Everybody Everybody Chapter 5: Smile, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh characters.

Warnings: This will get very angsty in later chapters, sometimes gory so this is not for the faint of heart. Also, this is AU. (My first AU story, wee!)

Her Sweetness: Alright guys, the chapter's late and I'm sorry. To make up for it, I tried really hard to make it interesting and it's long so let's give it a chance, shall we?

— Everybody, Everybody —

Chapter Five

Ryou Bakura came to school all that week. It was strange at first, Marik thought, because he never saw Ryou Bakura in homeroom. Everyday that week he came in late, just a little before lunchtime. Marik Ishtar missed seeing his back in their first period class and he missed getting that note everyday, redundant in it's main point but wonderful all the same: Same table, alright? And that same answer he wrote down, day after day: Okay. Funny that he never wrote down everything he wanted to say.

But the weather was tricky that week. Being in the middle of November, the soft winds and butterscotch skies of autumn were failing, and the dark skies and frigid, lashing winds of winter were becoming more frequent. But Ryou Bakura always found it necessary to sit outside, still at the picnic tables, even if there was a biting wind about. But Marik Ishtar never objected and found that he loved seeing the wind jostle Ryou's hair and watching him try to pat it back down. But nothing was ever the same with Ryou Bakura and that was another thing Marik found that he liked about the boy.

Not just the hair but his moods as well. As the week progressed, Marik noticed that Ryou's moods changed. He could be smiling and laughing one minute and then solemn and on the verge of tears the next. The tears, Marik thought, probably were a result of how he felt after he earned his grades with the teachers. Marik could not help the feeling of wanting to hold Ryou's hand in his, swing it and tell that beautiful boy what he truly felt. Stop doing this, Ryou Bakura, stop hurting yourself.

But over those next few days, Marik Ishtar found out quite a bit about Ryou Bakura and he knew what he might say.

Haven't been hurt yet. Don't worry about me, he would say with a smile. Damn that beautiful, broken smile. Marik could see it cracking under the weight of that haunted face. Stunning brown eyes closed, mouth curved and those perfect pink lips. Marik could've sworn that on that first day, he'd witnessed a small spot of Mr. Pearson's semen on Ryou Bakura's lips. He resisted the urge to lick it off.

Marik Ishtar resisted many urges in the company of Ryou. He was so fragile, seemed liable to break if Marik even breathed wrong. What is someone to do when around a thing like that? A fragile entity that you find yourself wanting to be a bit rough with? Marik did not know and was almost at wit's end when he arrived home after the school day and barely made it to the bathroom. Nights were the worst, he determined. Home, period, was the worst. Before he began to spend time with Ryou Bakura, going home alone, eating alone and speaking to himself was just routine.

But now when he went home, something happened. A strange feeling that he was not familiar with. Then he realized that he missed Ryou. So he made it a point to try and dull that feeling. When he came home, Ryou Bakura appeared in front of him. That boy looked so wonderful on the dingy, old couch in the middle of the tiny living room. Dusk filtered through the blinds in the small kitchen and the entire apartment seemed so lonely but that was before Ryou Bakura came over.

In Marik Ishtar's imagination, Ryou would sit on the couch and listen as he told him everything he felt was important. He told him about the dream he'd had the night after they bumped into each other in the hallway. Ryou sat there, hands clasped together in his lap as he regarded Marik with a curious expression, brown eyes always bright and alert, the dusky sun making no difference in their brilliance.

"And you said you were in love with me." Marik finished, not feeling the same nervousness he felt with Ryou Bakura during school hours. He wondered why that was. Maybe it was because this Ryou Bakura never gave him that smile. That arrangement of features that held too much sweetness for Marik to handle. Too much sadness. That smile made Marik feel small. As if he were unable to help Ryou with whatever he might be going through.

This Ryou Bakura did not smile.

After Marik had said his piece to the glorious thing beside him, that Ryou said nothing. He simply continued in his questioning glance.

Why am I here? Marik thinks he would like to say.

Marik answers himself. "I miss Ryou Bakura," He said and then was caught off-guard by his own voice. He did not expect to sound so sad. But that was how he felt. Had to get his feelings out, if only to this fake Ryou Bakura. "I miss Ryou Bakura, that's how I feel. I miss him."

