Chapter 50: Just Cruel
Shepard awoke to Miranda sitting across from her, one knee draped over the other, arms firmly crossed in front of her chest, staring at Shepard as if she were insulted the commander dared to be asleep.
"Well, that's not creepy." Shepard yawned, picking up Garrus' hand slung over her waist and carefully moving it aside so she wouldn't wake him. Sitting up, she stretched a little, testing the level of achy weakness remaining in her limbs, pleased to see much of it subsided. "What can I do for you, Miranda?"
"Mordin threatened to tranquilize me if I woke you up, despite the fact Dr. Chakwas officially released you from the med bay and I'm the XO of this ship." She tossed a glance over her shoulder at the offending salarian seated at Dr. Chakwas' desk. "I've been sitting here for the last hour waiting for you to wake up so I wouldn't miss you again. I have something important to discuss with you."
"Alright. Give me thirty minutes and I'll meet you in your quarters, unless you want to talk while I shower and eat?" Shepard smirked, expecting the operative to balk at the suggestion.
Instead, Miranda pursed her lips and seemed to consider the option. "Actually, it might not be a bad idea. You've been in bed for a couple of days, and you weren't moving very well on your own the last time you woke up."
"You're serious? You want to watch me shower?" Shepard opted for playful, taking a note out of James' playbook and waggling her eyebrows at the other woman. Thinking of the marine made her glance across the room to where she last saw him, but he was absent for the time being, his chair beside Kasumi's bed empty.
Miranda scoffed and waved a hand, standing up and pushing the chair back against the wall. "Please, Commander, I've already seen every inch of your body—inside and out."
Shepard shrugged, honestly not caring one way or the other, and slid off the bed. Miranda reached out, slipping a hand under Shepard's elbow to steady her. With her feet planted on the floor, she took a moment to evaluate her strength. Her knees felt steady, and she felt fairly certain she'd manage going up to her cabin to shower and change on her own, but she admitted she still felt weak enough for it to probably be a good idea Miranda wanted to accompany her—though she wasn't about to tell the operative so.
Nodding, she plastered a confident smile on her face. "I'm good." To prove it to herself as much as to Miranda, she tugged her arm free and crossed the floor to stand next to Mordin. Resting her hand on the salarian's shoulder, she jerked her head back towards the bed when he looked up at her. "If he wakes up while I'm gone, tell him I'll be back right back?"
"Unlikely to wake up anytime soon, but will relay message." Mordin nodded, turning his attention back to the datapad in his hand.
"Thanks, Mordin." She turned, meeting Miranda's gaze and headed for the door, her pace slow, but steady; the clacking of Miranda's heeled boots followed close behind. "I'm going to grab a protein bar to eat on the way up so my stomach doesn't get pissy while I'm in the shower. I'll eat something more after."
"Don't be surprised if the protein bar is all you can handle for the time being." Miranda stayed close by, shadowing Shepard as they made their way over to the mess counter.
Shepard waited until they stood in the elevator, her partial-breakfast unwrapped and half-eaten, before she met Miranda's gaze again and asked, "So, what's up?"
Leaning against the wall, still within easy reach, Miranda crossed her arms again. "I've created schematics for a new implant I believe will help to regulate the issues with your brain activity as well as …."
"As well as what?" Shepard asked, mumbling around a full mouth.
Miranda shifted her weight, standing up straighter, as if her entire body suddenly decided she'd just walked into a minefield, and she needed to watch her step. "As well as—I believe—help prevent Jane from seizing control."
Shepard's face froze, a million thoughts vying for her attention all at once. She felt Jane snap to attention in the back of her mind, a heavy sense of dread and hurt seeping through their connection. Was it even something she really wanted? Things had been going fairly well with Jane since the coma, and, heaven forbid, what if something happened where she needed Jane to take over again? The elevator slid open, and Shepard stepped out, still having not given Miranda any sort of response.
"You can't agree to this." Jane's pleading voice took on a manic tone. "Please don't do this to me. Don't cut out the only way I have to help you when things go to shit, Dawn. Don't force me to sit here helplessly while you die in the middle of a battle."
"Shepard?" Miranda's tone sounded cold and sharp with an edge of wariness.
