A/N: So, I'm pretty sure this chapter is crap. Sorry it's late as well! It drove me nuts, but I couldn't get it right and keep up with school etc.
Chapter 35: Tali'Zorah vas Normandy
Jane clutched the stack of picture frames to her chest, sharp corners jabbing into her exposed forearms as she sunk into the corner of her cabin, tucked back between her bed and the wall. Jacob sat across the room, watching her while pretending to not watch, from his place on the couch. Tears, hot and thick rolled down Jane's face, defiant and daring Jacob to comment.
She spread the frames out on the floor around her, running her fingertips over each of the faces of her fallen comrades. Kaidan, Liara, and Ashley stared back at her, their faces forever frozen in smiles, oblivious in that moment to their fate. There were other pictures, too, pictures of Dawn with Garrus, or Tali. There was a candid shot someone took of Dawn laughing at something Wrex was saying. She didn't like those pictures as much, it should be her face in those pictures but instead it was Dawn's staring back at her.
"Wake up, Dawn. I don't want this anymore." Jane's thoughts stirred something in John, encouraging him to perk up and pay attention, but he remained silent.
Jane swiped the back of her hand under each eye before picking up the picture of Kaidan, pulling her knees up to her chest so she could balance the frame in front of her face. Each slow, aching thud of her heart felt like a knock on death's door. She would welcome death; eagerly embrace it even, if she knew for sure it would truly be the end.
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Jane's thoughts brought John a little closer to her consciousness, but graciously he didn't speak.
"Kaidan." Her voice cracked; a whisper turning into a croak. Jane glanced at Jacob, assuring herself he was out of earshot before returning her eyes to the image in front of her. "Kaidan I'm sorry. I know you can't hear me, you're dead and gone again, but I'm still here." Jane swallowed, trying to push down the knot building in her throat. "Who knows, maybe you can hear me, and I just can't hear you. Wouldn't that be something? I spent so long where no one could hear me, and they didn't even know I was there until it was too late for them, too."
She frowned, brushing tears from her face again and tracing trembling fingertips over Kaidan's face. "I loved you, you know? I don't know how I could have forgotten that. I think I would've liked the chance to see you again, you know, face to face. Even if it isn't my face. I'm proud of you, though, Kaidan. You did the right thing. The honorable thing."
Jane shifted her feet, pulling her knees in closer to her chest, trying to soothe the ache cutting through her core. "She was … we were just trying to save you. You and Ash both. But now you're both dead anyway. We're just trying to fix this whole mess, you get that, don't you Kaidan?" A desperate, strangled sobbed ripped its way from her throat.
"Shepard?" The alarm in Jacob's voice was unmistakable.
Jane looked up at her name, meeting his gaze from across the room and shook her head. "I'm fine." Jacob frowned, but mercifully looked away, leaving her to her own little pocket of pretend privacy.
"They all hate me now, Kaidan. Well, I guess not all of them, but a lot of them." Jane's fingers clenched around the edges of the frame, turning her knuckles white. "Garrus … Garrus hates me. I think you'd hate me now, too."
The soft hissing of the door sliding open jerked Jane's attention away from the photo pressed against her knees. She craned her neck, trying to see over the partitioning wall. The familiar lilt of Tali's voice reached her ears, her heart raced in response as she scrambled to her feet. Jane didn't even know they'd reached the Migrant Fleet. They'd stopped telling her where they were going, and she'd stopped asking.
She took two halting steps, the picture of Kaidan hanging loosely, all but forgotten, from her fingertips. "Tali?"
Jacob stood, glancing between the doorway and Jane. She thought she heard Tali's voice again, hushed and urgent. She rushed for the stairs, an excited smile drying her tears, but faltered halfway when Garrus appeared at the top of the steps. Mandibles flaring, his chin lifted as he drank in the scent of her pity party before stepping down into the room. Jane took a few steps back, lingering near the foot of her bed in confusion. Garrus tuned his head, looking up past the stairs and nodded. A second later, Tali made her way down with Kal.
