Chapter 45: On a Hypothetical
"Shepard." EDI's voice cut through the heavy fog of desperately needed sleep.
"Ungh?" Her eyelids fluttered twice before stubbornly staying closed. Her limbs felt like deadweight, and her head swam with the pull of sleep.
"Jack is requesting admittance. Would you like me to let her in?"
Shepard opened her eyes, lifting her head off of her mattress just enough to glance at the clock next to her bed. Two a.m. She groaned. Garrus shifted on the bed next to her, his heavy, deep breathing falling easily back into the steady rhythm of sleep.
Scrubbing her hand over her face, she punched her pillow a couple of times before settling her head back down. "Yeah, let her in." She heard the door open a second later, but sleep claimed her again right after.
"Shepard." Jack's hiss of a whisper dragged her back away from the dark ocean of sleep.
"Hmm?" Shepard opened her eyes, finding the whites of Jack's eyes inches from her face. "Fuck." She jerked back, earning her a flash of white teeth from the woman squatting next to her bed. "What's up, Jack?"
"I'm …." Jack ran a hand over her shaved, tattooed head and dropped her gaze to the floor. "I'm having a rough night. Can I …."
"You've got about three seconds before I fall asleep again. Spit it out, Jack. What do you need?" Shepard's eyes fluttered closed again as if to prove the point for her.
"Can I stay in here?"
She nodded her head against the pillow. "Mhmm."
A moment later the foot of the bed shifted, Jack's weight jostling Shepard until she opened her eyes again, restraining the urge to whimper with her exhaustion. Jack settled in between Shepard and Garrus, wriggling her way under the sheets.
The other woman's hand brushed across Shepard's ass as she settled in. "Fuck, Shepard! You're naked!"
"Hmm," Garrus' groggy voice filled the air, the bed moving again.
"'S my bed." Shepard tugged at the sheet, pulling it back up under her chin.
"Jack?" Confusion mixed with concern filled the turian's voice. "What's wrong? What happened?"
Shepard groaned. "Shhh. Sleep." And then she did exactly that.
When she awoke again, she found Jack sandwiched snuggly between her and Garrus. Jack's face pressed to Shepard's back, the other woman's arm draped over her waist. Garrus' arm stretched across both of them, his hand resting on Shepard's hip. Lifting the edge of the sheet, she used it to support their arms while she slid out from beneath the covers and out of the bed, easing the sheet back down behind her.
She grabbed her robe and glanced over her shoulder as she slid it on, finding both Garrus and Jack watching her. "Go back to sleep, I don't need you up yet."
Jack nodded, pulling Garrus' hand up to hold against her chest and nestled her face into the pillow, closing her eyes. He watched Shepard a moment longer, though, his one exposed mandible fluttering softly. She could see the worry in his eyes. Smiling at him, she mouthed the words 'I'm fine' before leaving them, making her way to the bathroom.
It wasn't any wonder he worried about her, she'd nearly lost her shit entirely in the middle of the Tonbay the day before and then again a few hours later while in a private meeting with just the Admirals, discussing the impending reaper invasion. Shepard still wasn't sure how she let herself get roped in to agreeing to escort the quarian convoy to Rannoch, but there the Normandy was, the spearhead of no less than fifteen quarian ships swiftly making their way toward the quarian homeworld.
She turned on the shower and slipped out of her robe. Stepping under the scalding hot water, she let out a weary sigh. It probably didn't help matters when Shepard made the mistake of reading the Council's message once they were finally settled back on the Normandy and headed toward the Perseus Veil. It wasn't as if they weren't all prepared for the Council to charge her with treason—which they assured her they'd do if she didn't return to the Citadel immediately—but the news sent Jane into a swift, downward spiral. The full system overload from Jane & Company brought Shepard to her knees in the middle of the CIC, her teeth grinding in agony as she dug her palms into her eye sockets. Thank the gods Garrus had been standing right there with her when it happened and kept the distraught yeoman as well as the rest of the Cerberus crew on deck at bay.
Less than a minute later, Miranda appeared at her side, slipping a needle into her neck while barking orders at Garrus to carry her to the med bay. Shepard passed out seconds after, the sedatives hitting her hard and fast. She learned later EDI made the judgment call to summon Miranda personally because 'the presence of the Cerberus operative would be more likely to ease the tension of the crew'. Damn if the unshackled AI didn't learn quick.
The bathroom door slid open, and she turned toward the noise. Garrus entered, making his way to the shower stall and stepping in behind her. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his forehead to the back of her head. She leaned into him, closing her hands over his, letting the hot water wash over them both.
She hummed softly, taking a deep breath to break the spell being in his arms put on her, lulling her into complacency in a galaxy hell bent on destroying her. "Jack go back to sleep?"
"Yeah." He pushed her hair aside and nuzzled against the back of her neck. "Thank you."
She tilted her head back, craning her neck to look at him. "For?"
"Letting her sleep with us last night."
"Sure, no problem." She rubbed her hand over his, squeezing his fingers. "You're working wonders with her, you know?"
"Hmmm." He tightened his grip around her. "I wish I could work wonders with you."
"Garrus … you're one of the only things holding me together." Turning around in his embrace, she draped her arms over his shoulders, running her fingers over the hide of his neck. "I can't do any of this without you."
He chuffed, giving her a light shake of his head. "We both know that's not true. You'd keep fighting with everything you have, it's who you are. Thank the Spirits you don't have to do it without me." His mandibles flicked with humor. "I make the team look good."
