Chapter 31: It's Not a Party
"So we're having a party at the councilor's place? Fuck yeah!" Jack grinned, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the table in the comm room.
Images of Jack dancing on the dining room table of Anderson's apartment flitted across her mind. Shepard blinked her eyes and shook her head.
"No, Jack, we're having dinner at the councilor's apartment." Shepard raised her eyebrows, warning the biotic to be on her best behavior. "Though, technically, I have a feeling that you're more so there to create a mild distraction so the councilor can speak with me in private."
Jack's simple grin took on a mischievous tilt. "I can do distraction."
"Jack." Shepard shook her head while Garrus chuckled.
"I'll bring the ryncol." Grunt bounced on his feet a little, soaking in Jack's enthusiasm.
"Grunt, no. We're not bringing ryncol. This is not a party." Shepard splayed her palms out on the table and leaned forward, eyeing the adolescent krogan.
Images of Grunt, drunk and unconscious, sitting in the shower stall washed over her. The shower on full blast, the krogan mumbled in his sleep.
"I don't need the party play though, Jane," Shepard thought.
"Hell yeah, bring lots of that shit." Jack slapped Grunt on the shoulder, giving him a little shake.
"I mean, I can at least bring cerveza, right?" James asked. "Anderson would be cool with that. Right?"
Shepard let out a faint whimper and pinched the bridge of her nose. She looked up in time to see Jack exchanging a high five with James. "Alright, alright. You can bring beer. Just beer. A reasonable amount of beer. That's it."
"Come on, Shepard. We might as well drink juice," Grunt said.
"This isn't a party! This isn't even a real dinner invite for gods' sake! We don't know what Anderson wants to talk about; he could be calling us in to send right back out the door five minutes later on a mission or something. It's a cover, that's it. He probably isn't even expecting me to show up with all of you."
"All of us? Does that mean Legion gets to come, too?" The hopeful lilt to Lia's voice dug at Shepard's resolve.
"Lia … trust me, I'd love to have Legion with us but a geth walking around the Citadel … it just isn't a good idea," Shepard said.
"Well, what if nobody sees him?" Kasumi asked.
Garrus chuffed, his mandibles fluttering. "He's a little hard to miss."
Kasumi cocked her hip to the side and disappeared, her tactical cloak activating. "Not if he uses cloaking. I don't see any reason why he can't incorporate it into his systems. You said that some of the heretics you've fought used cloaking, right?"
Shepard threw her hands up. "If he can keep himself cloaked, he can go. This isn't mandatory, so if any of you don't want to go that's fine. Otherwise, be ready in an hour."
Shepard left the comm room and made her way to life support, Thane's soothing presence beside her. She settled down to the floor and pulled her boots off, shoving them aside. It took a little poking and prodding from Thane to get her into the proper position, but once there she was able to fall easily into the breathing exercises.
She took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. Jane squirmed restlessly in her mind.
"What do you think Anderson wants to talk about?" Jane asked.
Shepard took in another breath, acknowledging Jane's question and letting it go. Now was not the time.
"Do you think he wants you to go after that rogue Spectre?" Jane asked.
Shepard breathed deeply, holding it for a second longer than she intended before letting it out a little bit more forcefully than she should.
"Focus on the flow of energy, Siha." Thane's voice, soft and warm cut through her growing ire.
Shepard had a vague understanding of the seven chakras that human tradition, stimming from ancient Indian culture, used to be mindful of the flow of energy through their bodies and to reach a higher level of spiritual enlightenment. She had to throw that mentality out of the window when she agreed to work with Thane. He taught her what he knew, and although there were similarities, the merged hanar and drell view encompassed the entirety of the body as opposed to the straight line through the trunk and head of the body that humans adhered to. Thane's version felt more like a disoriented tree, branching out through the arms and legs, with points spread out through all of the joints.
Shepard gave a slight nod and tried to feel the energy flowing through her, starting with the tips of her fingers and toes. She felt the hairs on her arms raise as her biotics flared to life, responding to her thoughts. Shepard blew out a frustrated breath and let her shoulders slouch.
Thane chuckled. "Don't be discouraged, Siha. This is a normal response in biotics. In time, if you wish, you can learn to control the flare during meditation."
"Must be why Samara always flares when she meditates," Jane said.
Shepard straightened her spine once more. Taking a deep breath, she focused on the flow of energy, letting her biotics flare as they willed.
"Hey, you know what we should be doing instead of this? We should be spending time with Mordin practicing letting me out at will. I like that idea much better," Jane said.
Breathe in.
"Do you think any of them will ever be able to tell us what's happening with us? Why we keep living through this cycle?" Jane asked.
Breathe out.
"So, what did you think about John? You do realize that it isn't really you that he cares about, right?" Jane asked.
Breathe in.
