Dawn

Shepard tightened her grip on Garrus' hand as Kasumi walked into the hospital room, stopping in her tracks the moment her gaze landed on James. Instantly, tears welled in the thief's eyes. She didn't even spare a glance in Dawn's direction as she took hesitant steps toward the bed. James didn't seem to notice her right away, which was no surprise considering how swollen his face was, likely limiting his field of vision.

Emilio, however, turned to take in the new edition, confusion filling his eyes. Glancing back at James, he jerked his head toward Kasumi and asked, "Mijo, la conoces?"

Head slowly rolling across the pillows, a smile spread across James' mangled face. "Kasumi," he said, and then when she let out a sob and rushed closer to the bed, his smile faded and he added, "Hey, don't cry, Bonita Gatita." He shifted on the bed, pushing himself a little more upright, hissing and wincing, before holding an arm out to her. "I'm going to be okay, I promise. I mean, I won't have my good looks, but with muscles like these …." His words trailed off, jokes disappearing in a cloud of smoke as she eased into his embrace.

Shepard took a couple of steps closer to Emilio and touched his shoulder. When he looked up at them, they tipped her head towards the door. Voice soft and unobtrusive, she said, "Let's go get some coffee. Give them a few minutes alone."

Emilio glanced back at his nephew for moment, lips turning down into a frown as James pulled the crying woman onto his lap despite his injuries. Sighing, he met Shepard's gaze again and nodded. "Bueno." Scooting his chair back from the bed, he stood and stepped away.

Meeting James' gaze, Shepard offered him a soft smile and mouthed the words 'we'll be back'. He gave them a brief nod, turning his attention back to Kasumi. Sliding her arm through Garrus', she moved in close to his side, using the contact and his warmth to keep herself together. Emilio followed them out of James' room and toward the cafeteria without comment, gaze wandering to the windows looking out over the Presidium.

"First time on the Citadel?" Shepard asked, watching the stranger out of the corner of her eye as she led them through the hospital.

Emilio chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Am I that obvious?"

Glancing at him, she smiled. "It's an impressive sight."

"Especially the Presidium." Garrus chuffed, and her heart fluttered. He smiled down at her and hummed before turning his attention back to Emilio. "I lived on the Citadel for years, and I still feel a little overwhelmed by the Presidium."

Emilio chuckled and then fell silent as they entered the cafeteria. A few steps inside, he glanced over at them again. "James is …."

"Going to pull through this. He's strong and stubborn." Shepard stopped and turned to face the man. They couldn't allow herself to think of any other possibility. She'd barely dragged herself back from the edge of insanity, and if they had to listen to Emilio's doubts just then …. "He took down three armed and armored men with his bare hands while wearing nothing but boxer shorts. He's the best damn marine I've ever known, and one hell of a friend. He will pull through this. He has to."

Nodding his head, tears just barely visible along his lower lid, Emilio's voice shook with a strange mix of fear and pride as he said, "He used to talk about you all the time. He really looks up to you, you know? I'm glad he had the chance to meet you, work with you." Holding his hand out to Shepard, he took a deep breath and added, "Thank you, Commander, for fighting so hard for him. James said you saved his life that night."

Shepard shook his hand and swallowed. The truth of the matter was, James never would've been in danger that night if not for her.

Dizziness set in, chest burning from the breath Shepard held locked inside her lungs as she waited to hear Mordin's report. The salarian took his time, though. It was both infuriating and encouraging because it meant he wanted to be damn sure Thane was okay … at least she hoped that's what it meant. If he came out of the room and told her that Thane and the others were indoctrinated ….

Garrus pressed his hand to her back between her shoulder blades, rubbing softly and rumbling deep in his chest. "Breathe, Dawn."

Letting the air seep out slowly, they closed their eyes and leaned against him. Slipping his arm around their shoulders, he pulled them in closer and kissed the top of their head. Thane didn't have very long left, either way. They might have saved him from Kai Leng's attack, but he still had Kepral's Syndrome. They couldn't save him from the disease, no matter how much they wanted to, but they were prepared for his death. As much as humanly possible, anyway. They knew it was coming. They weren't, however, prepared to lose him to the reapers' mind-warping bullshit.

"You don't know that you have," Jane said, voice soothing. "But … maybe he shouldn't join us as we go after the reapers anyway."

"Why?" they thought, chest feeling tight enough again that they realized they still weren't taking regular breaths.

