A/N: Errr, nothing notable. I changed the summary. Yeah, I'm sure this is very fascinating to ya'll. Just read the damn thing...and review. Thanks.

Disclaimer: Naruto is property of Kishimoto Masashi. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Iwagakure's Tsuchikage is in Suna for a diplomatic visit. A faux-pas from Naruto and this could mean war. Meanwhile, Kankurou makes sure Naruto keeps up his end of their drinking bet, and Sakura isn't happy about it. Gaara manifests an interest in Hinata, and Naruto isn't happy about it. Kiba is just there to make things worst. And don't forget the cockroach!

You Bet Your Kazekage!
---Chapter 2. Day Two (Part One of Two)---

"There's a cockroach in my office!" Naruto bellowed as he stood in front of a bug the size of a miniature dog strategically placed on his desk like a bad omen for his second day in office. Its large beady eyes fixated on him, Naruto maintained its gaze determined not to let some insect best him in a staring contest. Never let a cockroach stare you down, it'll own you forever.

Perfectly still, unmoving, empty-eyed, the bug made no motion to leave when Naruto—still struggling not to blink—began poking the uninvited guest with a used pencil. If cockroaches could yawn, it's exactly what this one would have been doing while the pointy end cracked against its hard black shell. Points for the cockroach.

"That's it, you die," he fiercely cried out, a poignant battle cry, as he threw himself with arms extended—a strangulating gesture—on top of his desk. Overshooting his mark, Naruto fell flat across the wooden desk and, as luck would have it, it caved in under his weight in a loud crash. Papers flying, a mishmash of office supplies over the floor, the frustrated Kage could hear the sound of miniscule paws scurrying away from the mess. Winner of round two: the cockroach.

Dusting himself off in three sharp strokes, Naruto wildly looked around the room before resting his murderous glare on the arrogant insect. Naruto's new friend had crawled up on adjacent bookshelves, the same impassive eyes fixated on the Kage. The annoyingly calm bug clashed with the frantic zealot when Naruto gave in to his violent impulses and darted violently towards the shelves. Through the cling-clang of the books, vases, and mirrors collapsing on the floor, the young Shinobi did not hear the crunching sound of a squished bug, but the more disturbing tic-tic of little paws rushing away from the scene. A definite smack down for the cockroach.

"Naruto-kun! What's wrong?" Hinata rushed in the office, alarmed by the ruckus.

Jumping back to his feet, he brusquely turned to Hinata. "There's a damn cockroach in my office. Where is it? I'm gonna kill it..."

Looking around, her eyes brushing over the decadent mess caused by another Naruto rage fit and resting on the windowsill, Hinata noticed the Kazekage's object of torment. "Ohhh! That's not an ordinary cockroach, Naruto-kun. That's the Tsuchikage's Kuchiyose no Jutsu. She keeps it with her all the time. Best to leave it alone."

"Tsuchikage? Summoning technique?" Naruto was easily confused. "What can a cockroach do for a ninja? Wait, I don't want to know." This insect was nothing more than a crawly omen to another disastrous day. At least Kiba hadn't showed up yet.

Hinata couldn't help but giggle; it was so like Naruto to be completely unprepared. "You have a meeting with the Godaime Tsuchikage this evening, Gaara-sama told me last night."

"He mentioned that to you and not me?" Naruto's wavering tone was edged with a growing anger. Who knew that in one measly evening, in a poorly-lit restaurant, that sloppy eater and Hinata had gotten so close. For Naruto, that was inconceivable. Gaara and Hinata had nothing in common, right? Hinata was not supposed to make friends with him, only distract him, and Gaara, he thought, was nothing more than a prat.

Hinata nodded slightly. The assessing look on Naruto's face was shaming her at best, intimidating her at worst. Everyone could jump the guns, it just seemed like Naruto was always the one to jump them first. "Maybe I can help you get ready," she said, hoping for a change of subject.

"Say, Hinata," Naruto quizzed her in a tone that could lead to anything but business. "What else did you and Gaara talk about last night?" The question had an unexpected depth as it passed his lips, something he would of instantly took back. Before he realized it, Naruto was no longer sounding like the overprotective brother but the jealous lover. Not the effect he was looking for.

