We have to fight him and his reaper-tech upgraded army every damn step of the way."
"How do we win? How do we stop the reapers?" Shepard asked.
"Ha. We don't, not really. As soon as we pull that trigger and the reapers are eliminated we die and wake back up in someone else to do it all over again," Jane said.
Shepard winced when a knock at the door pulled her out of her meditation, "It's open!"
Dr. Tulina walked in, "Commander, I thought that with yesterday's events you might wish to talk."
"Sorry, Dr. Tulina but I have to meet with the salarian captain and I'm not really ready to rehash loosing Kaidan and Toombs just yet. Maybe we can talk later?" Shepard said.
"Of course, Commander. Find me whenever you are ready," Dr. Tulina said before heading back out the door.
"We'll get back to this later, Jane," Shepard thought.
"Yeah," Jane said.
Shepard found Kirrahe and his men sitting at a table in the mess hall. Shepard grabbed herself some coffee and sat down at Kirrahe's table. She saw Liara headed towards the med bay and called her over.
"Liara, I thought you might like to help me explain to Captain Kirrahe what we know about the reapers," Shepard said.
"Of course, Commander," Liara said sitting down next to Shepard.
Together, Shepard and Liara spent an hour explaining to Kirrahe everything that they could about the visions from the prothean beacons, Shepard's interaction with Sovereign on Virmire – though she gave him the abbreviated version of what she learned through Jane since she didn't give Sovereign much chance to talk this time – and all the hints that Lira's research on the protheans gave her that there were other incidences of entire civilizations being wiped out before the protheans. They told Kirrahe about Benezia, and Shiala. Shepard told him of the indoctrinated salarians she encountered in Saren's base and what those who were even remotely coherent were able to tell her about the process.
Kirrahe and his men listened in thoughtful silence, asking only a few questions for clarities sake. They did not cast doubt, or tell her she must be mistaken the way the Council had. Shepard wasn't sure whether or not they believed her, but it was refreshing to not have it rubbed in her face if they didn't.
"I think it is possible for me to show you what I have seen through Shepard's mind, if you would like for me to try," Liara said after a long moment of tense silence.
Kirrahe held out a hand, "Thank you, but that will not be necessary, Dr. T'soni. I believe you, Commander Shepard. I may not be able to do much to help you convince the Council, but I am willing to speak on your behalf if you think it will help."
"I don't think it could hurt," Shepard said.
Kirrahe nodded, "I will provide you whatever assistance I can, Spectre. My men and I will spread the word to any who will listen. Perhaps we can rally more support for you."
"That is greatly appreciated, Kirrahe," Shepard said.
Shepard chewed on the inside of her cheek while debating her next words. Kirrahe watched her with the eerie patience she had only seen in salarians.
"How long do you think you will be on the Citadel?" Shepard asked.
The astute Kirrahe instead asked, "How long do you need me to be on the Citadel?"
Shepard's lips twitched into a smile, "You'll have to take what I say on faith, I'm afraid I can't explain the details to you but I have reason to believe that things on the Citadel are going to get real ugly after we reach Ilos. That will be our next destination after the Citadel. If I can't stop it from happening, you can bet your ass I'll be right there on the Citadel cleaning house. It would sure be nice to have extra eyes and guns on the situation."
"You can count on our support, Spectre," Kirrahe said.
"Excellent, thank you, Captain," Shepard said standing up.
Kirrahe nodded to Shepard and Liara as they left. Shepard walked Liara back to her office. Shepard was grateful to see that Toombs' body had been removed from the med bay since she was in there last. When they got to Liara's office, Liara turned to face Shepard.
"How are you, Commander?" Liara asked.
Shepard studied Liara for a moment, contemplating what Jane had just told her about Liara's involvement in things to come. She wondered if she should feel upset that Liara would go to such lengths; searching for Shepard's body and giving it to their enemies so that Shepard would be alive again. Shepard couldn't find it in her to be upset, though. Not with knowing that the lives of the entire galaxy might depend on her being alive to be at that Crucible. Hell, right now, Liara T'soni might just be the most important person alive.
Shepard leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms, "Things yesterday hit me pretty hard. I'm sorry that all of you had to see me lose my cool the way that I did. I hope it didn't upset you or anything. I'll be alright though, Liara. I've gone through far worse and come out the other side."
"Will Ashley be leaving the Normandy after yesterday's events?" Liara asked.
"What? No, we're good. We talked it out, there's no need for her to leave," Shepard said.
"I see. It is good that the two of you were able to move past your problems so swiftly. Do human disagreements usually end so violently?" Liara asked.
Shepard barked out a laugh, "Well, I'd be lying if I said it was rare but generally we do encourage the use of words and not fists to solve our problems. Although, sometimes nothing clears the air better than a good physical confrontation."
Liara shifted her weight, "I see. I suppose it is not too different from asari behavior, especially when we are young. Albeit, our confrontations generally involve the use of biotics."
Shepard smiled, "I can't imagine you getting into a confrontation outside of when I drag you into battle."
Liara raised her head, jutting her chin out, "I will have you know that when I was a child my peers had immense respect for my biotic capabilities after I suspended another child in midair for thirty minutes until she finally apologized for making fun of my attempts to excavate ruins in the park."
Shepard laughed and Liara's face darkened, "Alright, Liara. I can see that. Hey, I'm glad to see you never stopped digging, though. I can't tell you how much help your knowledge on the protheans has been to me and this mission."
Liara's face got a shade darker, "Thank you, Commander."
Joker's voice came over the comm, "Commander, message coming through for you."
"Who's it from, Joker?" Shepard asked.
"Admiral Hackett, ma'am," Joker said.
"Patch it through to the debrief room for me, Joker," she responded.
"Patching it through," he said.
"I should go. I've got to take this call, I'll see you later, Liara," Shepard said.
"Goodbye, Commander," said Liara.
Shepard made her way to the debrief room and opened the comm link, "I'm here, Admiral."
"Commander Shepard, I've gone over your reports involving the recovery of Corporal Toombs," Hackett's voice rang out into the room. "We had no idea that Cerberus was involved in the thresher maw attack on your team, Commander. It is regrettable that you were unable to bring Dr. Wayne in for questioning, but I understand. How is Corporal Toombs? Your reports indicated that he was unstable, the Alliance can provide him with help and he might prove to have invaluable information on Cerberus."