Jane turned her attention to her favorite quarian, the hope and longing spilling over her in such ferocious waves that for a moment she forgot to be cautious. She dropped the photo to her bed, forgetting everyone else but Tali and rushed forward. "Tali!"
The sound of pistols whirring to life stopped her in her tracks. Her eyes darted, zeroing in on the source of the treat. Garrus and Jacob both had their weapons trained on her, and Kal's hand hovered over his. Jacob at least had the courtesy to aim at her legs; Garrus had her dead to rights.
"Keelah! Garrus Vakarian! Put that away!" Tali's voice screeched with all the authority the tiny thing could muster, slapping his armored chest with enough unexpected force to make him take a step back.
Garrus looked at Tali, his mandibles fluttering in surprise. Tali stared him down, her hands on her hips. "I said put it away. Keelah se'lai, you bosh'tet, it's Shepard." Tali turned to Jacob, the weight of her glare heavy even through her mask. "And you, too."
Jacob had the sense to look embarrassed, but Garrus growled, making his frustration crystal clear. "That is not Shepard."
Jane's jaw clenched. She sucked in a deep breath through her stuffy nose, her hands balling into fists at her side. "I'm not going to hurt her, Garrus."
"Of course you're not." Tali opened her arms, moving toward Jane despite her aggressive stance.
Kal stopped her, a hand wrapped around her wrist. "Tali, you need to take Dr. Chakwas warnings seriously."
Tali jerked her arm free, scoffing in Kal's face before turning back to Jane. She took another step, her arms held wide. That was all the welcome Jane needed. Tossing aside her worry over Garrus and the others, she rushed to close the distance. Throwing her arms around Tali, Jane buried her face in the quarian's neck and released a soul-shattering sob. Tali smoothed Jane's hair, humming and shushing gently in her ear. Jane squeezed her eyes closed, willing everyone else but Tali to go away. The door hissed opened and closed, but the quiet shuffling of feet nearby remained.
Only when the spasms of her chest and shoulders stilled, and the tears began drying on her cheeks, did she dare to speak. "I'm so glad you're here." Jane pulled back, holding Tali at arm's length so she could see her luminescent eyes. Her cheeks ached with the strain of her grin. "I've got so much to tell you. Oh! Your father? Have you heard from him? How is he? Did they tell you about Lia and Legion yet?"
Tali giggled, running a gloved hand over Jane's hair again. "I'm happy to see you, too. My father is fine; we can talk about him later. I've only been told that Lia and Legion have something to show me. Garrus said that you wanted to talk to the Admiralty Board about it, but they're sending him instead." Tali glanced at Garrus who nodded. "He wanted you to explain it first, to see if I thought it was a good idea."
Jane stole a peek at Garrus, relieved to see he'd put his pistol away. He fluttered his mandibles; his eyes alert to her every movement. She turned back to Tali and pursed her lips. "I think it's probably better to let Lia explain, if that's alright?"
"Sure, if that's what you want. Where is she? I didn't see her on my way in." Tali let her hand slip away from Jane, and Jane took a step back. With the natural balance between the two women restored, Jane felt her commander mask slipping comfortably back into place.
"I'm not sure. Probably the AI core. EDI?" Jane looked toward EDI's access node, even though she couldn't see it from where she stood.
"That is correct, Shepard. Lia and Legion are in the AI core. Would you like for me to ask them to join you?" EDI's voice filled the room.
"Yes, thanks, EDI." Jane glanced around the room, noting Jacob's absence with utter apathy.
"Very well, Shepard." EDI hadn't been very keen on telling Jane that she was welcome. In fact, the AI seemed so reluctant to speak to Jane at all that she wondered if Miranda had ordered EDI to respond to Jane.
"They'll be here soon, I'm sure." Jane gestured to the couch, moving to sit down herself. "I know Lia was very excited to hear you two were coming back to the Normandy."
Kal chuckled, taking Tali's hand in his own. "I'm not surprised, Tali has a way of winning over hearts."