She couldn't see herself, but Hinata knew by the searing heat covering her cheeks that she was madly blushing. "Naruto-kun...you're g-getting weird."

"Implying that he was normal before?" Kankurou interjected while leaning cockily in the doorframe like he owned the place. Entering a place when uninvited—and unwelcome—seemed to be Kankurou's modus operandi. Same with giving his two cents. "By the way, I love what you did with the office."

Naruto's frown deepened. "Watch me do the same to your face."

"Hangover getting you irritable, Kazekage-sama?" Kankurou replied, arms folded over his stomach, while cracking up in a little tittering that could annoy Buddha himself. Nothing annoys quite like Kankurou. And maybe Kiba. But the Sand Nin had no intention of cutting Naruto some slack. "Well, I'm here to collect on our bet. Which, as everyone agreed, I won."

"What was the object of this wager, Naruto-kun?" Hinata innocently demanded, shifting everyone's attention to her.

Kankurou looked at Hinata as if something important had just occurred to him. "That reminds me, Hinata," Kankurou said at length. "Gaara is looking for you."

She blanched at the mention of Gaara's name. "D-do you have any idea what for?" She almost stammered. There was only two possible reasons Gaara could be looking for her. One, he found out about Naruto's booze-up and knows she lied about it. Two...two was too strange and probably out of the question.

"I haven't the foggiest but, if he got out of bed to look around for you, it must be." He paused then added, "Bastard never gets out of bed."

She acquiesced with a slight nod of the head, and as she waved Naruto goodbye, left for Gaara's quarters. Hinata was always polite and gracious. Even if Gaara instilled the fear of God in her, it was not in her nature to avoid him. That would have been rude.

"Back to the matter at hand, you were about to acknowledge my superiority by-- " Kankurou stopped dry, his smile widening as the exasperated Naruto patiently awaited the end of his sentence. Suspense, never leave home without it. "By setting me up on a date with Sakura tonight."

"Say WHAT?" Naruto exclaimed. It was Kiba, in the guise of Naruto, who had agreed to the terms. Caught between Hinata's date with Gaara and the drinking competition, Naruto had completely forgot to ask Kiba what were these new terms. His bad. "Never, not Sakura-chan. Try Ino, I hear she's free."

"Don't get all moody about it," Kankurou continued with the same smug look on his face. He was getting cockier by the minute. "A bet is a bet, Naruto-kun."

"I'm Kazekage, try and make me," he said, speaking like a disgruntled child.

"It's not like you're actually dating her, is it?"

"Mind your own business, fatso."

"You might be Kazekage for the next few days, but the 'date' job doesn't have your name on it," he grunted.

Pulling a sheet of paper out of the messy pile where an orderly desk once stood, Naruto cleared his throat, and spoke in a disturbingly calm voice, "Coincidentally, I have something with your name on it, Kankurou. Oh! Would you look at that, it's a death warrant!" He gritted out, emphasizing these last two words.

"I guess I'll be telling Gaara about your booz--"

"...Pick her up at eight..."

---------------------------

"Gaara-sama, you wanted to see me?"

"Hinata. Yes, I--" Gaara was at loss for words. Fumbling Gaara? Who would of thought. Admitting to Hinata that he enjoyed her company and wished to see more of her—not in that way, you perverts—was harder than he thought. "Well, I, errrr, wanted to know how Naruto was doing?"

"He's fine, you can rest easy," she accidentally blurted out. Cracking a joke about Gaara's bizarre sleeping pattern was the last thing Hinata wanted to do. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth apologetically.

He smiled. In Gaara's eyes, there was something endearing about her shyness, something sweet. Hinata was nothing like his raging fan club of girls willing to do anything—and I mean anything—to get a second look and she was nothing like the regular bigots of Suna that only looked up to him in fear. She was different but, good different.

"If that was all, I'll go back to check up on--"

"No," he interrupted her with a sharpness he later regretted. "Actually, there was something else."

"What is it, Gaara-sama?"

"Actually, I wanted us to--"

"HINATA! HINATA!" Naruto was rushing down the hall, shouting loudly enough to land him a starring role in A Streetcar Named Desire. "We have an emergency."

