A/N: To avoid any confusion, yes, this chapter takes place during the events of the previous chapter.
Miranda
"I'm sorry, Miranda. I've given you all the help I can. The Alliance won't approve another joint mission to help you track down the Illusive Man again." Anderson let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. "You're on your own."
"Damn it." She pushed her hands into the comm room table, letting her head hang, hair forming a veil between her and the others watching her scramble to pull the pieces together.
They were so close. He was right there, how the bloody hell did they let him slip away again? And of course, Cerberus took Jack. Shepard would never trust her again. No wonder Shepard didn't ask her to lead the other team into the collector base. She might have the knowledge, the understanding, the tactics to lead a team, but the evidence indicated she utterly lacked the skill. She didn't possess that thing, whatever it was, that made people willing to follow her orders, even if it meant marching into hell itself. How in the world was she supposed to take over Cerberus? Clearly, Shepard made a mistake in choosing her for such a momentous task.
Straightening herself once more, she forced her face into the picture perfect example of calm confidence and smiled at the councilor. "I see, of course. Thank you, Councilor. I'll … contact the Shadow Broker and see if he can be of assistance."
"Mmm. Sounds like a good plan. Keep me updated?" Anderson arched an eyebrow.
She nodded. "I will."
What now? What the bloody hell do I do now?
Miranda let out a sigh when Anderson cut the call and turned to look at Jacob. "Get in touch with Grundan Krul. See if he's found anything on Jack, and see if he can figure out where the Illusive Man has gone to ground. We need to finish this and fast."
He gave her a curt nod. "You got it, I'll call as soon as the meeting's over."
"EDI?" She turned back to the table as the blue hologram replaced the screen.
"Yes, Miranda?" EDI's tone sounded sedate, lacking the friendly, warm edge her programmers gave her to help put people at ease.
Miranda fought the urge to frown and turned, pressing her hip against the edge of the table. She knew the loss of Joker troubled EDI, but she didn't suspect the depth of the issue until Tali told her of the conversation between the two of them about EDI's development and subsequent rejection of emotion. It left Miranda feeling unnerved around the unshackled AI, but so far, EDI still seemed intent on helping, and Shepard trusted EDI.
She let out a sigh. "Help Jacob and Grundan Krul, see if you can extrapolate the Illusive Man's location through the Charon Relay's logs."
"As you wish," EDI's iris fluttered open and closed as she spoke before the hologram collapsed, disappearing from sight.
Miranda let out a soft huff and turned her attention to the two quarians standing off to her left. "Tali, Kal, I want you to—"
"Forgive the interruption," Kal said, tucking his hands behind his back, "but we've been talking, and Tali and I believe it's time we return to Rannoch. I'm sorry, we want to help, but our people need us."
A knot formed in Miranda's throat, her stomach dropping down into her boots. "I see." She glanced at Lia, and the young quarian's nervous fidgeting told her all she needed to know. "I suppose Lia and Legion will be returning with you?"
"Yes, ma'am." Kal nodded his head.
Miranda glanced down at the floor, sucking on her teeth and shook her head. "I can't deviate from course to take you to Rannoch, but if we find the Illusive Man has gone somewhere in line with the Migrant Fleet, perhaps we can make a short detour."
"No need," Kal said, bringing Miranda's gaze back to him. "I've secured us passage on a ship leaving from Earth. It seems Councilor Anderson has worked out an agreement with Admiral Zaal'Koris to provide aid in establishing a trade route to Rannoch and non-perishable supplies are being sent over. Give us an hour and lend us use of a shuttle back to the planet's surface and we'll be out of your way."
Damn it.
Miranda sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "Of course." She sincerely hoped Grundan Krul would find the Illusive Man and be willing to help fill in their ranks when she went after him again. She'd speak to Jacob about it privately, after the meeting, where the others wouldn't hear her desperation.
Grunt shrugged when she glanced at him. "I don't have anything better to do."
She smiled, grateful for the krogan and his propensity towards the option leading to violence.