"I'm—what if I'm not sure I want that?" Shepard stopped in the doorway to her cabin, turning to look at Miranda. "I mean … is there … I don't know, a way to set certain parameters for it? Maybe add an off switch?" She polished off her protein bar while Miranda watched her, eyebrow raised.
"Oh, gods, you're going to go through with this, aren't you?" Jane shifted around, her growing ire making Shepard want to squirm; an itch she couldn't reach to scratch. "What if it blocks me out completely? I won't even be able to talk to you."
Shepard thought, "I'm trying to find a compromise, and I don't think Miranda wants me to lose communication with you. If nothing else, you're a valuable asset in her eyes."
"An off switch? Seriously, Shepard?" Miranda shook her head, dismay tugging at the corners of her eyes. "I thought you'd leap at the chance to prevent further incidences with Jane?"
Shrugging, Shepard tossed the wrapper in the trash can next to her desk and headed for the bathroom. "Well, yeah, I don't like the idea of her seizing control against my will just whenever the mood strikes, but there's been times when her taking over saved my life." She turned on the shower before giving her attention back to Miranda. Pulling her hospital gown over her head, she said, "There may be times when I need her to take over, whether it's because I'm getting knocked unconscious, or I just need her to handle a situation she's more skilled at dealing with or something."
Miranda pursed her lips, seeming to consider this as she opened her omni-tool. Shepard didn't comment when the operative began scanning, she'd grown all too entirely use to the trio of 'doctors' invading her personal space whenever they got a wild hair up their asses. She finished undressing before holding her arms out to the sides, letting Miranda wrap up her scans. Shepard stuck her hand under the shower spray to test the temperature, turning the hot water up just a little higher before stepping inside the stall.
"I suppose you have a point." Miranda raised her voice to be heard over the water, and when Shepard glanced through the glass, she saw the other woman had turned to rest her hip against the edge of the sink, still working at her omni-tool. "I'll see what adjustments I can make to the schematics, but I'm afraid we'll need to return to the Lazarus Project lab in order for me to gather the necessary components. Which means …."
"No! I don't want to go back there." The emotions pouring off of Jane tilted more and more toward crazed panic. "If we go back there, there's no way I'm going to be able to stay calm, and that's what you want, right? To keep me calm? That lab is where it all happened …."
"Jane," Shepard thought, doing her best to give her words a soothing quality, "you've faced far worse in your life, and lived through it all again and again. Yes, the Lazarus Project sucked, a complete hell for you, but you're stronger than this. If I don't let Miranda help me, with what Dr. Chakwas said, I'm not going to make it to the end of this war. Hell, I might not make it to the collector base."
"Which means you'll need to talk to the Illusive Man first?" She asked, squeezing shampoo out into her hand before working it through her hair.
"Exactly."
"Well, he hasn't cut us off yet, and he still thinks he has the upperhand with me, so I don't think he'll tell you no." Shepard tilted her head back, rinsing her hair, the scent of the olive oil shampoo surrounding her, heavy in the steam. "You're still sending him reports, right?"
"Okay … fair enough, but what's happening to you now isn't about something I've done. It's not about me taking over. It's about you vampiring up the others."
Jane wasn't wrong, and Shepard knew it, but the thought of being forced inside with all of those heart-wrenching wails of agony and the insane chattering of the others made her blood run ice cold in her veins. If there was something Miranda could do to make sure it didn't happen at Jane's whim … well, she didn't feel inclined to tell the operative 'no'.
"Yes, but only the most basic reports. Which, of course, he isn't pleased with." After a moment, Miranda added, "I'm more concerned he'll want to know exactly what the new implants are for and possibly want to view the schematics himself before signing off on them."
Shepard took a deep breath, picking up the bottle of conditioner. "Well, he already knows about Jane. Whether or not he fully believes she exists, he received reports on her before I gave the order to unshackle EDI."
"If I admit these implants have anything to do with Jane, it will be as good as confirming her existence for him." The soft sound of Miranda's snort barely reached Shepard's ears. "God knows he'll want me to fully study Jane and decide what usefulness she can provide humanity. I don't want to think about what experiments or procedures he might ask me to perform."