"I know he thinks he can take over. That's not going to happen, Dawn. That'll never happen," Jane said.
Breathe out.
"Gods damn it, stop ignoring me!" Jane yelled, pain lancing through Shepard's head.
"Fuck." Shepard growled, her biotics dissipating.
"Siha," Thane said.
"No, I can't fucking do this. It's not working. This is never going to work." Shepard jumped to her feet. "I'm sorry, Thane. I just can't do this. Not right now. I should get ready for Anderson's anyway."
"That's right; it isn't going to work because I'm not some delusion to be quieted with calm thoughts and deep breathing. I'm real, Dawn. I'm real and I'm here with you. Always," Jane said.
Thane watched her from his spot on the floor, rising to his feet when she grabbed her boots and flopped down in one of the chairs. "We've barely started, Shepard. Given time—."
"I don't have time, Thane." Shepard met his gaze, tears threatening to spill over. "It's getting worse. I can feel it. They're—they're starting a war in here." Shepard dug her fingers into her temple, rising to her feet, her boots on but untied. "Breaking off into factions, vying for power. Jane's got psychos pulling her strings and John's fucking talking about mutiny. I don't have time."
"Name calling isn't nice, Dawn. Their lives are at stake here, too. Shouldn't they have a say in what happens to them?" Jane asked.
Thane's hand darted toward her face, lightning fast. Before Shepard could think to be shocked that he was striking out at her, her arm was there to block the hit. Jane growled in her head. Another strike, aimed low at her shoulder made her shift, dodging the blow. Jane insisted that she hit him back. Instead, her body fell into a defensive stance on its own accord. Another strike, aimed at her head was pushed away with her finger tips.
The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk. "A week ago, you couldn't do that."
"What the hell?" Jane grumbled.
Shepard shook her head, but smiled despite herself. "Yeah, well, fighting is something I excel at." She pointed at the spot on the floor where she had been sitting. "This … this is something else entirely. I feel like there's a storm brewing inside of me and I don't have any control over when or where it's going to hit."
"No one can control a storm, Siha, but we can learn the skills we need to remain standing when it passes." His hand reached for her face, his movements measured and slow letting her know he was done with forcing her to defend herself. "You are stronger than this. Stronger than anyone I've ever met. This thing that you're dealing with would have shattered anyone else long ago." He caressed her cheek with his thumb, Shepard leaning into his palm. "Don't give up hope, Siha."
"No, you're right. I'm sorry. I'll try again tomorrow, I promise." Shepard closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his waist beneath his jacket and tucking her head under his chin.
"When the storm hits, you'll understand. You'll understand I'm doing what has to be done. For all of us, including you," Jane said.
"You really believe that, don't you?" Shepard thought.
"Indeed. Perhaps we will also talk about John and his mutiny. You haven't mentioned him before." Thane pressed his lips against her scalp.
"Of course I do," Jane said.
Shepard groaned.
"You haven't spoken to Garrus or your caretakers about this either, have you?" Thane asked his words muffled in her hair.
Shepard shook her head reluctantly. A low hum rumbled through his chest but he didn't say anything else. Shepard was relieved he wasn't going to chastise her, she just wasn't ready to deal with it all yet. Especially after the comments Garrus made about killing Jane. That scared her; she felt certain that destroying Jane would destroy herself.
Thane lifted her chin with a knuckle, his eyes black orbs in the shadows. His thumb brushed her lip, leaving the faintest trace of venom behind. Shepard licked her lip, pulling the taste of him in. Heat coursed through her as his lips parted in response, his gaze fixed on her mouth. Leaning forward, his lips grazed hers. Shepard's breath caught in her throat, her fingers tugging at the leather of his vest pulling him closer.
He grinned before bringing his mouth back to hers, tugging at her lower lip before trailing the tip of his tongue over the tender skin. Shepard ran her hands up his back until she could feel the bare scales of his shoulders beneath her fingertips, straining the leather of his jacket. She pushed into him, forming her body to his and nipped gently at his lip. His moan stoking the fire building inside of her, she pushed her hips into his.
Thane cleared his throat and pulled back to look at her with a smirk. "I believe we have a party to get ready for."
Shepard let out an exasperated sigh and let her hands drop from him so she could slap his arm. "It's not a party!" She stuck her lip out in a pout.
Thane's laughter echoed off the walls, warming her heart and bringing a smile to her lips. Gods she loved him. She'd been fighting the urge to utter those three words to him since Kahje, forcing herself to hold them back, knowing he wasn't ready to reciprocate. Not that he had to feel the same, but she didn't want to burden him any further. She didn't want him to feel obligated or rushed in anyway.
"So tell him. You know that you don't have a lot of time with him, and the others … they never said it enough. We never say it enough." The sincerity in Jane's words caught Shepard off guard, her smile fading.
"What's wrong?" Thane's brow dipped in concern.