Miranda let out a frustrated growl, tossing the datapad onto her desk. Jacob watched her, an infuriating smirk on his face. She snorted, rolling her eyes and continued to pace.
"Sit down, Miranda." Jacob chuckled and crossed his arms. "You're not doing anyone any good wearing a hole through the deck."
"EDI caught Sanders and Kellerman attempting to sabotage the ship's drive core. Tali and the others are leaving. Jack's been kidnapped. Shepard's gone insane." She huffed, rolling her eyes again, catching sight of Jacob giving her the stink-eye. "Oh, don't look at me like that, I know she's not truly insane, but she might as well be for as much good as she's able to do right now. This entire mission is in shambles. Tell me, what am I supposed to do?"
He raised his eyebrow, moving to intercept her and took her by the shoulders. "Sit. Down." Guiding her over to the chairs by the window, he gently pushed her down into one. "Breathe. Just take five minutes and breathe." He moved behind her, kneading at the tight muscles of her neck and shoulders.
She moaned, tucking her chin in against her chest as he worked. She'd forgotten how good he was at helping her to destress, hands warm and strong going straight for the places she carried the most tension. It wasn't the only thing he was good at with his hands either if she recalled. She groaned, half to chase the thought from her head and half in appreciation for the massage.
He chuckled, moving her hair aside. "We've got this, alright? We'll figure it out. We'll get the Illusive Man and get you set up to take over."
"I hate him." She sighed, the motion leaving her feeling deflated and empty. "How could he work with my father, after everything? I've been a blind fool. The things he's done … he's monstrous. How did I ever put my faith in him, in Cerberus?"
"You thought you were doing something good, just like the rest of us." Jacob stopped rubbing for a second, and she tilted her head back to rest against his stomach, looking up at him. He shrugged and started massaging again. "Well, at least some of us."
"Why are you still here with me, Jacob?" she asked, barely above a whisper despite there being no one else around.
He smiled down at her, the deep pressure of his thumbs softening into gentle caresses for a moment. "Where else would I go?"
Maybe it was just the stress of the situation getting to her, but his loyalty struck a chord, making her question why exactly things didn't work out between them in the past. He was a good man, perhaps better than she deserved … but it didn't change the fact he wanted to have a family someday, and that was something she could never give him. Instead of telling him as much, she'd put distance between them, ridiculed him, made him feel incompetent until finally, he ended their relationship. She regretted it, regretted so much.
"Jacob, there's something I need to tell you." She sucked in a deep breath, using it to slip a little steel in her spine; she needed all the courage she could get. "Something I should've told you long ago."
He raised an eyebrow in question, stopping his work on her neck and shoulders. She turned, letting his hands slip away from her, and she waved at the other chair. She fought the urge to cringe away from the look on his face, the same, closed-off, armored look of a man ready to go into battle he wore so often towards the end of their relationship. He watched her in silence while she gathered her thoughts.
She sucked in another deep breath, trying to find the right words. "I long suspected, but I know for certain now … I can't have children."
Jacob blinked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He watched her for a moment in silence, his lips parted but nothing coming out. Finally, he blew out a heavy breath and shook his head. "Damn. I'm sorry to hear that. Do you know why?"
"I have a benign neoplasm—the start of a tumor, or tumors—which has made it impossible for me to conceive." She swallowed and looked out the window, speaking the words out loud bringing her a whole new, fresh wave of pain. She should already have come to terms with her infertility, but somehow, the hole it left in her never shrank. "The doctors weren't able to say whether or not for certain it's caused because of my genetic tailoring, but I know it is."
"I'm sorry, Miranda." And he did sound sorry. "But why tell me? Why now?"
She turned her attention back to him and gave him a wry smile. "You wanted a family. I knew I couldn't give you one, and I hated myself for it, so I pushed you away. You deserve to know why I was so terrible to you."
He lowered his gaze, rubbing his hand over his head. "I wish you would've told me then. I was falling for you, hard. If we'd stayed together, if things worked out like that for us, we could've found a way to make a family work. If that's what you wanted, too. Instead, you just …."