"No. No, no, no. No more cutting and scraping. Oh, gods, the drilling and … no! You know what he'll do with us? He's going to turn us into a monster; strap us down someplace where we'll be indoctrinated while he rips out all of our organs and replaces them with reaper tech."
Shepard put her hands against the shower wall to brace herself, the flood of emotions coming from Jane and the others nearly enough to knock her off her feet in her already weakened state. She started taking deep, steady breaths, forcing herself to focus on the meditation exercises Thane taught her. Acknowledge and let go. Acknowledge and let go. Acknowle—Miranda ripped the shower door opened so fast, it slammed into the wall half a second before a foul smell assaulted Shepard's nostrils. Coughing, she turned her head away from the odor, gasping for a breath of clean air, but the smell followed her.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." Miranda's voice drifted on the edges of Shepard's consciousness. "That was foolish of me." She pressed a cool hand between Shepard's shoulder blades.
"Brainwave activity has stabilized." EDI's voice filled the bathroom.
"It's not going to matter soon, Miranda." Shepard nudged away the vial of smelling salts, turning her head to meet Miranda's gaze. "He'll be gone, and you'll be leading Cerberus. Unless you've changed your mind?"
"No, I'm committed to this course of action." The operative's brow creased, and she gave a decisive shake of her head. "I'm not entirely sure it's going to work the way we hope it will, but I'm determined to try. After everything I've seen so far, and everything you've told me is to come … how can I not?"
Shepard let the silence linger between them for a couple of seconds before nodding and waving the other woman away, reaching for the door to the shower stall to pull it closed behind her. As she rinsed the conditioner from her hair, she whispered an apology to Jane. What else could she really do? Jane didn't respond, devolving into a thick, nasty cloud of snarling fear and anger in the back of Shepard's mind.
Grabbing her washcloth, she squirted body wash on it and worked it into a lather. "So, assuming it all works out and we get the components you need, how long will it take you to put it all together?" She started with her face, squeezing her eyes closed as she scrubbed her skin clean.
"No more than a couple of days with Mordin's assistance, and then it should only take a few hours at most to perform the procedures and run the necessary tests to ensure they're working. It'll require you to spend—at the very least—twenty-four hours in the med bay to recover. I say 'at least', because I know you won't abide by the preferred forty-eight."
Shepard snorted, moving on to wash and rinse the rest of herself before turning off the shower. "Alright. If you can get permission, we'll head to the Lazarus station after we head back to the Shadow Broker's ship. I want to touch base with Grundan Krul, and speak with Feron myself." She opened the shower door, grabbing a towel and rubbing it over her head before wrapping it around herself and stepping out onto the mat. "How are the repairs coming on the Normandy?"
"We should be cleared for takeoff within two hours." Miranda's gaze swept over Shepard as she finished toweling herself dry. "I'm sorry, but I need to scan you again. How are you feeling?" Miranda opened her omni-tool without waiting for a response.
"Not horrible." Once the scan finished, she hung her towel up on the rack and slipped on her robe, moving to the sink to brush her teeth and hair.
Miranda scoffed, meeting Shepard's gaze in the foggy mirror and cocked an eyebrow.
"I'm not in any pain, but I do still feel a little worn out." Shepard jerked her shoulders in a quick shrug. "It's not too bad, though. I can march into battle if I need to, that's all that matters."
"Hardly." Miranda all but rolled her eyes. "Being able to march into battle and survive is what matters, Shepard. You're not just a marine, regardless of how you view yourself. It's not enough for you to fight in this war, the galaxy needs you to win this war."
Shepard held Miranda's gaze in the reflection for a minute. "I know. Trust me, gods do I know."
Miranda frowned and lowered her gaze. She didn't say anything else until Shepard finished in the bathroom and moved into her cabin to get dressed. "I'm sorry about Anderson, and I'm sorry the Council is full of idiots."
Shepard laughed, a sudden bark of a sound cutting off just as quickly as it started. "Yeah. Well, at least this time they're willing to admit—even if only informally—the reapers are real." She snapped her bra into place and stepped into a pair of panties, pulling them up over her hips. "I don't know what's going to happen to Anderson." She swallowed against the knot forming in her throat and took in a slow, deep breath to fight back the sting of tears biting at her eyes.