Shepard cleared her throat and took a step back, putting a little space between them. Thane's hands slipped away from her, confusion etched into his features as he tucked his hands behind his back.
"I … I want to tell you something." Shepard cleared her throat. "Jane's right about one thing. I don't have a lot of time with you."
"Siha." Thane reached for her again but Shepard shook her head.
"No, wait. Just listen. OK?" Shepard waited until he tucked his hands behind his back again, his gaze unfaltering as he watched her.
"We don't have a lot of time together, no matter how optimistic I am about this war. We just don't. I know that all of this with Jane makes things more difficult for us, too." Shepard pushed her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms. "And I know that you've felt at a disadvantage with the things that I know, and probably more so realizing that I felt something for you beyond what the others felt."
Thane's jaw twitched ever so slightly and she knew he was refraining from speaking because she had asked him to just listen. Shepard nodded and licked her lips, giving them what little moisture her mouth could produce.
"I don't want to wait for some 'right time' that might never come, or come just before it's too late." Shepard licked her lips again and squared her shoulders. "So, I'm going to say what I need to say and then I'm going to walk out of that door and you're going to let me. And I hope you forgive me for it, because I think there's a part of you that needs to hear it, and I need to say it. But I'm not willing to put you in a position where you feel you should say something you don't fully mean."
Thane swallowed his jaw spasmed again before he swallowed once more and dipped his head in acquiescence.
Shepard stepped a little closer, her hand reaching out to cradle his face. She brushed a thumb across his cheek much as he had hers moments before. "I love you."
He closed his eyes, and her hand fell away. Shepard turned and forced herself to walk away, her boots threatening to slip off her feet. She didn't stop though, not until she was in the elevator and the door was closed behind her. She let out a shuddering breath and hit the button for her cabin.
"Feel better?" Jane asked.
"A little. And a little terrified," Shepard thought, bending to pull the laces of her boots through the hooks and tie them off.
An hour later, Shepard stopped in front of the two guards standing outside of Anderson's apartment door. They were different guards from the ones she dealt with earlier in the day, one asari and one human in Alliance gear. The asari pulled her biotic energy around her hands while the soldier lowered his assault rifle.
Shepard held up her shopping bags filled with ingredients and beer. "Just here to surprise an old friend with dinner, no need to for things to get ugly, now is there?"
Samara, Zaeed, Mordin, and Miranda had opted to stay on the Normandy. The others were packed in behind and to the side of Shepard. She knew showing up armed to the teeth and in armor wasn't going to win her any favors, but she wasn't going anywhere on the Citadel without adequate defense no matter how many of her crew were with her. Of course since she was in full gear, she couldn't expect the others to leave theirs behind. She was a Spectre though, so she could get away with it whether Anderson's guards liked it or not.
"Jackson, she's a Spectre." The asari let her biotics die down as Shepard fought off a grin.
The Alliance officer glanced at the asari before looking back at Shepard then to Garrus, his gun shifting with him. "She's also unexpected, armed, and with a group of armed individuals. One of them turian."
Garrus stilled beside Shepard, even as Jane began moving around agitatedly in her head. Jane was itching to wrap her hands around the soldier's throat and choke the life from him for daring to point a gun at one of her crew. Shepard could feel the desire seeping into her own hands. She shook her head and put the bags down next to her feet. The movement drew the attention of the officer back to her but his gun stayed trained on Garrus.
Shepard plastered a toothy grin on her face. "You even think about pulling that trigger on him and I'll rip your balls out through your throat. Now why don't you do the smart thing here and tell Councilor Anderson that he has company and let him decide whether he wants to invite us in or not?"
Jackson glared at Shepard. She could hear Jack, Grunt, James, and she thought Kasumi and even Lia snickering and whispering behind her. Jane laughed raucously. Shepard held up a hand and the noise died down, all except for Jane.
"Look at him! Oh he wants to put you down now. He's hoping you'll give him an excuse. Poor kid actually thinks he stands a chance," Jane said.
The asari's eyes widened and she nodded her head. "Yes ma'am, right away. I'll inform the councilor that you're here."
"Thank you," Shepard said, giving her a genuine smile as she disappeared in the apartment.
The tension remained high in the hall as Jackson refused to lower his weapon. Shepard had to admit that she was a little impressed and proud that the Alliance still put steel into their soldier's spines. A moment later the door opened again and the asari stepped back outside, Anderson behind her.
"Shepard! What a pleasant surprise." Anderson held his arms out to her and grinned.
She stepped forward and let Anderson wrap his arms around her, flashing a smug smile at Jackson as she returned Anderson's embrace. Jackson's ears wiggled as he clenched his jaw but nodded his head, lowering his rifle.
"That's right kid," Jane said.
Shepard stepped back and picked up the bags. "Thought you could use dinner and some friendly faces."