Jane chuckled softly, the sound—really more of a sensation—just barely registering with Shepard.
She grinned, lifting up on her toes to kiss him. "Damn right you do." Planting her feet back on the shower floor, she traced the edge of his mandible. "But I meant what I said; I need you Garrus. More than I have the words to express."
A deep thrum vibrated his chest, and he leaned down to kiss her. "I need you, too, Dawn." Flicking his mandibles, he reached down and gently smacked her ass. "We can't hide in here from the quarians all day, as appealing as it sounds. Come on, let's get you cleaned up so you can get some breakfast before singlehandedly ending the quarian exile."
She laughed and picked up the shampoo bottle. "Nah, this one isn't on me. It's on Lia and Tali. They did great and deserve all the credit."
A light chuckle escaped him, the laughter not quite touching the fear and worry in his eyes. "None of it would've ever happened without you."
"Maybe," she said, working the shampoo into lather. She turned her attention to getting clean, preparing herself both physically and mentally for the day ahead.
Jack still slept soundly when they finally dragged themselves from the shower. Shepard got dressed and ran a brush through her hair, leaving Garrus to wake the biotic. Jack grumbled, pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide with her elbows braced on her knees. She rubbed her hands over her face and head before standing up and making her way past Shepard to the bathroom.
Patting Garrus' chest when he walked up the stairs, Shepard kissed the side of his face on her way to the door. "I'm heading down, I'll see you two in a bit." She took the elevator to the mess hall, unsurprised to find Lia pacing the floor just outside the elevator door.
The nervous quarian looked up when Shepard stepped out. "Shepard! I—I … I can't believe this is really happening," Lia said, wringing her hands as she fell into step next to Shepard. "I don't think I slept at all last night. How could I? I can't believe we're actually going to Rannoch. Do you think this will really work out? We'll really get to go home for good?"
Grinning, Shepard draped her arm over Lia's shoulders, steering her toward the mess counter. "I do, and you'll forever be remembered as the quarian who made it possible. They'll be singing your praise for generations to come."
"Keelah, don't remind me." Lia accepted a tray from Gardner laden with packets of dextro nutrient paste and purified, bottled dextro fruit juice.
Shepard laughed, her smile quickly fading when Gardner handed her a tray with a bowl of Kasumi's grandmother's oatmeal—again. Sighing, she turned her attention back to Lia as they made their way to where Tali and Kal already sat. "Not a fan of the limelight, huh?"
"The what-light?" Lia sat down next to Tali, her gaze following Shepard.
Moving around to the other side of the table, she sat down, too. "The center of attention."
Lia shook her head, turning her attention to her tray. "Oh, um, not really."
Grundan Krul's ruddy hand appeared in front of Shepard, setting an extra large steaming mug down on her tray. "You look like you could use this."
Shepard twisted, tilting her head back to take in the batarian. "I love you."
He chuckled, awkwardly patting her shoulder before crossing his arms.
"No, really. I mean it. I love you." Grinning, she turned in her seat a little more. "Just say the word and I'll leave the turian and the drell. I'll be all yours."
He gave her a bemused shake of his head. "Sorry, Shepard. Humans don't do it for me."
"I tried." She winked at him, shrugging before patting the seat next to her. "Join us?"
He glanced at the three quarians, and Shepard followed his gaze. Lia looked to Tali, and Tali looked to Kal. The marine lifted a shoulder and nodded his head toward the bench next to Shepard. She quirked an eyebrow, intrigued by the sudden shift in power happening across the table from her. Whether Tali realized it or not, she led the trio long before Shepard convinced her to speak on their behalf with the Admiralty Board. She supposed it made some sense; Kal being the only one of the three to currently hold any real station in the quarian ranks, who better than the marine to decide whether it prudent to allow Grundan Krul—a member of a race more distrusted than quarians themselves—to join them while they discussed the fate of the quarian race.
Grundan Krul dipped his head and sat down next to Shepard. She thought it a good thing; if the batarian was going to be the next Shadow Broker, he needed to start gathering intel wherever he could find it. Information on the reunion between geth and quarians seemed like a good place to start.
Within a few minutes, they were joined by Garrus and then James and Kasumi. Before long, though, EDI interrupted the conversation to tell Shepard that Legion was in the cockpit, awaiting her orders. She excused herself from the table, leaving the others to continue on without her as she made her way up to the CIC.
Legion turned to her as she stepped into the cockpit. "Shepard-Commander, proceeding further without stating our intentions will be viewed as hostile activity. We are prepared to contact the Geth Consensus."
Joker spun his chair around to face her. "I just want to go on the record as saying this is insane."
Shepard smirked. "I'm sure EDI will take note of your opinion." She crossed her arms loosely in front of her and dropped her weight to one hip. "Have a little faith, Joker." She glanced at Legion and nodded. "Do it."
Long minutes passed in tense silence as the geth platform stood completely motionless, not even his optic plates moving. At last, Legion shifted, his single iris opening and closing as he turned his attention back to Shepard.
"I have received landing coordinates from Legion. Should I transmit them to the quarian ships?" EDI asked.
Shepard cocked an eyebrow at Legion. "We're good? The geth are willing to let the quarians land, too?"
"Yes."
She took a deep breath. "Alright, EDI, send the coordinates and inform the team."
"Right away, Shepard." EDI's hologram hovered above the cockpit's access node. "Coordinates have been sent, and Kal would like to speak to you in the comm room."
"I'll be right there." She nodded at Legion. "Let me know if anything changes." She glanced at the pilot having already turned back to his console, his hands moving over the holographic controls. "Bring us in slow, Joker, and stay in contact with the quarians."