Sliding her shirt down over her head, she stuck her arms through the sleeves and tugged it down into place before pulling on her pants. "I can't let him stay on the Citadel forever, though." She picked up her socks and grabbed her boots before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Near the end of the war, the reapers hit the Citadel hard, killing everyone on the station and moving it to Earth space." She pulled on her socks and slipped her feet into her boots, bending over to tie the laces even as she looked up to meet Miranda's gaze. "That might happen even sooner now, if they know the Alliance has already located the plans for the Crucible and begun construction."
"Are you proposing we break the councilor out of prison?" The hint of a smile toyed with Miranda's mouth, one of her perfect eyebrows arching up toward her hairline.
Shepard smirked but didn't answer, standing up and making her way back to the bathroom instead. She hung up her robe before gathering her towel and the hospital gown, stuffing them through the laundry chute before making her way to the cabin door.
Miranda followed her out and into the elevator, crossing her arms over her chest. "Maybe now Grundan Krul has taken over being the Shadow Broker he can find a way to get Anderson released."
Shepard lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug and nodded. "It's worth a try."
Thane waited just outside the elevator on the third deck, his hands tucked behind his back, lips spread in a soft smile. Shepard lit up when she saw him, stepping off the elevator and into his arms. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she noticed Miranda wordlessly slinking off, apparently content to leave Shepard under Thane's watchful gaze.
She kissed him, soaking in the feel of his hands on her hips. "Hey, you. I hear I have you to thank for dragging the ground teams back to the Normandy. My hero."
He chuckled, a light raspy sound, making the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand on end in the most pleasant way. "Things were already wrapping up by the time we boarded the ship, really, it was little more than a matter of finding the teams and helping the wounded back to the shuttles." His hands slid around to the small of her back, easing her in a little closer to him. "How are you, siha? I came to sit with you, but each time you were sleeping."
"I'm feeling worn down, but better than I did the first time I woke up. Miranda just told me she's been working on schematics for more implants she thinks will help." She leaned her forehead against his and whispered, "Thank you for bringing Garrus back to me."
He lifted a hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing over her face. "How is he? I asked Dr. Chakwas, but she won't tell me anything. When I found them, Miranda was working to restart his heart."
She took in a long, steadying breath. "Not good. The doctor thinks he'll recover, but he may have some permanent neurological damage. Last I talked to her, she said it's still too soon to tell."
"Garrus is strong," Thane said, shifting to brush his lips across her forehead, "if there's even a chance he'll recover completely, I have faith he will."
Shepard pulled back to smile at him and kissed him again. "Thank you. I hope you're right. We've got a long, ugly road ahead of us, and I need him at my six."
He smiled at her, the same smile she remembered her father giving her once upon a time when she was being stubborn and foolish. "And, you love him. It pains you to see him suffering, and it'd tear you apart to lose him."
Tears welled up in her eyes and she blinked, doing her best to push them away. She didn't trust her voice not to crack, so she didn't speak, only nodding. He pulled her against his chest, his arms wrapping around her entirely, and she hid her face in the crook of his neck. A few moments, several shuddering breaths, and a handful of rogue tears later, she pulled back and wiped her eyes dry.
"Have you eaten?" His hand rubbed idle circles against her back.
"Just a protein bar on my way up to the cabin to get cleaned up." She sniffed, pulling in a calming breath. "I'll grab another one on my way back to the med bay, I don't want him to wake up while I'm gone."
"Go, sit with him." Thane tilted his head toward the med bay. "I'll bring you something to eat."
She nodded again and stepped back from him, letting her hands drag down his arms in her retreat, squeezing his fingers before she pulled away completely. She made her way back to the med bay, tension in her chest loosening the moment she laid eyes on the still-sleeping turian. In her absence, Dr. Chakwas replaced Mordin, and James returned, sitting once again at Kasumi's side. Dr. Chakwas smiled at her but didn't speak right away.
Shepard stopped next to the bed, hovering over Garrus for a moment. The way he lay left his neck and lower arm exposed, giving her a clear view of the lightning bolt shaped scars tracing over the exposed hide along his throat, the crease of his elbow, and down lower along his wrist and fingers. The scars, and the burns along the edges of his plates weren't as inflamed and faded from a dark, almost black shade of blue to a lighter, bruise-like hue. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his breathing strong and steady through his faint snore.