Jane grinned as Kal led Tali to the couch by the hand. She always wanted to see the two of them together, and it made her heart swell to know that somehow things had worked themselves out for them in this life. It was obvious to her that Kal had ulterior motives, seating himself between Tali and Jane, but she didn't mind. She couldn't begrudge the quarian for wanting to protect the woman he so clearly loved. Garrus sat down on Tali's opposite side, sandwiching her in between the two of them.
Jane cleared her throat, turning her attention to Kal. "Oh, I think you both won over Lia's heart. She was just as excited when she learned you'd be accompanying Tali. Happy to have you aboard, by the way."
Kal dipped his head, his voice still bordering on cautious but not lacking in respect as he said, "Thank you, ma'am. Happy to be aboard."
A few moments later, the cabin door opened again. Jane stood to welcome Lia and Legion, but Garrus cut her off, blocking the foot of the stairs. Jane's face must have shown the ache in her heart, because Tali leaned past Kal to pat Jane's knee as she sat back down. Jane couldn't read Kal easily—barely knowing the marine hidden behind the envirosuit—but she saw his spine stiffen and heard the muffled scoff, and she thought it was directed at Garrus. Perhaps she might make an ally out of him yet. Jane lifted her shoulder in a shrug, plastering a reassuring smile on her face for Tali's sake.
"Bosh'tet," Tali said under her breath, glaring at Garrus.
Lia appeared at the top of the stairs first, nodding at Garrus before moving past him, making a beeline for the other quarians. Tali stood, giving Lia a hug before sliding out of the way so Kal could shake her hand.
Legion stopped next to Jane, his looming presence calming to her. Unlike the others, even EDI, Legion had no real opinion on Jane and her place in the grand scheme of things and seemed just as loyal to Jane as to Dawn, accepting them as nothing more than two of many programs running in the same platform. Incidentally, Legion, unlike the others, was also the only one who would feel absolutely nothing—neither regret nor glee—in slipping a syringe into her neck if the need arose. The reasoning was explained to him, he was given his orders, and he would do as expected should she step outside of the parameters of acceptable behavior.
Jane stood, resting her fingertips on the armored plating of Legion's upper arm. "Legion, you remember Tali and Kal, I'm sure?"
"Yes. We offer greeting to the creators." Legion surprised Jane by extending his hand to Tali and Kal.
Jane was pleased to see that the two quarians accepted Legion's offer and shook his hand, though it was clear they still weren't exactly comfortable in his presence. She motioned Lia over to the couch, letting her sit down next to Kal. Even with plenty of room for everyone on the couch, Jane decided to remain standing. This was Lia's moment, and although it fascinated and pleased her, she wasn't really a part of it.
"Lia, why don't you go ahead and tell Tali and Kal about your, ah, project." Jane smiled, nodding encouragingly when the young quarian looked up at her.
Lia turned back to the others, and much like she did when she first showed Dawn, she decided to let her actions speak for themselves. Lia reached up and popped the hermetic seals of her mask. Tali and Kal both gasped, their hands darting out to stop her.
"Lia! No! What are you doing?!" Tali screeched, her hand slamming down over Lia's and holding the mask in place.
Jane chortled. Garrus glared at her, flicking his mandibles in agitation.
"No, it's alright." Lia gently pushed at them with her free hand. "Let me show you."
Tali looked to Jane, who smiled and said, "Trust her, it's a good thing."
Tali and Kal shared a glance before Tali took her hand away, Kal following her lead a moment later. Lia slipped the mask from her face, settling it into her lap. Jane watched as Garrus' mandibles flared, and the iris of his visor spun out of control, undoubtedly mapping the details of her face.
It wasn't the first quarian's face he'd seen, Jane knew. They'd never talked about it but reports on the Shadow Broker's ship claimed Archangel once killed a quarian by coughing on them. Jane figured that meant he had to rip their mask off and get right in their face. Otherwise, their suit would have locked down the breach and pumped them full of antibiotics.
Then again, that was her Garrus. Maybe this Garrus never did that, maybe this really was the first time he'd seen a quarian's face. Jane felt the desperate urge to ask, but she doubted he would answer. It hardly seemed the appropriate time for such a conversation, anyway.