"Perfect timing, I was just starting to get hungry. Come on in." Anderson held his hand out to Garrus as Jack slipped past the guards and into the apartment, the others starting to file in behind her. "Garrus, good to see you. How've you been?"
Garrus smiled, his mandibles fluttering lightly as the tension seeped out of him. He took Anderson's hand in his own. "I've been better, all things considered. It's good to see you, too. I hope our sudden arrival didn't upset any plans."
"Ha, are you kidding?" Anderson put a hand on Garrus' elbow, guiding him through the door. "This is the highlight of my week."
Shepard followed them inside, Thane behind her the last to enter. The door slid closed behind them. Shepard headed straight for the kitchen and dropped the bags on the counter. Shepard looked around the apartment, almost exactly as Jane remembered. There was a missing knick-knack here, a different painting there, but essentially just the same. Anderson stopped at the counter to help her empty the bags.
"It smells like him. Like Anderson. Home." Jane's voice took on a wistful tone, making Shepard nostalgic for simpler years spent training and working missions that seemed to make sense.
"Yeah," Shepard thought.
"We alone in here?" Shepard asked.
"Yeah. I refused to allow my home to be taken over by guards, I told the Alliance and the Council that they could have one each outside the door and that was it. One of them comes in every half hour or so to do a sweep." Anderson moved to a cabinet and pulled out a cutting board and knives. "They weren't too happy about it, but I reminded them that before I was a councilor I was the Captain of the Normandy and a veteran N7. That shut them up. I feel like I'm on damn lockdown, Shepard."
"Sorry, Anderson. They just want to keep you alive. Maybe you should remind them of that more often." Shepard grinned. "So, you want to tell me why the secrecy for dinner?"
"Go on in that bedroom and get that armor off, Shepard. Get comfortable and relax, we've got plenty of time to talk." Anderson said popping the top off of one of the beers James bought. "Let's kill two birds with one stone, and actually enjoy ourselves for a few hours. What do you say?"
Shepard caught the rough edges of a frown threatening to break free before Anderson forced a smile and averted his gaze.
"Something is definitely wrong," Jane said.
"Yeah, I get that. He's not going to talk until he's ready, though," Shepard thought.
"Hey, he's got a bar, Shepard!" Jack's voice carried through the apartment.
"It's not a party, Jack!" Shepard shouted back.
"That doesn't mean you can't push him," Jane said.
Anderson chuckled. "Help yourself."
"Oh you really shouldn't have told her that." Shepard shook her head.
"I'm not going to push him. He asked me here for a reason, he's not going to let me leave until he tells me what that was," Shepard thought.
Jack's voice carried back to them. "Thank you, Mr. Councilor, sir!"
Shepard cringed. Anderson laughed and pushed Shepard toward the downstairs bedroom. She followed orders, heading into the bedroom. She heard the door close behind her as she started to remove her weapons from their holsters and turned around to see Garrus. She gave him a hopeful smile, they really hadn't talked much since she snapped at him in the med bay and he said he needed space. Her heart fluttered when he returned her smile and started helping her with her armor. Shepard felt Jane retreat, closing herself off from Shepard, giving her privacy. Her breastplate slipped away and Garrus tossed it to the bed before pulling her back against his chest. She felt him bend, his face moving to the crook of her neck, his warm tongue trailing over the sensitive flesh.
Shepard let out a throaty chuckle. "As much as I've missed you, this is so not the time or the place."
His hot breath blew across her neck before teeth nipped at her skin. Shepard groaned and leaned her weight against him. "Garrus."
"Hmm?" He nipped at her again, sliding his arm around her side to circle around her chest.
"We're in Anderson's apartment and most of the crew is out there." She tilted her head to the side, giving him better access to her neck, contradicting her words.
A knock at the door brought a low growl from Garrus. Shepard chuckled and turned around standing on her tip-toes to kiss him before turning her attention to the door.
"Yeah?" Shepard said loud enough to be heard in the hall.
"Ídolo, Garrus in there with you?" James' voice was muffled by the door.
Garrus crossed the floor and opened the door. James looked up at him before glancing at Shepard and waggled his eyebrows. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Yes," Garrus said. "Go away."
"No." Shepard laughed. "What do you need, James?"
James turned his attention back to Garrus with a shit-eating grin. "I figured you should probably be the one to cook yours and Lia's food. I don't want to mess it up, have you on the can all night. Women don't think that's sexy."
Jane snickered, resurfacing now that the moment had passed.
Jack showed up, leaning against the doorframe next to James with a glass of clear liquid in her hand. "No one thinks that shit's sexy. Unless they have some sort of sick fetish." She took a long drink. "Are ya'll in here fucking? I thought you said this wasn't a party, Alliance?"