Why?

His own lips moved and the fake Ryou Bakura kept his expression placid.

Marik thought for a moment and his feeling worsened. He closed his eyes, opened them and was alone again. He did not miss the fake Ryou Bakura.

Friday morning, Ryou Bakura's eyes open again and the world is alive. It's strange how when your eyes close, the world stops spinning, only for you to wake again and there everything is, has been, and will be, only for you. Feeling his brother's arms wrapped around his waist, a smile was first to come to Ryou's lips and the world began to sing. The chest that moved rhythmically behind his stopped as soon as Ryou started to stir.

"Stop," Was the blunt command that came from his brother's lips. He grumbled the word and wrapped his arms tighter around the frail body, nuzzling his face into the silver hair. "Stop all that moving, I'm trying to sleep…"

"It's six o' clock, 'Kura and you know I'm leaving at nine to make it in time for lunch." Ryou looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. He said with a smile, "You have three hours, better make it last."

Ryou would've denied admitting it, but he was startled when the two arms identical to his pulled him under the sea of blue comforters. He'd found out a while back that it was fun to drown with Bakura.

"Marik, do you think you could wait for me after school?"

The courtyard during the first lunch, wind was whipping through the tired trees and branches fell to the ground, battered and beaten, lying beneath the picnic tables. The one closet to the large oak tree, that was the one where Ryou Bakura and Marik Ishtar were seated. As usual, Marik sitting on the bench, hands either clasped on the table or settled in his lap while Ryou sat on the tabletop, hands propping him up, shoulders back and cherry lips forcing Marik to cross his legs.

He looked away from the ground, blinking up at that pale face. Responding to Marik's not saying anything, Ryou let his shoulders droop a little. "I-If you don't, that's alright, I—"

"No, I do," He said hurriedly, as if this would be his only chance. "Just a little shocked is all…"

"Well you don't have to be shocked." Ryou narrowed his eyes mischievously, leaning in and resting his forearms on his knees. "I know you ride the bus home, so I didn't think you would be willing to miss it. But we could walk together, if you want. Though our houses are a little far apart." He was talking as if he were the only one around, reasoning with himself about one thing or another, contradicting himself.

Marik shook his head lightly, still a little surprised. He made an attempt to sound like a normal teenager. "That's alright. I'm really in no hurry to get home anyway, I-I have to study for some math test."

"Really," Ryou said, mind somewhere else for the moment. He came back a second later, regarding Marik with a sudden interest. "Wait, you mean Mrs. Olsen's math test?"

He nodded, yes.

Ryou leant back again. "I have that same one, my fifth period. I hate that class, I always get Fs…" A beat of thought before continuing. Marik Ishtar knew his secret already, he said he was okay with it. Why shouldn't I be able to speak with him about it? Ryou thought. "Mrs. Olsen. She's married, two kids and all. I can't work with her like some of the others, found that out the hard way."

A lightning strike of shock in lavender orbs. Marik's eyes dropped to the floor and his thumbs rubbed up against each other.

"I'm sorry," Ryou said, immediately realizing his mistake. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound… like a whore. It just… comes out sometimes and it's always around you. My brother—Bakura—he doesn't like to hear about it… And no one else knows and then you came along and… and I'm sorry."

Marik fumbled for something coherent to say, something that would neither make Ryou Bakura turn away nor give him that smile. A few seconds passed and Ryou's warm cocoa eyes turned a little cooler, he looked to the side, a forlorn expression on his face. The air was silent and the wind blew again, somewhat gentler than before and Ryou didn't bother to pat down his hair. Chocolate orbs were shaking and Marik took in this vision of weakness in front of him.

Somehow, and he wasn't exactly sure why but somehow, this felt good. Seeing Ryou Bakura as he truly is, a fragile figure in need of help. His arms shivering in the wind despite his sweater and the reddening of his cheeks as the wind whipped against them. Marik was forced to resist another urge and he resisted it well but he found that there was a flip side to this wonderful, dizzy feeing he was getting. Someone to protect Ryou Bakura, someone to love him.

That could be me, he thought. Why couldn't it be me to love him?

