Okay, I didn't get as much as reviews as I hoped, but since I'm a nice person (and there were many hits), I'll update anyway.

I don't anything about the OC or "Küss mich, Baby".

Second Month

The rest of the day I spent in some kind of trance. Seth came out of the office very late and fell asleep next to me within a few seconds.

I was up half the night and kept thinking:

Maybe I'm not pregnant, though.

Ninety nine percent certainty. Those damn pregnancy test are probably safer than taking the pill, using a condom and a diaphragm at the same time. Crazy. But still. It's only human to make mistakes. And those test were made by human beings.

Wait. I took twelve test. All have a certainty of 99. What the probability of me being pregnant, then? Screw it! Math was never really my subject.

Around four am I finally fell asleep and woke up with only one thought in my mind: Coop! Coop is my salvation! Coop knows about my worst sins. Coop knows my real opinion about sex with Seth (it's better than I admit, I don't want him to get vain), Coop shared all her men of the last years with me - at least verbal, Coop knows everything about me and I know everything about her. Well almost everything. The whole thing with my wish for a baby and the set down of the pill, I didn't even tell her. No idea why.

But Coop will know what to do! Coop will understand and hug me and I will know that everything will be okay.

Besides, Coop is a designer. She will make me the most beautiful maternity clothes.

Crab! Crab! Crab! Coop is in Canada for business. I didn't even know they had fashion in Canada. And the hotel she's staying at apparently doesn't believe in telephones.

Well, I'm an adult woman.

I'm just gonna cook something delicious for Seth tonight (well I can't cook, but the Italian down the street can), light up some candles, put on romantic music and if Cohen wants to do it on the dinner table afterwards and he won't be able undo my bra again, I'm just gonna tell him: "Honey, I'm pregnant, in spite of being on the pill." And he's going to answer: "I've been gay for the last few years and we are going to share parenting. Sid, my new lover will love that idea!"

Argh! Something will come to my mind. It can't be that hard. First of all I'm going to skip work today and tell them I'm sick.

I'm standing in front of the mirror for hours looking for changes. Some treasonable signs: A round belly, a weird smile or stretching marks.

But I look as always.

Seth's coming home. I'm sitting on the sofa and try to read a magazine. I didn't get very far with my "How to tell my husband"-strategy. I was shopping today. Enjoy my favorite activity for one of the last times. In a few weeks I will have to wear a tent.

Cohen's voice's coming out of the hall.

"Summer? You saw the keys to my car? I think I lost it."

"In my purse! I borrowed your car yesterday, remember?"

Suddenly Seth stands in door looking highly skeptical at me.

Oh my god! He knows everything! He has got radio graph sight. He's looking right into my uterus.

"For what do you need that whole condoms in your purse?"

"Condoms? What condoms?", I'm playing innocent, so I can think of a excuse in the meantime.

"Condoms. Prophylactic. Rubbers. There are at least five packs. Oh... super size... interesting."

He comes towards me, the condoms in his hands.

"Can you explain that to me, Sum?"

Good question. I'm on the pill like forever - well that's what he thinks.

"I... er..."

"I'm waiting."

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

What am I supposed to do? Tell him the truth?

"Well Cohen, I set down the pill without you knowledge'. That's why I had to buy a pregnancy test in the drugstore. But I didn't had the nerve to go through it the first time. That's why those things are in my purse."

Probably not the best way to tell him, he's a father-to-be...

I put on my sweetest smile and then I say--, okay smile again.

I'm a good liar. God, I do it for a living, but right know I can't think of anything.

"Oh... that's for Caroline... you know her... from the editorial office? ... she hadn't had a man since like forever... so we other girls thought we just buy these for her..."

"Interesting. You buy condoms because she isn't having sex."

"Yeah we just thought that if she had them, maybe she'd use them sometime... It's nice of you to bring it here, cos I need to wrap it up."

He's not completely satisfied but he seems to buy it.

"Okay, well I'm in my office, if you need anything."

While I wrap up the gift nicely, I remember about Caroline being a lesbian.

Let's just hope she's quitting her job soon and Seth will never come to my office again.

Maybe I should start to think about an explanation, why lesbians need condoms. Often changing vibrators?

Two days later still nobody knows I'm pregnant and I can't tell anybody. Stupid situation. It's like winning the lottery and not be able to spend the money.

