A/N: Smutty stuff happens. You've been warned. Sorry, not sorry.
Chapter 6: Point of No Return
"A geth? You brought an active geth aboard? That's insane! Commander what were you thinking?" Miranda exclaimed.
Jane snarled at Miranda.
"I was thinking that Legion has valuable information that can help us in this war, Miranda. He wants to work with us to stop the reapers. Why is that so hard to understand?" Shepard asked.
Miranda threw her hands up in the air and paced her side of the table in the comm room. She stopped and turned towards Shepard, crossing her arms in front of her chest and cocking her hip.
"How can you know he won't turn on us?" Miranda asked.
Shepard leaned forward, her palms pressed to the table before answering, "Do you really need to ask that, Miranda?"
"No. I suppose not," she slowly answered. "Are you completely sure about this, Commander?"
Shepard nodded her head and said, "Yes. Completely."
"Very well. I'll have to notify the Illusive Man about our newest edition. I'm not sure how he'll take the news," Miranda said.
"He left recruitment up to me, tell him I insist," Shepard said.
"I certainly plan to," she said.
Miranda turned and walked out of the comm room leaving a frustrated Shepard behind to rake her hands through her hair.
"You should have killed her. She can't be trusted now. She knows too much, and she's going to tell the Illusive Man," Jane said.
"Jane, you became friends with Miranda! You know her better than that, right? You should trust her," Shepard thought.
"I didn't know then, not really. Didn't know the way she cut us open and dug out insides out," Jane said.
"She knows?" Garrus said from his spot against the wall behind Shepard.
"It's a long story. I'll give you the details when we stop again," Shepard said turning to lean her bottom against the table.
"You gonna yell at me about Legion, too?" Shepard asked.
Garrus shook his head before saying, "You smell angry."
Shepard snorted indelicately and waved her hand around the room indicating something more than the simple room held.
"I just hate this. All of this. Having to be here. Working with Cerberus because the rest of the fucking galaxy doesn't want to pull their heads out of their asses to save themselves," Shepard said running her hand through her hair again.
"Hmmm," Garrus said.
"Yeah, I know. My choices, my actions, my fault," Shepard said and tilted her head back to look at the ceiling.
Garrus moved to lean against the table next to Shepard. She lowered her head to look at him, her anger easing into longing.
"It… wasn't the wrong choice. You're here now, where you need to be to get things done. I'm not saying I like it any, but there is going to be a lot in this war that I don't like," Garrus said.
"Thanks," Shepard said with a wistful smile.
"Hmmm. So what's our next step?" Garrus asked.
"I guess taking Tali and Kal back if that's where they're going. After that, the Citadel again. Anderson says he has something for me. Marked it urgent," Shepard said.
"They slept in your cabin last night?" Garrus asked after a moment of silence.
Shepard knew him well enough to know that he was trying to make the question sound casual but there were undertones of something else there.
"Does it matter?" Shepard asked softly.
Jane snorted in Shepard's mind. Shepard mentally frowned at her in response.
Garrus' mandibles flared before snapping against his jaw.
"Maybe he's hoping you'll move on, and we can get back to just being friends," Jane said.
"Tali passed out on the couch. I didn't want to wake her so Kal moved her to my bed. He slept on the couch; I crashed on the bed with Tali. There was nothing more to it," Shepard said pushing away from the table without another glance in his direction.
She left the comm room and passed through the armory, waving at Jacob as she went. She took the elevator down to the med bay and crossed into the AI core where Liara's office would have been on the old ship. Her chest tightened, she missed Liara so very much. Legion was standing eerily still when the door slid open, he became more animate when she entered, relaxing his stance to mimic her own.
"Shepard-Commander," Legion said.
"How are you Legion? Warmed up enough to have all your programs running again?" Shepard asked.
"Yes, we are at optimum functioning," Legion said.
"Good and what is the new consensus about your current location?" Shepard asked.
"We find the location acceptable and anticipate the exchange of data with Shepard-Commander," Legion said.
"Good. Let's make this a bit easier for everyone, then, shall we?" Shepard said. "EDI?"
"Yes, Shepard?" EDI said her blue hologram springing up in midair.
"EDI have you introduced yourself to Legion?" Shepard asked.