He pondered this and continued to stare at the boy, not realizing that Ryou's eyes were no longer tossed to the side but were flickering back and forth between Marik and the tabletop. The question that was forming in his eyes went unnoticed by the tanned teen sitting next to him who scrutinized every part of him. Ryou Bakura's cheeks grew redder.

Poor thing, they each thought.

Ryou, getting more uncomfortable with the lavender eyes running down his body and the silence pushing down on him, decided to tread in the deep water. "Hey, I've got an idea," He said light-heartedly, swinging his legs back and forth from the tabletop. "Since we've both got the same test tomorrow, why don't we study together?"

Marik Ishtar's eyes must've enlarged because Ryou laughed. "Stop acting like you don't expect me to say these things. We are friends, after all."

Are we? He wanted to ask but instead found something less pathetic to say. "I-I know, I just… Tonight?"

"Well the test is tomorrow, so it would benefit us to do it tonight."

Ryou clearly had the upper hand in the conversation once again and Marik tried his best not to sound so dumbfounded even though that was his feeling at the moment. He smiled sheepishly. "I know… So, um, your house?"

There was a second when Ryou didn't say anything and suddenly shook his head. "No, that's no good. They're renovating at my house. It'd be too loud for us to concentrate, let's do it at your house."

Different feelings flooded Marik's body then, all of them rushing to his head, a dizzy sensation accompanying them. He hadn't a lot of time to sort them out but the strongest feeling he recognized as happiness. A sort of near-giddy smile came to his lips and he was quick to hide it when Ryou busted into tiny giggles and Marik's face reddened as he turned away.

"I-I'm sorry, Marik," Ryou stifled the rest of the giggles, saving them for a time when he would be lonely and sad and he would be able to look back on this. "I didn't mean to laugh but… It's just so refreshing."

He looked up guiltily. "What is?" He mumbled.

"Just… how you are. How you wear your emotions on your sleeves. That's why I don't think you could have a secret, Marik, if you did, it wouldn't be a secret for long." Ryou shrugged and his voice waded through a bit of wistfulness as he continued. "No matter what you're feeling, you show it and I like that. Marik, you're… you're very cute, Marik Ishtar."

Those words were foreign to Marik's ears. Cute? For as long as he had lived and even when he was young, living with his mother—and he barely remembered the woman—he had never been referred to as cute. He wasn't sure if it was something that someone like himself should be proud of but it was nice to have Ryou Bakura regard him with such tenderness in his voice. Marik could stand being cute for Ryou Bakura.

Everybody else in the school had left, maybe fifteen minutes ago. The halls were empty, varied doors were still closed, teachers working after hours and Marik Ishtar was standing beside one of the closed doors. In the second hallway of the school's first building, he leaned against the wall, waiting patiently for his friend, Ryou Bakura. A door down the hall opened and a professor peeked his head out, looking straight at Marik. The teacher went back into his room as if nothing he hadn't seen anyone and Marik was not surprised or offended.

I have someone to notice me now, someone who knows my name, he thought. This thought sustained him until the last five minutes of waiting was over and the door he had been waiting by opened.

Ryou Bakura's hand was on the handle as he came out, hair a bit mussed and his shirt wrinkled. He smiled up at Marik; not the terrible, pathetic smile but the warm, reassuring one, the one that Ryou gave even when everything wasn't okay. The smile that lied. The one Marik Ishtar loved.

"Let's go," Ryou said. Marik nodded, not bothering to ask why the boy had been in the principal's office for so long.

They walked along the dusky sidewalks in clear silence. Branches blew quietly , not as fierce as they had during lunch earlier and maybe that's because even the trees felt Marik's tenseness. As they walked side-by-side, the narrow sidewalk pushing them together, his lilac eyes darted to the boy beside him and he watched as the jeans shifted in tightness as he continued swinging his legs.

Marik shook his head inadvertently and began to think about what Ryou Bakura had said earlier. We're friends after all. For as long as he was allowed to remember, he had never had a friend. And along comes Ryou Bakura, beautiful and sweet and he wanted to be friends. Even in his wildest dreams, it was more than Marik could've asked for.

So why was it not enough?

