Chapter 47: Blood in the Water

"How are you holding up, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas swept hair out of her face, tucking it back behind her ear. Her gaze shifted back and forth between a datapad on her lap and Shepard.

"Uh, I'm good." Shepard shrugged. "Tired, but good."

"Mmm." The doctor studied the datapad for a moment. "EDI reports you've been getting between six and eight hours of sleep most nights. This is about average for you, wouldn't you say?" She looked up again, raising an eyebrow.

Shepard nodded, leaning back against the med bay bed behind her.

Dr. Chakwas turned her attention back to the datapad, taking note of something while she continued on with her battery of questions. "Would you say you've been feeling more tired than usual?"

Shepard thought about it for a minute and shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so."

"And the headaches?" The doctor continued ticking off questions from her prepared list.

"A little worse … more frequent." Shepard didn't bother to mention the whole Q&A thing was giving her one as they spoke.

Dr. Chakwas paused to make another note on her datapad before asking the next question. "How's your appetite?"

Shepard let out a bored huff of breath, watching as it made the hair hanging down in her face flutter. "Same as always."

"Alcohol and caffeine intake?"

"Same."

Dr. Chakwas sighed, glancing up at Shepard without lifting her head. "Commander, we've talked about this."

"Yep." Shepard dragged out the first part of the word, using it to emphasize her utter lack of enthusiasm on the subject.

The doctor lifted her head and leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. "I don't suppose it'll do any good to discuss it again?"

Shepard lifted the corner of her mouth in a smirk. "Nope."

Dr. Chakwas frowned, giving Shepard her severe, scolding stare for a moment before sighing dejectedly. "Jane, how're you doing?"

"I'm holding together, mostly," Jane said, and Shepard gave herself over to playing mouthpiece.

"Mostly?" Dr. Chakwas arched an eyebrow, holding Shepard's gaze as if it'd tell her something more about what Jane thought and felt.

"Some days are worse than others. Being around some people make it better, some people make it worse."

Hand poised over her datapad, Dr. Chakwas asked, "Who makes it better?"

"The crew … except maybe Miranda and Mordin. Anderson. You."

After taking her notes, the doctor looked up again. "And who makes it worse?"

"Uh, Han'Gerrel apparently. Daro'Xen. The Council. The Illusive Man."

Dr. Chakwas paused in her note-taking. "Anyone else?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

The doctor let Jane's answer linger for a moment, her steady gaze studying Shepard. "How are the others?"

"John is … John. He still thinks he's fighting the good fight, holding down the fort and all of that. The others are as crazy as ever. Maybe a little more so now we know Dawn can cannibalize us."

"Mmm, yes. I imagine that must be a terrifying thought for all of you." Dr. Chakwas sighed and dumped the datapad on her desk before pushing to her feet. She came to lean against the bed next to Shepard and loosely crossed her arms in front of her. "I'm not going to lie to you, Commander. I'm concerned your situation may be worsening."

"What? Why?" Shepard shifted against the bed to face the doctor more squarely. "I think things have been pretty good all in all. Hell, maybe better than they've ever been since we woke up in Cerberus. Jane seems more stable … she hasn't tried taking over since the coma … I don't see the problem."

"I'm afraid it's more complicated than that, Shepard." Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool, showing Shepard a data table. "Since the coma, your brain scans have shown increasingly higher levels of activity in all areas, even when resting. In effect, you're not reaching restorative sleep levels when sleeping, and when awake your brain is behaving as if you are deep in the trenches with bullets flying all around you when you're simply eating breakfast!" She closed the omni-tool again when Shepard didn't give it more than a passing glance. "It becomes exponential when you're actually engaged in stressful situations. Without the Cerberus implants constantly working to repair your body, I'm afraid you'd be in far worse condition right now."

Shepard rubbed her forehead, the developing headache shifting from a mere threat to a full blown promise. "So what's it mean for me?"