Garrus turned his attention to her, his mandibles snapping in tight around his jaws when he found her staring at him. She thought, for just a second, a fraction of a second really, that she saw an ounce of compassion there. He turned away from her, throwing ice water on the warmth that dared to flicker inside of her.
"Just let him go, Jane. You're only hurting yourself and making it harder for him," John said.
"Never." The fierceness of her thoughts brought a spike of adrenaline coursing through her veins.
Garrus' head snapped back to her, his brow dipping low as the iris of his visor contracted. Jane tore her eyes from Garrus and focused on Lia, aware that she'd already missed half of the conversation going on around her.
Lia looked back and forth between Legion and the quarians as she talked. "Really, it's something that could be done for all of us. Legion and the other geth want to help us; they want us to come back to Rannoch. They never wanted a war with us."
Kal scooted a little closer to the edge of his seat, the marine in him barely keeping his excitement contained. "You aren't getting sick at all?"
"No, not exactly." Lia glanced back at Jane and Legion. "Just not as much. I've adapted fairly well to the Normandy at this point, but whenever someone new comes aboard, there's a new adjustment to be made. If I were to take my mask off in the middle of the Citadel, my immune system wouldn't be able to handle it any better than yours."
Tali turned to Jane, her glowing eyes boring holes through Jane's defenses. She could feel the fury radiating off of one of her oldest friends, and it twisted her stomach into knots. She held her palms out. "Hey, it wasn't my idea. The first I learned about it, Lia was taking off her mask to show Dawn in the AI core. I mean, I knew it was something Legion could do, but everything with Lia is new to me."
"It was my decision. I didn't tell anyone until I knew it was working, and I made Legion promise not to either." Lia moved to stand on Legion's other side. "Well, I convinced him not broach the topic with anyone on his own, but still."
"We did not intend to upset you, Creator Zorah. We only saw a solution to the creators' problem and offered assistance." Legion shifted next to Jane, putting himself ever so slightly between her and the upset quarian sitting on the couch.
Garrus cleared his throat, pulling everyone's attention to him. He turned on the couch, facing Tali more squarely. "Shepard—Dawn." He cleared his throat again, pain dancing across his crystal blue eyes. "Dawn wanted—wants to bring this information to the Admiralty Board. She hopes it will help broker peace between your people and the geth. Some of what Jane's experienced proves that peace is possible, under the right circumstances." Garrus glanced at Jane long enough to catch her nod before turning his attention back to Tali. "Miranda isn't willing to let Jane speak to the Admiralty Board … hmmm … so I've been prepped to discuss it with them on Dawn's behalf. They having someone you know personally would, uh, would be a better call then sending in someone in Cerberus colors. But I won't do this, Tali, not without your say so."
The room erupted into chatter; only she and Legion remained quiet. Jane cleared her throat, and when that didn't bring silence, she started speaking loud enough to be heard above the din. "In less than a full cycle the reapers will be here in force." Jane paused when all eyes riveted to her, mouths suddenly speechless. "They'll hit Earth, Palaven, Thessia, Tuchanka … and even Rannoch."
"Rannoch? Why Rannoch?" Tali sat up a little straighter, concern filling her voice.
"Because they aren't satisfied with the number of geth they've been able to convert. They want them all, and any they can't get, they're willing to kill. Meanwhile, the quarian's will be assembling, ready to go to war." Jane rolled her shoulders, taking her time meeting the gazes of each quarian present.
"Well, with all due respect, ma'am, where else would we be when the reapers invade?" Kal asked.
"Oh, you won't be ready to go to war against the reapers. You'll be ready to go to war against the geth." Jane crossed her arms, staring down the startled marine.
"The geth?" Kal's spine stiffened, his glowing eyes shifting back to Legion.
"What? No!" Lia stepped in front of Legion, in what Jane suspected was an unconscious attempt to shield him from the other quarians.
"Shepard-Commander?" Legion's head swiveled to her. "The geth do not want war with the creators."