"The Kepral's is getting worse. He's going to start having a lot of trouble breathing soon … passing out …." Jane's words brought on memories of watching videos Thane recorded for them while they were under house arrest. "He's not going to be in any condition to fight, and Kolyat needs this time with his father."

The door opened and Mordin walked out, bringing their conversation with Jane to a halt. Shepard pulled away from Garrus to sit upright, nerves pushing her to the edge of her seat. Her attention focused fully on the old salarian as he made his way over to her, a soft smile on his face. She wanted to take the smile as good news, but knowing Mordin … well, she'd be better off just waiting for him to actually say whether or not Thane was indoctrinated.

Stopping a few feet away, Mordin glanced up and down the hall before pulling a chair closer to sit down across from Shepard and Garrus. He brought a fist to his mouth and cleared his throat. "No obvious signs of indoctrination. Know indoctrination subtle sometimes, should take caution. Reevaluate regularly." He raised a hand, cutting off her relieved sigh before it could escape. "All but Thane cleared for duty, for now." Reaching over in a rare show of compassion, Mordin set his hand on Shepard's knee. "Time spent in low oxygen, high carbon monoxide environment increased damage to lungs. Scans show Kepral's Syndrome worsening, not fit for mission. My condolences, Shepard."

The still-healing cracks in her heart broke open. She knew it was coming—always knew it was coming—but seeing it there on the horizon threatened to bleed her dry. Vision blurring as tears began to well in her eyes, she let herself collapse against the salarian when he moved to crouch in front of her, arms opened in offer.

"How long?" Garrus asked, voice hoarse and tight as if it might just crack, too.

Mordin held her for a moment, humming a soft tune next to her ear as he rubbed her back. He didn't answer until she pulled away, wiping tears from her face and the salarian's jacket before searching his gaze.

Sighing softly, Mordin stood up and cleared his throat. "Difficult to say. Already surpassed previous prognoses. Suspect few weeks, at most. Generous estimate."

Shuddering with her exhale, she licked her lips and asked, "Is there anything you can do for him?"

She already knew the answer.

The remorse sweeping over the doctor's face filled her eyes with more tears. "Damage too advanced for traditional treatments. Experimental treatment options available, but—"

"He doesn't want them," she said, finishing his statement and taking Garrus' hand in her own when he let out a low, frustrated growl.

"Accurate summation." Mordin took a deep breath, shoulders rising, and tucked his hands behind his back. "Wants to speak with you."

Thane sat on the edge of the hospital bed, palms pressed into the mattress, boots solidly on the floor. His head hung loosely on his neck, gaze fixed on the ground. He looked up when she crossed the floor to stand next to him, tears in his eyes. Neither of them spoke as he pulled her into his arms, clinging to her as if just being there with her would keep his heart beating forever. Just then, she couldn't say with certainty the feel of his chest pressed against hers wasn't the only thing keeping her heart from shattering into a million pieces all over again.

"I'm—" he said before his voice broke and his shoulders shook. "I'm sorry, siha."

And with that, her silent tears turned into wracking sobs, and she held him tighter. "No," she finally managed to say, sniffing and nearly choking on her own mucus. She shook her head, bringing a hand up to press against his frills and pulling back enough to meet his gaze through blurry eyes. "I'm sorry. I knew this was coming … I knew we didn't have much time together … and I—"

Silencing her with a kiss, he stroked her hair with one hand, grip tightening possessively on her hip with the other. "Everything, every moment of my life has been made better by having known you. By having loved you, and known your love in return. Don't apologize to me, siha. You haven't failed me in any way; you've given me more than I ever dared hope for in my final days."

"He always has such a flair for the dramatic," Jane said, and despite the snarkiness of the words, Shepard felt Jane's heartbreak, too.

Shepard forced a smile and rubbed her thumb across his frills. "Jane says you always have a flair for the dramatic."

Sounding every bit as forced, Thane chuckled. "Indeed." He studied her eyes a moment, lips parted as if waiting for him to find the right words for them to speak. "Shepard, I need—"

"To go to Kahje and spend this time with your son." She swallowed and nodded, stepping back and taking his hands in hers, tugging gently. "I know. Come on, Mordin said you can go home. Garrus and I will take you there, and when the Normandy arrives, I'll get you to Kolyat before anything else."

He stood at their urging but only to wrap her up in his arms again. "You are far better than I deserve, siha."