Ryou stopped suddenly, putting his hand on the back of his head. "Ugh. Marik," He turned to the blonde who had ceased walking as well. "We have to stop off at my house if you don't mind. This morning I left my Geometry textbook in my room and I'll need that to study—"

"Oh, that's okay," Marik nodded, careful not to seem too compliant or eager. "We can stop, I'm not in a hurry."

Ryou smiled brightly and they continued on another two blocks before they reached a beautiful neighborhood, familiar to Marik Ishtar only because he walked passed here sometimes but he never dreamed Ryou Bakura lived here. In this neighborhood, all the houses looked alike. Every one, white and large, not a mansion but close enough to intimidate the average citizen. But then, Marik thought, wasn't Ryou an average citizen?

Something inside him said no and they stopped right in front of the house at the end of the street. It was exactly like all the others and Marik wondered how Ryou knew this one was his. The paler of the two began to walk up the driveway and to the porch, taking a key from his pocket and unlocking the door. Marik stayed at the sidewalk and when Ryou looked back, he waved Marik over.

"Come on," He said when Marik arrived. "This'll only take a minute, I swear."

They walked in and Marik was overcome with butterflies. The house was even more gorgeous inside, bright and sophisticated, much like Ryou himself. Ryou walked through the kitchen and down the hallway while Marik looked around, worried. Ryou Bakura's house was so wonderful and where was their destination? His home? His apartment? It was dirty, he rarely cleaned it, him being the only one who ever saw it, and there were no pictures of family or friends… He realized that he and Ryou were two different people; Ryou, a first-class citizen and him, just another blank face with a terrible living space.

He stopped his agonizing when a shrill cry echoed throughout the house. Marik looked into the kitchen doorway and down the hallway adjacent to it. Saw nothing and ventured forth, hearing strange noises—talking?—and small sounds of frustration.

Ryou Bakura held his brother's hands down at his sides, trying not to let them wander as they were so famous for it. He had come down this way just to fetch his textbook but was once again intercepted by the slightly taller him, the figure in the darkness smiling and groping, immediately ready to undress him.

"Stop it, 'Kura, we can't do this right now," He whispered harshly.

Bakura rolled his eyes and leaned in again, his body pressing Ryou's into the wall. He smirked, rolling his eyes. "Sure I can't. Ry, stop playing, I've been waiting for you all day…" He trailed off, planting fevered kisses on the teen's neck, leaving small wet spots.

"I'm serious! Stop, Marik is in the house, I'm just here to get my—Marik." Finally, Ryou shoved his brother off of himself, and Bakura sent him an agitated look before following his younger brother's fearful doe eyes to behind them where, in the doorway, was an unfamiliar figure.

The light went on, as done by Marik's hand, and his lavender eyes scanned Ryou and Bakura in their current position. Ryou studied the confusion in Marik's eyes and decided that he didn't understand what was going on. He took in a small breath and walked from between his brother and the wall, to between Marik and Bakura.

He smiled up at Marik. "I-I was just saying hi to my brother. Oh, hey, where are my manners? Bakura, this is my friend, Marik Ishtar. Marik, this is my big brother."

An awkward silence followed and Ryou wasn't sure what to do but he was saved by Marik who seemed to have forced a timid smile and said: "Hello," And his brother responded by leaning against the wall, and muttering "Hey," or something of the like. Ryou nodded and said to Marik: "Well I'll just get the book and we'll be out of here."

Marik nodded and watched as Ryou continued down the hallway, simultaneously watching as Bakura followed after him, shutting the door to the room they entered together.

Ryou, now in his and his brother's bedroom in the back of the house, searched around the room for the textbook he had forgotten that morning, saying things to himself such as: "Where did I put it…?" He stopped his rummaging around when the bedroom door shut with a loud force and Bakura was seen leaning back on it, almost as a barricade.

"I'm not here to play, 'Kura," Ryou said lightly.

Bakura shook his head, not paying any attention to what was just said. "Who's that guy out there?"

"I told you; Marik Ishtar. Over the past week we've been sitting at lunch together and… well we're friends now." He finally found the Geometry textbook and picked it up. "We're just going over his house to study for a test tomorrow."