I also try to keep down my drinking, which doesn't work out so well because

I'm fucking nervous - worse than the day before my wedding

I get stupid comments at work, like "Oh wait up tomorrow she isn't going to eat anything that isn't from a health food shop" (They don't know how right they are!)

So I sipping with a bad conscience. Most of the time I don't even finish one glass.

Coop still isn't back, but aside from that I think Seth should be the first to know anyway.

Tonight is gonna be the night.

I cooked pasta (the only thing I am able to), opened a bottle of wine (it's really time for me to think about my baby) and put on Seth's favorite "Death Cab"-CD. I love him, but let's face it, nobody is perfect.

There he is. Sitting across the table. In front of him twelve lovely wrapped up gifts. He's looking at them distrustful.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"It's not my birthday."

"I know."

"Oh no...", he's facing me horrified. "it's my comic collection isn't it? How bad is it? Can it be fixed? Please tell me it can be fixed!"

"Your comics are fine!"

"Okay. Good. The comics are fine."

He looks dark at me. I did something and he will force me to confess.

"Oh noo, it's the Play station, right?"

"The Play station is also fine. It's in the basement where it belongs. Now open up already!"

I'm smiling at him and finally he begins to unpack. He opens the first, the second, the third... then all twelve sticks are lying on his plate.

He looks helpless.

"What's that all about?"

Fuck. Didn't work out.

"Summer, what is that?"

"Those ... well those are for humidity. Because of your headache, I thought we could test it."

Worst lie ever, Sum.

"And that you wrap up as a gift."

I'm completely quiet.

"You wrap them single?"

After a few seconds of silence I just spit it out: "I'm pregnant."

Right at that moment I start to cry like a baby.

Seth is just sitting there like a stone. Then he takes his heels and leaves a big hole in the door.

I swear, that's what I thought for a second.

In fact he just comes over to hug me and dance around in the living room with me.

"Pregnant! Pregnant! Pregnant! Is that really true? I'm gonna be a daddy! I didn't even know I could to that! My God, you will become a Mommy! We will be parents! You're pregnant... great... a baby... a tiny baby... incredible... a baby..."

Then he stops and looks deep into my eyes.

"How could that happen?"

"Well, I thought you know... with all the blooms and bees..."

"I thought you're on the pill?"

There it is. The question I was afraid of.

"Well... I had to throw up last month... and you know it isn't effective then. I guess that was when it must have happened."

"It's okay. It's just kind of unfavorable now. I'm building out the company and there isn't gonna be so much money for the next few years..."

He stops and looks into my teary eyes. His hand is resting on my stomach.

"It doesn't matter! I think this is fantastic, really. The best gift I got, like ever..."

When he kisses me, I don't know if it's the pregnancy or Cohen that makes me dizzy.

I'm so proud of myself. Not only am I a mother-to-be, no, Cohen is also a father-to-be. I told him everything (well almost everything, but who cares? He was happy)

With racked out chest (somehow my breast really seem bigger) and belly (I had a large breakfast) I'm standing in the middle of a bookstore together with Cohen.

Department: Pregnancy and Birth.

Seth's already sunken in a book called "Uterus - Fascination of a Muscle"

I need something to get me through the next months. How about "Nine hard months taken easy" or "Pregnancy - disease or natural condition" or "How to have a baby and keep your shape". There is just too much choice.

A big picture book gets my attention.

"Birth - A miracle in pictures"

There are a lot of pictures. Really realistic pictures. Oh my god! Eww! I feel sick now. That looks terrible.

I want a baby - not being slaughtered. And they want me to do that? No way! I shut the book and put it back as I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Hi! Oh my god! What are you guys doing here?" Taylor Townsend. She went to high school with us and was into Cohen. Fortunately he wasn't into her. At least, that's what he tells me.

Cohen looks up from his uterus and smirks at Taylor.

If Taylor knows I'm pregnant the whole town will soon. I could put it on the front page too. But me and Cohen don't want anybody to know yet. Besides my father, his parents and maybe Marissa and Ryan.

I also just read in one book that out of 100 pregnancies 80 don't even make it to the fourth month.

So I'm looking straight at Taylor and tell her with a fake sweet voice: "That's for a colleague of mine. She's about to have her first baby and we were looking for a gift."

Taylor really seems to believe me and then I see it. There is clearly a belly under that Gucci sweater.