Slowly turning towards Suna's makeshift Kazekage, Gaara flashed him his best death-glare. "An emergency, Naruto," he quizzed him, an underlying threat in his words. A dangerous, psychopathic tone. One that made you want to runaway. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Naruto didn't quite expect to come face-to-face with Gaara, and 'emergency', along with 'booze-up', was a word Gaara needn't hear. "You never let me finish," he answered self-righteously. "We have an emergency meeting with--" Well, Naruto's inventive genius had its limits.

"With Shino, our cockroach expert," Hinata finished for him. It was the best lie Hinata could come up with. And it was no doubt better than whatever Naruto could dish out.

"Nothing better happen to the Tsuchikage's summon, Naruto," Gaara insisted in a scolding tone. This was a challenge of Naruto's leadership qualities with high consequences. "If something happens to it, she'll surely declare war. And if she declares war, I'll surely kill you, you got that?"

"Yes, sir," he answered with obvious sarcasm.

"Now go take care of that cockroach and get lost," Gaara added before turning his attention back on Hinata. Softening up his tone, he coolly spoke, "Where was I? Hinata, I was thinking that tonight we might go..." He paused, suddenly feeling Naruto leaning over his shoulder. "Didn't I tell you to get lost?"

There was something about Gaara's pathetic attempts at wooing Hinata that bothered him. "I'm waiting for Hinata," Naruto blatantly replied, a resolute expression on his face, determined to make himself as much a nuisance as humanly possible. Not that it was something he had to work at.

Gaara had many things going for him; looks, power, the genuine broodiness that women find attractive. Patience was not one of those things. "Why don't you go wait in a dumpster...which is where they'll find various parts of you if you don't get lost."

"I think I'll just wait here," Naruto said, taking a few steps back but not enough to be out of hearing range. Gaara coming on to Hinata, much like one of those things you can't buy with your MasterCard, was bound to be priceless.

"Hinata," he reiterated for the fifth time that day, including the one time he practiced in the mirror that morning. "I would like it if we had another--"

"Are you done over there?" Naruto hollered, interrupting Gaara yet again.

This is why he was called Gaara of the Sand and not Gaara of the Pick-up Lines.

-----------------------------

"What the hell happened here?" Kiba questioned openly to the empty office upon noticing the terrible state it was in.

Following him was Shino, expressionlessly glancing about the dimly lit room with a pair of sunglasses on. Resting his eyes on the black mound laying immobile on the windowsill, he instantly knew what it was. "Look, a cockroach," he remarked, calling the insect to him.

To Kiba's astonishment, it obeyed. "That is just disgusting, my friend." As if it hadn't occurred to him before, he pursued, "But what the hell is that idiot of a wannabe Kazekage doing with a cockroach. I knew he had a hard time making friends but who knew he'd sink so low..."

"It's a demon cockroach," Shino pointed out. "It belongs to the Tsuchikage."

"Tsuchikage?"

"Remember the 'built' woman you insulted on our way here?"

Kiba seemed shocked. "I insulted someone?"

"Yes," Shino commented in the most serious of tones. "The one you called 'unspeakably fat' before referring to yourself as Uzumaki Naruto."

"Oh! It's all coming back to me, now." Inuzuka Kiba, PR man.

"She's the Tsuchikage."

"This is turning out better than I thought," Kiba said through a short bout of laughter.

Interrupting the conversing duo were Naruto and Hinata, finally back at the office. "I can't believe you said yes," the blond Shinobi stated, a bit grumpy about the whole Gaara thing. Hinata and Gaara on yet another date, suddenly the expression 'how troublesome' started to make sense.

Slightly frowning as she stepped in the doorframe, Hinata replied, "It wouldn't be so hard if you'd stop making him so angry all the time."

"Hey, you two," Kiba said in a cheery tone as they entered. "Nice office, I love what you did with the place. Your flair for decorating really strikes me, Naruto-kun."

"The only thing that's going to strike you is my fist if you don't shut up."

"Hold your horses there, Naruto," Kiba rushed to appease the situation. "I just want to help you."

Desperate, Naruto acquiesced with a slight nod of the head. "You want to help? Then keep this cockroach safe till we get back, Hinata and I have some work to do."