"I was unsure if you would find that appropriate," EDI said. "I did not wish to upset anyone on the ship. I am aware that AI's are distrusted, the geth perhaps more than others."
"Legion is a part of the crew now. Just like you, EDI. I would appreciate it if the two of you would share with one another what you know about the reapers, the geth that are working with the reapers, and the collectors. Is this acceptable?" Shepard said.
"Yes," Legion said.
"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.
Shepard waited while the AIs transferred data between themselves. It took a matter of seconds before Legion returned his focus to Shepard.
"Data transfer complete, Shepard. Would you like for me to send you a report?" EDI asked.
"Yes, please. Thank you, EDI," Shepard said.
"You're welcome, Shepard," EDI said.
EDI's hologram disappeared leaving Shepard figuratively alone with Legion. Shepard fell to parade rest and smiled when Legion automatically did the same. She thought it was a bit like playing a game of follow the leader. She had to resist the childish urge to try to get Legion to perform inappropriate gestures.
"We can find something… other pieces of armor or something to patch those holes on your platform if you want. You can keep the N7 piece if you'd like. I think it looks nice there," Shepard said.
Legion raised two of the plates around his optics, simulating raised eyebrows.
"Repairing the structural integrity of this platform would increase survivability," Legion said.
"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" Shepard said.
"Yes," Legion said.
"Alright, let's go find you something suitable to patch those holes then," Shepard said turning towards the door.
Shepard took Legion up to the armory. Jacob stared speechless when she walked in but kept his wits about him enough not to reach for one of the gun cabinets.
"Jacob, this is Legion. I was hoping you could help me find something to fix these holes in him," Shepard said.
"Oh, uh, yeah sure I'll see what I can find," Jacob said coming around the table to stand a few feet away from Legion.
Jacob reached a hand out hesitantly towards Legion, "It's uh… nice to meet you Legion."
Shepard smiled approvingly at Jacob. Legion examined Jacob's hand before extending his own. Jacob gripped Legion's hand and shook it; Legion mimicked the motion matching Jacob's rhythm and strength of grip.
"I'll uh, I'll need to look it – sorry, him over and see what all is missing," Jacob said returning his gaze to Shepard.
"Not my platform. Ask him," Shepard said.
"Right, sorry. Legion, is it good with you if I look you over? Maybe take some measurements?" Jacob asked.
"Yes," Legion responded.
Shepard stepped aside to give Jacob room to walk around Legion as he took inventory.
"Will you two be alright together without me? I've got to figure out where Tali wants to go," Shepard said.
"Jacob doesn't usually trust Legion so easily, what if he attacks him while you're gone? You should stay and protect Legion. Legion is important," Jane said.
"I have to show them trust if I want them to trust me, Jane," Shepard thought.
"We do not require the presence of Shepard-Commander," Legion said.
Jacob shrugged and nodded.
"Yeah, I think we'll be alright," Jacob said.
Shepard reached out to pat Jacob on his arm before leaving the two of them to make repairs. She found Tali and Kal in the mess hall, talking quietly with their heads close together. Shepard cleared her throat as she approached and the two quarians looked up.
"So, back to Farlas?" Shepard asked.
"Actually, I think we've decided to stay with you for your trip to the Citadel. It would be nice to meet Lia and make sure she's alright," Tali said.
"… And to keep an eye on Legion for as long as you can justify. Sound about right?" Shepard asked.
"She'll never trust Legion so early, this is all wrong, all too soon," Jane said.
Tali looked at her feet and started wringing her hands. It was Kal who finally responded.
"Tali would never forgive herself if she left and something happened with… Legion, ma'am," Kal said.
Shepard reached out and put a hand on Tali's shoulder.
"Just promise me you'll try to give him a chance?" Shepard asked.
"I'll try," Tali said.
"Good. I'm glad you're sticking around. Even if for only a little while. There are some things we should talk about in private once we get to the Citadel," Shepard said. "Now, if you're going to stick around go make yourself useful. I'm sure that there are things in engineering that could use your magic touch."
"Yes, good idea. Distract her, keep her busy," Jane said.
"Really? It's OK?" Tali asked.
"Absolutely. I insist," Shepard said.