There was a look of disgust in his brother's eyes and it made Ryou feel smaller than he should've. "Study? I can't even remember the last time you studied for a test. What, the teacher said no to your pretty little mouth?"

Ryou flinched, he felt like Bakura had slapped him in the face which was how he usually felt when they got into this. He hated this topic, especially with his big brother. After they had spent their first time together when they were fourteen, in the darkness of the night, Bakura had asked that Ryou never give part of himself to another teacher. He asked that only they could share his body and as much as Ryou wanted it and still wants it, he declined. He just couldn't get those grades on his own and how would it look to their mother and father, him getting Fs? Ryou getting bad grades was not an option.

So they tried not to talk about it but every once in a while it came up and Ryou hated it so much. He found nothing to say except: "I'm sorry, Bakura…"

"Damn it, Ryou, I don't want your apology!" He banged his fist on the door and stood up straight. Ryou took a step back. "I want you to say you'll never do it again! That boy out there, Marik Ishtar, does he know about what you do?"

There was a beat of thought. Shouldn't lie to his big brother. "Y-Yes…"

A look of astonishment flashed in Bakura's eyes, him shaking his head as if Ryou was a child and had done something wrong. "So let me ask you this, Ryou. You let your friend know about the disgusting things you do with your teachers but you won't let him see me kiss you, is that right?" Voice was getting louder now. "Are you ashamed of the fact that you love me, Ryou? Ryou, answer me! Why do we have to hide it like this? Why can't I put my arm around you in public, why can't Marik Ishtar see you kiss me?"

Ryou was shaking too hard to answer and the hot tears that stung at his eyes were not helping. He barely choked out: "You know that isn't true, Bakura! B-But you know that us… us together, it isn't right in society's eyes!"

"The hell it isn't! Do you want to know why I never come to school anymore, Ryou? Do you? Because I have to watch as other people hit on you and I have to see when teachers tell you: 'After class,' and I can't say what I want to say! I can't tell them that you're mine!"

"Don't do this…"

"Show me your self-worth, Ryou." Bakura's voice was shaking too and Ryou looked up through a watery vision to see that his eyes were turning red as well. "Show me that you're worth all the torment this has put me through, show me that you love me!"

Ryou wiped at his eyes with both hands, smearing the redness all over his face and then stood from where he had been shaking on the bed. His legs felt new, unused before and he tried to balance as he walked to the door, his hand on the doorknob. He didn't look back at his brother when he opened the door and gently shut it behind himself, hearing distraught sobs and holding in his own.

He walked up to a confused-looking Marik Ishtar in the hallway, held up the book and was afraid that his argument with his brother had destroyed the smile he gave Marik. Marik noticeably shuddered.

"What's wrong?" Ryou tilted his head.

"… Nothing,"

The air was calming as they walked down the following five blocks into the city. Marik didn't live in the suburbs as Ryou did but on the outskirts of downtown, in an apartment building. Marik blushed fiercely when he told Ryou that he did not live in a big, beautiful house but Ryou didn't seem to care and continued talking as he had been. Marik wondered why he was talking so fast, about things that didn't matter. And why had he been crying earlier?

And why did he give him that smile…?

They arrived to the building soon enough and Ryou Bakura marveled at how high it was, him living in the up-town neighborhoods he was not used to seeing seven or eight stories on one structure.

"I live on the fifth floor," Marik said as they were entering the building, stepping into the elevator soon afterward. Ryou pressed the fifth button and it lit up, taking them passed floors one, two, three and four. The elevator stopped and the doors squeaked when opening, revealing a long hallway that led out to the rest of the floor and doors with numbers were scattered all over the place. Different things were in the hallway, a trash can and a large, red axe by a fire extinguisher. They only walked about twenty feet before Marik stopped, getting a key out of his back pocket.

"Here we go," He said rather mournfully as Ryou walked inside ahead of him. He shook his head, shutting the door lightly. "I-I'm sorry it's such a mess in here, no one ever comes over so I don't make it a point to…"

"Oh, please don't tell me that, Marik," Ryou had sat down on the couch in the center of the room and looked up at Marik with a placid look on his face. Marik's breath caught in his throat. Fake Ryou? "It's sad to think that no one's ever come over your house before. I'm here, aren't I? So you don't have to think of the past now."

