Yey, I'm going home this weekend, I can finally ride my horses! Well, I'll ride them some, I have to really crack down and get some major work done for school, do I am afraid I am grounding myself from fanfic until I get what I need done. So I won't be posting until Monday...but I will be checking up on the site periodically so leave me something to read please! Make me happy when I am busting my butt over my papers and exams.

I don't own Lord of the Rings but I do own the banana nut granoa bar hanging out of my mouth! Mmmmm food!

The Reasoning of a King

They rode back in silence. They met the guards halfway there; they didn't look too happy, and continued on into quietness of the forest until they reached the stable. Thoughts, millions of them, tumbled around, all jumbled together, and swirled around in her head. Her mind was overwhelmed with everything going on in her life. She got through so far on her own and decidedly, she would do this by herself too; she felt she had no choice. She was always alone in this world, why would this be any different?

It was almost like watching herself as they rode up, watching herself in slow motion. She wished time could just halt, that she wasn't about to go back in there, but she knew she had to eventually, so, against her every wish, she would.

Each step was a mile, every second an hour, and her feet felt like that of lead, but finally she made it into his study. He motioned her to sit, Legolas at her side, and leaned forward intently, eager to hear what was to be said. He waited, but all he got was silence. Still he waited, but her mouth would not move. She knew not why she was so afraid, but she could not get herself to say what was to be said. Finally she spoke, breaking the silence with an overly distinct clearing of her throat. Embarrassed, she started over, clearing her throat more subtly this time before beginning.

"Sir, your Highness…Um, your Kingliness?" she was not off to a good start.

"How about just Sir for now, hmm?" he said half caring, trying to make her relax somewhat, at least to the point where she could talk.

She smiled meekly at him, but then jumped at the light touch of Legolas's hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and received a comforting look back from him. "Sir, I, I really do not know where to start, I don't even know what to say. I suppose that since I apparently have to start somewhere, the beginning would be good place to pick up." She was just rambling on now and she knew it. Stop killing time; you are only making this harder on yourself. She took a deep breath and held it, trying to compose herself for her third attempt. So she started explaining everything she had told Legolas by the waterfalls.

"Well now you know what happened to me when I was young, you have heard about my parents, and my upbringing and my eventual running away." He nodded in agreement before she continued. "I guess after all of that, I didn't trust people too much. I didn't see anything that I could get out of life, nothing that that was worth even living for. That is why, I surmise, that I ran away in the first place. Well, that and the obvious reasons of trying to get away from that torturous woman whom I was raised by."

She forced a smile, hoping to lighten the mood, mostly on her account then closed her eyes, trying to focus on what she was saying.

"As a young Elvin girl on my own, I really didn't have much. I soon learned that if I wanted something, that there were more than one ways to get it, and I usually ended up having to use the sneakiest way to get it, and remain unknown. The last horse I ever rode, other than today, was stolen. I was, I suppose, dangerous. I have never killed any townspeople, though, please don't misjudge me." She felt Legolas's glare on her, but what she said was true, she hadn't killed any townspeople. "But I have threatened to in the past. I don't talk to any one much, and even avoid some races altogether, orcs in particular, unless I am massacring them of course."

This time it was the king who smiled at this line. She however, she went as far as to give a little laugh. "You see I am rather handy with both the bow and the blade. But I am getting off course now. I only make dealings with others when I need something such as a new weapon that I can not fashion myself, or when I need to buy something that I can in no way steal undetected." She felt she was giving out to much information, at least to much information that could land her in a whole lot more trouble so she began to take it in a new direction.

She pursed her lips in thought. "You now know almost everything there is to know about me as a person." She cut him off before he could speak. "But I realize that I still have one important question to answer; what am I doing here, is that not what you were about to say?" He nodded his head once more "Yes, well, I don't think I could have really answered that before. But I believe that I can now…well, I hope that I can." She paused again. She really didn't know what she was doing.

"All of life, I kept myself separated from others. I had learned at an early age to distrust others, and to dislike them as well. Naturally I was still curious about the way people interact, wondering how they managed to get along when I didn't, and since I had nowhere in particular to go, I traveled, exploring all aspects of the land. I knew I didn't want to be around other people, yet I felt like something was missing in my life, something key, that last important clue to the mystery of life so to speak."

The king leaned forward intently again. She felt that he would fall off the chair had he leaned forward anymore. But she tried not to notice as she finished. "I needed to find that missing part in my life. I still need to find it. I want to know where I fit in this life, to know where I belong. I have searched all my life for that which I do not know." She looked down in her lap, unable to bear the kings piercing glance any longer. "I, I guess I thought that I might find it here, but I found nothing but a cage sir, and plenty of time to think. If that isn't adequate enough, then I am sorry, that is all I have…." The king cut her off before she could finish apologizing.

"Eriathwen, do you realize why I asked you that? Why I had you kept here?" he leaned back easily in his large oak chair. She shook her no and he continued. "I didn't think so. As a king, I have to know everything that goes on in my kingdom, but as curious as I was about you to keep you detained in the first place, I soon realized that it was you, not me, who needed to know why you were in Mirkwood wandering about. I could tell that you were lost. No not like that, I know you're in Mirkwood, you didn't know where in life you were. You had to help yourself more than anything."

She closed her eyes as she listened. "Do you understand now, that it was for you that you were kept here? That all you had to do was figure out exactly what just you told me, and help yourself? And you did. Now Eriathwen, I have one last question for you, what did you find? What did you really find?

Eriathwen took a deep breath and looked up, determined to look in his eyes in all sincerity as she said this, but it was still hard to face him. "Nothing sir, but a cage, as I have said, and an empty life. This was not what I was looking for in my life, for I could have had that anywhere."

He nodded and placed his hands on his desk. "Very well, you may go. Please, come back someday. Let me know if you need anything before you head out." He was done. He stood, walked to a small table and picked up a glass to pour himself a drink.

Eriathwen was frozen in place. The air had suddenly become heavy, and she couldn't breathe after what she had just heard. The touch of Legolas' hand on her arm brought her back.

"Eriathwen, are you ok?" all he got out of her was "I'm free…" he moved his hand up on her shoulder and walked her back to her room.