"Aye, aye, Commander." Joker's response followed her out of the cockpit.
She passed through the tech labs just in time to see Kal enter the comm room alone, the door barely having the chance to close behind him before it slid open again for her. "Kal. Everything alright?"
He turned around to face her, tucking his hands behind his back, giving her a quick jerk of his head in the affirmative. "Yes, ma'am. I just wanted to take a moment to speak to Jane, if it's alright by you?"
"Me?" Jane perked up, curiosity and excitement flooding the link between her and Shepard. She'd been pretty quiet, wallowing in silent self-pity since things went awry the day before.
"Oh, uh, sure." Shepard waved her hand a little. "Go ahead."
Kal dipped his head. "Thank you, ma'am." He lifted a hand, scratching at the hood covering the back of his head. "Jane … I hope I'm not overstepping, but I noticed things seemed … tense for Shepard yesterday aboard the Tonbay. I'm wondering if there is something I should be aware of; something to do with the geth or my people you might want to share?"
"If you're asking how this whole thing today is going to work out, I can't help you." Jane gave him a mental shrug. "Dawn's changed … everything." She waited while Shepard relayed the message, verbatim.
Kal tilted his head a little to the side. "What happened before?"
"War." She sighed, the sound full of a sense of ancient exhaustion in Shepard's mind. "While the reapers invaded the galaxy, the quarians started their own war with the geth. It was really kind of an asshole thing to do."
Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jane, you don't have to be crass about it."
"He asked."
"It's alright, Commander." Kal held up a hand. "The quarians went to war? To reclaim Rannoch?"
"The timing is complete shit. Pretty much every other race is fighting for their lives, watching their homeworlds be destroyed, their people eradicated by horrors beyond what you can imagine … and you guys are off picking a fight with the geth." Jane paused, giving Shepard the chance to catch up. "I'm sure it seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime for the quarians, a chance to use the chaos to your advantage, but the whole galaxy needed you. Unlike the geth, the reapers weren't intent on just defending themselves. They weren't going to just chase us from our planets and call it a day. The reapers want to rip us apart; every last man, woman, and child."
"Gods …." Shepard took a deep breath, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling as she fought back the urge to vomit over the images Jane's words brought to mind. Horrid memories beat against her defenses; monsters she'd have to fight, beasts forged from the dead of their races, mindlessly consumed with the purpose of destroying their kin.
"Shepard, if this is too much for you …." The concern in Kal's voice brought her attention fully back to him.
She gave him a wry smile and shook her head, knowing damn well the marine still carried one of those nifty syringes pre-filled with enough sedatives to knock her on her ass. "I'll be alright. Just not too sure you want to hear all of this in her words, even if the doc says it's supposed to help."
"As long as she's giving me facts, I don't care how she says it, ma'am." Kal lifted a shoulder.
"Yeah, as far as I can tell, the memories match up." She licked her lips. "Alright."
"Watching the same stupid decisions be made over and over and over again would leave anyone with a bad taste in their mouths. If it makes it any better for you, the quarians weren't even the worst of it all. The Council had ample opportunity to take action and get the galaxy ready for the invasion, but instead they shoved their heads up their asses and denied every bit of evidence we brought them." Jane stopped and slowly her building ire started to fade again.
"Anyway, that's beside the point for the moment." Pausing, she sorted though her thoughts, bringing snippets of images to the forefront of Shepard's mind. "The quarians hit the geth hard enough it chased them straight into the reapers' waiting arms. The reapers drew the geth in with the promise of giving them what they needed to protect themselves from quarian aggression, but their method of delivery on the promise was to turn all geth into heretics."
Kal shifted ever so slightly, but otherwise stayed silent with his hands tucked behind his back, his feet shoulder with apart. Shepard could feel the building tension rolling off the quarian, and began to question whether it was really wise to tell him everything. When he met her gaze, though, even through the darkly tinted glass of his visor, she felt the weight of a stare only a fellow marine could give, and she knew telling him anything less than the whole truth would be a huge disservice. So, she took a deep breath and continued.
"I took my team to help the quarians pinned down by a geth dreadnaught in the Tikkun System. The galaxy was taking hard hits, and we needed the Migrant Fleet fighting on our side. If it meant taking a detour to help you guys get Rannoch back, then … whatever it takes." Jane sighed again, the same weary sound of a soldier who'd seen far too much. "As Garrus calls it: the ruthless calculus of war. We thought the geth were lost to us … but then we found Legion again, strung up like a puppet in this reaper machine. The reapers were using him as a power source to boost the signal controlling the heretics. We freed him and he told us what happened, then he helped us to destroy the signal and disable the dreadnaught."
Shepard swallowed, working up saliva in her dry mouth. Moving to the table, she pressed her palms to the surface and leaned forward. Looking up, she met Kal's gaze again and continued.
"With the barriers and weapons down, leaving the dreadnaught defenseless, Han'Gerrel seized the moment, ordering the fleet to attack. Problem is, we were still onboard—Tali was still onboard! Hell, she's an Admiral by then, and Han'Gerrel didn't give it a second thought—despite Shala'Raan pleading with him to stop and get the civilian ships to safety instead. We barely made it out of there alive."
"Tali becomes and Admiral?" Kal shook his head, bringing his arms up to cross them over his chest.
"She did in our time … usually." Jane left unsaid the times Tali died long before the invasion.