"I can stay, if you want." Garrus hummed, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

She glanced back over her shoulder at Thane who sat quietly on his couch, eyes darting back and forth behind the darkened brille. Whatever memory he'd succumbed to, he didn't speak of it out loud. As much as she loved Garrus, as much as his presence would soothe her and make the night pass with a little less pain, just then Thane needed her more.

Just her.

Turning her attention back to Garrus, she lifted up on her toes and tipped her head back, offering him a kiss. He pressed his mouth to hers with a soft rumble before nipping her lower lip with his plates. Nudging his forehead against hers, he seemed to take her silence on the matter as his answer, letting his hands slip away.

"Hmmm. Call me when you wake up in the morning. Or if you need anything tonight. Or if anything goes wrong, or—" He chuffed when she cut him off, pressing a finger against his mouth plates.

"I'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'll call you when I wake up." Giving him a soft smile, she dropped her hand from his mouth and let it rest against his keel. "I love you, Garrus."

"Spirits, Dawn, I love you, too." Leaning in, he gave her another quick kiss before stepping away and heading for the door.

It'd been several, long minutes since either of them spoke, the silence comforting and not at all awkward. It was obvious they were both exhausted, but neither of them seemed prepared for sleep, knowing it'd only bring them that much closer to 'goodbye'. Instead, they lounged, curled up together on the couch. She traced her fingertips over one of the black stripes decorating his arms, watching the lamp's light glint off his scales, each one something precious she wanted to remember forever.

Forever. A very real possibility for her, seeing as the reapers were well on their way and she still didn't have any real idea on how to break the cycle keeping her and the others trapped.

"Siha?" Thane's soft voice drew her attention to him, nipping her ruminations in the bud.

"Hmm?" She shifted, lifting her head to look at him.

"I would ask a favor of you," he said, the intense set of his jaw and focus of his gaze telling her just how serious he felt about the matter. "I want you to take Avalina with you in my stead. I trust her, and I believe her skill set will prove quite valuable for you in the upcoming war. Her biotics are substantial, and she spent many years as a huntress. She will not fail you on the battlefield, and she is more than capable of handling any tech-related issues you might encounter."

She smiled, sliding her hand up to caress the ridges lining his cheekbone. "With a glowing endorsement like that, how can I possibly say no?"

Relaxing under her touch, he smiled, though it wasn't quite as brilliant of a smile as she'd grown used to with him. It seemed sad and somehow self-deprecating. "Thank you. I will rest easier knowing she is there to help Garrus keep you safe."

She sighed. The man was literally weeks away from death, and he was worried about keeping her safe.

"Make love to me, siha." Thane searched her gaze in the low light of his bedroom, something desperate and filled with fear lurking in his eyes. "I know you intend to see me again before the sea calls me home, but I fear by then …. Give me one more memory to carry me through the long, lonely nights to come—before I am no longer able."

Fighting back the tears stinging her eyes with their threats, she sucked in a deep breath and smiled. "And here I thought I was going to have to work to convince you. I figured after … after seeing me fall apart, you might not think it was a good idea."

He captured her lips, tongue tracing over the curve of her bottom lip, enticing her to open her mouth to him. Draping their arms over his shoulders, they let out a soft moan as he grabbed her hips and pulled her flush. The heat of his body soaked into her, melting the growing ball of icy dread deep in the pit of their stomach. His movements were slow, soft, and yet filled with breathtaking passion.

A hand slipped beneath her shirt, his palm pressing against the small of her back before sliding upward along her spine. He caught the clasp of her bra between his fingers, and a second later the fabric fell slack, the sudden lack of support bringing her attention to the weight of her breasts and hardening nipples. She broke the kiss and nipped his lip, not wanting to steal any more vital air from his lungs, before trailing her tongue over his frills.

He groaned and tilted his head a little, offering more of his throat to her explorations as he shoved the cup of her bra out of his way. Closing his warm hand over her breast, he trapped her nipple between thumb and finger, squeezing and twisting with just the right amount of pressure to send a wave of tingling heat rolling through her body before settling between their legs. She arched their back, pushing herself into him, and scraped their teeth over his jaw.

"I love you, siha," he whispered next to her ear before nuzzling against the side of her head and face.

Pulling back, she cupped the back of his head and met his gaze. "I love you, too, Thane. I always will. No matter how any of this ends, I'll always love you."