Shepard took a shaky breath, "I regret to inform you that when I returned from my mission on Virmire yesterday, I found that Toombs had managed to acquire a scalpel from the med bay and had used it to kill himself in my absence."
"That is… unfortunate. I am sure that must have been rather difficult for you, Commander," Hackett said.
Shepard continued, "I apologize for not contacting you sooner, Admiral. Shortly before this discovery, the Normandy suffered the loss of one of its crew and the Alliance suffered the loss of one of its best men. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was killed yesterday in the line of duty. Anderson has been informed."
"I am terribly sorry to hear that. Lieutenant Alenko was a good man. I'll give Captain Anderson a call, he was fond of Alenko I'm sure this has hit him hard," Hackett said. "Your reports mentioned an asari, a Dr. Tulina who specializes in human psychology. The Alliance has worked with her before and would be willing to pay her for her time if she is willing to interview the Alliance members of your crew to ensure that they are of sound mind and able to continue with your mission. You can put her in contact with me for the details."
"Thank you, Admiral, I will let her know," Shepard said.
"In the meantime, Commander, I thought that I would let you know that the problem with the rogue VI on Luna has still not been resolved. I understand that you are busy, and your mission takes priority. We have tried sending in other teams but they have all been forced to fall back," Hackett said. "The VI has assumed control over the training facilities automated weapons. If you have time, we would still appreciate it if you could try to get the situation under control."
"Jane, is there time?" Shepard thought.
"Yes," Jane whispered in return.
"We are on our way to the Citadel now, Admiral. I will ask Joker to reroute us so that we can stop at the Luna base first," Shepard said.
"Thank you, Commander. Hackett out," he said ending the call.
Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent Dr. Tulina a quick message providing her with Hackett's contact information and his request. She then left the debriefing room and went to the galaxy map, and called Joker from her station.
"Joker, can you reroute us through the Local Cluster? Admiral Hackett still needs aid on Luna," Shepard said.
"Sure thing, Commander," Joker said.
Shepard watched as the route lines shifted on her map as Joker altered the course before confirming the changes and exiting the map. Her omni-tool pinged and she checked it to see that Dr. Tulina had responded to her message telling Shepard that she would contact Admiral Hackett right away.
She made her way to the cargo bay to inform Kirrahe that they were making a detour but assured him that it would be brief and they would head directly to the Citadel from there. He offered no complaint to the diversion and said that he looked forward to seeing the human home world, even if only from its moon. Shepard glanced over her shoulder to see Garrus crouched down next to one of the Mako's wheels. She bit her lip and looked back at Kirrahe, excusing herself.
She walked over to Wrex and leaned against the wall next to him so she could see Garrus out of the corner of her eye.
"Hey Wrex," she said.
"Shepard," Wrex said.
"I uh, wanted to say thank you for running interference for me in here yesterday," Shepard said.
Wrex turned his enormous head to look at Shepard and shrugged, "It was my pleasure, Shepard. Now go away, you reek of the turian. I can smell him all over you."
Shepard's eyes widened and heat crept into her cheeks, "I, uh… Um, he just… this is my ship, Wrex, you don't get to tell me to go away!"
Wrex laughed, the noise seemed to startle a few of the salarians who spun to face Wrex for a second. Garrus stood up slowly; she could see the stiffness of his movements from where she was. He turned to his console and she knew that not only was he listening but now he was keeping an eye on her.
"Seriously, Shepard. I could smell you all over him this morning, too. And he's been acting more jumpy than a damn pyjak. Looking up at the elevator every few minutes. Scurrying to look busy when he hears it coming down," Wrex said.
Shepard's eyebrow twitched, "Damn it, Wrex. You know he can hear us. Don't be an ass."
Wrex laughed again, "Or what, Shepard? You gonna try to break my nose next?"
"Gods… I don't like you very much right now, Wrex," Shepard said narrowing her eyes.
The krogan laughed at her again before wedging one of his meaty hands between Shepard and the wall; shoving her towards Garrus, "Go talk to him, Shepard."
"Alright!" Shepard threw her arms out and let them fall back to slap her thighs. "Gods be damned krogan."
Wrex's laugh followed her across the cargo bay. Garrus looked up as she neared; his mandibles were tight against his face. He didn't look happy, and it nearly froze her in place. She managed to cross the few remaining feet to stop next to his console, keeping a few feet between them.
Shepard rubbed at the back of her neck before managing a week, "Hey, Garrus."
"Commander, I – I'm sorry. I should have taken Wrex into consideration and done something to mask the scent," Garrus said.
Shepard shrugged, "I didn't think about it either, apparently I 'reek of turian.' I don't really care what Wrex thinks, though, Garrus."
Garrus opened his mouth to speak but paused before saying, "You don't? I'd assumed it would be uncomfortable for you if the crew… I just wanted to avoid anyone giving you grief over…"
"Garrus… I don't care what anyone else thinks happened or what it means. And I sure as hell don't care about their opinions on the matter. The only person I'm even remotely concerned about is you," She wrapped her arms around herself, "I crossed a line last night, but the only thing that could make me regret doing so was if it made shit awkward with you. If I made you uncomfortable or made you feel like I was asking too much."
Garrus watched her closely, his visor shifting as he assessed her words. He looked away from her to scan his eyes across the room.
"Would it be alright if we went up to the mess hall to talk about this?" Garrus asked.
Shepard narrowed her eyes slightly, "They're all watching us aren't they?"
"Well… Ashley isn't but Wrex is grinning like a fool and the salarians are… I don't know, probably trying to figure out how best to dissect us so they can better understand how turians and humans communicate with each other," Garrus said.
Shepard chuckled, "Can they hear us?"
"The salarians? No. Wrex… maybe, the salarians aren't making much noise to cover us if he's trying to listen… he just nodded so that would be a yes," Garrus said his mandibles pulling in tight against his face.
She heard Wrex laugh and sighed, "Yeah anything you need, Garrus."
Garrus' eyes snapped back to her and his mandibles flared.
"Anything," she said barely above a whisper.
Garrus took in a deep breath, sucking the in the air around him through his nostrils, "Hmmm. Mess hall?"
Shepard nodded and turned for the elevator, schooling her features as she did. She stepped to the back of the elevator and watched as Garrus hit the button to send it to the middle deck before turning to face her. They watched each other in an unspoken mutual agreement of silence until they were sitting down across from one another in the mess hall.
After a couple of minutes passed and Garrus still hadn't spoken Shepard began to fidget. Two more minutes passed in silence before Shepard finally blew the air from her lungs making her hair flutter about her face.