She leaned over, reaching out and settling a hand on his knee. "I know, and I'm sorry, Jacob."
His gaze snagged on her hand for a second before meeting her gaze, something cold and detached staring back at her from his eyes. "Whatever. It's in the past. I mean, I'm glad you finally told me, but we can't change what's already happened, right?"
"Right …." She pulled her hand away, moving it into her lap, a new crack forming in her heart.
"What the hell do you mean you lost Jack?" Garrus growled, leaning into the camera, mandibles tight against his face. "Better yet, why am I learning this from Grundan Krul instead of you?"
Miranda fought back the urge to flinch in the face of the turian's rage. Instead, she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. "I felt it was important for us to make every effort to reclaim her before informing you, because, obviously, it would upset you and Shepard might pick up on that. We can't risk anything interfering with her recovery right now, Garrus."
He growled again, low and threatening. "You better pray to whatever god you believe in that I get to her in time, Miranda. Because I swear by the Spirits, if she's … if she's dead—"
"Garrus," Thane said, settling a hand on his shoulder.
Garrus jerked away and turned, storming off out of sight.
Thane blinked and tucked his hands behind his back. "There is something we wished to pass on to you, on behalf of Shepard."
"What is it?" Miranda arched an eyebrow. "Has her condition changed? It's been a couple of days since I've spoken to Dr. Chakwas."
"No—not exactly." Thane glanced down for a moment before shifting and meeting Miranda's gaze again. "We were able to make contact with Jane, however, and she shared with us some rather disturbing possibilities Shepard has been thinking on."
"Oh good, the implant is functioning properly." She crossed her arms over her chest, dropping her weight to one hip. "Still, I should call Dr. Chakwas and have her run a few specs scans."
"Indeed." He brought a fist to his mouth and cleared his throat, shifting a little more. "I suspect EDI may have more information on the matter, but you undoubtedly recall Shepard's discussion of the AI the leviathans created, the one who in turn created the reapers, the Intelligence as she called it."
Miranda arched an eyebrow, confused by the direction of the conversation. "Of course."
"Shepard is concerned it may be capable of monitoring people on the Citadel." He waved a hand before bringing his palm to his chest, pressing against his sternum before dropping his hand from sight once again. "Capable of listening to conversations spoken aloud, intercepting anything written in a digital format, digital transmissions, perhaps even able to view the smallest of details through security features on the Citadel."
The blood drained from her face as she considered the implications. If the Intelligence had that level of control, that level of awareness, then it had to already know what plans were set in place to stop the reapers. It had to already know about the Crucible plans, about what pathetic little the Council was doing to prepare ….
"As Jane mentioned, Shepard already has the notice of the one called Harbinger." Thane's gaze shifted, looking around him as he took in a deep breath, shoulders lifting and shifting back. "Undoubtedly the Citadel is a prime location for indoctrinated individuals. She suspects the AI may be monitoring her, in specific. If this is the case, if the Intelligence is aware of her and perceives her as a threat …."
Jesus Christ.
Dropping her hands to the table's surface, she leaned a little closer to the screen, fear turning her blood to ice in her veins. "Then the Citadel is the last place in the galaxy she should be."
He dipped his head. "Precisely."
This can't be happening.
She blinked a few times, mind reeling as she tried to consider the best course of action. She had to keep Shepard safe; even if Shepard wasn't exactly in a position to lead them in war, the commander still knew more about the reapers and what was to come than anyone else. And … Miranda realized she cared about the woman—Shepard was her friend. "Has anyone spoken to Anderson about this?"
"We don't see a way to have this discussion with him without the Intelligence being aware. If it is as advanced as Shepard makes it seem, our best attempts at encryption would prove utterly pointless, and if he decides to move her, the indoctrinated may intervene and attack." Thane brought his hand back to his chest, rubbing his palm against his sternum. "Shepard is becoming restless, distraught. She's begun lashing out at the people around her, even those she knows and trusts. She injured James and broke the arm of a marine guarding her door. She's been saying she wants to leave the Citadel and is frustrated that we're not doing as she asks."