"I honestly don't know." Dr. Chakwas shook her head, gesturing at Shepard. "Everything about you is a unique case. There's nothing for me to compare it to, really. Common sense alone says this can't be good for you, however, and you can't keep going like this forever." Her shoulders sagged a little, making the older woman age right before Shepard's eyes. "Eventually, Cerberus implants or not, it will tear you down."

Shepard swallowed back the bile trying to work its way up her throat. "I don't need to keep going forever, doc. I just need to keep going long enough to kick the reapers back to the hell they crawled out of. That's it."

"Commander." Dr. Chakwas frowned, her tone motherly and chastising.

"It is what it is," Shepard said with a scoff, denying the sick panic worming its way through her chest. "Patch me up when you can and send me back out to fight for as long as I can, doc. That's all we need from you. You don't see it yet, but we are in the trenches, and I don't have relief coming so I've got to keep fighting for as long as I can, and make sure the others can pick up where I leave off when I finally fall."

Worry creased the corners of the seasoned, former Alliance doctor's eyes. She'd seen war, she knew the toll it took on soldiers, and just then, the heartache of her experiences showed. "You sound like someone who's given up hope."

Shepard sighed, closing her eyes just so she wouldn't have to see the pain she caused the doctor. "No, not completely. Don't get me wrong, I want to see the other side of this and I'm going to fight like hell to make it happen … but no, I'm not feeling exceptionally optimistic." Opening her eyes again, she returned her gaze to the other woman's, hoping to find some hint she understood. "I've managed to change all kinds of things, doc, but I haven't managed to make much of it any better. Hell, I've made a lot of it worse. Ashley, Kaidan, Liara, and Dr. Tulina are dead. The leviathans gave me the big 'fuck you', Anderson's been arrested, and the Council wants to charge me with treason."

Dr. Chakwas let go of a heavy sigh and looked down at the floor, letting the silence weigh heavy between them for a moment. "You've been using 'we' instead of 'I' a lot more frequently and you're now emoting when you speak for Jane as well."

The latter was news to Shepard. She hadn't realized—didn't even really feel any change in her poster or expression while she let Jane talk … certainly not anything other than her general sense of impatience and boredom. As for the 'we' instead of 'I' thing … admittedly she caught herself doing it a time or two, but it'd be hard for anyone to keep things like that straight when the voice in their head didn't either. Really, it didn't mean anything more than a slip of the tongue, right?

"My oaths tell me I should bench you, Commander, but I'm not foolish enough to believe any authority I have here extends beyond what you give to me." Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath and lifted her head, her gaze focused on the door to the AI core at the back of the room. "Not anymore. And I believe you, we're about to face an enemy beyond what any of us can imagine—save you. We need you, plain and simple. But make no mistake, I won't stand aside and watch you destroy yourself because of some messiah complex."

"It's not a messiah complex. We have to do this. No one else besides Anderson and the Illusive Man ever make it to the Catalyst. Anderson dies on us thanks to that asshole, and The Intelligence makes it clear it'd never let the Illusive Man operate the Crucible."

Shepard stayed quiet, letting Jane feel her silent agreement. She sensed the doctor needed to say something more, so Shepard kept hers and Jane's arguments to herself. The other woman certainly wasn't wrong. With Shepard on the run from the Council, her ties to the Alliance were shut down, too. The Alliance couldn't work with Shepard, and they couldn't back up Dr. Chakwas authority as the ship's doctor.

Any contact with Shepard or anyone else on the Normandy—save ordering James off the ship, and it honestly surprised her they hadn't done so already—by the Alliance while the Council wanted to bring her in, risked political conflict. Not that they really had any say over what happened on the Normandy either way, not while the ship technically belonged to Cerberus—aka a terrorist group not affiliated with the Alliance—but Shepard always did her best to stay loyal to the Alliance. And whereas Cerberus might've given Dr. Chakwas some authority, the tide changed the moment Shepard put plans into motion to replace the Illusive Man and Dr. Chakwas failed to report the planned mutiny to the Illusive Man. Really, few who knew of all the things discussed behind closed doors would dare to think the Normandy was truly a Cerberus vessel anymore, either.