Jane frowned and nodded. "I know, Legion. And I'll do—Dawn will … ." Jane raked a hand through her hair and heaved a heavy sigh. "We will do everything that we can to keep that from happening. Unfortunately, I have yet to see it be completely avoided in all of my lives. The quarians were taught a different history than what you know, Legion. They didn't have the luxury of being able to archive audio and visual footage for future generations … and perhaps a few simply didn't want the truth to be known."
Jane stepped away from the geth to pace the floor, the weight of everyone's stare resting heavily on her shoulders. "Most quarians believe that the geth started the Morning War. That you attacked them. That you chased them from their homes, and they blame you for their current state."
"That is what happened!" Tali's voice, though stubborn, shook with doubt.
Jane stopped to meet her friend's gaze, letting every ounce of empathy she had for the plight of the quarians seep into her voice. "No, Tali. I'm sorry, but it's not." She resumed her pacing. "When the reapers hit, the quarians seize the opportunity. They believe the geth are vulnerable and mount an attack. As to be expected, the geth defended themselves. A lot of lives are lost on both sides."
"Should you really be telling them this? I mean, don't get me wrong, Jane, I want this thing to work, too. But I'm not sure Tali's willing to hear it, and who knows how the geth consensus will decide to respond?" John asked.
"It's what Dawn would do, isn't it?" Jane snapped, her face reddening when she realized she spoke the words out loud.
She spun around, looking at the startled organics and rubbing the back of her neck. "Sorry. Anyway, I was saying … I can't stand here and give you every last detail. I don't even have all of the details, and it would take far too long to convey everything I do know." Jane sighed, letting her hand drop, slapping it against her thigh.
"But what I can tell you, is that sometimes we've been able to talk the quarians down long enough to consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, the geth didn't want to fight." Jane threw her hands up in the air. "That the geth will actually welcome you home, and you can all live in peace." She ran her hands through her hair and left them grasping the top of her head for a moment.
Jane spun around, moving back to the group with fast enough strides that Garrus rose to block her path. "Sorry, no it's just … I'm not going to hurt anyone, I promise. I'm just …."
Garrus nodded, his mandibles flaring as he scented the air around her. "Excited."
"Yeah," Jane whispered, dropping her gaze to the three feet of empty floor between the two of them.
Garrus eased back, reclaiming his seat on the couch next to Tali. Jane pushed forward, keeping the coffee table between herself and those on the couch. "Don't you see? This could be the thing that keeps that war from ever happening? The quarians and the geth can make peace now. Now!" She ignored the mania welling up inside of her, echoing off the inside of her skull as the unheard chorus of Shepards agreed with her. "If you can get them to hear Garrus out, if they'll at least agree to consider the possibility that maybe what Legion has been saying all along is the truth and the geth want the quarians to come back to Rannoch and live peaceful lives. To coexist!"
"Easy now, Jane. You're getting everyone riled up, inside and out." John warned.
"I don't know, Shepard …." Tali wrung her hands, glancing at Kal. "Well, say something! And don't give me that 'I'm just a marine, ma'am' crap."
Kal chuckled, turning his head to scan everyone in the room. His eyes lingered on Legion and Lia standing next to him, her face exposed for all to see. "I think that at the very least, we have a duty to tell the Admiralty Board of this. The implications are … astounding."
"Shepard, maybe we should take a minute to discuss this alone. Kal and I, I mean … and Lia." Tali glanced back at Lia, just a quick flutter of her eyes as if seeing the girl without her mask was too much for her to look at for too long.
"Oh." Jane took a step back, biting her lip. "Yeah, sure. Totally."
Lia slipped her mask back into place, reengaging the seals and led Tali and Kal out of Jane's cabin. Garrus walked with them to the door, talking too low for Jane to hear before coming back down the stairs to watch her. Jane paced a few steps before returning to her corner, collecting Kaidan's picture off the bed as she went. She slid down the wall, pulling the photos in around her and rested her chin on her knees.
"How you doing over there, Legion? That was a lot of info I just threw at you. What's the consensus?" Jane watched as the geth pivoted to face her, staying in the same location.
Garrus fluttered his mandibles, turning his attention to Legion as well. Jane could see the hint of unease etched into his features, and she wondered what was going on inside that thick skull of his.