"Commander?" Dr. Chakwas called out to her, barely above a whisper, and waved Shepard over when she glanced up.
Shepard crossed the floor to lean her hip against the doctor's desk. She'd already begun feeling fatigued, body urging her to crawl back into bed next to Garrus, but she wasn't quite ready to lay down again.
Dr. Chakwas pushed away from the desk, turning her chair a little toward Shepard before leaning back. Keeping her voice low, she said, "Miranda sent me the scans she took before and after your shower. I'm very pleased to see the activity has decreased significantly, even under the duress Miranda said she caused, compared to when you first collapsed. How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm already tired of people asking me how I'm feeling." Shepard lifted a corner of her mouth, taking the bite out of her sarcasm.
Dr. Chakwas snorted and gave her a catty look, one only the doctor could get away with. "Well, perhaps you should hang a sign around your neck." The corners around her eyes softened and she studied Shepard for a moment. "You seem to be moving much better. Are you experiencing any pain or muscle weakness?"
"I'm not in any pain, but yeah, I still feel a little weak—and beyond all reason—tired." Shepard shook her head and sighed.
Dr. Chakwas nodded, seeming to accept Shepard's symptoms as par for the course. "Has Miranda spoken to you yet about the schematics she's working on?"
"Yeah, we just had that discussion." Shepard raked her fingers through her wet hair, swallowing back her fear of the whole thing causing Jane to regress. "She's going to make some adjustments and contact the Illusive Man to see if he'll sign off on her getting what she needs from the Lazarus lab."
"Good." Dr. Chakwas smiled and reached out, resting her hand on Shepard's forearm. "I'm glad to hear you're willing to work with her. I was afraid you might refuse after everything Jane experienced during the Lazarus Project. I hate to admit it, but Miranda can do far more for you than I can." She squeezed Shepard's arm before letting go. "Jane, how are you feeling about this development?"
"It doesn't really matter, does it? It's Dawn's body, and she's going to do whatever she wants with it, regardless of how I feel." Jane said, and Shepard repeated it for the doctor.
The med bay door opened and Thane stepped inside, carrying a covered tray. Shepard forced a smile on her face and held up a finger. He dipped his head to her, carrying the tray over to the bedside table, turning his back on her and the doctor; though Shepard knew he still heard them just fine.
Dr. Chakwas frowned, wise eyes studying Shepard. "I think it does matter. You might not be given the option of vetoing Dawn's choices, but I think your opinion is something we all wish to consider."
"Alright. My opinion is: going back to the Lazarus lab is unnecessary and guaranteed to put a serious strain on me when I'm already struggling like hell to keep it together." Jane geared up for a lengthy speech, and Shepard resigned herself to the task of acting as, what she liked to call 'Speaker for the Voices in My Head'. "I'm sure Miranda can find what she needs somewhere else, and she can find a way to do it without involving the Illusive Man, who, as she just so eloquently pointed out, will want to know what they're for—which will lead to him wanting to carve us up to see what makes us tick."
Shepard fought off a shudder, as she continued to give voice to Jane's words. "Even if Dawn is right and it won't matter much longer because he'll be out of the picture, we don't know what other power players there are in Cerberus, and what information they might glean about us before the Illusive Man is removed. It's dangerous. It's already dangerous he knows I exist, but at least his information is limited enough to leave room for speculation and doubt."
Jane paused, seeming to gather her thoughts and reign in her thundercloud of emotions, carefully walling them away before she spoke again. "I get we need something to keep Dawn's brain from burning out now that she's merged with some of the others or whatever, but … adding in something to cage me further is just cruel and proves nothing I do to try to make up for my past behavior will ever matter, and I'll never be able to win anyone's trust. Not really."
"I don't think your concerns about dealing with the Illusive Man or returning to the Lazarus lab are unwarranted." Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath, her shoulders pulling back as she nodded. "I'll speak with Miranda. Perhaps we can find a way around those two obstacles."