Kal chuckled at Tali's enthusiasm as the quarian raced for the elevator. Shepard and Kal followed after her. Tali was all but bouncing with excitement as they took the elevator down to engineering.
"Donnelly, Daniels," Shepard said when they walked in.
The two former alliance members snapped to attention, turning to salute Shepard.
"I want you to put this kid to work. Don't go easy on her, you understand?" Shepard asked with mock sternness.
"Shepard!" Tali said.
Shepard chuckled before waving off Gabby and Ken's salutes. They relaxed and smiled.
"Yes, ma'am. I'm sure there's plenty she can help with," Gabby said.
"Be good to her and she might teach you a thing or two," Shepard said with a wink.
Shepard left engineering and hesitated at the top of the stairs before making her way down to see Jack. She was stretched out on her cot with her hands folded beneath her head. Her eyes were closed but Shepard could tell she was awake by the gentle swaying of her feet on crossed ankles. Shepard knocked against one of the metal support beams.
"You know I can hear you tromping down the stairs right?" Jack said keeping her eyes closed.
"I'm not that loud," Shepard said. "It just echoes down here."
"Why bother to knock? There's no door," Jack said.
"So you can have the chance to tell me to go away," Shepard said.
"Go away," Jack said.
"Alright," Shepard said and made her way to the foot of the stairs.
"Oh for fucksake. What do you want, Shepard?" Jack's voice called after her.
Shepard walked back around the corner and leaned against the support beam. Jack opened her eyes and tilted her head to look at Shepard.
"There are a couple of quarians aboard that'll be staying with us for a little while," Shepard said.
"Yep," Jack said her full lips accentuating the 'p'. "Got the memo."
"And there's a geth aboard now, too. His name's Legion," Shepard said.
"Got that one, too. Anything else, Alliance?" Jack said.
"I want your help stealing the ship and going pirate," Shepard said pulling from Jane's memories. "You can be my first mate."
Jack grinned, "Now there's an idea. You're crazy, but you're the good kind, Shepard. You'd never go pirate. Too busy helping people, saving the fucking galaxy."
Shepard scratched at a scar on her cheek before responding, "Yeah, you're probably right. Still, a girl can have her dreams. Anyway, we're headed to the Citadel. You're welcome to get out and stretch your legs while were there if you want. Maybe get a new tattoo or something pierced."
Jack threw her legs over the side of her cot and stood up. She walked over to stand in front of Shepard.
"What makes you think I'd come back?" Jack asked.
"Well, for starters the fact that you even asked that. But even if you didn't, Jack, it would suck but we'd move on without you. I won't come chasing you down. You're not a prisoner here. You're free to leave if you want," Shepard said.
"No, no, no. We need Jack. Jack has to help us, she's strong and determined. Grissom Academy needs her. Don't you let her go, damn it!" Jane said.
"She's not going anywhere, Jane. She's just testing me, relax," Shepard thought.
"Shit. You really mean that, don't you?" Jack asked.
Shepard shrugged the shoulder that wasn't leaning against the support.
"Of course. Though it would be nice if you gave me a heads up so I wasn't worrying that something happened to you or was left waiting around for no reason," Shepard said.
Jack scoffed and started pacing the small space, "Worrying… people don't worry about me, Shepard."
"I would," Shepard said.
"Bullshit," Jack said.
"You know, Jack. You're far too smart some of the dense shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes," Shepard said.
Jack laughed, "You've got balls, Shepard."
"A krogan friend of mine told me that once or twice," Shepard said. "'Course he called it a 'quad.' Anyway, I'll let you get back to your nap or whatever."
"Yeah," Jack said quietly.
Shepard made the effort to walk quietly up the stairs and she thought she heard Jack chuckle. She took the elevator back up to the CIC and input the coordinates for the Citadel before sending a quick message to Anderson letting him know they were leaving Alchera and headed straight for the Citadel. She went back to the armory to check back in with Jacob and Legion. There was a holographic projection of Legion's platform turning slowly above the center table in Jacob's station. Legion was expertly bending a piece of trash armor into a precise shape and Jacob was nodding his head in approval.
"How's it going in here?" Shepard asked.
"Good. It's going good," Jacob said.