"Yes you're right." Apparently she caught me. "Six month along. Michael and I are very happy. It only took us trying once... most couples need more than a year before somethings happening."

She throws a concerned look in our direction.

"But if you are looking for something good about pregnancy I can really recommend you this..."

She pulls a book out of the shelve and talks without even breathing for a half an hour. After I send Seth to the cash box to pay she pulled me aside looking at me concerned.

"No offense Summer but you really should start thinking about having a baby. Neither of you is becoming younger. You can't wait forever... ticktock ticktock... fertility gets less..."

If glances could kill, Taylors baby would be orphan by now.

Again. I'm late for work. I'm tired 24/7. So fucking tired. I didn't tell anyone at the office yet. And I need to start finding another excuse. It's just unrealistic that I'm going to some birthday party every night.

Since I still don't have a book about pregnancy I'm in the Internet the whole day. Looking for some info. don't need Google. I just take a word that's familiar to pregnancy and set a .com or .net behind it. Works like a charm.

But if this comes out I have to blackmail Bull. Our chief editor. Bulls Name is actually Henry McKane. But everybody calls him Bull. Because he looks like one and acts like one most of the time.

I got a list with porno sides he visits regularly, it circulates here in the office. But I doubt that this list will be enough to keeping him from fire me.

(Actually that list wasn't created to blackmail him but for everybody's fun. I gotta say I'm shocked what people find attractive. I only brings out disgust in me - and worry about those womens discs.)

Bull tries to get under every skirt and everybody knows it. And as much he likes to do the thing that leads to pregnancy in theory, I don't think he likes the result itself.

He shares that with a lot men.

So I'm going to keep my condition as long as possible a secret at work.

It's time. I'm finally sitting at my gynecologists. Haven't been here for years. I browse nervously in a magazine. I hate going to the doctor. You go in healthy and come out ill.

According to the info from the Internet I'm six weeks pregnant. They have that pregnancy-calender. You just enter the date of you last period and you find out when your gonna have the baby.

Around me there are belly's of every level. One in flowered caftan fascinates me the most. Not because I'm into flower power. No. But that women looks like she's going to explode any minute now.

In the end I lean over to her and ask: "Excuse me. I'm kinda new in that business. Those are triplets right?"

She shakes her head and tells me proud: "No seven months along. It's a girl."

My mouth drops. But before I can panic about how I'll look like in five months my name is called and I have to go face my doctor.

Humiliating. There isn't anything more embarrassing in this world as sitting on a gynecologist chair. But today I don't care! I wanna see my baby for the first time. And as a mother-to-be you just have to overlook that little embarrassment.

All you can see is a dark stain. Unbelievable!

On those pictures from abortion opposer the babies look complete. Just really tiny. And you think: Those abortion-moms are real baby-killer!

And now that: A dark stain. Everything is okay. That stain is my baby and it nestle up very nice. I bring my legs together and get of the chair. Dr. Rosenberg hands me an ultrasound picture before I go.

The first portrait of my baby.

The ultrasound picture gets framed and a place above the couch in our living room. Seth wanted it of the wall at first. He hates abstract art. But know he knows it's our baby I catch him from time to time smiling at it dreamy.

An hour later we lie cuddle up under it and watch TV.

"We could go to the movies..."

"Or for dinner..."

"We didn't see Ryan and Theresa for quite a while..."

"But it's so comfortable here..."

I move closer to him.

"We could also..."

His hands are working their way up my back, teasing me. I really enjoy these moments, it's nice to have still the same nice moments like we had in the beginning.

"Did those grow?" His hands are cupping my breasts.

Our clothes are spread over the floor and Jay Leno watches us from the TV. I'm okay with that. He probably doesn't see a lot of that.

"I think so."

I'm looking at Cohen's hands which are usually my favorite bra but now they really seem to have problems to get everything in.

"Mm mm... that's wonderful ... I love the baby already. Why can't you always be pregnant?"

He dives into lower areas and I return. Baby! There is a baby in my belly! What am I doing?

Rolling on the floor like a horny teenager. What kind of mother am I?

"I can't?"

"You can't what?", Seth mumbles a little bit, he nibbles at my left hipbone - well, not exactly there, but the other phrase isn't really proper.

"I'm a mother!"

"What?"

Seth gets up.

"Summer, please. What are you talking about?"

I'm glancing at the picture at the wall. The baby looks strict down at us.