"I asked Miranda to add some way of still allowing Jane to take control under certain conditions, like when the blast knocked me out, or if I decide I need her to for some reason." Shepard shrugged. "I hoped Jane might see it as a compromise, and I think it's a rational decision, considering where I'd be if Jane hadn't kept my body going while I was comatose."
"I agree, Commander." Dr. Chakwas nodded. "And I'd like you to give some thought to the possibility of allowing Jane to come out—under controlled conditions—for short periods of time on a regular basis." She held up a hand when Shepard's jaw dropped. "I understand it forces you to endure a frightening, hostile environment while she's in control, but I'm not talking about days at a time. An hour or two, perhaps, once or twice a week. Consider it a pressure valve for Jane, something to help keep her level-headed and in control of herself. I think you'll find it'll benefit the both of you."
Hope and longing, so blindingly acute it hurt, flooded Shepard through the link she shared with Jane. The voice in her head didn't speak, though, her thoughts on the matter were more than clear. It was as if Jane held her breath, afraid to say anything at all, while Shepard weighed the doctor's words. It made sense, sure, Shepard saw that, but her skin crawled with just the phantom of the memory of those voices in the dark, desperate place hidden away in her mind.
She licked her lips, feeling as if she balanced on the precipice of a cliff. Jutting out over a canyon. Or running lava. Maybe a canyon filled with lava. "I—I'll give it some thought."
"That's all I ask." Dr. Chakwas smiled, glancing over her shoulder at Thane waiting patiently next to the tray. "Why don't you go ahead and eat, you need to build up your strength."
Shepard sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "I wanted to check in with Kasumi before I eat. After breakfast, I think I'm going to lay back down."
"Sounds good, Commander." Dr. Chakwas turned to her desk, resuming her work.
Shepard made her way over to the side of Kasumi's bed, doing her best to shove away the daunting ideas the doctor proposed, wanting to examine them at a later time; alone. She felt immense gratitude Jane remained silent on the topic, she didn't think she could deal with anything else just then. Stopping a couple of feet from James' chair. The marine flashed her a smile before turning his attention back to the woman laid out on the bed. Kasumi started to push herself up, but both James and Shepard urged her back down when she winced and groaned.
"Take it easy, lady. You've got one hell of a gut wound, and your leg's tore up pretty bad, too. You don't need to be trying to sit up just to talk to me." Shepard dropped her hand to Kasumi's knee when the thief nodded and settled back against her pillows. "You're looking a lot better, though. Not like you're knocking on Death's door." She shook her head. "You scared the shit out of me."
"You and me both, Commander." James glanced up at her again, and she swore he looked five years older than he did when she sent him down with Garrus and the others to take out the Shadow Broker.
"Dr. Chakwas said I'm not going to be able to join in on any missions for several weeks." Kasumi's lips pressed together in a tight line.
Shepard shrugged, brushing aside the statement. "Don't worry about it. You just worry about healing, alright?"
Kasumi's mouth relaxed a little and she nodded. "She also said she's taking the catheter out tomorrow and I'll have to start walking to the bathroom." Her upper lip twitched up beneath her nose, and her brow furrowed. "I'm starting to understand why you complain so much when you're in here."
Shepard heard a soft snort and barely suppressed chuckle coming from Dr. Chakwas' direction, but ignored it, instead focusing her smile on Kasumi. "She's a tyrant." She squeezed Kasumi's knee and patted James on the shoulder. "I've got to sit back down." They both nodded to her and she took a couple of steps away before turning back around to look at Kasumi, her dark hair framing her face, exposed, brown eyes sparkling in the light. "Hey Kasumi?" She waited for the other woman to look at her before grinning. "You're really pretty when you're not hiding under your hood."
Kasumi smiled, giving Shepard a flippant wave of her hand. "Yeah, but where's the mystique?"
Shepard chuckled and made her way back over to the bed she'd been sharing with Garrus. The turian still slept, though his breaths came a little lighter, and every so often he rumbled deep in his chest. She thought it must mean his painkillers were wearing off, but she knew Dr. Chakwas would be keeping an eye on when he could have another dose. Thane had taken up a chair next to her side of the bed.