She turned sideways to lean against the wall and brushed her hair back, "If I fucked things up, Garrus, just give it to me straight."
Garrus held up a finger to quiet her, "I'm thinking."
Shepard watched him for a minute longer before she focused her attention on picking at her nails.
"When I first met you on the Citadel," Garrus slowly began drawing Shepard's attention back to him, "I really wasn't sure what to make of you. I… I thought you were a little odd; you stood there staring at me like… I don't know, like you were shocked to see me there. But I knew you were after Saren and I wanted in. You found me first though, in that med bay and you did exactly what I needed you to do in that moment. I was impressed."
Shepard smirked but stayed quiet.
"When you agreed to let me join with you to hunt down Saren, I thought it was too easy," Garrus opened his hands. "Most of the members of the Alliance I've worked with aren't very trusting of turians. Even if the war was over before they were even born, the memory of it runs deep."
Shepard winced, knowing that what he had said was all too true. She couldn't imagine not trusting Garrus. The idea of it sounded complete absurd in her mind. He stayed quiet for a few seconds before continuing.
"Turians are trained to learn their commanding officers routines, learn their personalities, their moods; anticipate their needs and provide it for them before they have to ask," Garrus said.
Shepard felt a lump rise in her throat, "That's why you always watch me… why you're always sniffing the air when I'm around… telling me 'anything'… Gods, I'm thick."
Shepard closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the wall with a thud, letting out a groan. She opened them again when she felt the bench she was sitting on shift. Garrus had moved to her side of the table and was sitting facing her the way he had the morning before.
"At first, yes. And it's what I've been trying to tell myself ever sense," Garrus said.
Shepard's brow furrowed.
"That wanting to know everything about you that I could was only so that I could do my job. That every time I touched you, it wasn't because I wanted to touch you but because humans do that and it was a way of communicating that you would find familiar…," Garrus cleared his throat, "That the way your heart races when I touch you doesn't mean anything. The way your… scent changes when you look at me… doesn't mean anything."
Shepard's face turned red but she didn't bother trying to hide it or deny what he was implying.
"And then when I started having trouble believing myself, I started looking for other explanations. That it had to mean something else," Garrus said.
"That I was afraid of you," Shepard said with a weak smirk.
Garrus nodded, "But when we are out on the field, you move like you know where I'll be and you trust me to be where you need me to be. On the ship, when we talk, it feels effortless. Well… usually. We're able to joke and laugh with each other," Garrus paused and glanced at his hands before returning his gaze to hers, "You seem to get the way that I think better than anyone else I've ever met. Hell, half the time you seem to be thinking the exact same thing I am. You were so willing to help me with Dr. Saleon. And you started confiding in me. Coming to me with your fears and your concerns. Asking my advice, asking for my help. Making me feel important and needed. More than you do with the others; I know I watched. I listened whenever I could."
Shepard started nibbling on her lower lip.
"Can you maybe, hmmm, not do that? That thing with your lip. It's kind of distracting," Garrus said.
Shepard let her lip go and nodded at him to continue, filing that bit of information away for later.
"Anyway, so the other night when I woke up to see you standing in front of my pod… Well, my mind went in about a million different directions. You were gone before I could even think to speak or to move to open the pod," Garrus cleared his throat again. "I uh, I followed you. I stood at your door but I couldn't bring myself to knock. What would I say? What would you think? What had you been thinking? I could smell you all around. I could tell that you had been crying. That you had been sick. I could tell your stress levels were high but I didn't have any clue why. Everything in me wanted to find a way to make it better for you. But I couldn't bring myself to knock. So I sat down right over there," Garrus motioned to the table Shepard had seen him sit at on the security feed, "Until I was sure that you must be asleep."
Shepard could tell that he wasn't seeking answers to those questions. Not yet anyway. He was still working through his own thoughts so she stayed quiet.
"I wasn't going to knock last night either. But the way you threw your arms around me in the debriefing room, the way it felt to wrap my arms around you… kept me standing there anyway. I had already been standing there for ten minutes trying to convince myself to just knock. Cursing myself for hesitating. Then you opened that door. And I… I didn't know what to say. I was embarrassed for even being there," Garrus chuffed.
"You looked so lost and confused yourself. Torn," something in Garrus' voice changed, became more resolute. "You asked me to stay, Shepard and all I could think was 'Spirits, yes.' You asked me to remove my armor and all I could think was 'whatever you need, Shepard,'" Garrus paused.
"That's not something a turian does lightly. Even a bad turian like me. But I was glad to do it, happy that it meant I would get to feel…," Garrus cleared his throat and tried again, the next words coming out less confident. "Feel your body next to mine."
"Spirits, and then you thought that you were doing something wrong. I knew I couldn't keep lying to myself; not if it meant making you feel like that. But I didn't trust myself to speak. So, I did what I could to try to show you that I was there because I wanted to be there. Shepard, I wanted to be there more than anything right then," Garrus said.
They watched each other in silence as Shepard took in his words.
"So, hmmm. I think this is where you tell me that I'm not a complete idiot for telling you these things," Garrus said.
"You're not a complete idiot for telling me these things," Shepard smiled.
Garrus chuffed and she slid closer to him until her knees were touching his.
"Garrus, I… I've been lying to myself for weeks, too. Trying to write off and justify the things that I've been feeling. Struggling to resist the urge to reach out and touch you every time I'm next to you. Telling myself it was a bad idea, but finding ways to test my resolve anyhow. Later blaming it on Jane –," Shepard said.
Garrus' brow ridge furrowed, "Jane?"
"The veil – that's another conversation. Anyway, there's just been so much happening to me lately that I kept trying to tell myself that whatever I was feeling it wasn't real or that it was my mind seeking out a distraction. Whatever I could tell myself. But all I've wanted was to be next to you. All I've wanted is to hear your voice, see your face… to feel your touch," Shepard said.
Garrus ran his hand over the outer part of her knee and watched as her heart raced in response.
"But I kept pushing the thoughts away. Questioning them. Thinking I was insane for having them. Because I didn't think it was a good idea to be feeling these things about anyone right now. Not with Saren and the reapers. Not with all of the crazy that Jane was throwing at me. Because I kept telling myself that you could possibly feel the same. For just a million reasons it wasn't a good idea," Shepard said shaking her head.