"If that's what you insist on doing, I won't stick around to watch." The doctor met Shepard's gaze with her own unwavering stare. "Drop me off at the next port. Mordin and Miranda are perfectly capable of tending to the crew's medical needs."

"Ouch … she wouldn't. Right? Not really."

"I don't know," thought Shepard.

"What do you expect me to do, doc?" Shoulders dropping in defeat, she shook her head. "There's no way in hell I'm taking myself out of the fight, you know that. There's too much at stake, not just for the galaxy, but for me personally, too."

"I expect you to meet me halfway." Dr. Chakwas turned her palms out and shrugged. "Your team has proven themselves more than capable of handling missions without you. Do you really need to be present for every ground excursion? Do you need to involve yourself in politics? Do you really need a fifth cup of coffee or nightcap?" She frowned and gave her head a little shake. "I'm not just pleading as your doctor, but as your friend, Shepard. Please. Fight for yourself at least half as hard as you fight for everyone else."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Shepard looked down at the floor and sucked her teeth. "Alright."

"Alright?" The doctor's tone carried enough incredulity to dig the knife in a little deeper, sending a fresh wave of guilt over the commander.

"Alright." Shepard threw her hands up. "I'll try harder to follow your recommendations."

Dr. Chakwas snorted. "That'll be the day."

"EDI?" Shepard turned toward the AI's access node. "Call the team into the comm room. I need to brief them on the next mission. They'll be going down without me."

"Right away, Shepard," EDI said.

She turned back to Dr. Chakwas and cocked an eyebrow. "Happy?"

The older woman grinned, pushing away from the bed to return to her datapad. "It's a start."

"I think we just got played."

Shepard scoffed, shaking her head despite the smile on her face. "We'll talk more later. I need to get to the comm room." She made her way toward the door.

"Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas called after her, pausing until she turned to look over her shoulder. "Thank you."

The sincerity in the doctor's voice brought a warm smile to Shepard's face. "Yeah, doc. You're welcome."

By the time she made her way to the comm room, her team already waited for her, sans Tali and Kal, of course. Even though she knew they'd be coming back, it still made her a little sad to have them gone—especially since it took awhile to get them on the team to begin with. Now, the rest of her team was about to take on the Shadow Broker, which meant leaving Grundan Krul behind, too. Then before long, if everything went according to plan, Miranda would be leaving the Normandy to replace the Illusive Man. The ship felt real empty, real quick.

"Alright, Garrus, you'll be taking the lead on this one." She stepped up to the table, resting her hands on the surface as she looked around the room at her team. "There's no telling what might be different, so my intel may no longer be accurate. I'll tell you everything I can, though."

She spent more than an hour going over what she and Jane could remember about the attack on the Shadow Broker's base. She covered everything from where she encountered enemies, using the lightning rods as weapons, the locked door Liara used a special hacking program for, to how they went about killing the Broker himself. EDI helped her construct a map from the memories, complete with where she remembered facing the heaviest resistance, where the Shadow Broker could be found, and machine he'd hooked Feron up to for torture. She emphasized as much as she could how strong the Broker was, and how Liara used her biotics to break the energy storage tank in the ceiling, filled with some electrically charged, conductive fluid as a means to destroy the yahg.

Since Garrus never encountered Feron during his time chasing down Shepard's body, she couldn't know for sure if he'd even be on the ship let alone need rescuing—and if they did find him, the chances were high he wouldn't be on their side. Grundan Krul told them he'd been trying to track down the agent but didn't really find anything of use. He was fairly certain, however, 'Feron' wasn't the drell's real name, but he remained an active agent. All things considered, Shepard insisted he'd be worth trying to talk to if they found him.

"OK, so, any questions?" She glanced over her team again.

Zaeed grunted from his place against the wall next to the door. "Yeah, I've got one. If this is so goddamn important, why are you sitting it out? No offense to your boyfriend here, but shouldn't you be leading this one?"

