Dawn

They watched him as he slept. He was so beautiful. It wasn't the first time she was aware when he was around, but it was the first time Dawn truly allowed herself to be present with the others. The first time she really stopped and took stock of herself and what was going on inside her head. She fought to hold on to her sense of self, her identity outside of the 'us' feeling. It was hard, though. No sooner than she thought she had a grasp on it, it slipped through her fingers, and she just felt like one of many cogs in a machine.

Garrus said he needed her, though. He needed her. So she fought.

For him, she would keep going. Pick herself up from the dying embers and try again, just like the phoenix Jack tattooed on her back. Maybe the achy, hollow feeling would abate in time. Maybe … maybe no one else had to die because of her.

"It wasn't your fault," Jane said, voice taking on the same soft, soothing quality she used with Dawn during the worst moments.

Dawn didn't respond to Jane, though, the other Shepards camping out inside her skull did. Some agreed with the fiery redhead, some didn't. Either way, it didn't matter. Dawn knew the truth. It was her fault. There was nothing anyone could ever say or do to convince her otherwise. Joker was dead, and it was because of her. The one person she thought was safe no matter what …. He was her best friend. Well, aside from Garrus and Thane, of course. But it was different with Joker. There was nothing else there, just that sort of familial love she'd missed so much in her life.

Joker was her brother.

Garrus grunted in his sleep, drawing her thoughts back to him. She'd hurt him so much through it all; she didn't understand why he stayed by her side. She didn't deserve his love or his loyalty, but she'd damn sure fight to keep it.

Grunting again, he rolled to his side and threw his arm over her waist. She smiled, breathing in his scent, slow and deep. Gaze roaming over the lightning bolt scars, her attention slipped to the edges and curves of his body. Muscles slid under plate and hide as he breathed, and she thought about what it felt like to knead those muscles as he moved above her. What he felt like inside of her. She squirmed a little at the thought. Damn, she missed him.

Even in his sleep, he scented the air, no doubt picking up on the stirring of her arousal. He grumbled, his grip tightening on her as he both pulled at her and scooted closer. She let out a soft hum and reached out, sliding her hand beneath his crest, gently digging her fingertips into the exposed hide. He groaned, eyelids fluttering open before dropping closed again. Moving a little closer, he nuzzled his head down until his face pressed against her neck and breathed in deeply.

She continued to work the hide beneath his fringe, her heart rate picking up a little when his talons flexed against her hip. "Make love to me, Garrus," she whispered, afraid to even speak the words because she felt sure he'd refuse.

He hummed but didn't say anything, didn't move to look at her or pull her closer. He just stayed there, face pressed against her skin, breathing her in. After a moment, she sighed, disappointed and heart stinging with the sharp bite of rejection. She started to pull her hand away, preparing to roll over and try falling back to sleep, hoping to at least keep him next to her awhile longer.

Protesting with a growl, he nipped at her shoulder, sending a shock of warmth through her system. She gasped, following it up with a half-suppressed, hungry groan. The others sharing a head space with her writhed in her consciousness, their thoughts bleeding through loud and clear, mixing with her own until she wasn't sure anymore what was her and what was them.

His grip on her tightened, and he pulled them flush, pressing his body against theirs. Hard and already slipping out of his plates, the feel of him through the thin fabric of his under armor made her insides clench and tremble. Moaning, she draped her leg over his thigh, locking her ankle beneath his spur, and rocked against him. Teeth scraped over their skin again, and she shuddered.

"Garrus," she whispered, his name needy and hopeful on her lips as she shifted to rub her face along the side of his head and crest.

He let out a soft purr, but a moment later, another growl rumbled through him. Flipping her over to her back, talons slicing through their clothes, he perched over her, mouth crushing down over her lips. Tongue meeting his, she desperately clutched his waist, squeezing and kneading, trying to break down the last of his barriers and beat back the voices inside of her head. He snaked a hand beneath her tank top and palmed her breast, the tips of his talons scraping along her skin when he squeezed.

Breathless, lips swollen, she tipped her head back and bared her throat to him when he broke the kiss. Tongue running along her skin, wet and warm, he rumbled and dragged his teeth over her jaw and neck. He trapped her nipple between his fingers, pinching and twisting with just the right amount of pressure to shoot an arc of lightning through her body. He knew her and what she liked, perfectly, and he never let her forget for even a second.