Shepard already saw the memories, hell she'd had nightmares about them. She knew there were times when they lost people hitting the collector base. She'd watched Tali get shot down by collectors; Legion, too. She'd seen Grunt get swept up in a collector swarm. She'd relived losing Jack, Samara, Kasumi … even Garrus a time or two when bad choices were made. Shepard knew the risks, they all did, and she was doing everything she could to minimize losses.
Kal cleared his throat, drawing Shepard's attention back to him. "Admiral Gerrel has always been vocal about wanting to reclaim Rannoch, but I can't believe he'd turn on allies or risk the life of one of his own …."
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. More ruthless calculus. He thought he was doing the right thing for the quarian people." Jane seemed to smirk, grim satisfaction flooding her link to Shepard. "Of course it didn't stop me from hitting him the next time I saw him."
"I can see that." Kal chuckled, relaxing enough to lean against the table himself.
"Not always, though, some of us heard him out, listened to his excuses, and let bygones be bygones."
"It must've been one hell of an apology." Kal rubbed his neck. "I'm not sure I'd be able to overlook a threat like that … especially not against Tali."
"You can when it feels like the whole galaxy is riding on your every decision. Later, we went to Rannoch and cleared out a reaper base, took down one of the big, ugly bastards right there on your homeworld."
"I saw vids of what Sovereign did to the fleets on the Citadel." He shifted, mimicking Shepard's posture, leaning toward her. "How did you take one down on Rannoch?"
"Daro'Xen created a sync laser from geth tech. We hook it up to the Normandy's targeting system, and then connect the Migrant Fleet up to the Normandy, too. When the reapers open up to prime their weapons, they're the most vulnerable. Remember that. Hit 'em right in the ugly, red eye of theirs." More memories surfaced, doing a number on Shepard's heart rate. "I used the laser to paint the target from the ground while the ships fired on it from orbit. It takes a few hits to down the son-of-a-bitch, but it gets the job done."
"If we make peace with the geth today," Kal said, shaking his head a little, "Admiral Xen may not create this sync laser."
"Maybe not, I have no way of knowing. But either way, we know where and when to hit them. Anyway, with the signal destroyed and the reaper down, the battle between the quarians and geth takes a turn; the quarians gain the upper hand and Han'Gerrel orders an all out attack on the disabled geth ships."
He nodded. "It's strategically sound; hit the enemy while they're weak."
"But the geth aren't the enemy. They never were. Without the reaper crap to control them, they're not bad people. It's no different than an organic being indoctrinated. Doesn't make every other member of their species psychotic." Jane huffed, wishing it weren't such a difficult concept for quarians to grasp. "Geth don't want war, they don't want to kill the quarians, they just want to be allowed to live and grow like any other race. It's why they didn't purse the quarians past the Veil."
"With all due respect, ma'am," Kal said, holding out a placating hand, "I'm less concerned with revisiting or debating distant history and more interested in what might go wrong in the more immediate future."
"Which is exactly the line of reasoning that landed the quarians where they are. You've spent so long lying to yourselves about what happened during the Morning War, justifying your ancestors' actions … no one really knows the truth anymore. How can you learn from your mistakes if you don't even know what mistakes you made?"
Kal took a deep breath and lowered his gaze to the table in front of him. "Fair point."
"It is, actually," Shepard said, holding hiz gaze, "but it's still another discussion for another time." She glanced at the table, directing her next question at Jane. "Are you going to tell him the rest of the story, or do I need to summarize things for him?"
"I'll tell him."
Shepard blew out a heavy breath before tucking stray hairs behind her ear. "Alright, let's get on with this, then."
"So, Legion isolated some of the reaper code—the parts that made individual programs as intelligent as hundreds working together—without what made them do the reapers' bidding. He wanted to use it to uplift his people by uploading the code to the Geth Consensus; to save the geth." Jane gave the impression of throwing her hands up, the sense of defeat strong. "Of course it meant the geth would destroy the quarians if they continued attacking. Tali argued against it, the fleets already resumed firing, and she didn't want her people to die anymore than Legion wanted his to."
"Keelah," he said, his hands curling into fists against the table, "please tell me you didn't let the geth destroy my people."
"I told Tali to try to call off the fleet and told Legion to upload the code. Peace was possible, Kal. The quarians just needed to be willing to accept it; willing to grasp the fact the ideas they held about the geth were wrong. I didn't want to see either side lose, but the geth didn't deserve to die fighting a war the quarians forced on them. If they'd been an organic species, no one would've ever expected me to stand back and watch them be slaughtered."
He rubbed at the top of his head, just above his mask. "What happened?"
"That time, between Tali, Shala'Raan, Zaal'Koris, and myself, we convinced Han'Gerrel to back down. Legion sacrificed himself to upload the code to the Consensus, but peace was formed between the quarians and geth. The quarians returned to Rannoch, and the geth helped them rebuild. Helped them to jumpstart their immune systems the way Legion is doing with Lia. More importantly, in the grand scheme of things, both races lent their efforts and resources to the reaper war."
"That time." Kal sounded haunted; broken and defeated. "Not every time?"
"No, not every time. Most of the time, but not every time. We have to choose whether or not to let Legion upload the code, there's never been a way around it before. When everything goes right, the quarians back down. If despite all of our efforts, we can't convince Han'Gerrel to call off the heavy fleet … either we tell Legion to stop uploading the code. He tries to convince us to change our minds, and if we don't, he attacks us. Which really … I can't say I blame him. Tali kills Legion, saving us and preventing him from finishing the upload anyway. The quarians destroy the geth because the Admiral is too stupid and stubborn to accept maybe, just maybe, if he took his head out of his ass long enough to give peace a chance, things might've just worked out for everyone."