"The geth have anticipated hostile actions by the creators since the creators left the Perseus Veil. We have been monitoring organic transmissions, and have found no reason to suspect immediate hostile actions." Legion flared the plates around his optics. "We require further data to form a consensus."
"You have questions?" Jane leaned her head against the wall, keeping her eyes on Legion.
"Yes." Legion bobbed his head.
"Go ahead. I'll answer what I can," Jane said, steeling herself for a lot of questions she didn't have the answers to.
Jane spent the next half hour answering questions about future encounters between the geth and the quarians, all the while painfully aware that the bulk of what she knew might not even occur in this new, strange world Dawn created. It was not without surprise that Legion soon switched tracks to discuss the reaper's role in the advancement of the geth. John squirmed restlessly in the back of Jane's mind, warning her that everything she said would potentially alter future events beyond what she might anticipate.
Knowing that the quarians would attack under a particular set of circumstances might cause the geth to begin countermeasures before those events occurred. Telling Legion that the geth agree to subject themselves to the 'Old Machines', in exchange for upgrades to help them fight the quarians, might urge Legion into the reaper's hands sooner. Telling him that with these upgrades, his people would become something that he himself would one day refer to as 'beautiful' might incentivize geth cooperation with the reapers.
Jane didn't know how this would change things, or what level of FUBAR mess it would create but she knew one thing: Dawn would've done the same thing. She'd have given them the chance to forge their own path, draw their own conclusions, and make their own mistakes. She could tell that Garrus thought the same thing as he watched her, brow plates furrowed, mandibles dancing out a varied rhythm over his face. She couldn't smell him the way he could smell her, but she was willing to bet that he reeked of trepidation. They both did.
Jane pushed herself up from the floor, using the edge of the bed for support and gathered up the photos of her dead friends. She carefully set them back where they belonged, glancing at Legion over her shoulder as the geth processed the new information. "You know, Legion … I don't know how yet, but we can find a way to get the geth those upgrades without you having to give yourselves over to the reapers, even for a short time."
"Shepard's right," Garrus said, pulling the geth's attention to him. "We know where there's a derelict reaper. Maybe we can find something there to help."
Jane grinned at Garrus, cocking her hip and crossing her arms over her chest.
His mandibles fluttered, and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. "What?"
"You called me Shepard." Jane shrugged. "Are we making progress?"
Garrus chuffed, his mask of contempt slamming back down over his face and crossed his arms. Jane frowned and let out a slow breath, turning her attention back to Legion.
"It's not really all that derelict, trust me on that. But, he has a point. Usually it's where I first meet you." Jane moved to stand in front of Legion. "You were there looking into the reaper's programing. Trying to figure them out so you could stop the virus they're using against the geth to force assimilation."
The cabin door opened, letting the three quarians back into the room before Legion could respond. Everyone remained standing as Tali, Kal, and Lia filed down the steps and came to a stop in front of Jane. Garrus moved closer, standing a few feet away from Jane, his attention focused on the quarians that faced her. Jane glanced at Legion and bit her lower lip, her shoulder muscles tensing as she waited for Tali to tell her what they decided.
Tali stopped wringing her hands and squared her shoulders. "We think that it is best if we wait a while longer before bringing this to the Admiralty Board." She glanced at Garrus, tilting her head down at an angle. "No offense, Garrus, but I think it should wait until Shepard is … feeling better. I think she should be there. And, this will give us time to evaluate Lia's progress and the process involved. We need to be certain of what this means, and what the geth are offering before we take this to the Migrant Fleet. This is too big to rush."
Garrus let out a pent up breath and laughed, shaking his head. "None taken." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I wasn't exactly looking forward to being the one to tell the Admiralty Board they should let geth programs into their suits and make peace."
"Shepard?" The uncertainty hung heavy in the air around Tali.
Jane shrugged. "Don't look at me." She turned to Legion, the others following suit. "Legion? That work for the geth?"
The plates around Legion's optics flared, and he dipped his head. "Yes."