She pushed his shirt up, splaying her palms out over his back to soak in his warmth, pulling the feel of him deep into her ragged, torn soul. Their torn souls. Tears threatened to fill her eyes, but she pushed them away. He held her tighter, nuzzling against her neck and breathing in her scent. His mouth found hers again, their tongues mingling with softer, sweeter strokes. She thought he might be forcing himself to slow down and savor the moment.

To make love.

After a moment, he slid his hand from her shirt and eased back, giving her the room to sit up and pull off her tank top. She tossed it aside and then helped him out of his, wanting to feel every inch of his hide and plates against her skin. Wasting no time, he leaned in and trailed his tongue over her exposed breasts, using his mouth plates to tease her nipples taut. Pleasure consumed her, taking root and throbbing between her legs.

He nudged her back against the pillows again, still kissing and licking her breasts, as he tugged at the waistband of her pajama bottoms. He pulled them down over her hips, and they lifted their ass off the bed to help. Dropping her pants on the floor, Garrus knelt between their knees, his gaze turning to blue flames of burning lust. His under armor strained with his erection, natural lubricants soaking the fabric.

He traced the fading scars over her abdomen, trailing down over the hair between her legs before curling his fingers, tucking his talons against his palm as he dragged a knuckle along their clitoris. Breath catching in her throat, she shifted her hips without thought, one of the other Shepards eagerly seeking out more of the sensation. He did it again, running his finger up and down, spreading her wetness and teasing her until she whimpered.

Retracting his hand, he watched her as he licked his finger clean and then tugged down his pants. The moment he freed himself from his confines, she sat up enough to wrap a hand around his neck and urge him to meet her halfway for a kiss. As soon as her lips found his, she let her weight drop back to the bed, taking him down with her. He let out a soft chuckle, catching his weight on his hands pressed into the mattress on either side of her shoulders.

He looked down at her and purred, bumping his forehead against hers. Closing her eyes, she smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. Sliding a hand along her thigh, he hooked his hand under her knee and lifted her a little, shifting to press himself against their opening. She looked at him again when he pulled his forehead from hers, meeting his beautiful, warm, blue eyes. He held their gaze and slowly rocked his hips forward, pushing himself inside. She gasped, head tipping back to press into the pillows, back arching as she curled around him, pulling him in deeper.

Mind a flurry of 'we-ness', Dawn swallowed, mentally floundering until she had a good grasp on herself once again. Shifting his hips, he slowly eased back until he nearly left her completely before just as torturously and gloriously slowly pushing deep inside of her again. A strained groan grated through her throat, and she wrapped her arms around him tighter. Lifting her head from the pillow, she captured his mouth and started moving with his thrusts, sweet release already on the horizon.

Dawn stood in front of the shelf in the living room, her robe wrapped tightly, and arms clenched even tighter, around herself. She swallowed against the knot forming in her throat as she stared at Joker's hat and let the tears stream down her cheeks. Hearing the front door open, she turned toward the noise in time to see James step inside, shopping bags in hand.

Wiping the tears from her face, she smiled. "Hey, Vega. What'd you bring me?"

He glanced up at her, grin already forming on his face as he set the bags on the counter. "Morning, Lola. Where's Scars?"

"Maybe," she said and then cleared her throat, "you should start calling me Ídola again."

Pausing, hands only half retracted from the bags, he stared at her while his jaw slowly dropped open. "Are you—" He took a step closer, hope and excitement filling his brown eyes. "Yeah?"

She smirked, popping a shoulder in a shrug and rubbed away the residual wetness under her eyes.

Garrus left the bathroom and stopped at the end of the hall, propping his arm on the door frame above his head. He fluttered his mandibles, smiling warmly at her before turning his attention to James. The marine's gaze flicked back and forth between the two of them, clearly hoping Garrus would shine some light on her request.

Pushing off the wall, Garrus moved to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He leaned down to kiss her when she craned her neck to look at him, and judging by James' whoop of joy, it was all the clarification the man needed. She glanced back just in time to see the bear-sized man rushing toward her, arms thrown out to the sides. Garrus let her go, giving her a little nudge in James'. She met James halfway, stepping into his rib-crushing embrace with a grin on her face.