"Alright, out, all of you! I am perfectly capable of taking off my own armor." She demonstrated by working the clasps at her hips. "Garrus, go make sure Vega doesn't give you food poisoning. Jack, thank you for using a glass."
Garrus chuffed but followed James out of the room.
"He'll always come back to us, you know that, right?" Jane asked.
"You're the one who said I'd broken him," Shepard thought.
"I'm trying to be all proper and shit, Shepard. We're in a goddamn councilor's apartment. So shut the fuck up about it before you make me feel like a pussy and I have to kick your ass to prove that I'm not." Jack came the rest of the way in and sat her glass down on the nightstand, surprisingly on a coaster. "Here, let me do that."
"You did, but he's putting himself back together again. Not quite the same Garrus I remember, but still just as reliable. Loyal. The most loyal person we've ever met," Jane said.
Shepard laughed and shook her head at Jack's colorful explanation, moving her hands aside so Jack's nimble fingers could finish the clasps securing the armor to her hips and thighs. "Thanks, Jack."
"You've changed them all, but somehow they're still the same. The core parts of them. Just like you, Dawn. Your core is the same. My core. Our core. We are one, and we can make this thing work if you just accept that," Jane said.
"Yeah. Well, I figure if you're ballsy enough to bring me in here, the least I can do is not wreck the place." Jack slid the pieces of armor away and Shepard turned to sit on the bed, working on her greaves. "He's important to you, isn't he?"
"I'm not going to give myself over to you, Jane. I can't do that. I won't do that. I am my own person, with my own hopes, and dreams, and fears. What you're asking is suicide," Shepard thought, rubbing her hands on her arms and staring off into space.
"Shepard?" Jack's voice cut through the dread building in Sheaprd.
Shepard looked up at Jack, scrambling to remember what the other woman said as she stood, crossing her arms over her stomach. "Who?"
"The councilor," Jack said.
"Yeah, yeah he is. Why do you ask?" Shepard tossed her greaves on the pile with the rest.
"Is it? Are you sure about that? What if it's just giving us the chance to live again, too?" Jane asked.
Jack grinned and picked her glass back up from the nightstand. "He's got pictures of you hanging up in his study. You look different. Younger, less jaded but it's you in Alliance dress."
Shepard smiled, warmth filling her chest and chasing away the heavy weight of Jane's suggestion. "He's the closest thing I've had to a father since mine died."
"And I couldn't have been more proud if you were my own." Shepard's gaze darted to the door where Anderson stood with his hands tucked behind his back, shoulders squared and head held high. "You must be Jack, we were never formally introduced. I'm David Anderson."
Jack swallowed the rest of her drink and accepted Anderson's hand when he held it out to her. "So, if you're like a dad to Shepard, I bet you've got some good stories about her, don't you?"
"Oh the stories he could tell," Jane said with a chuckle.
Anderson laughed but gave her a slight shake of his head. "That I do, but I like my head right where it is on my shoulders, thank you."
Shepard draped an arm over Jack's shoulder as she snorted. "Hey, Alliance, you tell Daddy you got a new tattoo?"
"Jack, please. Father figure I can handle but now you're just making me feel old." Anderson held a hand out, a sign of polite encouragement to stop to anyone but Jack.
Shepard laughed and bumped Jack with her hip. "Snitch."
"She's still pushing though, seeing what you'll let her get away with. Seeing when you'll tell her to go to hell and turn her away," Jane said.
"They're really half-hearted attempts, if that's the case," Shepard thought. "Jack can do so much worse than that."
"Just tell me it isn't the Cerberus logo and I can breathe easy, Shepard." Anderson's eyes searched her face, neck and arms for any sign.
"It's because she doesn't really want you to push her away," Jane said. "Just like you don't really want to push me away."
Shepard scoffed, whether at Anderson or Jane she wasn't sure. She turned around, lifting the back of her shirt and pulling it forward over her head, leaving her arms trapped in the fabric. Jack shoved Shepard's hair over her shoulder before pulling her bra strap down and pushing the shoulder straps aside to showcase the phoenix.
"Mmm. Looks good. I like it. That your handiwork, Jack?" Anderson asked.
"Fuck yeah, it's good right?" Jack asked, pride heavy in her voice.
"And now he knows just how much you trust her … just how much he can trust her, too," Jane said. "Now he's going to test that."
"Jack!" Shepard scolded.
"What damn it? I'm using a damn glass and even used a coaster. What do you expect, Shepard?" Jack grumbled.
Anderson's rich baritone laugh filled the air. "Boy she's sure got spirit, I'll give her that. If it weren't for her record, I'd be giving her the recruitment spiel."
Shepard's spine stiffened and she turned slowly to look at Jack, pulling her shirt back over her head. Shepard hated Jane for being right, and hated herself more for not seeing it coming. Anderson glanced at Shepard, undoubtedly picking up the change in her mood. His relaxed stance didn't change, but Shepard knew he'd be ready to defend himself it Jack did something stupid. Jack watched the councilor, tight lipped and narrowed eyed.