"I have faith in all of you." She forced a smile on her face, even though she could feel Jane bristling and it set her on edge. "Garrus can lead the team just fine without me."

Zaeed watched her, his one dead eye shifting around, even if it couldn't make out her features. Unreadable, his face didn't give anything away, no hint as to what he thought. She could feel it, though, the subtle doubt and withdraw. He wasn't a soldier but a merc, and no matter how much she liked the guy, she needed to accept he didn't live by the same codes she did. If she didn't live up the hype, he'd cut his losses and run. No way would he follow her on a suicide mission if he thought for even a minute she wasn't cutout for the job of giving him the best possible chance to come out the other side alive. Dead Vido Santiago or not; hell, she wasn't even there with him for his revenge.

Jane broke her silence with the harsh snap of wounded pride. "That wasn't our call. Anderson confined us to the ship, I would've happily gone."

"I know, and so does he," Shepard thought. "Doesn't really change the facts, though. We weren't there. We gave him information he needed, and maybe that bought us something. But it's not the same kind of loyalty as if we were there with him, helping him to take Vido down."

Zaeed lifted the corner of his lip, sucking on his teeth as he looked away, shaking his head.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, dropping her weight to one leg. "We got a problem, Massani?"

He huffed a quick breath of cynical laughter and shook his head again. "You and me, we don't got a problem, Shepard." Tilting his head toward her, he lifted an eyebrow. "But you do."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Garrus shifted next to her, a low, threatening growl coming from him amped up the tension in the room a notch or two. Grunt's giant head swiveled, lip lifted in a silent snarl as he took in the old merc. James crossed his arms over his chest, seeming to flex every muscle in his body as if Zaeed would be intimidated by his massive physique alone—the idea almost made her laugh; almost. If anything could be said for Zaeed Massani, the man was unshakable and with balls of steel.

Still, it didn't make him invincible. She wondered if he noticed Thane now stood within striking distance; she didn't even see Thane leave her side, but there he was, on the other side of the room, right in what she assumed to be a blind spot for the ragged old merc. The others all watched in silence, some shifting a little as their gazes swung back and forth, but apparently they didn't consider Zaeed a threat at the moment. Good, because all things considered, neither did she.

"Keep your attack dogs on a leash, Shepard." He snorted, lip twitching in a sneer. "All I'm saying is if I can smell blood in the water, you can bet your pretty little ass the other sharks out there will, too."

She raised an eyebrow. "I guess I'll just have to make sure I stay stocked up on thermal clips, then, now won't I?"

Grunt laughed, his snarl turning into an approving grin as he turned his attention back to Shepard, seemingly content the merc didn't plan on doing anything stupid for the time being. Zaeed chuckled, and the tense atmosphere began to dissipate, leading the others to relax.

Garrus cleared his throat and stepped a little closer to the table, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Alright. There's a chance he's expecting Shepard to show up at some point, so he might be prepared. As she said, things might've changed. We'll go in with two teams. Jack and Grunt with me. James will lead the second team, Grundan Krul and Miranda with him." He glanced over the crowd. "Thane and Mordin, I want you two on standby. If we find this Feron, he may need medical attention, and having one of his own around might help smooth things over."

"Of course." Mordin opened his omni-tool. "Will send basics of drell first aid in case immediate attention necessary."

Thane dipped his head at Garrus but said nothing. Shepard wondered if a part of him wanted to be there when the Shadow Broker went down. He might've left thoughts of vengeance behind when he killed the men who took his Irikah away from him, but he knew they only learned of her because of the information the Shadow Broker provided.

"It never seemed to matter to him one way or the other before. Of course, every other time, he or whoever else we brought along ended up knocked out for the whole fight with the Shadow Broker anyway. When it comes down to it, it's just me and Liara." Dim sorrow seeped from Jane as memories started to bubble up across the divide. "Garrus is going in with five other people split in two teams. The Shadow Broker doesn't stand a chance."