-----------------------------

Sakura was pleasantly sitting under a tree near the medicine storehouse when it happened. Reading a book she had picked up from Suna's impressive library, she barely had the time to notice Naruto approaching her at precarious speed while languidly flipping through the pages of the History of Suna Medics. Ever the intellectual, that Sakura.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto called out from the other side of the sandy field. "Sakura-chan!"

"Naruto," she sounded surprised as she snapped the pages of her book shut. "And Hinata, you're here, too. What's up?"

Hinata had a hard time ingesting the fact that Naruto qualified Kankurou wanting to take Sakura on a date an 'emergency' while he had completely thrown her in the arms of Gaara for a silly party. When it became obvious why, she was instantly crestfallen. It was something akin to sadness, close to disappointment, the feeling that she would always be second to Haruno Sakura.

"Earth to Hinata," Sakura insisted as she waved her hand back and forth in front of the absent-minded girl. "Do you copy?" The pink-headed girl was intrigued to say the least.

"Sorry," she hesitantly said. "What?"

"Naruto says you have something to tell me..."

It was just like Naruto to share the burden. Knowing that Sakura would never let him live it down if he confessed she was the object of his drinking bet, he thought it would be a better plan if Hinata broke the news—well, not the whole news. Some parts were conveniently left out. "Yes, well, Kankurou and Gaara-sama offered to show us around Suna tonight, want to come?"

"You mean like on a double date?"

"W-who said date?" Hinata stammered. Easily stressed out, that girl. "Did I say d-date? I didn't say date. Did you say date, Naruto-kun?"

"You bet your ass I didn't say date," he scoffed, a lingering tinge of anger in his voice. Damn that Kankurou and his high tolerance to alcohol.

"Alright then, if it isn't a date," Sakura answered with a disarming smile, making her almost seem eager. "What time?"

"Kankurou'll pick you up at eight," Naruto said matter-of-factly. Taking his leave, he waved as the two girls stayed to chat, "See you later, ladies." If Kankurou kept his big mouth shut during their date, chances are Sakura would be none the wiser. Meanwhile, there was still the matter of that damn cockroach. Who knows the damage Kiba could cause in 20 minutes. Best not to ask.

----------------------------

Walking back to his office, Naruto noticed Kiba and Shino outside, standing over a small raging fire. Rushing to the scene, he ignored Kiba's doped expression and focused on what was burning. It was small, black, and...insect-like. Oh, damn! "You burnt the cockroach!" Naruto frantically exclaimed.

Doing a sort of shuffle with his feet, he defended himself, "It was the most humane thing I could do after it got stabbed by that Kunai."

Clearly distinguishing the kanji of 'Inuzuka Kiba' on the aforementioned Kunai, Naruto continued, "Your Kunai, Kiba."

"Well, I had to put it out of its misery. You know, after it got mauled by that dog."

"Your dog, Kiba."

"Naruto, you've got more important things to do than pester me about that cockroach," he exclaimed while trying to subtly nudge Shino into lending a hand. "Think of what that Godaime Tsuchikage will do once she finds out you killed her precious cockroach."

"You killed the cockroach, Kiba!"

"Whatever. What matters is that I have the perfect plan to get you out of trouble." Kiba's diatribe was getting all the more heated. He was really working out his banter. Points for him. "You are going to seduce the Tsuchikage and she'll forget all about your cockroach debacle."

"Your coackroach debacle, Kiba," Naruto replied half-convinced. "But that idea isn't so crazy. How is she?"

"Well, she's 'built' and 'stacked'," Kiba affirmed, a smiling curling his lips. "Perfect for you. I'll make sure to relay the message that Uzumaki Naruto is inviting her for a romantic evening."

"Alright, it's my only chance." Little did Naruto know, according to the Godaime Tsuchikage, someone named Uzumaki Naruto had called her 'unspeakably fat' in the middle of the streets that afternoon. This would definitely be a night to remember...

-----------------------------

A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed chapter one, the both of you! Got time to spare? Beta my fic! I absolutely hate rereading myself, which causes me to make tones of mistakes, so if you wanna, send me an Email, I'd be totally honored if someone would volunteer. Seriously.

References:

1. The whole you burnt the cockroach speech – The Black Adder