Janet promptly threw up over their feet. "Gah... Thor..." she spewed, grimacing, "you need to rescue this kid back asap!"
"Janet!" Sam screeched while cleaning her boot against Jack's leg. "You promised you wouldn't do that anymore. Not since that time I spent the night at your house because when we were sellabrating Cassie's 13th birthday and we had too much to drink. I don't know how Cassie can hold her liquor, then Cassie put us to bed (your extra-large king size bed) that you got lost in, because you're so small. And you did those things to me...
Jack suddenly feels very uncomfortable, not knowing if he's enjoying this story or feeling jealous, so he puts his hands over his ears and starts saying "LALALALALA
...and then you said that what we did wasn't really sex because you said that if the president says it isn't then it isn't.