Shepard pushed away from the table, running her hands through her hair. "Kal, are you sure you want to hear this?"
He said nothing, only giving her a sharp nod.
"Or … we let Legion upload his code, and the geth fight back, completely overwhelming the quarians. It's too much for Tali to handle."
"What do you mean?" He leaned a little closer. "What happens to Tali?"
Shepard grimaced, shaking her head. "Kal …."
"No." The word came out sharp and biting as he pushed away from the table. "I know what you're implying, and Tali would never. She wouldn't do that to her father, or to me."
"Tali's father is only alive because Dawn tipped Tali off about—."
"Let me take it from here." Shepard thought, interrupting Jane. "I'm sorry, but just let me handle this. Please?"
"Whatever. As far as he's concerned, it's all figurative. A future that isn't going to happen; something he never has to deal with, so what does it matter?" Jane retreated, pulling back into the recesses of Shepard's mind.
Shepard moved to the other side of the table, leaving a few feet between her and the wounded marine. "A lot of things happened differently in Jane's time. By the time the reapers invaded, Rael'Zorah died as a result of his geth experiments on the Alarei. She didn't tell you?"
He shook his head. "No."
"I warned her what would happen to him, and she tried to convince him to stop. He wouldn't listen, though. He'd been collecting geth parts; having Tali send him back inert pieces collected in the field." She held up a hand when his eyes widened behind his mask. "She had no idea he'd been using them along with whatever else he could find to rebuild whole platforms. He thought he could figure out a way to reclaim Rannoch. If she didn't stop him, he would've reactivated the heretics, and they would've killed everyone on the ship. It's why she turned him in to the Admiralty Board; it was the only way for her to save his life."
Kal didn't respond, studying the table's surface in silence. After a second or two he took a deep, shaky breath and shook his head. It seemed to Shepard the gesture wasn't meant for her, but whatever thoughts were running through his head.
She let her words hang in the air for a moment longer before continuing. "The first time Jane met you was on Haestrom. You were there with a group of other marines assigned to protect Tali. She'd been sent there to try and figure out why the system's sun is dying."
Kal turned his head to look at her. "Yeah, we've been looking into it. We lost two teams on Haestrom … but Tali wasn't ever sent there."
Shepard shrugged. "There's been a lot of things happening differently in my lifetime. I've fought like hell to change things in the hopes of saving more lives and breaking this cycle I'm apparently cursed to repeat. The reasons for some changes are obvious and easy to track. Others not so much." She thought about it for a minute, considering some of the oddities since she woke up on Cerberus' slab. "I don't suppose you know a quarian named Veetor? A little unstable?"
"Why, what happens to Veetor?" Kal's shoulder's sagged, his voice filled with the dread of more bad news.
Shepard chuckled and shook her head. "Hopefully nothing. He just wasn't where I expected him to be; where he's always been for Jane, and I've never been sure why. He's alright, though, yeah?"
"As much as can be said for Veetor." Kal pushed away from the table, turning to face the wall the same as Shepard. "He's on his Pilgrimage." He rubbed his shoulder before crossing his arms. "An asari planet: Hyetiana." Turning his head, he held her gaze. "What were you saying about Haestrom?"
"It's crazy, for me. I've got all of these different versions of reality inside my head. It's even worse since the coma or whatever the hell Dr. Chakwas is calling it." Shepard sucked on her teeth as she worked through her thoughts. "It's not just like watching a vid when these memories happen anymore. It's like I lived through it all myself. I can tell you how Haestrom smelled through the vents in my suit, but I've never actually been there. This body has never actually stepped foot on the planet."
She glanced down at the floor, scuffing the toe of her boot against the metal surface. "Anyway, those are the first memories I have of you. When the others first found you on Haestrom, you were barely holding ground, your back pressed to a wall, your team gone. You were worn out, dealing with suit ruptures, but damn if you weren't determined to get to Tali trapped on the other side behind enemy lines. Heretics. You helped cover my six while my team broke through to her. Jane's six, I mean. Sorry. She liked you from the start, I think they all did."
She cleared her throat. "It seemed pretty obvious the two of you—you and Tali—had the start of something. Jane would've gladly taken you aboard the Normandy when Tali rejoined the crew, but you had your duties to the Migrant Fleet. Tali threw herself into fighting the collectors with the Normandy crew, and then into her duties as an Admiral, trying to lead her people through not only a reaper invasion, but a war with the geth. The two of you never quite connected long enough for a relationship to form. I'm not really sure where you were through all of it, but …." She shook her head, shrugging. "Point is, Tali didn't have her father anymore in those times, and she didn't have what she has now with you … but even if she did, it stands to reason both you and Rael'Zorah would've been right there on the front lines, ready to retake Rannoch."
"What would you do, Shepard?" he asked, intently holding her gaze when she looked at him. "If things weren't changing, and you had to choose between the quarian and the geth?"
EDI's hologram popped up in the center of the table. "Shepard, we are approaching the landing zone."
"Thanks EDI, let the team know." Her gaze didn't leave Kal's as she spoke. She waited for EDI's hologram to disappear once more, giving them the illusion of privacy. "Kal, there's something I want to point out about Jane's story." She pushed away from the table, turning to face him fully. "Nothing is set in stone. I've proven that already. The events leading to those scenarios have already been changed. Tali's father is alive, you two are together—which is fantastic, I might add—and we're about to step off of this ship and onto Rannoch."
