"So, Sayori…" Monika's eyes scoured the ceiling staring down at her. "Do you think I'm acting a little too comfortable right now?"
"What do you mean?" Sayori curiously questioned. "How is this too comfortable?"
"It's just that we're both laying across Shujinkou's floor right now and... I know that it's okay for you to do so but me…"
"I'm sure Shiko wouldn't mind."
"I don't know. I don't think I hold the same position to do stuff like that in here."
"I don't think it's that big of a deal, I've been doing this with Shiko since we met." Turning over, Sayori looked down upon Monika's face, her curiosity contrasting her friend's surprise. "Plus, he's been to your house a few times; haven't you two did at your house at least one time?"
"Um…" Monika's cheeks were slightly red as she recalled the answer to that question. "Yeah... Yeah, we did. Maybe it's just the timing…"
As Monika tried to regain her calm, Sayori turned towards the sleeping Shujinkou. "I can't believe how badly that went for us…"
"Yeah… I didn't really expect things to be easy at all, but that was pretty bad."
"What I don't get is why she's so mad at us though. Did something happen during the times I was gone?"
Monika shook her head. "Nothing you aren't aware of. We were worried and eventually captured and the rest is history."
"But what about after?" Sayori questioned.
"Um… Not as bad as earlier."
"…But why is she angry at us though?"
"I can't say for sure. There could be a lot of reasons," Sitting up, Monika shook her head in disbelief. "Really, I should have seen this coming considering how Yuri's been acting since Shujinkou was tossed into that river."
"But still, why us though? It doesn't make any sense," Sayori asserted.
"Well, I can't really say anything judgmental myself considering how I've been acting," Monika sighed. Plus, if I, someone who objectively was the least traumatized by this event acted the way I did then imagine what Yuri's going through."
"But… why us though…? Why would any of that mean that she be so angry at us?" Sayori lamented. "I mean… that's not how it went last time…"
"…I don't know," Monika solemnly admitted. "I guess that's something that only Yuri knows."
That was hard for her to admit, but it wasn't as daunting as what else was on her mind. Monika slowly turned her attention to Shujinkou and sighed. "Something Yuki said really spoke to me."
"You mean how Yuri's doing what Shiko used to do?"
"No… When she said that Shujinkou could definitely make Yuri happy. Maybe we should address the elephant in the room and admit that things would definitely be easier if Shujinkou was awake right now."
"Yeah… I was thinking that a lot for awhile now. If Shiko didn't fall into a coma that night, then maybe we all wouldn't have separated so easily." A soft chuckle slipped out of Sayori as she averted her gaze. "I know for a fact that he wouldn't have left you alone after everything. Plus, there's also the fact that Natsuki would only talk to him after the thing with her father."
"It's why I called him the 'The Heart' of the club, because at the end of the day, we can't deny that everyone is closest to him."
A heavy air hung over the two. It seemed to stay there until Sayori spoke up. "…Still… We can't give up! Sure, everyone's closest to Shiko, but we're still pretty close too! There has to be a way for us to figure out how to make Yuri feel better."
Monika giggled. "No one said anything about giving up, but thanks, Sayori. You raised morale like always."
"So, what should we do now? Do we still go with the go to her house idea?"
"I don't know. We should probably think about our next move carefully. Maybe we can search for ideas from how I help getting back on my feet."
"How'd that go again?"
"Eh… A lot of people trying to talk to me while I tried to avoid them…" Monika admitted with red face.
"D-Did you yell at anyone?" Sayori worriedly questioned.
"No!" Monika's face grew even redder after realizing the implications behind her response. "I mean, no, it was just… a lot of things that would take forever to explain in detail. I really doubt saying that we're willing to listen to her is going to work at the moment, at least if we just go up and just say that."
"But that's what we want and that's what got me here so…"
"It's too complicated to just put it into words or a sequence of events. There are a lot of things you can't plan for. When I came to you, the first few sentences were the only things I thought of; I let my true feelings do the rest."
"Now that you mention it… I keep forgetting sometimes that's why Shiko's so good making people feel better."
"Along with a seemingly universal and endless degree of empathy," Monika added.
"We're empathetic," Sayori insisted.
"But not people who could relate to her the most. Another reason we're all closest to Shujinkou… He can really relate with others."
"We can relate. Not as well as Shiko, but we're still friends; we can relate! All we need to do is find out why is she mad at us."
"I guess that would be the mystery we need to uncover before we can do anything else," Monika calmly concluded. "But maybe that's something we can tackle after a good night's sleep."
"I guess… Looking for Yuri all evening was pretty tiring," Sayori conceded.
"So, you want to stay over at my house again or would you rather go home?"