Miranda sucked in a deep breath, the problems piling up settling a heavy weight over her shoulders. "Cerberus has a drug capable of suppressing biotics, maybe if we—"
"No." Garrus' voice came from somewhere off-screen. "You're talking about Omega-Enkaphalin, Jack told me all about it." He moved back into sight, mandibles flicking in clear agitation. "About the permanent damage it can cause and the way Cerberus experimented on your own operatives to build a resistance to the drug. How you surgically altered her to make her resistant."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes, finding it harder and harder to not snap at the turian. Her patience was running thin. "I wasn't involved in that project, Garrus. That being said, after Shepard unshackled EDI, she gained access to Cerberus' records, and one of the things she learned is that Cerberus has since modified O-E. It no longer causes damage, of any sorts, and it's highly effective."
"Regardless," Thane said, holding up a hand to silence them both, "I don't believe suppressing Shepard's biotics would be wise. Other than her hand to hand skills, it is the only method of defending herself she has right now, and as we just discussed, she very well may be surrounded by enemies."
"Then what do you propose?" she asked. She crossed her arms again, leaning her weight back on one hip.
"I think we should attempt to locate this AI," Thane said, dipping his head. "Discreetly, of course."
Miranda arched an eyebrow. It was an interesting idea, but how would they even go about it? Shepard said the Citadel moved, rearranged itself during the final battle, she couldn't tell anyone where exactly the Intelligence was located. The Council wouldn't simply allow a full-scale search, they'd have to cover every area of the Citadel, including the embassies and the Council Chambers. Not to mention, if the Intelligence was watching, it'd certainly take notice of something so obviously out of place.
She waved a hand, inviting Thane to continue. "And then?"
"We destroy it." Garrus sliced the air with a hand. "Obviously."
"That would be unwise," EDI's voice filled the comm room.
"Why would it be unwise?" Garrus asked, flaring his mandibles.
"Shepard has made it very clear that the Intelligence controls the reapers, and should she be unable to find an alternative before it's too late," EDI said and then paused for just a second, as if giving them the opportunity to follow her train of thought, "the Intelligence, as the Catalyst, is vital in her ability to stop the reapers and end the war. If we destroy the Intelligence now, we can't know what effect it will have on the reapers, or if the Crucible will still work without the Catalyst."
"Damn." Garrus looked down, shaking his head.
They all knew the Crucible was a last resort, something Shepard wished to avoid using if at all possible. According to her, if they used the Crucible, it'd destroy all of the mass relays, cutting everyone off from each other, effectively destroying galactic civilization. She never made the specifics clear, but she implied it was possible for the Crucible to even destroy all sorts of other pieces of advanced technology … including EDI and the geth. And, if Shepard was right, there was a chance the Crucible was responsible for her unique circumstances, somehow forcing her to repeat the war over and over again. Yet, they all knew, if it came down to it, if it meant the reapers or the galaxy, Shepard wouldn't hesitate to pull that trigger.
"Perhaps there's another option," someone else said, though Miranda couldn't see who.
Garrus turned his attention off-screen. "What are you thinking?"
A moment later, he nodded, stepping back to allow room for whoever it was. A drell—Miranda recognized as Feron—stepped into view, bowing his head to her. Thane took a couple of steps back, tucking his hands behind his back and watched the other drell, expression utterly passive.
"Feron," she said, nodding her head in acknowledgment. "You have an idea on the matter?"
"Perhaps it is unwise, as … EDI suggested, to destroy the Intelligence, but I agree with Thane," Feron said, glancing over his shoulder at Thane, "we should certainly try to locate it." He turned his attention back to Miranda. "If we can locate it, we can monitor its signals, perhaps interrupt them somehow, or even send false signals to the reapers instead."
"EDI?" Miranda arched an eyebrow.
"It's feasible, with the right equipment," EDI said, and Miranda thought she caught the hint of intrigue in the AI's voice. "However, I should point out that it is also possible to speak with the Intelligence, should we locate it. Perhaps it can be reasoned with, or at the very least, new information may be discovered."