She forced a smile on her face. "You're going to be one of the first quarians to see your homeworld since the exile. Take off your mask and breathe Rannoch air, if you like—Tali always does. Then … you're going to have to decide whether to stand by Tali and support her while she helps to lead your people in forging a path with the geth to bring you all home, or let Jane's stories of what could've been sour the taste of a peaceful coexistence for you." She put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing just hard enough to drive home her point. "There never has to be another war between the quarians and geth. I don't need to ever be forced into making that heart-wrenching decision. So please don't ask me to make it on a hypothetical."
Kal lowered his gaze. "Fair enough. I'll … take it under advisement."
She patted his shoulder. "Glad to hear it. Be ready when the hangar door opens." She turned on her heel, leaving Kal alone to ponder everything he'd learned and returned to the cockpit to watch their descent.
Joker brought the Normandy down through Rannoch's atmosphere, angling the frigate at a long stretch of barren plateau. Geth ships, looking like nothing more than beetles scurrying over the landscape, flew over the craggy rocks and desert, approaching low and slow.
"The geth vessels have active barriers, but weapons are powered down," EDI said, drawing Shepard's attention away from the planet.
She chewed on the corner of her lip. "And the quarian ships?"
"Only four of the quarian ships have followed us through Rannoch's atmosphere. The others have remained in orbit. They haven't activated weapons but all barriers have been reinforced."
"Good. If anything changes, I want to know the second it happens."
"Acknowledged." EDI's hologram stood motionless for a moment, and then the slit symbolizing a mouth of sorts began to move again. "Shepard, the geth have identified me as an AI and are attempting to establish communication with me. How would you like me to respond?"
It didn't exactly surprise her, but Shepard wanted to step on as few metaphorical toes as possible while the quarians held their negotiations with the geth. "What are they saying?"
"They are asking me to identify myself."
Legion shifted, turning his head between EDI's hologram and Shepard. "The only others like us we have encountered are the Old Machines. EDI contains code and technology designed by the Old Machines."
"Introduce yourself, EDI." Shepard shrugged. "Reassure them you aren't under the control of the reapers." She glanced at the geth platform standing next to her. "Legion, can you confirm this for the rest of the geth?"
"Yes."
"As you wish, Shepard." EDI fell silent again for a few seconds. "The geth are interested in an exchange of information. I suggested it might be prudent for us to focus on diplomatic discussions with the quarians for the time being."
"Sounds good, EDI." She patted Joker on the shoulder as the Normandy settled to the ground, throwing dust up into the air. "Get comfortable, this may take awhile."
He slumped down into his seat, tugging his hat down low over his eyes. "EDI, wake me up if things get exciting."
"Shall I select a vid from your recent browsing history to play as an alarm, Jeff?"
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Joker turned his head, tilting it back to glare at the hologram. "No, EDI."
Shepard laughed, leaving EDI to her teasing as she made her way from the cockpit, waving at Legion to follow her. Together they took the elevator down to the hangar bay. She wasn't surprised to see the three quarians already waiting, clustered together. Kal held Tali firmly against his side, but looked up at Shepard as she stepped off the elevator. She couldn't see his expression through his mask, but he gave her a slow, shallow nod of his head. She hoped it meant he was all in, ready to support the idea of peace with the geth.
Legion crossed the hangar floor without word, moving to Lia's side, and the young quarian threaded her arm through his. Shepard glanced around, doing a head count. Garrus stood off to one side, talking with James. She didn't see Kasumi anywhere, but it didn't mean the thief wasn't around. Thane and Samara stood not too far away from Garrus and James, seemingly content in their mutual silence. The elevator opened behind her and Mordin stepped out with Grundan Krul.
She hadn't chosen a specific squad for Rannoch, instead leaving it open for anyone who wanted to be present and could promise to be on their best behavior. This wasn't her show and dance, it belonged to the quarians. As far as she was concerned, everyone else—including herself—was just there to watch history in the making; for posterity's sake. If anyone not present wanted to see Rannoch, they knew where to find the hangar; she wasn't going to wait around. "Open the hangar door, EDI. I want to be there when the quarians leave their ships."
"Right away, Shepard."
The hiss of hydraulics drew the attention of everyone else in the hangar, all eyes turning toward the shifting door. They gathered around the lowering door as the first rays of Tikkun's sun filled the hangar bay. With unspoken agreement, everyone held back, waiting for the three quarians and Legion to take the lead.
Shepard nodded when Tali looked back over her shoulder. "We're right behind you."
The quarian ships where just opening up as Shepard stepped down from the Normandy. She watched as a handful of quarians from each ship slowly made their way down the ramps, pressing close to one another, their heads swiveling from side to side as they pointed at ancient structures off on the horizon. As they got closer, Shepard recognized the familiar patterns of Han'Gerrel and Zaal'Koris' suits. She held her breath a moment, waiting to see if Jane would panic over Han'Gerrel's presence, but thankfully she seemed a little more composed than the day before. Maybe Dr. Chakwas was right, getting the chance to talk to someone else a little helped keep Jane oriented.
The sound of engines drew her attention, and she turned, seeing the geth ships rising up from below the cliff side. They cruised a little closer before coming to a stop, hovering midair. Geth, folded in on themselves, dropped from the ships, each one throwing up a cloud of dust on impact. Glancing over her shoulder, she waved to the quarians—who'd stopped in their tracks—beckoning them forward. Zaal'Koris squared his shoulders gesturing to the crowd, herding them like scared sheep. Han'Gerrel's hands opened and closed a few times as if they were itching to draw a weapon and open fire, but after a moment he stopped and helped Zaal'Koris get the others moving again.