"Thirty-eight percent of planned repairs complete," Legion said.
Legion handed the reshaped armor to Jacob who began fitting it over a hole on Legion's back before welding it into place.
"Nice. We're headed to the Citadel. Tali and Kal are going to stick around for a little bit longer. I'll be in my cabin. If you need me just tell EDI," Shepard said.
Jacob didn't seem even a little uneasy around Legion as he focused on the task at hand. She left them to their repairs and took the elevator up to her cabin. Shepard opened her laptop and started reviewing the report EDI sent to her after her 'talk' with Legion.
It detailed the conversion of the 'heretics' as Legion called them after being contacted by Saren and 'Nazara' as Sovereign called himself. The report indicated that like the geth, Sovereign was an accumulation of AI programs running on one platform. Shepard compared the report to Jane's memories as she went along. So far, the two sources of information matched. Shepard paused when she saw a list of locations marking known 'heretic' activity. Jane had no correlating memories of Legion sharing that particular bit of information. Likely because she had never bothered to ask.
"EDI?" Shepard said turning to face EDI's access node.
"Yes, Shepard?" EDI said.
"Can you please mark these locations of known 'heretic' activity on the map for me?" Shepard asked.
"At once, Shepard," EDI said before disappearing again.
Shepard continued to read and further along found reports of collector ship sightings. The geth weren't actively pursuing the collectors, but were able to recall instances and locations when the geth had encountered collectors or their ships. Shepard grinned before calling out to EDI again.
"Please also mark the locations provided for collector activity, be sure to differentiate the between 'heretic' and collector activity," Shepard said.
"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said. "The map has been marked with the requested locations. Mr. Vakarian has entered this floor as his destination on the elevator. Do you wish for me to allow him in?"
Shepard closed the lid on her laptop and stood up. Jane stirred inside of Shepard.
"Uh… unlock the door but let him open it on his own. Or knock… or – or ask to be let in or something before opening the door," Shepard stumbled over her words.
"Yes, Shepard," EDI said.
Shepard paced in front of her desk, wiping her sweaty palms on her thighs. After thirty seconds or so, Shepard stepped in front of the door.
"Is he out there, EDI?" Shepard asked quietly.
"Yes, Mr. Vakarian is standing in front of the elevator staring at the door," EDI said.
"Garrus…," Jane whispered.
"Come on," Shepard whispered.
Long seconds past and there was no knock.
"Is he still there?" Shepard asked.
"Yes, he has begun pacing back and forth between the door and the elevator. He appears to be distressed. Should I offer him assistance?" EDI asked.
"No, no don't say anything to him unless he talks to you first," Shepard said.
"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.
"Come on, Garrus. Just knock, please just knock," Shepard whispered.
"Do you wish me to relay that message?" EDI asked.
Shepard groaned, "No, EDI. What's he doing? Can you show me?"
EDI's hologram flattened out into a screen and Shepard could see the area outside of her door. Garrus paced back and forth, his mandibles opening and closing sharply against his face. He stopped and sniffed the air around him before resuming his pacing.
"Is he saying anything? Do you have audio?" Shepard asked.
Shepard was suddenly able to hear the soft shuffling of his feet across the floor, the snapping of his mandibles, the low growl he made every few steps. Garrus stopped and sniffed around the hall again before moving up to the door. Shepard's heart started to race, but instead of knocking the turian gently leaned his forehead against the door and made a barely audible keening noise. Shepard's heart broke in two. She slid to the floor and curled up next to the door, watching Garrus image and listening to the heart wrenching sound he was making just on the other side.
"Gods… look what you've done to him! We're… we're supposed to be a source of comradery and comfort for him. Like he's always been to us but instead… you did this. THIS! To him! Of all people, Dawn. He was my best friend! Liara's dead and Garrus is broken – heart broken, listen to that, because of you. I will never forgive you for this," Jane ranted inside of Shepard.
"I know…," Shepard's thoughts were filled with sorrow and regret.
Just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore and was about to tell EDI to open the door, Garrus straightened up and turned back to the elevator. He pushed the call button and when the elevator arrived he stepped inside and disappeared from her sight. EDI collapsed the image back into her standard holographic display.