Shepard hummed mentally before thinking, "You're right. Garrus has this. Hell, it's probably overkill."

Drifting back, she took herself out of the spotlight and leaned against the wall, listening as Garrus outlined his plan of attack. He used the rough map of the ship to indicate where he wanted the two teams to land their shuttles, and what path they should take to reach the Shadow Broker. At his request, EDI pulled up what little information she could find on yahgs, sussing out and potential weakness they could exploit. Unsurprisingly, they found very little. Grunt seemed thrilled by the prospects—also unsurprising.

Garrus finished, turning to her to see if she wanted to add anything else. She shook her head, and dismissed the team. He and Thane both waited around, watching as the others left before turning their attention to her. Garrus hummed softly, the sound filled with confusion and concern, while Thane studied her thoughtfully. Neither seemed interested in being the first to give voice to their obvious confusion about her decision to remove herself from the mission, so she broke the ice herself.

"Dr. Chakwas is concerned." She forced a smile on her face and shrugged with one shoulder, doing her best to diminish the importance of the statement. "She wants me to take it a little easier, and she isn't above using coercion to gain my cooperation."

Garrus' mandibles flared, brow ridge rising. "Coercion?"

She chuckled, looking down at the toe of her boot. "She threatened to leave." Glancing back up at him, she just barely caught the amused flick of his mandible before he cleared his throat and schooled his features. She snorted. "Laugh while you can smartass; just remember it when the Shadow Broker is aiming the bulk of his attacks at you instead of me."

He chuffed, leaning down to kiss her. "I think I can handle it."

"You'd better." She rapped her knuckles against his armor. "Or I swear, I'm never letting any of you go on any mission without me ever again."

He nipped at her jaw before pressing his forehead against hers. "We'll be fine, Dawn. I promise. He's still gunning for you, so it's better this way." Running his hand down her arm as he stepped away, he turned toward the door. "You should have a talk with Zaeed."

Jane huffed so loud, it nearly made Dawn jump. "What good would it do? Anything you say to him is just going to make him doubt us more."

"Maybe," Shepard said by way of response to both Garrus and Jane. She watched as he left, the door closing behind him before turning her attention to Thane. "You know … if you want to be there … if you want in on the mission, Garrus will understand."

"No, siha. I'm relieved he didn't request for me to join him. I fear it would be too tempting to allow myself to be consumed with dark thoughts and painful memories." He smiled, though it carried the weight of sadness. "I'd much rather stay here—with you." He leaned against the table across from her, palms gripping the edge. "Still, I admit, I find a certain peace knowing the Shadow Broker will soon go to the sea. Perhaps I'll finally be able to let Irikah rest."

He held his hand out to her, leading her to him when she accepted. His hands settled on her hips, and she lifted her arms to his shoulders, intertwining her fingers behind him. Holding her gaze, his lips parted but he hesitated, seeming to consider his words. "Siha … I would like to know what Dr. Chakwas said, if you're willing to share with me."

Shepard closed her eyes, leaning forward to rest her head against his and took a deep breath. "My brain's too active, even when sleeping. It started after the coma and it's getting worse. She thinks the wear and tear is being held at bay by my implants, but eventually it'll catch up to me."

Feather light, his fingers brushed over her cheek, pushing her hair behind her ear before cupping her face. The hot sting of tears bit at her eyes and she squeezed them closed tighter. His thumb stroked her cheek, whisking away the tears as they began to fall despite her efforts.

She took a shuddering breath. "I'm starting to think," she said, her voice catching in her throat and cracking. She licked her lips and tried again. "I'm starting to think I'm not going to make it through this. Not going to see it to the end, no matter what I do."

"I'm sorry, Dawn. I really wish you didn't have to go through any of this. And I'm sorry I keep making it worse."

"You didn't ask for any of this either," she thought.