Garrus leaned into Shepard, keeping his voice low. "Are you sure you want to be out here without armor?"
"What would it say to the quarians if I boarded the Tonbay without armor, telling them they can trust the geth, but then showed up here in full suit?"
"It's not the geth I'm worried about." He jerked his head in the direction of the approaching quarians. "Look at them; they're scared out of their minds. In my experience, letting a bunch of scared people carry weapons tends to not turn out well."
"There's no way they were going to come unarmed." Shepard glanced back and forth between the approaching quarians and geth. "It's going to work out. It has to … but just in case, keep your eye on Admiral Han'Gerrel."
"No it doesn't." Jane scoffed. "And letting him come was a bad idea."
Garrus straightened, crossing his arms over his chest. "You got it."
The quarians made their way to Shepard's group, Zaal'Koris stepping up to stand at her other side. Han'Gerrel, thankfully, kept his distance from her, instead lingering close to the other quarians. She glanced up at Zaal'Koris, the sharper angle of his nose just barely visible behind his mask. She could feel the excitement rolling off of the quarian, even if he did a decent job of keeping it under wraps. He turned his head down, the shadows nearly hiding his eyes from that angle, and nodded his head at her before returning his attention to the rapidly approaching geth primes and troopers.
Legion broke away from Lia, leaving her to meet the other geth about fifteen yards out. After a moment, he turned, leading his people back to Shepard and the others. Nervous quarian feet shuffled against rock and dirt behind her, but they held their ground.
Legion came to a stop right in front of Shepard, the other geth hanging back a few yards. "Shepard-Commander, we need to return to the Geth Consensus to fully share the information we have gathered since we were last here. We will return to this platform to rejoin the Normandy crew when we have finished."
She nodded. "Go ahead, Legion. We're not going anywhere without you."
Legion crouched, folding himself into a neat, rounded package at her feet. She supposed he meant to keep the platform safe and to prevent it from toppling over while unoccupied. Lia rushed over, sliding to a stop next to Legion's inert form.
"He'll be back." Shepard stepped around Legion, putting a guiding hand on Lia's back. "Come on, time to make nice with the locals."
Shepard and her team closed the distance between the two groups; Zaal'Koris keeping step at her side. She glanced over her shoulder to see a gap of several yards between her and the rest of the quarians, but eventually they started to shuffle forward, Han'Gerrel in the lead.
A red prime stepped out to meet her. "Shepard-Commander, the geth welcomes the Normandy's crew and the creators to Rannoch."
"Thank you. We appreciate your willingness to meet with us. I hope the geth and quarians are able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement." She turned holding a hand out toward Zaal'Koris. "This is Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib." She turned gesturing towards Han'Gerrel who stepped forward as the geth's attention turned to him. "And this is Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema. They've come to ensure the safety of their people and negotiate on behalf of the Migrant Fleet. I'd also like to introduce Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Kal'Reegar vas Neema, and Lia'Vael vas Qwib-Qwib. Tali, Kal, and Lia are a part of the Normandy's crew, and Lia in particular has been working closely with the geth platform on our crew—we call the platform Legion." She glanced over her shoulder at the other quarians before looking to Zaal'Koris. "I'm afraid I don't know the names of the others with you. Perhaps you can make the rest of the introductions?"
"Of course, thank you, Commander." Zaal'Koris turned, beckoning the crowd closer.
Shepard took the opportunity to take a few steps back, putting a little distance between herself and the quarians—particularly Han'Gerrel. She hoped by sticking to the sidelines, she'd make it clear she wasn't there to negotiate for the quarians. She refused to take sides, they needed to do it themselves. The rest of her crew took the hint, stepping aside with her. She watched as each quarian stepped forward, dipping their heads or waving their hands as Zaal'Koris called them by name.
Her crew pulled back to where Legion's platform still sat, basking in the shade of the Normandy and giving the geth and quarians a little more space while the old enemies worked to become new friends. They talked quietly among themselves, swiftly giving up on including her in the conversation. She'd tried, at first, to take part in the conversation, but she couldn't quite focus on what anyone said. Her attention kept drifting back to Han'Gerrel and the uneasy feeling he left in the pit of her stomach.
Not twenty minutes into the discussion, the admiral slowly began separating himself from the group. Zaal'Koris continued on without him, either oblivious to the absence of the other admiral, or simply uncaring. In fact, none of the quarians seemed to notice—their eyes all glued to the geth—except for Kal. The marine broke away from Tali and made his way over to Han'Gerrel.
"Shepard, the quarian ships still in orbit have begun moving." EDI's voice came through Shepard's comm, startling her.
"Where are they going?"
"I don't know," Shepard thought, narrowing her eyes at Han'Gerrel, now appearing to be arguing with Kal. "We've got a problem," she said aloud, reaching out and touching Garrus' arm before moving around behind the crowd toward the admiral.
Garrus followed her. "What's wrong?"
"EDI says the quarian ships in orbit are on the move." She nodded her head toward the two bickering quarians. "Wherever they're going, I'm betting it's on his orders."
"… Legion. I've seen her without her mask." Kal waved his arm out behind him toward the crowd, his voice low and heavy with restraint. "With all due respect, sir, you don't know what you're talking about."
"Where are your ships going, Admiral?" Shepard asked, drawing the attention of both quarians. She came to a stop a few feet away from Han'Gerrel, and crossed her arms over her chest.