"Actually, I think I'll stay here and try and take care of Shiko anyway I can. You know, to make up for not being here in the first place."
"Sayori…"
"I know, but I want to do it too."
Monika closed her eyes. Seconds later, a dour look filled her face.
"Monika?" Sayori worriedly called.
"Sorry… I just had a really unpleasant thought pop up in my head. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay."
With a wave goodbye, Monika took one step towards the doorway.
"Hey, Monika."
She turned around, surprised by the seriousness displayed on Sayori's face.
"What's wrong?"
"Monika, why would someone want to be alone at times like these?"
"Oh… I don't know. I guess it's just a natural response everyone has."
"Yeah… I guess that's how it is." A bright smile suddenly crossed Sayori's face. "Sorry for the random question. Anyway, good night, Monika."
"Good night, Sayori."
Sayori energetically waved goodbye until Monika was out of sight. Once she confirmed she was alone, she turned her attention to Shujinkou.
"Ehehe… Me taking care of you; Can you imagine that, Shiko? I mean, when has it ever been the other way around? Even this year alone, you've done that more than I could for you.
Then again, you'd probably say the same thing. Still, it felt really weird saying that considering all I can do right now is watch you sleep and hope you wake up soon."
Unsure of what to say next, Sayori playfully scratched her right cheek.
"That thing that Monika said about things being easier if you were awake… That must have really been hard for her to say out loud like that. That was something that was bothering her for a long time, so it had to be hard. And us messing up right now probably didn't help.
But it's really something is Yuki recognizes that a little, but I guess isn't a secret. After all, Natsuki went to see only you after the thing with her father and with anyone else I think they would try to avoid somebody after their father shoved them into the wall. But she still went to you at least once anyway.
And then there's Rei, who seems to really like being around you whenever you two are together. There's also Kiyo who you became friends without any of us knowing.
Fuyu seemed to like you right away and trusts you enough to ask for help when in trouble. Then there's Mali who's a lot nicer to you then before when she liked to mess with you all the time. Claudette also seemed to like you right away, I guess because of all the stuff Monika told her about you."
Sayori briefly counted the number of people she had just mentioned on her hands.
"One of the reasons you're friends with a lot of people is because you always know how to make them happy in someway or another. That's why everyone usually goes to you when they're upset and if they try to hide it, you always somehow can get them to confide at least a little of what's bothering them. It's also because you want to make sure you're friends are happy that make us trust you so much.
That's one of the reasons why it's really surprising that we're avoiding you like this. This may be the only time I can think of that would make us do that. I never thought we'd ever do that considering how much we like you, at least your fellow Literature Club members. I don't really know about the others, but it wouldn't really surprise me.
I kinda always figured things would end up like that; everyone falling for and wanting to be with Shiko. At the very least, I thought having you around would help ease the tension from back then. Shiko's so likable so I knew no one would hate you even when you were still upset. Though you being upset then is probably the reason you can't tell how popular you are.
Maybe the others do like you that way too. Kiyo did come here all the time when no one else did and Rei really does seem to like you a lot more than us. But I still can't tell with Fuyu and Mali, especially Mali, but she's always hard to understand. But Monika did say that her calling you 'Senpai' is like Natsuki calling you 'Dummy' all the time so…"
Sayori shook her head. Now flustered, she scratched the back of head as she struggled to keep her gaze on Shujinkou.
"Anyway… I gotta admit, I kinda thought that when you became good friends with the others, when that happened I figure you'd kinda forget about me. Sure, we would still see each other like when walking to school and maybe back home and showing up at the club but it wouldn't be like it was when we were kids. That would be pretty bad for me since I'm pretty sure all the times I got hurt this year would have still happened and you not being around and all…"
Her rapid movements soon slowed to a crawl. Her arms slowly fell back to her side as she noticed their time capsule sitting under Shujinkou's desk.
"Like when we were kids… You know I still remember everything about the day we first met. I was being a screw-up as usual and everyone was laughing at me. Suddenly, a new kid showed up and asked me if I was okay. It was really weird being around someone who didn't mind me screwing something up or caring when I was hurt.
Ah… I don't mean to say that was all. I just really like being around you, Shiko. Sure, always taking care of me was a part of it, but I always liked being around the super nice, sometimes awkward and nervous, but also fun and imaginative boy I met that day. I just… always…"
Sayori's wandering eyes were suddenly drawn to Shujinkou.
"Always…"
Her face was flushed as she beheld her friend's sleeping face.
"Always…"
She blinked twice and suddenly, she discovered that his face was closer than before. Her heart was beating as it grew closer and closer.
"Always…"
Before she knew it, there faces were mere inches apart.