Marik nodded, not able to voice what he wanted to say.

I love you.

Ryou Bakura.

A little while passed, maybe thirty minutes before they actually got down to studying. Marik pulled out his own notebook and textbook while Ryou opened the one he had retrieved from his house. They went over a study sheet that they had been given by Mrs. Olsen earlier in the week but neither of them had even bothered to look at it. They were struggling with most of it, neither of them having listened in class before. Friendly chit-chat took hold of them after a while.

"So do you live here alone?" Ryou asked, twirling his mechanical pencil in his hand. He laughed, "It's got that bachelor feel to it."

Marik nodded. "Yeah. When my parents died, I moved here with the life insurance money. It's sustained me for a while but I'm going to have to get a job soon or I'll lose the apartment… Sometimes I wish I did live with someone though, a friend… or a brother." Marik took in a small breath and took the plunge. "I-If you don't mind me asking… did you get into a fight with Bakura?"

The smaller one looked mildly surprised at this question but shook it off quickly. "Yes, but it isn't the first time. It… it wasn't a huge fight or anything, he just annoys me sometimes, as all brothers do."

He finished his statement with that broken smile and Marik wanted to look away but found that he couldn't. "It was pretty loud… He was loud, I mean." The blonde twiddled with his thumbs, now ignoring the study sheet. "And I heard some of it… Like he wanted you to stop… what you're doing with the teachers."

Ryou lowered his eyes. "Marik—"

"And I think he's right." Marik blurted out. "Someone so beautiful shouldn't subject themselves to that, you don't need to. I know that coming from me, it may not mean much, but I don't want you to get hurt. Y-You always seem so sad and I think that's the effect this whole thing has on you. You say you're my friend but you give me those smiles, those God-awful smiles!" He was getting hysteric now and Ryou had no idea how to react. He shook his head and continued, "And I hate them so much… You're so sad but I can't do anything to help you!"

A pause.

"But I want to, I want to help you so… so just stop. Please, Ryou Bakura, don't do these things anymore."

Ryou's head slowly began to move from side to side. "Marik, don't you start too, I can't take this,"

"You don't have to take it!" He rose up from the floor, now sitting on his knees, leaned towards Ryou who was quivering. "Just promise me you won't do anymore!"

"I can't promise you that,"

"Then…" Marik looked around at the room. It was almost seeming to melt and he closed his eyes to get away from the reality of what he had said to Ryou Bakura. That angel might hate him now, he had seen that he stormed out on his own brother but Marik was really nothing more than a stranger. Ryou could walk out that door and he would never see him again. Never. Marik opened his eyes again and Fake Ryou Bakura was laying down by the real one who quietly sobbed. Fake One kept his placid expression and Marik's own lips moved with his.

I'm in love with you, Ishtar.

Yes, I am.

Marik turned to Ryou. "What if I said I loved you back, Ryou? Could you promise me then that you wouldn't do it again?"

Ryou's shivers calmed and he looked up at Marik, a quizzical look on his face. He croaked out: "What? Love me… back?"

"Yes," Marik nodded, almost excited. "Remember when you told me you loved me? Well I love you back."

"… But Marik, I never said I loved you. I-I never said anything remotely like that."

"Yes, you did! You said it that night I bumped into you in the hallway! Your exact words were, I'm in love with you, Ishtar. You said that, Ryou." Marik now had a desperate tone to his voice, reverted back to his childhood when he wished his father would remember that he was his son. "Please tell me you remember now, Ryou Bakura."

There was a pause and Ryou finally began to get up from his spot on the floor, picking up his things in a hurried manner. He got up with his textbook and papers in his arms, heading for the door. "I'm sorry, Marik, but I have to go,"

"R-Ryou!" Marik was frightened, tears ran down his face but he couldn't feel them. He was so scared, Don't walk away, Ryou!

The door opened.

I'm in love with you, Ishtar.

I'm in love with you too, Ryou Bakura.

Ryou had been too confused and upset to hear Marik coming up behind him. Everything got hazy and then it went pitch-black, like midnight when the lights went out and Ryou heard his brother's moan.

To be continued…