Who Was Drew Lipsky?

Chapter 3 - Motor Ed

by Shawn Q. Evans

Kim Possible and related characters copyright Walt Disney Co.

Later, at the Middleton Correctional facility.

"Thanks for seeing us on such short notice, Warden!", said Kim, cheerfully.

"No problem, Kim, after the way you stopped that prison riot!", said the Warden.

"I just tossed a few cartons of smokes out of a helicopter and into the prison yard to distract the inmates long enough for your men to round them up! No big!", said a confident Kim.

"Here you go, Miss Possible!", offered the Warden, as he motioned to the man behind the glass. "One Edward Bartholomew Lipsky!"

"Thank you, sir!", Kim responded.

"Well, Red! To what do I owe the pleasure?", joked Motor Ed into the phone.

"We're not here for you, Ed!", Kim barked into the phone in reply. "Where's Drakken?"

"You're asking me?", said an increduous Motor Ed. "You're the one that pulled a Wicked Witch on him! That was harsh, Red! Seriously!"

"We didn't...! Where is he, Ed?", asked Kim angrily.

"I have no idea!", said an annoyed Motor Ed. "As far as I know, he's gone!"

"You expect me to believe that? That Drakken was a synthodrone and now he's gone, 'poof', just like that?", said Kim, her voice rising.

"Whatever, Red! I guess denial isn't only a river near a lot of sand and triangular thingies", replied Ed.

"So true", offered Ron.

"Shush, Ron", said Kim. "So you know nothing? Even if it means you could plea bargain for a lighter sentence?"

"Hey, I wish I knew something! Seriously", offered Ed. "But he didn't exactly keep me 'in the loop' about his present activities."

"This is pointless! Let's go, Ron!", said Kim determinedly as she got up to leave.

"I mainly hung around Drew back in the day", explained Motor Ed.

"You...", said Kim as she stopped short and turned around. "What do you know about a ferretmobile?"

"Hmmm. I once did a custom job for a Mr. South - or was it West?", pondered Ed.

"I meant Drakken and a ferretmobile!", demanded Kim.

"Oh yeah! I remember that! He sure loved that car!", replied Ed. "Odd thing about that, though. It wasn't a ferretmobile at first."

"How so?", asked Kim.

"Well, Red, you didn't have NASCAR baby booties or Car Wars swimmin' pools back then", said Motor Ed. "Nobody did. You couldn't buy that stuff."

"You mean Star Wars?", corrected Ron.

"Whatever, blond-whoever you are guy", added Ed. "It was a regular riding car - and then it was stolen."

"So Drakken's a victim of crime!", interjected Ron. "That explains a lot!"

"No, no, dude! Little kids aren't crime victims! They forget that stuff. 'Specially if the thing's there one day and gone the next! Some neighborhood kids took it. We got it back, and could have returned it to little Drew as it was, but..."

"Yes?", asked Kim, expectantly.

"You'll help me out? Seriously?", queried Ed.

"Yes, Ed. Now please go on", continued Kim.

"Okay, his parents had it re-done as a ferretmobile. I wanted to totally trick it out but they nixed that idea! It would have been awesome! Ner ner nerrrrr!", yelped Motor Ed as he wildly strummed an air guitar.

"I forget why they did that", added Ed. "Something about life, living..."

"Love", said Kim as she completed the thought. "They did it because they loved him."

"Yeah! That's it! Drew sure was happy that day! And no wonder. Heck, no one's ever done anything that nice for me! If they had, I probably wouldn't be here!", said a pensive Ed.

Pause

"On second thought - Nah!", continued Ed.

"Anything else you can remember?", inquired Kim.

"He was always playing 'Fearles Ferret' after that", replied Ed. "He was the Ferret. I was the White Stripe. I totally rocked with my mini freak flag!"

"Thank you, Ed", said Kim.

"So you'll get my sentence reduced?", implored Motor Ed.

"We'll see what we can do, Ed", Kim tersely answered.

"Aw, Red, don't be harsh! Seriously!", said a wounded Ed.

"I said we'll do what we can", replied a calm Kim. "Seriously."

"You're going to help that guy?", asked Ron as they left the prison. "Based on that?"

"It's not just that, Ron", said Kim. "I found traces of that Drakken synthogoo in his bedroom. That means Drakken was there in the past few years and could have set up that whole 'Ramp of Doom' then. Not when he was a kid."

"What are you saying, Kim?", Ron eagerly inquired.

"I'm saying Drew Lipsky could have been a far different person than we believed him to be."

Next:
The Fearless Ferret himself - Mr. Timothy North!

(It's time for some comic relief!)

Notes

Young Drew and his ferretmobile is based on a true story (and is not from an old movie). Just in case you were wondering.

Eddy Lipsky's middle name isn't given in the series, but as he is the 'black sheep' of the family, he could be named for that old reprobate from "Rewriting History", Bartholomew Lipsky.