"Shiko…"
She was reminded of the last time their faces were this close. She was laying on top of him after Shujinkou kept her from falling on her back. The feelings she felt now were the same as back then.
"I want to…"
Her lips trembled as she they inched closer to her friend's. Despite his current condition, his breathing was the same as ever.
"I want…"
She parted her lips and closed her eyes. As she moved ever closer, she felt something hot crawl down her cheeks.
Why?
Biting her lips, Sayori opened her eyes to discover that she had moved away from Shujinkou.
"Why…? I've done a lot of selfish things involving you over the years. I tricked you and pleaded for you to do things my way, so why…? Why is this one of the things I can't be selfish and just do?" she softly cried. "I know I can't have this opportunity in the future so why can't I be selfish about this this one time? Why can't I have at least one fake moment with the boy I fell in love with? The awkward, fun and imaginative boy I fell in love with…?"
Sayori wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I want to be with you forever. I want you to look at me the same way I look at you. That was my one wish for the longest time, and I still feel that way now. But I know that can't happen, so I want to have as much time with as I can before you eventually go away again.
And when that happens, I'll…"
Though she finished wiping the tears away, Sayori found herself unable take her arm away from her eyes.
"Monika said that she doesn't think anyone can do anything without some selfish reason, but I can't really think of a selfless reason for me right now. All I really know is that I want to be with you forever and I can't tell you because I know it will never happen.
And right now, I'm supposed to be thinking of a way to make our friends happy and here I am crying about something I can't have.
I really am…"
Her wayward arm falling back to her side, Sayori looked at Shujinkou feeling nothing but regret.
"I'm sorry, Shiko. I'm supposed to be talking to you about positive things and here I am not doing that. Last time you went away, I could never be close to you and now I can and you're still really far away. And what really hurts is that you went to sleep thinking that you upset everyone again. You tried hard to make sure what happened in the past didn't happen again and you still felt like you messed everything up.
That isn't fair. Sometimes I really wonder why you of all people have to go through things like that. Me, it makes sense, but you… it's not fair.
Nothing's fair; everything's just wrong at once for all of us. Whatever the real reason, I wanted everyone to get along and be happy even if that meant that the day you would go away for good would happen sooner. But I'm not really sure if that can happen or at least not without you.
We're all friends right? Shouldn't we still do it without you?"
As she pondered her own question, Sayori found her attention instinctively drawn to her right hand.
"'When a friend needs me to be there, I'll be there'. I tried to be like that myself since that how any good friend should be but… I'm not as empathetic or relatable, I've never really been. And yet, I've found friends who were willing to accept me and all the annoying stuff I do. I never really saw myself being friends with anyone outside of you and your family and yet I have.
I don't want to let that go. I really don't want to let that go. I want all of us to be together forever too and so does Monika. I want you to wake up and know that no hates you and that you don't have to hate yourself again. You of all people shouldn't have to feel that way.
I want… I want my friends to be happy and have happy thoughts. I want that and… I want to keep the promises that I made to my friends, to make sure that they're happy. And to do that then, I have to keep trying even if you're not with us. Because I want them to have those happy thoughts and for you to have those happy thoughts, I can't wait for Shiko.
Then again, I guess part of me already knew that since I already started some of my own stuff that I couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to get in trouble if I messed it up."
Suddenly, Sayori noticed something strange. She looked at her hand, then looked at Shujinkou. She repeated the process three times before finally keeping her attention firmly on Shujinkou.
"Weird… It doesn't feel like you're as far away right now. Actually, it feels the same as when Monika talked me into seeing you."
Without saying anymore, Sayori grasped Shujinkou's right hand and closed her eyes. She was filled with a sense of nostalgia that filled her with more conflicting thoughts.
"I'm sorry, Shiko, I keep going on and on about myself. It's just… Even though you're so far away right now, it also feels like you're here too. It feels like you want to be here even when you can't. Part of me wishes that means you'll turn out to actually be awake right now."
Sayori opened her eyes, only to be greeted by the same sight as before. But instead of showing disappointment, she instead chuckled gleefully.
"You're the same as always, Shiko. It may sound crazy, but I know for a fact that you're still the same Shiko as always."
Sayori grip on her friend's hand gradually tightened. "I know you can't hear this and it won't mean much coming from me but… I really do want to be with you forever, because- Ah!"
She immediately released her grip upon realizing something crucial to her plans.
"I forgot to ask Auntie Hiro if I could stay here first!"
Jumping up, Sayori dashed for the door before suddenly looking back at Shujinkou. She knew this was probably the only time she could speak part of her mind without worry and couldn't waste it.
"I know this won't ever reach you the way I want it to, but…" She once again felt something hot crawl down past her smile as she confessed, "I love you, Shujinkou."