"You know who I am?" Jack finally asked.
"Of course." Anderson's reply was simple, relaxed, carrying with it no hint of what he might be thinking.
"She tell you that?" Jack gave a quick jerk of her head toward Shepard.
"She didn't have to, I'm humanity's councilor and she's my favorite Spectre. Finding out who you are—who all of you are—wasn't the most difficult thing I've had to do." Anderson gave a light shrug.
Jack adjusted her grip on the empty tumbler in her hand. "So how's this going to play out?"
"Still Jack, at her core. You can never change that, and why would you want to? She's fantastic, isn't she?" Jane asked. "Oh for fucksake, John! Settle down, she's fine."
"Jack, it's not—." Shepard started to say.
"The way I see it, there's nothing to play out. You're working with Shepard now, helping her to fight the collector threat and save humanity. It's clear she trusts you, and that tells me all I need to know." Anderson's calm did little to relax Shepard.
Jack raised an eyebrow. "That's it?"
"That's it." Anderson gave a curt nod.
Shepard let out a rush of air, her bangs fluttering around caught up in the breeze.
"See? She's fine, now fuck off," Jane said.
Jack glanced at Shepard and grinned. "Calm your tits, Shepard. Daddy's pretty cool. I need a refill."
"She's fine," Shepard thought in agreement.
Jack moved past Anderson and walked out of the room, leaving Shepard alone with her mentor. Shepard ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. Anderson grinned.
"You did that on purpose." Shepard narrowed her eyes once more, pinning Anderson in her sights.
"Don't know what you're talking about, Shepard. Now, you're grounded for a month for getting a tattoo without permission. Go wash up for dinner." Anderson turned away, waving his hand toward the door.
Shepard snorted. "Yes, Daddy."
"Good God, it's even worse coming from you." Anderson shuddered, making Shepard and Jane laugh.
They left the room together, Anderson breaking away to shake hands with her crew and introduce himself to those he didn't know. Shepard gave the go-ahead for Legion to drop his tactical cloak after informing Anderson that he was present. She told him he needed to stay away from the door and activate his cloak again when the guards came in to do their sweeps. The first sweep happened a few minutes later. The asari commando opened the door, moving unobtrusively from room to room before heading back outside. Shepard glanced at her omni-tool, noting the time and how long the commando was in the apartment.
Shepard watched fondly as Anderson gripped Lia's shoulders and held her out from him to look her over and congratulate her on how far she'd come. James and Garrus worked side by side in the kitchen, preparing dinner while Kasumi lingered around stealing bits and pieces off of James' cutting board. Thane watched her from next to the fireplace as she leaned against the corner of the wall. She smiled at him warmly, tension she wasn't even aware of easing when he returned her smile.
"Hey look, Shepard! You're on!" Lia's voice drew Shepard's attention to the large screen mounted to the wall as Lia turned the volume up.
Shepard took a deep breath and moved with the crowd as everyone gathered to stare at the news report.
"The moment of truth," Jane said.
Anderson stopped beside her. "What's this?"
"Something else I didn't ask permission for," Shepard said. "Hopefully it was worth the risk."
Shepard watched in silence, her elbow resting on her other arm wrapped around her chest while her free hand pinched at her lower lip. She glanced to the side and saw Anderson standing in much the same position, briefly wondering if that's where she picked the habit up at. Anderson's brow was furrowed. Her crew whispered amongst themselves as Shepard's interview was broadcast galactically on multiple channels. The instant Shepard made her closing statements, both hers and Anderson's omni-tools began to beep furiously.
"That would be the Council, let's hope they aren't calling to demand our head on a platter," Jane said.
They exchanged glances before making their way to his study and opened their omni-tools. Shepard's inbox was being flooded with messages. She scrolled down the list of names and saw the Council, Sparatus, Primarch Fedorian, and from Admiral Hackett. Other messages came in from other news networks. Shepard didn't know how they had her extranet address but couldn't say she was surprised. She assumed they were requesting follow up interviews with her, but they were not a priority so she left them untouched. The Alliance officer, Jackson, poked his head into the study and glanced around. He nodded his head to Shepard and left again as she glanced at the time—thirty-two minutes from the last sweep.
"Yes, she's here with me now." Anderson said, drawing Shepard's attention.
She turned to see he was on a vid call with Tevos, turning to include Shepard in on the call. Shepard closed her omni-tool and stepped closer.
"That was a bold move, Commander. One that should have been discussed with the Council first. Councilor Anderson, did you know about this?" Tevos' mouth was pinched in a frown, a look Shepard rarely saw on the councilor's face.
"Why so you could flounder in your indecision for a month first?" Jane's sarcasm seeped through Shepard.