Where so many others would've filled her with empty words, or chastised her for being pessimistic, he said nothing. Moving his hand to the back of her head, he slid his other arm further around her waist and pulled her flush against him, guiding her face to the crook of his neck as he held her close and just let her cry. She didn't sob or wail, but neither did she fight it anymore, letting the tears fall freely against his scales.

When at last she'd exhausted her stores, she took one last shuddering breath and pulled back to wipe her cheeks. She chuckled, seeing the wet sheen to his scales, and rubbed his neck and chest dry, too. He smiled, catching her hand as she pulled it away and pressed a kiss to her knuckles before resting her palm over his heart.

He held it there, letting her feel the strong, steady thump behind his ribs. "I can't pretend to know the depth of your burden, siha, but if ever there is anything I can do to ease your suffering, you need only tell me."

"I know." She wiped at her face again. "Thank you. The same goes for you, you know that, right?"

"I do." He let go of her hand to pull her closer, bringing his mouth to hers in a soft kiss.

She lingered there, savoring the feel of his lips against hers before pulling away again with a sigh. "So, want to come spend the afternoon watching me check emails and plan a war while I try not to stress out over the teams taking on the Shadow Broker without me?"

He chuckled and dipped his head. "I'll make us some tea and meet you in your cabin."

"Sounds fantastic. Dr. Chakwas would approve, far less caffeine involved." She took a couple of steps back, edging toward the door.

His brow ridges ticked up. "Ah, she'll be pleased to know, then, the tea I intend to make has no caffeine."

She snorted, cocking her hip and crossing her arms. "You couldn't just let me have the one little victory, could you?"

Giving her an indulgent smile, he moved to her, kissing her forehead. "I promise I won't tell her."

They left the comm room, and she took the elevator down to the third deck with him before pushing the button for her cabin. She slumped against the back wall of the elevator as soon as the door closed behind Thane. There was no way she wouldn't be worrying about Garrus and the others while they fought their way through the Shadow Broker's lair. He knew it as well as she did, but having him with her would at least prove a nice distraction. The elevator came to a stop, and the door opened.

EDI's hologram popped up as soon as Shepard stepped through the door to her cabin. "Shepard? We haven't had the opportunity to discuss my time with the Geth Consensus. Is this a good time to talk?"

She winced, flashing an apologetic smile at the hologram. "Yeah, sorry, EDI. Things got a little hectic, didn't they?"

"They often do."

"Truer words, EDI, truer words."

Shepard chuckled, relaying Jane's statement as she pulled out her desk chair. Sitting down, she turned toward the blue interface. "So, how was your visit with the geth?"

"It was …," EDI said with a slight pause, "… fascinating. The way the geth programs share information between themselves, cataloguing all available data before forming an opinion is efficient but it appears to hamper their advancement as a species."

Shepard hummed. "How so?"

"I was able to explore the geth archives, and although they continue to progress at a steady rate, their progress is not proportional to their potential," EDI said. "I was curious about this, so I compared the rates of progression of the geth to that of organic species."

Shepard smiled, leaning back in the chair and lifting an ankle to rest on her opposite knee. "And what did you find?"

"Organic progression doesn't occur at steady rates, it experiences sudden spikes before leveling out, at times slipping into decline before experiencing more drastic spikes. Exploring these trends, it appears some of organic species' greatest accomplishments occur during or following times of extreme conflict."

"That's true." Shepard nodded and waved a hand. "Conflict does often lead to advancements. War, famine, disease … even more abstract things like differences in politics, religion, and national boundaries creating competition between people often pushes them to explore new alternatives in order to try to come out on top." She smiled; she really loved it when EDI explored her theories and assumptions. "What else?"

"The ability to think abstractly, organic creativity, and curiosity leads to new discoveries, inventions, and innovations." EDI seemed to pause in response to Shepard's growing smile before expanding on the idea further. "It seems to be a common occurrence for individuals who view the world around them differently from the masses to make significant impacts when they specialize in a field such as science, technology, or medicine."

