Thor put down his ray gun (which really was very big indeed and much too heavy for him - he thought he might be getting a touch of sciatica) and offered to remove Sam's fluffy cuffies. To his surprise (and to Jack's greater surprise and increasing breathlessness) Sam pulled away and endeavoured to keep them on. You see, it wasn't that Sam had a special liking for cuffs or anything (in fact she was rather reluctant to remain... er... at a disadvantage while Jack was sitting next to her), but she did have a rather powerful fetish for pink. Not any sort of pink, mind. Sam was particular. Not the sort of shocking, shiny pink that constituted the infamous tight and unflattering satin pants of the 70's and early 80's; nor the vivid, relentless pink which assaults your eyes when you walk down the girls' toys aisle in Walmart or Woolworths and leaves an annoying green imprint on your retina until Christmas; nor even the relatively acceptable magenta-pink that lighting designers love to use at rock concerts during the obligatory ballad number when the audience hold up their lighters and sway and tell their buddies, "I love you, man".
No. None of those pinks.
Because Sam liked pastel pink. Yeah, the really pale, wishy-washy, pointless, strawberry-ice-cream sort of pink that makes 7-year-old boys gag and 10-year-old tomboys puke and grown men everywhere cringe and wish that they hadn't put their new white shirt in the laundry with their wife's/daughter's/girlfriend's/boyfriend's red panties.
Yes, that pink. And Sam loved it, craved it, couldn't get enough of it... and as she craned her neck to look over her shoulder at the fluffy cuffies she was wearing it kinda made all the difference that they were that pink.
"Thor," she said huskily, "if I agree to help you, can I keep these?" Her unnamed-extra-terrestrial-ocean-blue eyes darkened with desire and longing.
Thor blinked. "Uh. As you wish, Colonel Carter. I will explain. I'm going to have a baby."
Sam laughed. A lot. Then she composed herself. "Sorry, Thor, for a moment there I thought you said you were going to have a baby."
"I did," said Thor, and removed his Kevlar body armour, to reveal his very big, round, grey, quivvering tummy.
Sam shrieked. "Oh my god! Male-pregnancy bad!fic! The worst kind!"