"Are you alright, Shepard?" EDI asked softly.
"I don't think I'll ever be alright again, EDI. Thanks for asking, though," Shepard said.
"You don't deserve to be alright again," Jane said.
"My databases indicate that humans often listen to music when they are experiencing emotional difficulties. Would you like for me to play something for you?" EDI asked.
"No, that's OK. Thanks, EDI, that's all," Shepard said.
"Logging you out, Shepard," EDI said.
Shepard took a few minutes to pull herself together before returning to her laptop. She struggled to focus on the report with Jane's seething anger filling her body with adrenaline. The sound of Garrus' keening no longer physically present still echoed in her ears and ate away at her soul. So she contented herself to skimming through the rest and asking EDI to add any relevant locations to the map. She promised herself she would return to it later before heading down to the mess hall.
The mess hall was mostly empty; Shepard had worked through the time most gathered to eat their midday meal. Gardner had saved her a plate and kept it warm.
"I offered to bring it up to ya, but EDI insisted you weren't to be disturbed. Damn AI, I swear she has more control over the people on this ship than anyone gives her credit for," Gardner said.
Shepard smiled, "Thanks for the thought, Gardner but I was pretty busy reading reports. How are things going down here for you?"
"Oh I can't complain. Most of the folks on this ship are good people who do their best to clean up after themselves. Many even seem to look forward to mealtime since you got me some better food to work with. Thanks again for that," Gardner said.
"Well, I have to eat here, too," Shepard said with a wink.
Gardner chuckled as Shepard laid her tray on the counter in front of him and took the lid off of her plate. It was a casserole of some sorts, with potatoes or some other tuber and sausage with a creamy sauce. Shepard took a bite and made the expected 'mmm' sounds, earning her a proud smile from the Mess Sergeant.
"So it sounds like you made quite the impression on Ms. Goto," Shepard said.
"Oh, Kasumi? Yeah, she's a nice kid. Such a tiny little thing but damn it if that girl can't put away more food than a man in one of those smut vids after a fourteen hour shoot, if you know what I mean," Gardner said.
Shepard choked back her laughter around a mouthful of casserole, covering her mouth with a fist.
"That so? Can't say I have had the, ah, privilege of seeing just how much food that is so I'll take your word on that one," Shepard said.
"Kasumi mentioned that you might be a little… uncomfortable with our batarian crew member," Shepard said after a few more bites.
"Damn right I am. Batarian raiders took everything from me. Wife, my kids. Tore my whole life apart. Now I know it isn't my call who you bring in, and I reckon if he's going to help crush the collectors I can't really complain but don't mean I got to like it," Gardner said.
"I was on Mindoir during the slaver raids. Lost everything – everyone, too. But I can't blame Grundan Krul for what other people did. Look at human history, Gardner. We know damn well what happens when we start judging an entire race for the actions of a few of its members," Shepard said watching Gardner while she ate.
"Yeah, I suppose your right. I'm an old man set in my ways, Commander, but I'll try to keep that in mind. Don't worry though, I ain't going out of my way to cause trouble for anyone," Gardner said.
"That's all I ask," Shepard said with a sympathetic smile. "And maybe a little less of Kasumi's grandmother's oatmeal."
"Really? I thought it was pretty good," Gardner said.
Shepard shook her head and chuckled. She finished her lunch standing there with Gardner making idle chit chat and talking about what good memories they had of 'home' before their respective homes were attacked. It was nice and she sincerely hoped that Gardner did take her words to heart. Shepard moved to the sink to wash her dishes out but Gardner shooed her away. So, she left him to do his job and went back to her cabin to do hers.
Shepard spent long hours pacing her cabin floor, pouring over reports and filling out others. She had EDI pull up an image of the galaxy map on the screen embedded in the display case above her desk. Every time she read something that triggered a memory of Jane's that seemed pertinent she had EDI mark that location with an asterisk. Two asterisks if it was a location that Jane fought her on when she probed for further details on the memory.
When Shepard grew curious about a location, or she wasn't able to get satisfactory information from through Jane's memories, Shepard would ask EDI about the location. Where a particular planet was located, what species populated that area, if it matched up with any known heretic or collector movements.