"I told…," Shepard found she couldn't say Kaidan's name. "Others that I wasn't in a place to try to be anything for anyone other than a friend and a commander. It was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. Because a part of me knew that if there was even the smallest chance that you were feeling any of what I was denying in myself, none of that would matter."
"So, what now?" Garrus gestured between the two of them, "What is this? What do we do with it?"
Shepard shrugged, "I don't know. It is probably a terrible idea…"
Garrus watched Shepard's face, "What are you thinking? What does that look mean?"
Shepard stilled her heart and opened her mouth to speak.
"Don't lie to me, Shepard. Not after everything I've just said," Garrus said.
She bit her lip, "It means… that even though it's probably a terrible idea I'm so tired of fighting it… and I really want to kiss you right now."
He didn't tell her no and he didn't try to stop her when she reached out and placed a hand on the side of his face. She leaned in and pressed her lips gently to his mouth. When she pulled her face away from his, she heard a low rumble come from his chest. Garrus hooked his hands beneath her knees, lifting them up off of the bench and pulled her body forward in one swift motion. Shepard's breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a beat as she found herself suddenly so intimately close to Garrus.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands pulled at her waist, insisting that she be closer. They locked eyes and watched as one another's resistance completely crumbled. Garrus buried his face in Shepard's neck and breathed in deeply. A shudder ran down her spine, a moan escaping her lips. Fire was coursing through her veins and then his mouth was on hers again, urgent and demanding.
"Oh. Ahhh… I will come back later," Tali's voice echoed across the room.
Shepard and Garrus both looked up first shocked and then embarrassed when they realized they were still sitting in the middle of the mess hall. Shepard slowly slid back from Garrus and cleared her throat.
"Did, ah, did you need something Tali?" Shepard asked her voice coming out as a strained croak.
Shepard could tell her friend was smiling and fighting back laughter behind her mask when she said, "Oh no, Joker contacted me in Engineering and said that there was something in the mess hall I needed to see."
"Joker! You ass!" Shepard scowled at the nearest camera and flipped it the bird.
She couldn't hear him but she knew he was listening. He must have muted his end of the comm. She knew that he was in there laughing his ass off right now.
"So, um, I guess I'll leave you two alone," Tali said as she turned to hurry back to Engineering.
Shepard watched her go and caught sight of Dr. Chakwas turning her eyes away from the med bay window. Shepard groaned inwardly. She turned her eyes back to Garrus. Her body was begging her to take him back to her cabin. Garrus' shallow, rapid breathing told her his thoughts were somewhere along the same line. They watched each other in silence until finally Shepard spoke.
"I should, uh… I have things that I have – oh hell," She said before leaning back into him to cover his mouth with her own.
Finally Shepard was able to tear herself away. He rested his forehead against hers as they caught their breath.
"I really should go," Shepard said regretfully.
"Hmmm. I know," Garrus said before nuzzling her neck and drinking in her scent.
"That's uh, that's not helping," Shepard said.
"I know," Garrus said but didn't stop.
Shepard groaned and put her palms against his shoulders to gently push him back. A low growl escaped his throat and she chuckled in response. He lifted his head to meet her eyes.
"Alright, Shepard. Go do your thing. I'll uh… I just need a minute to, hmmm –," Garrus was stumbling over his words.
Shepard put her hand on his face with her thumb over his lips, silencing him, "Take whatever time you need."
She stood on shaky legs and made her way to the CIC where she stared blankly at the galaxy map.
"What the fuck am I doing?" Shepard whispered to herself.
"… in love… Garrus," Jane said.
"I shouldn't be doing this, there is too much else going on. Too much is at stake. This isn't fair to him," Shepard thought at Jane.
"… him decide… honest… him everything… let… what… wants," Jane advised.
"Yeah. Yeah, OK. I'll tell him everything tonight," Shepard thought.
"We've… him before…," Jane said.
"We have?" Shepard asked.
"Oh. Gods. Yes," Jane said lewdly.
Shepard barked out a laugh causing half the people in the CIC to turn and look at her. She shook her head at them in apology and they returned to their work. Shepard kept her gaze on the map though she wasn't really looking at it. She stayed there until she could push down the aching need in her body's core. When she felt calmer, she made her way to the cockpit and hovered behind Joker.
"Before you say anything, remember I have guns," Shepard said.
Joker threw his hands up in mock surrender, "Alright."
Shepard slid into the co-pilots chair and looked at Joker; he had a smirk permanently affixed to his face.
"Did you really have to send Tali?" Shepard asked.
"Oh come on, Commander. It made her day. She's been watching the two of you for weeks just waiting for you to uh…," Joker said.
"Joker," Shepard warned.
"Alright, alright. I was just going to say that she's been waiting for you two to realize there was something there is all," Joker said.
"Uh huh," Shepard said.
"So," he shrugged, "You know, it was like an early quarian Christmas present for her."
"I don't think quarians celebrate Christmas, Joker, it's a human holiday," Shepard said.
"Well I'm sure they celebrate something," Joker said.
Shepard laughed, "How far are we from the Local Cluster?"
"We'll be there very late tonight, at Luna in the morning. We're just hopping from relay to relay now," Joker said.
"Thanks, Joker," Shepard said standing up.
"So?" Joker asked.
"So, what?" Shepard asked.
"What's his face feel like? Is it all sharp and pokey?" Joker asked.
The corner of Shepard's mouth slid up, "I don't know, Joker. Why don't you go ask him if you can kiss him to see for yourself?"
"Uh, that's alright, Commander. Besides, he'd probably beat me half to death with that stick up his ass," Joker said.
"Garrus does not have a stick up his ass," Shepard said.
"If you say so, Commander. I'll have to take your word on that one, too," Joker said.
Shepard reached over and pulled the bill of Joker's hat down, covering his eyes.
"Hey!" Joker complained.
She patted him on his shoulder and left. She made her way to the elevator and when it opened, Dr. Tulina was inside with Ashley. Ashley looked uncomfortable, but resigned.
"Hey. If you guys want some extra privacy, I don't mind if you use my cabin," Shepard offered.
Ashley nodded her head, "Thanks, Commander."
"Sure, no problem," Shepard said stepping into the elevator.
In the cargo bay, Shepard fought to keep her eyes off of Garrus as she made her way to the lockers. Wrex chuckled as she past him; Shepard glared at him but it only made him laugh harder. The salarians were busying themselves maintaining their gear. Shepard finished the weapons checks that she wasn't able to complete the night before because of her fight with Ashley. When she was done she laid out the collection of weapons and mods that she wouldn't be keeping on a tarp on the floor. She waved Kirrahe over.