"I learned about it the same way the rest of you did, Tevos." Anderson's curt tone cut off any further scolding Tevos might have been thinking of giving him.
"My apologies, ma'am. I didn't intend to overstep my bounds, I only wished to make my position clear in the hopes that it would help to ease tensions. I didn't reveal anything that has not already been made public." Shepard stood stiffly next to Anderson.
Tevos sighed and shook her head. "The Council will convene in the morning to discuss the potential ramifications of your public announcement, Commander. We expect you to be present."
"Head on a platter," Jane said.
"Yes, ma'am." Shepard gave a curt nod to the asari councilor.
The screen on Anderson's omni-tool went black and he let out a weary sigh. "Let's hope you're right, Shepard."
"Chow time! Come and get it!" James called from the kitchen.
"We'll grab some time to talk after we eat. Come on, let's go remember what it's like to relax for a few minutes." Anderson patted Shepard on the shoulder as he made his way past her.
Shepard ran her hands through her hair and followed him out. Her inbox could wait. Lia had the table set and the chairs were already filling up. Anderson held a chair out for Shepard at one end of the table before taking his seat at the opposite end. Shepard was a little amazed to see that both Grunt and Jack—her two most unruly crew members had taken up seats right next to Anderson. If Shepard didn't know Anderson so well, and know that he could handle the two of them just fine, she would have encouraged them to change seats with someone else.
Thane sat down at Shepard's left and James sat at her right until Garrus leaned down, putting his head next to James' ear for a moment. Shepard couldn't hear what he'd said, but it was enough to make the marine pick up his plate with a devilish grin and move down a space to sit next to Kasumi. Shepard chuckled and shook her head as Garrus smirked and took the empty seat.
"Legion, you don't want to sit with us?" Lia asked as Legion took up a position behind standing behind Shepard.
"This platform does not require nutritive sustenance, Creator Vael," Legion said.
"Well no, but you could still sit with us." Lia pulled out the empty chair next to her.
"We do not understand the need for this." Legion swung his head from Lia to look around the group.
"She completely accepts him. Utterly and completely. It's amazing how easily she took to him," Jane said.
"She's a good kid," Shepard thought.
Shepard remained quiet, silently cutting into her steak while watching. She felt her heart swell at the quarian's attempts to include Legion. She wanted to see how the rest of her team would respond. Most of them had adapted rather well to his presence in battle, but he stayed to himself on the ship.
"It's about community, Legion." Anderson said. "When we gather together to eat, it isn't about just feeding out bodies but giving us a chance to enjoy one another's company and discuss things that are important to us in our lives."
"There's the councilor leaking through," Jane said, bringing a smile to Shepard's mouth.
"The councilor's right, Legion. You're a part of our crew; you should be sitting with us." Jacob spoke from between Grundan Krul and Grunt.
Legion moved down the table. James hooked his hand under Kasumi's chair and pulled her a little closer, giving Legion a bit more room and earning him a sly grin from Kasumi. Legion positioned himself on the chair, and rested his palms on the table on either side of the empty plate. Shepard caught Jacob's eye and gave him an approving nod. He smiled at her cautiously before returning his attention to his plate. Quite conversation broken by the sounds of metal scraping ceramic resumed.
Within minutes, Grunt had Anderson telling him stories about the battles he'd fought and the different enemies he'd faced while Jack tried to one up him with her moments of glory. Lia talked across the table to Grundan Krul about his tech skills and they agreed to swap information with one another. Jacob talked to Legion about the geth and what they were doing with Rannoch now that the Morning War was over. Kasumi and James flirted shamelessly with one another, broken up by Garrus leaning over to interrupt, teasing James.
Shepard mostly stayed quiet, reveling in the sounds of friendly chatter and banter coming from her crew. She smiled every time Anderson's head tilted back in laughter, and grinned every time someone caught her eye. Thane spoke when spoken too, and smiled politely but never held a conversation for long. His gaze wavered between his plate and Shepard. Even when she was watching someone else she could feel his eyes on her, searching her face for what she wasn't sure.
Part way through, the asari commando made her sweep. She moved so quietly, that her presence was barely noted at all. Twenty-nine minutes after the last sweep. After she was gone again, and the plates were mostly empty, Anderson stood and made his way to Shepard's end of the table.
Anderson leaned down, putting his head next to Shepard's left ear and whispered. "We've got about a half hour before the next sweep. Anyone you want to join us?"
Shepard glanced between Garrus and Thane who both now had their attention riveted on Shepard and Anderson. They both nodded and pushed their chairs away from the table. Shepard stood when Anderson stepped back.
"The sweeps are a little irregular. You need someone to stand watch," Jane said.
She leaned forward over the table and caught Grundan Krul's attention. "Give us a heads up when they come in for the next sweep."