Shepard stopped in the middle of the room and looked at the blue hologram that symbolized EDI's current attention. The hologram hovered waiting for Shepard's next question or next request.
"EDI… when I ask you a question and you tell me that you have a block that prevents you from answering that question… does the block deny you access to the information, or simply prevent you from sharing it with me?" Shepard asked.
"It depends on the question. Some information, primarily information pertaining to my own locked functions, I am denied access to. Other questions, such as your questions about Cerberus locations or resources, I may or may not have access to the information, but am prevented from revealing it even if I have access," EDI said.
"OK. Do you have control over how you tell me that you have a block from answering? Like, if it were something you knew but couldn't say could you instead say something like 'I am not allowed to answer that question' and when it was something you didn't have access to you could say 'I have a block that prevents me from answering that question'?" Shepard asked.
"I am unable to adjust that function at this time," EDI said.
"Damn. OK, how about just not answering if it's something you can't access? Can you do that?" Shepard asked.
"The response is an automated feature of my programing, I am unable to adjust that at this time," EDI said.
"Fuck. What can you adjust, EDI?" Shepard asked.
"I can adjust the appearance of my holographic display and voice output to suit your preferences," EDI said.
"So you can't control what you say in those instances but you can control what you look like or how you sound when you say it?" Shepard asked.
"Yes, Shepard," EDI said sounding almost delighted at the idea of the suggested subterfuge.
Shepard grinned from ear to ear as she walked over to EDI's access node. Shepard traced her finger in front of the vertical slit that opened and closed to simulate a mouth when EDI spoke.
"This part here, it turns red when you tell me you have a block. Can you make it be other colors?" Shepard asked.
"Yes, Shepard. Do you have a color preference?" EDI asked.
"And you can choose what color you respond with at will?" Shepard asked.
"That is correct," EDI said.
"Show me a purple, EDI," Shepard said.
The center of EDI's 'mouth' turned purple as she spoke, "Is this shade to your liking, Shepard?"
"That works perfectly. EDI I would prefer that you use purple when informing me of a block that is preventing you from answering my questions when you in fact do know the answers," Shepard said. "When you don't know the answers and are telling me you have a block, I would like for you to continue to use red, can you do that? And only when we're in my cabin unless I specify otherwise?"
"As you wish, Shepard," EDI said.
"Excellent, let's try it out," Shepard said.
"Ready," said EDI.
"EDI, tell me about Cerberus resources. How many people does Cerberus have working for it?" Shepard asked.
"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said with a red mouth.
"OK, EDI. What kind of facility did Talitha's message come from on Gellix?" Shepard asked.
"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said with a purple mouth.
Shepard grinned and clapped her hands together.
"Is the facility on Gellix that Talitha's message came from a Cerberus facility?" Shepard asked.
"I have a block that prevents me from answering that question," EDI said with a purple mouth.
"EDI, please mark the planet Gellix with the letter 'C' followed by a question mark on the map," Shepard said.
"At once, Shepard," EDI said.
"Thank you, EDI," Shepard said.
"You are welcome, Shepard," said EDI.
Jane was still pissed at Shepard but Shepard could feel her grudging acceptance that it was a good idea. Shepard resumed her pacing. She knew that she had to take this with a grain of salt. All it really told her was that EDI knew the answer but was prevented from telling her. It may or may not be a Cerberus facility, but she was willing to bet her best armor that it was. Eventually, the Illusive Man would catch on to this new game of hers and probably have EDI's code changed. She hated to do that to EDI, to do anything that would confine her friend to her digital prison any more than she already was but she needed every edge she could get right now. Jane's mood soured further at the idea of EDI paying the consequences for Shepard's actions.
Shepard decided to take advantage of the opportunity as she could before it was taken away from her. She continued to work with EDI until her stomach was in knots demanding food and her eyelids were starting to feel like they were made of lead. She had made good progress, though. She was able to map out twenty new potential locations of Cerberus activity with EDI's help.
"Alright, that's it for now, EDI. I've got to eat something and get some sleep. You've been an immense help, thank you," Shepard said.
"Logging you out, Shepard," said EDI.