"Alright then, I guess I'll let Miranda know. It's time for me to check in with her anyway." Jane ran her fingers through her hair, the prospect of spending time with Miranda not quite as daunting as it was a couple of weeks before, but still unnerving.
Garrus started toward the steps. "I'll take you down there and then help Tali and Kal get settled in. Grunt will be spending the rest of the evening with you, and then Thane has you overnight."
"Fantastic." Jane didn't try to hide the sarcasm in her voice. Grunt was swiftly becoming one of her least favorite guards. He'd barely make conversation with her, and when he did it was mostly to remind her that she wasn't Dawn, and she was weak. Half the time she suspected he was caught in an existential dilemma between wanting to kill her, and knowing it would also kill his 'true battlemaster'.
Garrus flicked his mandibles in response but didn't say anything. Jane started to follow him when Tali reached out and grabbed her hand. She turned back to her friend, with a raised eyebrow.
"I can walk her down there, Garrus." Tali tugged gently at Jane's hand, urging her to Tali's side. "I'm sure Lia can help Kal, and I can find them later. Unless you have nothing better to do?"
Garrus stopped, turning back to look at their joined hands. "Tali, I don't think you really understand—." He paused when Tali lifted her wrist, fiddling with her omni-tool. "What are you doing?"
"Maybe Chatika will remind you that I can take care of myself." Her fingers ran over the keys, hovering over the last one that would summon her combat drone and looked back up at Garrus.
Jane fought to suppress a grin while Kal and Lia chuckled beside her.
Garrus held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. Just … be careful."
Lia looped an arm through Legion's. "Come with us, Legion? There's a lot to talk about."
"Yes, Creator Vael." Legion shifted, accommodating Lia's arm on his own in a way that spoke of far more familiarity than Jane had ever expected to see between the two.
The room cleared out, leaving Jane standing with Tali. "It really is so good to see you, Tali. I was nervous, I didn't know how you would take to the news that I was … huh, I was going to say 'running the show' but that isn't very accurate considering Anderson has effectively stripped me of power."
"I can't believe they're all treating you like this, Shepard!" Tali's voice raised an octave in her outrage.
Jane rubbed the back of her neck and shook her head. "No, Tali. I hate to admit it—he and I haven't been on the best of terms—but Garrus is right. I've put him and Dawn through hell. I understand why no one wants to trust me, I just wish he could see that I'm trying to make things right."
Tali wrapped her arms around herself in something that resembled more of a hug than anything else, her voice low and soft when she spoke. "Did you really shoot him?"
Jane snorted and rubbed her forehead. "It barely grazed him!"
"Shepard!" Tali shifted her hands to her hips, scolding Jane.
"It's complicated, Tali." Jane started making her way to the stairs. If she didn't check in with Miranda soon, they'd send someone else after her to drag her down kicking and screaming. "I wasn't in my right mind. I'm still not … not completely, but I'm getting better. For now."
"What happened?" Tali followed her up the stairs, pausing to look at Spike.
"Long story short, Mordin implanted us with a device created from technology taken from the collectors. Reaper tech, really. It masks us from the collector's swarms, acts as an IFF." Jane reached back, running her fingers along the base of her skull where she swore she could still feel the device. "The idea scared the hell out of me, Tali. I begged Dawn not to let him do it, but she did anyway."
Jane chewed on the inside of her cheek, tasting blood as the muscles in her chest constricted, old panic starting to bubble to the surface. "I guess you'd say I had a panic attack. I … forced my way out, locked myself in the bathroom, and tried to cut it back out on my own. I could feel the damn thing moving around inside of me." Jane shuddered, dropping her hand to her side.
"EDI alerted Garrus that something was wrong and he came up to check on me. I pulled my pistol on him, just trying to get him to stand down because I had to get that damn thing out of me." She stared into Tali's glowing orbs, silently begging her to understand. "He tried to talk me down, and when that wouldn't work, he lunged at me. I've played that moment over and over in my head since then, trying to convince myself that it was an accident, that I didn't mean to pull the trigger but honestly I don't know. I know I never meant to seriously hurt him."