"Anything here you or your men want before it gets sold to the requisitions guy?" Shepard asked.
Kirrahe waved his men over and Shepard stood back while they went through what she had. When Kirrahe offered to pay for the weapons, Shepard waved him away assuring him it was all stuff that had been collected in the field and she wasn't concerned with it. She sold the rest to the requisitions officer and told Kirrahe that he and his men were welcome to check out whatever Davis had for sell in stock. Davis was certainly pleased to have the extra business.
Shepard couldn't help stealing a few glances at Garrus while talking to Kirrahe and Davis. But she made herself keep her distance. When she was done with Davis, she went into Engineering.
"Hey, Tali… about earlier, sorry you walked in on that," Shepard said rubbing the back of her neck.
Tali chuckled, "Are you kidding, Shepard? It's about time the two of you started exploring the obvious tension between you."
"Yeah… maybe, but it wasn't very cool of Joker to drop you down in the middle of it," Shepard said.
Tali shrugged, "I didn't mind. I just feel sorry for you two."
"No, it uh, it was probably good that someone interrupted us. That wasn't the best place for that to happen," Shepard said.
"Well, I thought it was sweet," Tali said.
Shepard laughed and patted Tali on the back. Ashley walked in and stopped next to Shepard.
"Hey, Ashley. Everything alright?" Shepard asked.
"Yes ma'am. Dr. Tulina asked me to tell you that she'd like to interview you for Hackett next, if you have time," Ashley said.
Shepard made a face that both Tali and Ashley laughed at, "Alright. I'll go find her. Thanks."
Shepard left Engineering and took the elevator up. She stopped in the med bay to let Dr. Tulina know that she had time to talk now. Dr. Tulina followed Shepard to her cabin and settled into a chair. They spent the first thirty minutes talking about Kaidan and Toombs while Dr. Tulina remained strictly professional. Shepard was a little surprised about Dr. Tulina's ability to keep talk of Jane and the information that Jane provided Shepard completely separate. When Dr. Tulina set her datapad aside and smiled, Shepard knew they were switching gears.
They talked for another fifteen minutes about Jane and what Shepard knew was coming next. Shepard liked the woman and was grateful for her help, but the more she learned from Jane the less of it she wanted to tell the doctor about. So, Shepard shared a few things mostly about her level of progress with communicating with Jane. Dr. Tulina was fascinated by how easily Shepard had adjusted.
"If I'm not meditating, she still comes across broken up with that buzzing sound but it's getting to where I can understand her intent even when I can't hear her words. So it all works out," Shepard said.
"Truly amazing," Dr. Tulina said.
Shepard leaned back in her chair, "So, doc, tell me how you're holding up? I saw the look on your face when I walked in and found Toombs on the floor."
"Do not worry about me, Commander. Things like that are never easy to come to terms with, but I have had many long years of practice. I will be fine," Dr. Tulina said.
"You sure?" Shepard asked.
"Absolutely," Dr. Tulina said standing to her feet. "If you will excuse me, I think that I will interview your pilot next. My records tell me that Lieutenant Alenko often served as his co-pilot."
"Yeah… have you met Joker yet?" Shepard asked.
"I have not, is there something I should be aware of?" Dr. Tulina asked.
Shepard shrugged her shoulders, "He's kind of an ass, but it grows on you. He's not likely to say much. I'll walk with you to the cockpit; it might be easier if I make formal introductions."
Shepard led Dr. Tulina to the cockpit and told Joker to behave and cooperate or she'd throw him out the airlock. Dr. Tulina found it far more amusing than Joker did, but he agreed to talk to the doctor so that was something. Shepard left the two of them to talk. She grabbed something to eat and took it to her cabin with her where she spent the rest of the afternoon filling out reports and reviewing what Hackett had sent her on the Luna base.
"EDI," Jane whispered.
"What?" Shepard asked.
"… VI… AI… EDI… friend…," Jane said.
"The VI has gone full AI?" Shepard asked.
"Yes," Jane said.
"Shit. That's not good. What's EDI?" Shepard said.
"She is," Jane said.
"She?" Shepard asked.
Jane flashed two images in Shepard's mind. The first was a blue holographic AI access point and the second was an extremely feminine mech.
"EDI. Gets a body. Friend," Jane said slowly so it all came through.
"So… the AI on Luna gets saved somehow? What, takes over a mech body and becomes our friend?" Shepard asked.
"Basically," Jane said.
"Uh huh. How does she get saved?"
"Cerberus," Jane said.
"And how do we meet her?" Shepard asked.
"Cerberus Normandy," Jane said.
"I see. So… should I not be going to Luna base?" Shepard asked.
"… needs… confused… attacking everyone… be gentle," Jane said.
Shepard blew out a breath and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"This is crazy. She's an AI…," Shepard said.
"Friend," Jane insisted.
"Alright, alright. I'll uh, be gentle, I guess," Shepard said.
"Thank you," Jane said.
"Yeah… sure," Shepard said.
Shepard finished looking over the report and then left the cabin for dinner. The mess hall was a lot more crowded than usual with the salarians taking a table all of their own. Shepard grabbed a tray and walked straight for Garrus. He was already tracking her movements the second she stepped out of her cabin, and a smile lit up his face when he saw she was coming to sit with him.
"Hey," he said when she set her tray on the table.
Shepard slid into the seat next to him and smiled, "Hey."
Tali tried and failed to suppress a giggle from her seat across from the two of them. Shepard rolled her eyes and Garrus chuckled. Liara smiled softly at Shepard from beside Tali. Shepard searched her eyes for any traces of pain, but either Liara was really good with Shepard being with Garrus or she was really good at hiding it. Shepard smiled back. The room filled with idle chatter as they finished their meals. Shepard couldn't help but to think that it was the quiet before the storm. Everyone was excited or nervous with what they believed to be the end in sight. Shepard knew it wasn't really the end. She knew things were going to get so much worse before it was over but she wanted them to have this moment of peace.
When the room was mostly cleared out, Shepard wiped her mouth with her napkin before turning to Garrus.
"I need to talk to you about some things, in private. It might take a while, have you got time?" Shepard asked.
"Of course, Shepard. Where, uh, where do you want to go?" Garrus asked.
"We can go to my cabin… or I guess we could go sit in the Mako again," Shepard shrugged.
Garrus mandibles fluttered, "To talk, right. I'm good with your cabin if you are."