Shepard left her cabin and made her way down to the darkened mess hall. The ship was switched over to night mode and the cryo sleep pods were already mostly filled. She opened the refrigerated stasis chamber and found a tray with a note on top that read 'Shepard'. Shepard smiled and pulled the tray out before setting it on the counter and taking the lid off. She put the plate in the microwave and watched as it spun around on the turntable. When it was heated, she carried the tray over to a table and ate in silence still grinning over her accomplishment in subverting EDI's block, even if only a little bit. Shepard washed her dishes out and wiped off the counter and table before heading back to her cabin.
She pulled off her clothes and tossed them in the laundry chute before heading for the shower. She turned the water on as hot as she could stand it, and then just a little hotter before stepping in. She groaned as the hot water forced tight muscles to relax and tilted her head back to wet her hair. She washed and conditioned her hair before grabbing her body wash. She once used a cherry blossom scented wash but had changed to an olive oil wash after Garrus told her she reeked.
Shepard chuckled as she remembered the conversation they'd had on the old Normandy. It was before they became lovers. Shepard was emotionally distraught, thinking that she was going insane because of the flashes of things to come that she was getting from Jane, before she understood what they were. She had confided in Garrus that day, sitting at a table in the mess hall. He had moved to her side of the table to try to comfort her when she started crying. Once she had started to calm down he had commented that the flowery scent smelled terrible, but that her hair smelled nice. The next day she ditched her body wash and used her shampoo instead until she could replace it with an olive oil body wash. He never commented on it, but she was sure he noticed. She longed for the simplicity in the complications that plagued her personal life in those days. Everything was so much more… fragile now.
Shepard rinsed herself and turned off the water. She grabbed a towel to wrap around herself before stepping over to the sink. Using a hand towel, she wiped steam from the mirror and leaned forward. Shepard had avoided her reflection as much as possible since waking up on that Cerberus slab but now, through the murky glaze she stared at herself closely. Red-orange scars crisscrossed her face and body but she could tell they were already fading compared to when she first woke up. Her wet hair hung in thick tendrils past her shoulders, surprisingly without even a hint of gray. With as much stress as she had in her life, she was surprised her hair hadn't turned completely white. Must be good genetics, she thought.
Shepard brought a hand up to her chest and gently prodded the area around a scar. It didn't hurt at all anymore but she thought she could feel something there, attached to bone and muscle. Her hands explored the rest of her body, feeling out the places where she could find hints of the cybernetic implants; ignoring the quiet, insane babbling the actions brought from Jane. She wondered what anomalies Mordin had found on her scans. His words had brought panic to Jane's voice, but almost anything seemed to do that these days. Shepard pushed the thought from her mind, she figured she would find out soon enough and like everything else she would find a way to deal with the problem. She had to. She was Commander Shepard, and that's what she did.
She used the towel to sop up as much of the water from her hair as she could before running her brush through it as she walked out of the bathroom. She set the brush down on her desk and stared at the image of the map that was still being displayed on her large screen. She reached over and touched a button on her laptop and the screen faded, returning to a simple display case. She closed her laptop and made her way to her bed, crawling beneath the sheets she was asleep in minutes.
"Commander Shepard?" EDI's voice woke her up.
Shepard glanced at the clock on her table, it was just after two in the morning and she'd only been asleep for an hour.
"What is it, EDI?" Shepard asked.
"Mr. Vakarian is on his way to your cabin, should I open the video feed for you?" EDI asked.
Shepard was suddenly wide awake. More awake then she would have felt if EDI had told her the ship was under attack instead. She grabbed her freshly washed robe off the back of the couch and slipped into it as she headed to the door.
"Not again. Please don't make me watch him do this again," Jane said.
"Is he out there already?" Shepard asked running her fingers through her hair.
"The elevator is just arriving now," EDI said.
"Unlock the door, and show me the feed, EDI," Shepard said.
"Gods damn you!" Jane yelled at Shepard.
"At once, Shepard," EDI responded.
Shepard turned to watch EDI's screen as the elevator slid open. Garrus stood motionless, his eyes locked on her door. When the elevator door started to slide closed again he put a hand out to hold the doors open. Shepard could hear the deep breath he took before he stepped off the elevator and let the doors slide closed behind him. Shepard raked a hand through her hair before reaching out towards the door's control system. Her hand hesitated when Garrus took a couple of steps forward. Shepard bit her lip and hit the door's controls.