She eased herself up on the edge of the bed, trying like hell to not wake Garrus. Thane stood and slid the table closer to her before tucking his hands behind his back, staying within easy whispering distance. She eyed the tray, noting he'd opted to bring her tea, fresh fruit, and what looked like cheese—no doubt both the fruit and cheese were recently acquired on Illium. She was glad to see Miranda thought to have the ship restocked while it underwent repairs.
Shepard ate maybe a quarter of what Thane brought her before letting go of a heavy sigh. "I'm not going to be able to finish all of this." She pouted her lips. "Normally, I'd eat this, the protein bar, and still have room for half a potroast. Thank whatever gods I don't need to use my biotics anytime real soon." She grinned when her theatrics earned her a light chuckle. After eating a few more bites, she nudged the tray a little closer to him. "You want this?"
He dipped his head, picking up her fork and spearing a piece of fruit. "You seem to be recovering well, perhaps your appetite will return soon, too."
Garrus groaned behind her, and Shepard twisted to look over her shoulder at him. His eyelids fluttered open, his gaze drifting until it locked on to hers. Clamping his jaw down on another groan, his mandibles pulled in tight. He shifted a little, moving off his side and more onto his back, working his arm out from under him to reach over and wrap his hand around her hip.
She smiled at him, turning a little more to lift a leg up on the mattress. "Hey, want me to call over Dr. Chakwas? Or throw food at her head?"
"I heard that." The sound of the doctor's chair sliding away from her desk accompanied her motherly retort.
Garrus chuffed, his mandibles flaring before snapping back down against his face. He brushed aside her questions, though, and asked his own, "You're still here?"
"Of course I am." She wrapped her fingers around his, holding them loosely in her hand before shrugging. "Well, I left to take a shower and put on some real clothes, but then I came right back."
"Good, you were starting to smell." His mandibles fluttered, but the spark of humor died in his eyes almost as soon as it flared to life.
She scoffed but smirked. Her attention turned to Dr. Chakwas as she appeared next to Garrus, omni-tool open and scanning. Scrutinizing the doctor's every expression, Shepard let a sigh of relief seep out of her, echoing what she saw in Dr. Chakwas' eyes. Garrus would pull through.
Dr. Chakwas smiled down at the turian before glancing up, gaze going straight to Thane. "Do you mind giving us a hand getting him to the restroom. I need to see how he walks, and be sure his kidneys are processing as they should."
"Of course." Thane set the fork down along the edge of the plate and started to move around the table.
"Hey, I got him, doc. I need to stretch my legs anyway," James said, drawing everyone's attention to him and stopping Thane in his tracks. Standing and making his way over, he looked at Thane before jerking his head toward Shepard. "Stay with her, she's starting to look like she might fall over again."
She narrowed her eyes to glare at James. "I do not."
He just chuckled, but a moment later Dr. Chakwas stepped around the bed to scan Shepard. She gave the doctor a trill of frustration and rolled her eyes, but let her get on with her scans.
Dr. Chakwas pursed her lips and closed her omni-tool. "Your activity levels are holding, for now. Still, lying down and resting isn't a bad idea. Especially if you intend to spend all of your time in here while Garrus sleeps anyway."
Shepard grunted noncommittally, already planning to lay back down and having already said as much to the doctor, but not wanting to make her job too easy. Dr. Chakwas cocked an eyebrow, but moved back over to unhook Garrus from all of the machines and help James get him on his feet. The doctor held back a couple of steps, watching Garrus' gait as he walked, and Shepard wondered if it didn't seem like he was listing to the side just a little.
Turning back to Thane, she caught him watching Garrus, too, his lips tugging down ever so slightly at the corners. After a moment, he returned his attention to her and his lips shifted upward as he picked up the fork again. Wrapping her palms around the cooling mug of tea, she lifted it to her mouth, breathing in the light, fruity scent before taking a swallow. She must've looked more exhausted than she realized, though, because a moment later he moved around the table to work the cup free from her hand and set it on the tray.
With gentle fingers, he coaxed her to lie back on the bed before pulling her boots from her feet, tucking them under the edge of the bed. He tugged the blankets up over her before perching next to her hip. Brushing still-damp hair out of her face, he leaned down. Her eyes fluttered closed when he kissed her, but when his lips disappeared, her eyes refused to open again.