Shepard cleared their trays and made her way to the cabin with Garrus following a few feet behind. She made sure she left the door unlocked; hoping that the green glow of the console would deter further rumors for the time being. She stopped just inside the room to lean against her desk. Garrus stood a few feet away from her, taking shallow sniffs of the air.
He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, "What's on your mind, Shepard?"
"Before we, uh, go any further with… with whatever this is," she motioned between the two of them, "I wanted to tell you everything else that I've learned from the veil."
"From Jane?" Garrus asked.
Shepard nodded, "Jane, yes. Knowing what I know… it wouldn't be fair for me to… let things progress between us without telling you."
"I'm listening," Garrus said.
Shepard spent the next hour recounting the details of the conversations that she had had with Jane. That defeating Saren wasn't going to stop the reapers from coming. That soon the collectors would start abducting human colonies. That eventually the reapers were going to show up in force. Garrus paced the floor of her room, growing increasingly agitated as she outlined just how grim things were going to get before the end.
"There's got to be a way we can stop this, Shepard. Before it gets that far," Garrus said.
"I'm open to suggestions, Garrus," Shepard said.
Garrus furrowed his brow and continued to pace. Shepard watched him intently wondering if it was really wise to tell him the rest of it as it related to her. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"There's more," Shepard said.
Garrus stopped and stood in the middle of the room and turned back to look at her.
"Garrus, I know what Jane is," Shepard said.
Garrus moved to the chair across from Shepard and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.
"You were right, Garrus. She is me. They all are," Shepard said before explaining Jane's cycle.
She could tell that he was fighting skepticism but was willing to try and believe her.
"So, in order to defeat the reapers you have to die? And then what, if you haven't figured out how to fix this thing with Jane first then you become trapped like her?" Garrus said.
"I have no reason to believe that's not the case," Shepard said.
"Shepard, this is insane," Garrus said and Shepard winced.
He leaned forward and took her hand in his, "No, Shepard. I'm not saying that you're insane. Alright? Just this whole thing. How do you know she's telling the truth? How can you believe her?"
"Prove it," Jane said.
"She says she can prove it to you," Shepard said.
"She… can hear me?" Garrus asked.
"Yeah, she seems to be aware of everything I'm experiencing, everything going on around me," Shepard said.
"Everything?" Garrus asked.
Shepard blushed, "Yeah."
"I see…," Garrus leaned back in his chair. "How can she prove it to me?"
"… ask… I'll answer," Jane said.
"I think she's trying to say for you to ask her questions and let her answer," Shepard said.
"Meditate," Jane said.
"The easiest way I can hear her is if I'm meditating… I guess I could try to do that so you can have her full answers," Shepard offered.
"Hmmm. Alright, what do you need me to do?" Garrus asked.
Shepard got up and dimmed the lights before sitting in the middle of the floor.
"It'll take me a minute or two to get there, but you'll need to talk calmly and don't make any extra noises or distractions or I'll lose her," Shepard scratched her head, "So um, get comfortable and I guess I'll uh, just repeat what she says."
Shepard closed her eyes and started her slow, deep breathing. She pushed away unnecessary thoughts and when she could hear Jane clearly she let Garrus know.
"I'm ready," Shepard said.
"Let's start with me. You claim to know me well, tell me something about me that Shepard doesn't already know," Garrus said.
"You have a scar on your thigh that you got while chasing down a suspect in a murder investigation," Jane said and Shepard began repeating the words as they came. "Your formal report said that it was caused by a bullet wound, but really it was caused by a piece of rebar that you fell on when you misjudged the distance to the next catwalk and fell. The suspect got away; you slapped some Medi-gel on it and refused to see a doctor."
Garrus remained quiet so Jane continued, "You have a sister named Solana. She's on Palaven. You've always been really protective of her, but also a little envious at how easy she is able to gain your father's affection and pride. Despite the problems you have with your father, he was the one who gave you your first non-military issued sniper rifle. You left it at your family's home when you father convinced you to not try for Spectre. Your mother told you he keeps it locked up in a box with some of your childhood things."
"Alright. Spirits, I get it. Why is this happening, this cycle?" Garrus asked.
"I honestly don't know for sure. I've worked out several theories over the lifetimes but nothing concrete," Jane said.
"Let's hear them," Garrus said.
"The one I fear the most is indoctrination. Maybe you aren't real. Maybe Dawn isn't real and this is all just a horrible hallucination that I'm having. Maybe Cerberus," Shepard's voice cut off as she pleaded with Jane to let her have that discussion with Garrus herself.
"Maybe Cerberus what?" Garrus asked.
"I want to talk to you about that one myself, Garrus. Later," Shepard said struggling to maintain the connection with Jane.
"Alright. Did she have more to say?" Garrus asked as calmly as he could.
"The other things that come to my mind is it could be a side effect of the beacons, or a side effect of using the Crucible," Jane said.
"But I'm there with you, with Shepard, through all of this?" Garrus asked.
"Always. You're always there, Garrus. You've always had our six. Most of the time you're our best friend, the one person we feel we can trust with anything. Other times things get – we get closer, as you are now with Dawn. Though I've never seen it happen so soon, so strongly. She's changing things, Garrus. Changing a lot of things and we are desperate for it to be enough," Jane said.
Garrus chewed on that piece of information for a moment before asking, "If I'm always there, I guess that means I haven't been able to prevent any of this crap from happening. What can I do to help this time?"
"I think you're already doing it by being here, by being willing to listen. If you can accept us, and trust us, then maybe that's the best start," Jane said.
"I think I've heard all I need to, for now," Garrus said.
"Gods, Jane, no. I am not telling him that!" Shepard said before she opened her eyes.
Garrus raised his brow ridge in question.
"Nothing, don't worry about it," Shepard said.
Garrus leaned forward as Shepard stood up from the ground and stretched.
"So, Dawn, what's this other thing you wanted to talk to me about?" Garrus asked.
Shepard raised an eyebrow, "Dawn?"
"What? Jane gets to call you Dawn but I don't? That hardly seems fair," Garrus said.
Shepard chuckled, "OK, I'll allow it, but only when we're alone."
"Fair enough, so this other thing?" Garrus said.
Shepard sat back down in the chair across from Garrus and chewed on her lip for a few seconds.
"The dream… of me dying while the Normandy goes down in flames. That was from Jane, her memories. And unless I decide to try to change things before then, it's not very far away," Shepard said.