"Keelah se'lai." Her voice came through barely above a whisper. Tali rubbed a hand up and down her other arm. "You helped him though, after that I mean?"
Jane shook her head. "I never got the chance. Garrus was the distraction, keeping me focused on him while Thane entered the bathroom through the maintenance access or something." Jane shrugged. "I don't know. You'd have to ask him. To be honest, I've never been entirely convinced he doesn't just teleport with as stealthy as he is. Anyway, right after that, Thane took me down."
"Teleportation has not been proven to be a scientific viability. No species shows any record of having achieved such a feat, Shepard." EDI's hologram popped up next to Jane. "Hello, Ms. Zorah, or would you prefer Tali?"
"Dawn unshackled her. Well, really, she had Legion do it. But she's been working her way through the crew, updating name preferences." Jane explained when Tali stared at EDI's interface blankly. "It's alright. EDI's not very fond of me personally, but right now the majority in the know aren't. I still love her, and trust her implicitly."
"I do not experience fondness, Shepard," said EDI.
"You will. One of these days, EDI, you will. In fact, I'd be willing to bet you already are and just haven't realized what it is yet." Jane smiled at the interface.
EDI didn't respond.
"Uh, I suppose Tali is fine, EDI," Tali said.
"Very well, Tali. I have updated your preferences. Shepard, Miranda is waiting for you in her office." EDI's holographic display folded in on itself and winked out of existence.
"She really doesn't like me. I blame Joker." Jane opened the door to her cabin and stepped out into the foyer, hitting the elevator call button. "I'm not allowed in the cockpit, and he won't talk to me at all."
They stepped inside the elevator when the doors opened, and Jane hit the button for the third deck. "So, catch me up on everything. How's your father?"
"Oh, Father is as well as can be expected. We talk when we can, but he is still upset with me. I don't know that he'll ever forgive me completely, Shepard." Her voice trembled, and she wrapped her arms back around herself. "I think some of the members of the Admiralty Board admired his efforts to forge weapons against the geth, even if his methods were unsafe. I think they helped to sway the others into giving him a small measure of leniency, providing him with a stable ship and enough supplies to last him until he can recover from the loss."
"How is the Migrant Fleet dealing with his research?" Jane waited in the elevator, even though it had stopped, the doors opening on the third deck.
Tali started wringing her wrists more vigorously than Jane recalled ever seeing before. "I may not have told them everything … Shepard, I had to protect him somehow! I know that if I didn't report him, it would lead to his death—to the death of everyone on the Alarei—but did that really mean that I had to brand him as one of the worst criminals in all the history of the Migrant Fleet?!"
Jane put her hand on Tali's shoulder and squeezed. "No, Tali. No it doesn't. I just hope that your father isn't going to try to pick up where he left off."
"He won't, Shepard! He won't. He promised me." Tali sniffled, her voice thick with restrained tears.
Jane patted her shoulder and nudged her toward the deck. "Then in the end, that's what matters. He's alive and safe, and will stay that way."
They left the elevator, rounding the corner toward Miranda's office. Tali nodded her head, leaning into Jane's hand. "They want me to take over the Alarei." She scoffed and shook her head. "As if I could do that. It would be like—what is it you say?—kicking my father while he's down?" Tali nodded to herself. "Besides, that would mean leaving the Neema entirely … and it would mean that I wouldn't be able to be here for you now."
"Captain Tali'Zorah vas Alarei. That would've been quite the honor, though. That's a hell of a thing to pass up. Not that I'm complaining, I might have mentioned it already, but I'm damn glad you're here, Tali." Jane patted her shoulder again. "Damn glad."
Tali giggled and then sniffled again. They stopped outside of Miranda's door, and Jane turned to face Tali. "I like the sound of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy better anyway. Too bad I ruined that one by getting you to save your father." Jane pushed the release on Miranda's door, and the doors slid open behind her.
"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Hmm, it does have a certain ring to it." Tali turned to walk away, glancing back over her shoulder. "Maybe Captain Tali'Zorah vas Normandy someday?"
Jane grinned and stepped inside Miranda's office.