He nodded and left the table, making his way to lean against the wall behind the bar where he could watch the door and get to Anderson's study before the guard. Seeing Shepard leaving the table, the others started to migrate away as well, still laughing and talking amongst themselves.
They followed Anderson back to his study where they huddled around his desk. Anderson handed Shepard a datapad. "I never showed you this."
"What is it?" Jane anxiously demanded, urging Shepard to take the datapad.
Shepard nodded and took the datapad. Garrus stood behind her, a hand on her lower back as he read over her shoulder. Thane waited patiently, his hands behind his back. The datapad contained a list of names, all turian. Next to each name listed were an occupation and the last known location. Shepard scrolled down the list, swallowing against a knot in her throat when she realized it was more than ten pages long.
"Gods, what is that? Four-hundred? Five?" Jane asked.
"The list came in this morning, it was heavily encrypted and we still haven't been able to determine where it originated from or who sent it but it was made clear that whoever sent it is telling us that these people are a part of The Dissension." Anderson ran a hand over his face.
"How many?" Garrus hand balled into a fist against Shepard's back.
"Garrus, don't. We'll fix this. We'll find a way," Jane said, her words urgent but soothing.
"Over five hundred. We're working on checking the names, attempting to verify the auxiliary information but there isn't much that we can do not knowing the source." Anderson leaned on the back of his desk chair.
"Spirits, they're all over the galaxy." Garrus' words came out barely above a whisper, nearly lost to the din of the rest of the crew talking down the hall.
"Is this meant to be a complete list?" Shepard asked.
Even as Jane spoke, Shepard had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was right. "No … no, it's only the beginning."
Anderson shook his head. "I have no clue, Shepard."
"Who do you suspect sent the list? You must have an idea." Thane held his hand out to accept the datapad when Shepard offered it to him.
Anderson looked up at Thane and held his gaze for a moment before nodding his head. "My gut tells me it was Spectre Protalus."
"Why? Why they think she killed Talid and went on the run," Jane asked.
"Jane wants to know why. She's suspected of killing Talid and going rogue." Shepard crossed her arms over her chest.
"She is. The rest of the Council doesn't agree with my assessment. Quentius is fighting to keep this list quiet until it can be verified. Tevos thinks it was sent in by paranoid humans, and Valern … well, is Valern. Cynical and not willing to speculate." Anderson waved his hand aimlessly in the air.
"OK, say it is Protalus. Why?" Shepard leaned against Garrus, knowing that he needed the comfort as much as she did.
Anderson shook his head. "Maybe she saw an opportunity and grabbed it … thought she could do some good from the inside. Like you taking apart Cerberus while you have the chance."
"Maybe she thinks she's made a mistake and is trying to fix it? Or if it isn't her, one of the others for the same reason," Jane said.
Shepard raked her hands through her hair. "Can you send me a copy of the list? We'll go over it, see if there's anyone we recognize … or if there's anything we can verify."
"No, Shepard." Anderson shook his head adamantly. "Oh, don't you look at me like that. I'm not even supposed to be sharing this with you and you have enough on your plate as it is."
"No?! Why even show us then?" Jane screeched in frustration.
"Cut the crap, Anderson. We both know that we wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't fully expect me to do something about it." Shepard bit her lip. "No offense, sir."
Anderson chuckled and ran his hands over his face again.
"The Shadow Broker." Garrus' words were so left field that everyone turned to stare at him with raised eyebrows.
"Shepard, you've already got plans in place to take down the Shadow Broker and replace him with someone else. Someone who can aid us in the war." Garrus shifted, his mandibles flaring in excitement. "With his resources, verifying this list would be nothing. Spirits, we could probably uncover every turian associated with The Dissension in a matter of weeks. Days, even."
"But the only person for the job is dead," Jane said.
"Shepard, if you can get your hands on the Shadow Broker's resources … it very well could be the thing to keep us from fighting two wars." Anderson looked between Garrus and Shepard, hope blossoming in his eyes.
"But who?" Shepard threw her hands up in the air. "It was supposed to be Liara. I don't know who else—."
"Grundan Krul." Garrus' pulled his mandibles in resolutely.
"What? No. Absolutely not. We barely met him, and even if a dead man could be the Shadow Broker, we can't trust him the same way we did Liara. Can he even handle this? Do we really want a batarian with that much power?" Jane refused adamantly to even consider the idea.
"The batarian?" Anderson asked.
"He's thinking the same thing, you know he is," Jane said.
Shepard's mouth dropped open; she didn't know what to say. Garrus nodded at Anderson.
"He can handle it, Shepard. I trust him, he's smarter than anyone realizes, and he's loyal." Garrus put his hands on her shoulders. "Trust me. He can handle it."
"I—." Shepard choked on her words as the entire building suddenly shook. The glass in the windows shattering as the sound of an explosion deafened Shepard.