"It's not your concern, Shepard." The admiral waved a dismissive hand. "You can put your faith in the geth if you want to, but these are my people we're talking about, and it's my duty to protect them."
Kal turned his attention back to Han'Gerrel. "How will you be protecting us if you incite a war?"
Han'Gerrel spun on Kal, pressing a finger into the marine's chest. "If I incite a war? The geth are our enemies. They stand here on our world welcoming us to Rannoch as if it belongs to them and we are nothing more than beggars come to simper at their feet in hopes of scraps!" He rammed both hands into Kal's shoulders, shoving him back. "We are already—."
Shepard lunged forward and grabbed Han'Gerrel's wrist, twisting it behind him, and planting her foot in the back of his knee, she dragged him to the ground. He screamed, whether in shock or pain she wasn't sure and she didn't care. She knelt down next to him, one knee keeping him pinned face first into the dirt. "Let me make something clear." Her words came out between clenched teeth; taking every bit of her restraint not to lay into the quarian. "Kal is a member of my crew. He's serving on my ship, under my command, which means you keep your hands off of him or I'll break your goddamn fingers."
"I say do it anyway."
"Uh, Shepard?" Garrus' subvocals trembled with warning.
She looked up, following his gaze back to the crowd a few yards away. Several quarians held weapons aimed at her.
"Or maybe not."
They looked back and forth between her, Zaal'Koris, and the geth now at their backs. The geth stood by, watching with an almost eerie calm, seemingly unconcerned so long as the weapons weren't pointed at them. Zaal'Koris waved his hands up and down, urging them to lower their weapons. Tali held out her hands, putting herself between Shepard and the other quarians. She could just make out the anxious sound of Tali's voice, but couldn't hear what she was saying to the crowd. Whatever it was, it did the trick; they re-holstered their weapons.
Zaal'Koris made his way over, stopping next to Kal as he waved his hand out at Shepard and the subdued admiral. "Under different circumstances, I might find this scene amusing …."
"Sorry, sir, but Admiral Gerrel ordered the rest of our ships to scout out the geth space stations." Kal squared his shoulders. "He's hoping to find weaknesses to use against the geth. His actions could be seen as hostile activity, sir, endangering everyone here." He tucked his hands behind his back. "I attempted to convince him it's an unwise course of action, but he wouldn't be swayed." He glanced down at Shepard. "Commander Shepard intervened when he resorted to the use of physical aggression to get his point across to me."
Zaal'Koris' gaze swept over Shepard before he lifted a hand to his comm. "This is Admiral Zaal'Koris. I'm countermanding the orders of Admiral Han'Gerrel. All ships will return to Rannoch orbit at once, or I will insist the ship captains be charged with treason on the grounds of sabotaging negotiations for peace." A moment later he nodded to no one in particular and crouched down in front of Han'Gerrel. "I will not allow you to ruin this for us, Han. We have a chance here to not only make amends for the misbegotten actions of our ancestors, but to bring our people home."
"You're all fools if you believe the geth won't turn on us the second they have the opportunity." Han'Gerrel cursed under his breath, the words muffled. "Our deaths will be on your head, Zaal." He struggled against Shepard, trying to pull himself free.
She wrenched his arm up further behind him, ripping a strangled gasp from the quarian. "I suggest you be still before I decide you don't need your fingers after all." She turned her attention to Zaal'Koris. "What do you want to do, Admiral?"
Zaal'Koris took a deep breath. "I defer to you on this matter … Spectre."
She reached up, activating her comm. "Shepard to Normandy." She waited for EDI's responding query. "Send Grunt out here, please."
"Right away, Shepard."
"Shepard-Commander, are you in need of assistance?" Legion's voice came from somewhere behind her.
She glanced over her shoulder, finding not only Legion—she didn't even know when he'd returned to his platform—but the rest of her crew watching, hands hovering over holstered weapons or with biotic flames licking at their fingers. "I've got the situation under control." She turned back to Zaal'Koris. "I'm placing him under guard on my ship until the talks are over and you're ready to return to the Migrant Fleet. I'll release him to you, then. I suggest you keep him under guard at least until you've left the Perseus Veil. What happens then is up to you and the rest of the Admiralty Board."
He nodded. "Thank you, Shepard."
"Just go fix this with the geth." She stood, pulling Han'Gerrel to his feet. Disarming him, she handed his weapons to Kal before steering the admiral toward the Normandy.
Grunt met her on the ramp, accepting the quarian when she passed the prisoner off without question.
"Take him to your quarters and keep him there." She glared at the admiral. "If he tries to leave or contact anyone … break something non-lethal then call Dr. Chakwas. I'll be back for him when this is done."
Grunt laughed, shoving Han'Gerrel ahead of him. "Come on, pyjak. Let's play a game."
"Grunt?" Shepard called after the retreating krogan. "Only if he tries to leave or contact anyone. Or of course if he's stupid enough to lay a finger on you or anyone else on the ship. And don't deny him food and drink—dextro!"
"Don't worry, Shepard. If the pyjak behaves, you'll get him back in one piece," He said, not bothering to stop or even look at her.
She shook her head and turned around, making her way back down the ramp to join her crew.
James took a couple of steps up the ramp to meet her, looking past her toward where Grunt disappeared with Han'Gerrel. "Everything alright, Ídolo?"
"Gods, I hope so." She glanced at the crowd of quarians and geth, once again holding one another's attention. "We're overdue for a win, you know?"
He rubbed the back of his neck, following her gaze out at the geth. "Yeah."