"Okay. You're pregnant."

"That's the same!"

"Not really... and even if...", his hands are reaching my bud.

"Mothers don't have sex!"

"?", he looks at me, unbelieving.

I nod heavily.

"Summer don't you think you carry this to far?"

"Not at all?"

"Sum, come on! We haven't like forever!"

True. The last time was two weeks ago. Since I knew I was pregnant I didn't wanted anymore.

Seth tries to get us to level three - he knows how to get me there very well. But not today!

I get up.

"Cohen, I really feel sorry for you but you probably can't understand the tender feelings of a mother. A mother isn't hot. A mother isn't rolling around on the floor. A mother is... it's a whole different condition... transcendental somehow... mystic... there is this miracle happening inside of me... we can't just... I can't do that. You and me here on the floor, while that little thing is growing inside me. What will it think? That profane exchange of liquids."

Seth gets up for his pleading. Clearly the son of a lawyer.

"Summer. May I remind you that this profane exchange of liquids leads you to that wonderful condition? I'm sorry but you totally lost it! Have fun with your whole being a mother. Good night!"

With these words he gets a pillow and a blanket and disappears in his office. I know what that means. He's pissed.

I'm sighting. I'm going to be a single-mom.

Sex. Sex. Sex. It's three o'clock in the morning and I just did it with Cohen in every possible way.

There isn't anything like sex after a fight. Cohen snores next to me. An orgasm is more effective than any other soporific. I'm not just Summer, the Mom, I'm also Summer, the sweet little slut (Cohen calls me that sometimes). Oh. And I'm convinced now that mothers have sex. Very good sex.

Today after breakfast I felt a little bit sick for the very first time. Morning-sickness. The first sign of my baby. How lovely! Besides: Coop is back.

When I arrive at our favorite diner in the afternoon she's already there. Perfect. Beautiful. As always.

"Hey Sum!"

"Hey Coop! Nice to have you back. How was Canada?"

I let myself plop in the chair next to her and take off my sunglasses.

She smirks at me.

"A lot of work ... a lot of fun."

"How much fun?"

She holds up three fingers.

I smile at her with admire. Three guys - unbelievable. Coops consume of men extent a lot during the last year.

She's about to become the Samantha Jones of the West coast. No night alone. I'm not sure if I'm jealous or not.

"It wasn't bad. But Canadians aren't so special. I just wanted to try it. Anyway the business was good. What's new with you?"

I look at the menu, which I actually don't need. I always drink a latte.

"Oh... nothing special... Seth's working to much... oh Bull had another blackout yesterday... let me tell you--"

"Okay... tell me what's going on", Coop cuts me off. "I already ordered you your latte."

She's leaning back at smiling at me. Sometimes I think I should become gay and just marry her. Or stay straight and marry her anyway.

"I... I... really..."

Coop's looking into my eyes.

"You cheated on Seth?"

"Not really."

"You got shoes for more than 700 bucks."

I'm shaking my head.

"You finally told your step-mom what you really think about her?"

I'm shaking my head.

"I'm pregnant."

Coop's dropping her cup. After we cleaned everything up, she's looking directly at me.

"I don't believe it! How did that happen?"

"That's what Cohen said."

"Well... how did it happen?"

"Set down the pill."

"Are you crazy?"

"Maybe."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Won't you congratulate me?"

"I would have talked you out of it!"

"I wouldn't have let you... We always wanted children. That's something great, isn't it?"

"Yeah... I'm happy for you."

I'm looking at her with doubts.

"Really. I'm happy for you... or you two... it's just so new..."

"Tell me about it!"

A few awkward silent seconds followed.

It has never been that way between us. Maybe Coop is pissed because I didn't tell her. Maybe I would be too if she suddenly stood in front of me telling me she's pregnant.

And then a mean thought enters my mind: Maybe she's jealous. We often talked about having babies - in theory. And now I just did it - without telling her. Is that some kind of betrayal in our friendship? Maybe I leave a part of Coop behind me? Maybe I just stop having stupid thoughts all the time.

"Ah... what the hell! You've always been the crazy one!" Coop smiles and pulls me in a hug and we order a huge friendship-sundae. I eat the big part of it and we laugh, talk and tell each other stupid pregnancy-jokes. After that I feel sick. Really sick. Able to threw up any time, actually. Well, I really did eat a lot of ice-cream.

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