Feron lifted one corner of his mouth in a smile. "It is certainly something to consider."
Miranda looked up as her door slid open, and Kelly stepped inside. She raised an eyebrow, minimizing the files on her computer. She knew Shepard said Kelly would eventually see the truth of the Illusive Man and leave Cerberus, but with so much changed, who knew where exactly it left the yeoman. Miranda didn't see any reason to trust her, not really, not yet. "Kelly, what can I do for you?"
Kelly stopped just inside, leaving enough room for the doors to slide closed behind her. She brought her hands up in front of her abdomen, wringing her fingers as she studied Miranda, nibbling on the corner of her lip. "The … the Illusive Man contacted me."
Miranda schooled her expression, turning her chair a little more towards Kelly. "I suppose he knows by now that his little pet, Kai Leng, failed; I'm still alive. I assume you told him I'm still looking for him."
Kelly looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry, Miranda. I had to tell him something." She raised her head, meeting Miranda's gaze again. "But … I told him we're heading to the Citadel to regroup."
Miranda arched an eyebrow, they weren't going anywhere near the Citadel, and Kelly knew it. EDI told her they lost the Illusive Man's trail in the Terminus. They were headed for Omega, hoping Shepard built up enough favor in Aria's eyes that the self-proclaimed queen might be willing to share a bit of information with Miranda to aid in her hunt.
"I believe in Cerberus. What Cerberus is supposed to be. The Illusive Man … I don't … I don't like the idea of hunting the Illusive Man down and killing him. But … he's turned Cerberus into something it was never meant to be."
Pursing her lips a little, Miranda narrowed her eyes and studied the other woman. "What are you saying, Kelly?"
Kelly took a couple of steps closer, shoving her hands down to her side and lifted her chin. "I want to see Cerberus become what it's meant to be. I want to help you replace the Illusive Man."
Miranda leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other and lacing her fingers together over her stomach. "No offense, Kelly, but why should I believe you?"
Watching Jacob as he worked on cleaning and reassembling his weapons, Miranda crossed her arms and rested her ass on his workbench. "Do you think we should trust her? Shepard said she'd eventually turn against Cerberus."
Jacob glanced up at her before turning his attention back to the parts spread out over his bench. "Kelly's a good woman. If she says she wants to help, I believe her."
She let out a sigh, tapping her nails against the leather of her sleeve. "You're right. God, this whole thing is making me paranoid." She brought her hand to her face, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't think I can do this, Jacob."
He let out a soft chuckle. "Yes you can, Miranda. As long as I've known you, I've never seen you let anything or anyone stand in your way." He turned, leaning his hip against the table when she looked at him again. "You're just scared because you don't have anyone here telling you what to do. Your dad. The Illusive Man. Shepard. You're too used to taking orders, but you don't need them."
She scoffed. "Apparently, I do."
"No, you don't." He moved a little closer to her, settling a hand down on her shoulder and squeezed. "You really don't. I wish you could see yourself the way I do, the way everyone else does. You're strong, Miranda, and you're damn smart. And I know you think that comes from your genetics, but that's nothing but potential. You developed that potential, not your father."
Biting her lip, she turned to face him fully, the movement leaving so little space between the two of them. His eyes widened, but he didn't step back, and that gave her the courage she needed. Wrapping her hand around his neck, she leaned in, tugging his lower lip between hers in a kiss. Retreating, she met his gaze, finding confusion and doubt in his brown eyes. She sighed, dropping her hand and stepping away, but she refused to apologize. He stopped her, though, tugging her back to him, and his mouth crushed down on hers, tongue hot and hungry as it pushed its way past her lips. His hands moved over her, tracing her hips and ribs, pulling her in closer. She ran her hands over his chest, curling her fingers in against the fabric, before wrapping them around his neck, pushing herself against him in demand as fire flooded her veins.
Breaking away from him to suck in a gasp of air, she said, "EDI, lock the armory doors."