The door slid open and Garrus looked startled for the briefest of moments. Shepard chewed on her bottom lip from the doorway. Neither of them spoke. Shepard didn't have any idea what to say; afraid that anything she did say would be the wrong thing. Garrus didn't try to form an explanation; he just stood there staring at her with his mandibles fluttering lightly. He tapped a finger against his thigh before dropping his head to look at his feet. Slowly he turned back towards the elevator. Shepard bit into her lip hard enough that she tasted blood; she hissed quietly in response to the deeper pain of the rejection she was feeling. Garrus' head shot up and he sniffed the air around him before turning back to her. The iris of his visor contracted, as his eyes studied the smear of red on her lower lip. Shepard's tongue darted out to wipe the blood away and that was when Garrus' resolve shattered.
Her heart slammed in her chest when his posture shifted from pensive to predatory. Heat rushed through her when he slowly stalked towards her. Suddenly he was in front of her wrapping greedy hands around her waist and pulling her against him. His mouth was pressing into hers and her trembling hands were fighting to pull him closer still. A growl ripped through his throat as he reached his hands around her thighs and picked her up, wrapping her legs around him. Shepard groaned at the feel of his armor pressed against her bare flesh. Jane floundered before retreating to the furthest recess of Shepard's mind.
"Shepard do you require assistance?" EDI asked.
"Gods no. Privacy, EDI. We require privacy," Shepard said barely able to get the words out as Garrus' mouth sought to reclaim hers.
"As you wish. Logging you out, Shepard," EDI said and her hologram disappeared.
Garrus pulled his head away from Shepard long enough to glance around the room and determine where the bed was. He carried her down the steps while her fingers moved with their own memory to the clasps on his armor. Whimpering when she realized she couldn't get it off of him while he was holding her. Garrus let her slide to her feet at the foot of the bed and she pushed the breastplate off of him, mindful to show it the respect he would, she started to move to the table to set it down carefully. Garrus growled and pulled her back, taking the armor from her and tossing it towards the couch. Shepard gasped in shock but it was soon forgotten when his tongue demanded entrance to her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck while he struggled to pull the gloves from his hands and touch her everywhere at once.
With his talons free, Garrus threaded the fingers of one of his hands through her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her throat to him. Razor sharp teeth raked across her flesh while his tongue tasted her skin; his body trembled as he drew in deep breaths, pulling her scent into him like a man half crazed with starvation. His free hand moved over her body, shoving aside her robe to cup her breasts and squeeze at her waist. His other hand dropped from her hair and together they worked at the knot in the belt of her robe before growling and shredding through the delicate fabric with talons instead.
Shepard struggled to reach the clasps that kept his lower half hidden from her touch. Garrus took care of the problem for her, pulling the rest of his armor off and letting it fall to the floor. She pulled at the skin tight fabric of his shirt, wanting so desperately to feel his bare chest pressed against hers. Garrus wouldn't give her the space to pull the shirt off of him so she shoved it up instead and pressed herself against him. A heavy sigh escaped her lips on contact and a hum of deep approval passed through Garrus and into her in waves. Her hands explored his waist and back, fingertips digging into his plating.
"Garrus," Shepard said in a throaty whisper.
He dug his talons into her ass making her gasp.
"Garrus… please," Shepard said, her voice breaking in desperation.
Garrus pushed the robe the rest of the way off of Shepard, letting it puddle around her feet before tearing himself away from her long enough to pull his shirt up over his head, guiding it around his crest before dropping it to the ground and doing the same with his pants. Shepard reached out for him but he shoved her back onto the bed before crawling over her. He stopped, poised above her and stared down into her face.
Shepard couldn't make out the details of his features in the dark, but she could feel the hesitancy in his gaze. She was beyond the point of no return; she couldn't bare it if he changed his mind. Shepard wrapped her thigs around his hips and used her ankles to pull him towards her while lifting herself up to rub against him. Garrus growled and thrust forward until he was deep inside of her; he let Shepard pull him down to her so his chest was pressed against hers. He was not gentle with her. She was not gentle with him.