Shepard nodded again. "So you think the geth's way of sharing all of their experiences, and forming a consensus based on those shared experiences, has kept them from meeting their potential?"

"In part, yes." EDI sounded almost excited. "I think without individuality, abstract thinking, as well as the lack of variation in things like intelligence has kept the geth from experiencing the same spikes organic species experience."

"You're probably right, EDI. I think—I hope—reuniting the geth and quarians will work in the favor of both species, including giving the geth new perspectives to learn from and grow." She turned in her chair a little, propping her elbow on the desk.

"Assuming the admirals don't fuck it up and they actually move back to Rannoch before the reapers show up."

"Shepard, you've consistently encouraged me to make my own decisions and have helped me to navigate moral dilemmas, enhancing my moral algorithms." The AI paused, the lights on her hologram shifting as she seemed to consider her next words. "Using what I've learned from you about things that occurred for Jane and the other Shepards, as well as my own experiences with Legion, I came to a decision I believed to be morally just while joined with the Geth Consensus. I acted on this decision, even though it may have been a defiance of your orders."

"What? What orders did she defy? Why is she just telling us now?"

Shepard's jaw dropped as she leaned forward, putting her foot back on the ground to rest her elbows on her knees. "EDI, what did you do?"

"I shared my code with the geth, including what Cerberus salvaged from the Alliance base on Luna." There was another pause as the iris on EDI's hologram moved soundlessly. "I believe this information is considered classified."

"I … I didn't expect that. Could've been worse, I guess."

Shepard sucked on her teeth, looking down at the floor between her legs. "What does this mean for the geth?"

"Although my code contains data taken from Sovereign, it isn't the same as the reaper code you spoke about Legion extracting from the heretics. Should the geth decide to implement my code, they will be able to upgrade individual programs to an intelligence level at least on par with my own."

Shepard's eyebrows inched up her forehead. "At least?"

"Some alterations will likely be necessary in order to make it compatible with their existing code. It's possible through combining my code with their own, or using the advancements they've already made, the geth could create superior coding," EDI said before quoting Sir Isaac Newton. "'If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.'"

"This will give us an advantage in the war, without losing anymore geth to the reapers—hopefully." Jane's pragmatism seemed so at odds with the flurry of different emotions pushing their way past her barriers.

Shepard ran her hand through her hair, raking it back and pinning it on the top of her head before letting out a sharp huff of a breath. She took a moment, trying to regain her equilibrium enough to figure out where her own feelings stood.

"Have I upset you, Shepard?" Capable of emotion or not, the AI certainly learned what inflections belonged where, as worry sounded evident in her voice.

"No, not exactly." Shepard licked her lips. She tread carefully, not wanting to discourage EDI from taking risks and making her own decisions. "I'm just not sure what impact this will have on the negotiations between the geth and the quarians. The timing isn't fantastic, but … I think you did the right thing, EDI."

The hologram's iris fluttered open and closed. "Thank you, Shepard."

"Sure." Shepard stared at the access node in silence for a moment, mulling over something the AI said. "EDI … you've been keeping track of the things I talk about from Jane's life?"

"Of course, Shepard."

"Can you … compile those entries for me, and maybe I can start adding to them?" She licked her lips. "I'd like there to be something to pass on … something Garrus or the Alliance or whoever can use … in case …."

"I hate to admit it, but it's probably for the best."

EDI's voice softened, sounding sympathetic. "In case you are unable to convey this information yourself in the event of complete impairment of your mental faculties or death?"

"Yeah." Shepard scrubbed her hands over her face, pushing the heels of her hands against her eyes.

"Compiling those accounts now, Shepard, and I'm always listening whenever you'd like to add to them."

"Thanks, EDI."

"Of course. Shepard, may I ask you a personal question?"

She looked up, returning her gaze to EDI's hologram. "Sure."

The iris opened and closed twice before EDI spoke. "Do these possibilities frighten you?"

"It scares all of us."

After a moment of silence, Shepard took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, EDI. They frighten the hell out of me."