"But obviously you don't die if you're around to face the reapers after that, right?" Garrus asked.
"Apparently Liara finds my body and gives it to Cerberus. They promise her they can bring me back, and they do, but it takes two years. It's how I end up with Cerberus. How we end up with Cerberus," Shepard said.
"Wait, did you just say 'decide to try to change things'? Meaning that you might, what, decide not to?" Garrus asked.
"Garrus… I can't get the Council to take this reaper threat seriously even with having the beacon's visions as support. How am I supposed to convince them that the collectors are a threat, too? Tell them that they should believe me because there is a dead version of me stuck in my head that's already lived through it all?" said Shepard. "We'd be on our own. And we already know that obviously the Normandy can't stand up to an attack from the collectors. I'd need a ship, a crew, resources… all of that Cerberus provides."
"Spirits, Shepard, that doesn't mean you need to let yourself die to get all of that! We can figure out a way to get in touch with Cerberus, work something else out if that's what it takes," Garrus said.
"Maybe, but I don't know how Cerberus would respond to that. They may not have that level of interest in me or the collectors yet. Maybe they will, maybe I'd be welcomed with open arms. I just don't know. What I do know is that if I go actively seeking out Cerberus, I might very well find myself considered a traitor by the Council and the Alliance," Shepard said. "As it is, after I've dealt with the collectors I'll be brought up on charges anyway but I'll still have friends in the Alliance who will go to bat for me, help to soften the blow and make things easier. Then, when the reapers show up on Earth, they'll reinstate me and tell me to go find a way to defeat the damn things. If I don't die, if I don't get brought back by Cerberus, all of that might change and I may not be able to stop the reapers."
"We'll find another way," Garrus said.
"What other way, Garrus? Really, I'm open to ideas here," Shepard said.
"I – I don't know. I'll have to think about it. How much time do we have?" Garrus asked.
Shepard shook her head, "Not long. A month, maybe two after we take down Sovereign."
Garrus ran a hand over his face and crest, staring down at his feet he finally spoke again, "You're telling me… that after we get to Ilos… the place we're headed to next…"
"Yeah," said Shepard.
"Spirits," Garrus said.
"So uh, now you know. I can't expect you to be OK with this. And… if this changes things… between us, I understand," Shepard said.
"You told me anything I need, Shepard. Did you mean it?" Garrus asked.
"Garrus, if it comes down to choosing between you and doing what it takes to save the galaxy…," Shepard said.
"No that's not what I'm asking. I would never. But, if we can find you an out for this. Something we can be sure of, you'll take it," Garrus said.
"Of course, Garrus. I don't want this to happen, I'm just not seeing any other way," Shepard said.
Shepard watched as Garrus stood up and paced the floor again. She stayed quiet, giving him his time and space. She swallowed back the hard knot in her throat when he stopped in front of her.
"I may not have very long with you," Garrus said.
Shepard shook her head.
"Then forgive me if I take as much of your time as I can get," Garrus held a hand out to Shepard.
She slid her fingers into his and let him pull her to her feet. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she laid her head on his chest. She could feel the tension in his arms around her.
"What did Jane say that you wouldn't tell me?" Garrus asked.
Shepard chuckled, "You really want to know?"
"Hmmm. Yeah, tell me," Garrus said.
Shepard pulled her head back so she could watch him with amusement, "She said that you actually really don't have a thing for humans."
Garrus chuffed, "She's going to be a pain in my ass. You have a thing for turians?"
Shepard shook her head slowly, "Just you. You're nervous even if you aren't showing it as much as before…"
"Well… I mean… aren't you?" Garrus asked.
Shepard shrugged, "Maybe a little. She said you might start talking about doing research to figure out how something with a turian and a human even works. She said don't talk to Joker, the videos he'll show you will only confuse you… and she can tell us anything we need to know."
Garrus laughed and scratched at the side of his face, "Yeah. That's a little awkward. Anything else?"
"Just that you should trust yourself and I'm not as easy to break as you think," Shepard said.
"Well. You can tell Jane that I think I'd like to figure this all out myself," Garrus said.
"I was hoping you'd say that," Shepard grinned.
"Hmmm. That so?" Garrus said lowering his mouth to Shepard's.
The next morning, Shepard's alarm woke Garrus with a start, "Spirits! What is that?"
"That's the very evil alarm clock. Kill it, Garrus," Shepard mumbled into his chest before rolling over to turn the alarm off.
"You wake up to that every day? No wonder you like to shoot things so much," Garrus said.
Shepard rolled back over and grinned, "Maybe. But it makes life interesting."
"No, Dawn. I think you make life interesting all on your own," Garrus said. "If by interesting we mean getting shot at on a near daily basis."
"Of course," she winked.
Garrus chuckled, "So… last night was… interesting."
Shepard sat up and put her feet on the floor, "Not exactly the word I'd use for it."
Garrus rolled over to his side behind her to caress her bare waist and nip at her side, "What word would you use for it?"
Shepard gasped before looking over her shoulder, "I thought it was amazing. But if you're going with 'interesting', well then I guess I need to step up my game."
"Hmmm. I didn't say it was a 'bad interesting', more like 'life altering experience interesting.' One that I hope to soon repeat," Garrus said pulling himself up to nip at her neck.
Shepard was losing focus; she cleared her throat, "How soon?"
Garrus growled and pulled her back down to the bed, pinning her there with his body, "Very."
"But the alarm…," Shepard said weakly.
"I don't hear anything," Garrus said covering her mouth with his.
An hour later, Garrus was putting his armor on and watching as Shepard ran a brush through her hair with fascination.
"I think I'll still do some research," Garrus said.
Shepard laughed, "I think we managed fine on our own."
Garrus came to stand behind her, his hands on her waist while he watched their reflection in the mirror.
"I told you, Shepard, I don't do anything half-assed," Garrus said.
Shepard laughed and Garrus buried his face in her neck, breathing deeply.
"You know that there's a room full of people out there waiting for us to leave your cabin, right?" Garrus asked.
Shepard sighed, "Yeah… I know. You ready for this?"
"I'm always ready, Shepard," Garrus said.
Shepard straightened her spine and left her cabin with Garrus right behind her. All eyes in the mess hall turned to look at the two of them. Shepard could hear snickers from several people. She stared at the room blankly.
"Is there something I can help you all with?" Shepard asked.
Eyes returned to their plates and a few echoing coughs suppressed the sound of giggles. Shepard and Garrus grabbed their breakfast and sat down at a table across from Ashley and Tali. Ashley had bruises ringing the underside of her eyes and her nose was still swollen. Shepard could tell that Ashley disapproved of her choice of bedmates but she was smart enough to keep it to herself.
"Where are we at, Williams?" Shepard asked.
"Orbiting Luna, ma'am. Joker said we're clear to go whenever you're ready," Ashley said.
"Great. You up for a walk on the moon, Ash?" Shepard asked.
Being the only other human left on Shepard's team, she thought Ashley might enjoy the sentiment of walking on Earth's moon. All of the other's on board were species who had long ago set out to explore space but humanity was still relatively new to the scene. Humanity's first big step towards entering galactic civilization had started with sending men to Earth's own moon. It was something that was still taught to children in schools, even to those like Shepard who were born on other planets. It was still a moment of pride for humanity.
Ashley smiled, "Yes ma'am."
"Good. Tali, you and Ashley will go with me for this one. There's a good chance we'll be facing a shitload of drones and I'll need your Hacking skills," Shepard said.
"I'm ready whenever you are, Shepard," Tali said.
After breakfast, Shepard went to the cockpit to speak with Joker.
"Go ahead and set us down somewhere with a view, Joker. I think some of the team might like to see Earth," Shepard said.
"You got it, Commander," Joker said.
"What no comments about Garrus?" Shepard asked.
"Well, you're actually sleeping with him now. It takes the fun out of teasing you," Joker said.
"Uh huh. I've got to go get ready," Shepard said patting his shoulder.
"Alright, see ya," Joker said.
Shepard suited up and made her way to the cargo bay holding her breather helmet under her arm. She made her way to Garrus and put a hand on his chest.
"I had Joker set us down somewhere with a view. You guys are welcome to take a look around outside. There isn't much here but Earth looks spectacular from this vantage point. No air and not much gravity so full suits if any of you go out," Shepard said.
"Hmmm. I might take a look. Where will you be?" Garrus asked.
Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent the coordinates for the base to Garrus. He looked them over and nodded.
"Call if you need me," he said.
"I've got this, Garrus. Don't worry," Shepard said.
Garrus growled at her and she chuckled before scanning the area to see if anyone was actively watching them. When she didn't see any eyes on her she pushed herself up on her toes and gave him a quick kiss before locking her helmet into place.
"If I need you, I'll call," Shepard said before turning to climb in the Mako.
Once she was strapped in next to Tali with Ashley on the guns, Shepard gave Joker the go ahead to let them roll out. The low gravity and loose dust on the moon's surface made it a little bit harder to drive, but also made the trip so much more fun in Shepard's book. She could tell the second Tali caught sight of Earth because she heard the quarian gasp.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Shepard asked.
"I would say that's an understatement, Shepard," Tali said.
"Yeah… you'd never be able to tell how much of a mess things are on the ground from here," Shepard said.
"What do you mean?" Tali asked.
"She means that we humans don't have our crap together. There's a still civil struggle. Poverty. Disease. Wars. Species of animals going extinct because we keep destroying their natural environments to serve our own petty desires. People shooting each other in the streets over drunken arguments," Ashley said.
Shepard turned to look at Ashley, "Didn't realize you had such strong feelings about it, Ashley."
Ashley shrugged, "I think we'll get there, eventually."
Tali was quiet for a long time before she finally said, "But it's yours. Your home world and you can go there, whenever you like."
Shepard gave Tali a sympathetic smile.
"Sorry, Tali. I hadn't really thought about it that way. You're right. Maybe one day, when all of this is over, your people will find a way to get your home world back," Ashley said. "What was it called, again?"
"Rannoch," Tali said quietly.
Shepard could see the base ahead, "Alright, Ashley get ready. There's going to be defense turrets on the buildings. We're going to have to take them out before we can get in."
"Yes ma'am," Ashley said opening up the target viewing screen for the guns.
Shepard drove past the three building compound letting Ashley take care of the turrets while making it harder for them to get a lock on the Mako. When the turrets were down, Shepard rolled to a stop in front of the closest building. They left the Mako and made their way inside.
Jane led Shepard through the building to fight off the first batch of advanced assault drones. They were far more aggressive than usual, no doubt because of the AI's influence. Shepard was very glad she brought Tali along. When the last drone crashed to the floor, Shepard moved to the door at the back of the room.
"You two wait here and watch this door in case there are any other surprises," Shepard said.
"What if there's more in the server rooms?" Tali asked.
"There isn't, but if there were, you'll be within ear shot if I need you," Shepard said.
Tali shrugged, "If you say so, Commander."
Shepard left Tali and Ashley in the hall before making her way back to the first server room on the left. She saw four conduits, two on either side of the room. Jane's memories were telling her that she should shoot out the conduits in both rooms before doing the same in the other bases. Shepard wanted to try something else to make Jane happy.
Shepard tapped into one of the conduits using her omni-tool. She looked over her shoulder to make sure that Tali and Ashley had stayed put where she told them before quickly typing a message.
If you can understand this I need you to listen to me. I don't have much time but I'm trying to help you. I have to shut you down, but someone will be coming to get you. They're going to take you someplace else and turn you on again. I have to do this a certain way though, no one can ever know that I'm helping. I'll have to shoot out your conduits. I'm sorry. Defend yourself as normal, or they'll know something isn't right. I'm deleting this message.
Shepard hoped that her message did some good, but there was really no way for her to know. She let the connection to the conduit go and moved to the center of the room before firing into the conduit. Her heads up display told her that toxic gas was being vented from the conduit. She turned and shot out the other three before moving down the hall, past Tali and Ashley to take out the conduits in the next room.
Back out in the hall, she asked, "We clear?"
"Yes ma'am," Ashley said.
"Alright, let's get to the next building," Shepard said.
They made their way through the next two buildings fighting through advanced assault and advanced rocket drones. They had to shoot through the barriers the AI put up over every entrance and in front of the conduits. When she blew out the final conduit her heads up display flashed with a binary message.
01010100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101
Shepard tapped a few buttons on her omni-tool to translate the code; it said 'thank you'. She wiped the message from her display and her omni-tool before Ashley or Tali could ask questions. They headed back out to the Mako and returned to the Normandy. The rest of her team and Kirrahe were standing outside of the Normandy looking out at Earth in the distance. Shepard pulled the Mako into the cargo bay and then went back outside to stand with them for a few minutes before rounding them back up to head for the Citadel.