Tears slipped free of his eyes, sliding down his face in slow, lazy drops. She brushed one away with a thumb and kissed him, leaving a little space between their lips as her tongue danced with his. Trailing her hand down, they caressed the bare scales of his chest before starting on the clasps of his vest. He returned the favor by pushing her shirt up further, giving her the room to pull her arms free one at a time between opening buckles.

She shoved his vest down his shoulders, and he let them go long enough to let it drop to the floor. Pulling her shirt over her head, she tossed it and her bra on top of his vest. Hands free again, she ran them over his bare chest before gripping his hips and leading him toward his bed.

Surprising them, he swept her up into his arms and carried her the rest of the way. He gently laid her down on the mattress before perching above her, a knee between their thighs as he braced himself on the palms of his hands. He leaned down, capturing her lips once more before shifting his weight to one arm. With feather light strokes, he caressed her arm from shoulder to wrist and back again.

His mouth disappeared from hers, and a moment later, his hot, wet tongue swirled around first one nipple and then the other. She gasped, back lifting off the bed just a little, and looked down at him. Threading their fingers through the spikes of his crest, she worked them back and forth over the sensitive area.

Cupping a breast, he lifted and kneaded as he closed his mouth over her nipple, teasing it with tongue and teeth. She moaned, his name slipping through their lips and her thighs clenching ever so slightly against his knee. Adjusting himself, he brought his leg up higher until his knee pressed against her, stimulating her clit through the layers of leather and cloth still separating them, and she felt his hardness against her thigh. Another moan forced its way free of her throat, and they rocked their hips, grinding against his leg.

He released her breast, tongue trailing over to taunt her other nipple while he reached between them to pull her pants open. He kissed his way from sternum to navel, bringing his other knee up onto the bed, and hooked his fingers around the waistband of her pants and panties. She lifted her hips, helping him as he tugged at first one side and then the other, inching them down over her curves.

She let him slide her pants all the way off and toss them aside before they pushed herself up on one arm and wrapped their hand around the back of his head, bringing him to her for a kiss. Entangling his fingers in the hair just above the nape of her neck, he made a fist, tugging until a shiver ran down her spine. His tongue shoved past her lips, and his other hand slid along her thigh before petting the hair between her legs. Whimpering as he reached lower, she rolled her hips to meet his fingers as he wet them at her opening and then dragged them upward to rub circles over their clit.

She shuddered, kiss becoming more demanding as all the muscles between one hip bone and the next began to tighten in anticipation. She let go of his head and dragged her hand down his chest and abdomen, savoring the feel of rock hard muscle beneath their fingertips, before working to free him from his confines. She shoved his pants down over his ass before more carefully easing them down in the front, wrapping her hand around his erection the moment the leather was out of her way.

He groaned into her mouth as she stroked him, picking up the pace against her clit. Letting go of her hair, he tugged his pants down, performing a balancing act as he lifted one leg and then the other to push them past his knees—never once breaking contact with her or losing his rhythm. He brought his hand to her face, cupping her cheek as his tongue retreated.

Chest heaving with each breath—whether from arousal or his illness, she couldn't be sure—he guided her back to the mattress. His fingers dipped inside of her, and she clenched around him, instinct and need driving her hips up to push him in deeper. He curled his fingers, kneading her most sensitive areas inside as he used his thumb to press and rub against her clit.

Trembling, so desperate to have him inside of them, she reached between them again and wrapped her hand around his erection, guiding him forward. Fingers retreating, he braced himself, hands pushing into the bed on either side of her and kissed her as she lined him up. Rolling his hips, he eased inside until meeting resistance and then rocked back and forth sliding in and out as he spread their fluids and coaxed their muscles to relax and allow him entrance. Once buried deep inside, his lips left hers, and he lowered himself to his elbows, stretching his forearms out beneath her shoulders as he cradled her against him.

Brushing hair out of her face, he held her gaze for several seconds, moving in and out of her at a perfect, tortuously slow pace. It pulled her back from the edge of a frantic, feral orgasm and started building her toward something deeper, stronger, one that promised to take her from head to toe. One they would never forget, no matter how fallible their human memory, and in that moment, they knew never forgetting was exactly his intent.

Shepard leaned against the railing, watching as the Normandy docked with the Citadel. The sight of the ship brought on a flood of emotions, all too chaotic and mixed up for her to really make heads or tails out of … but she just figured it was something she was going to have to get used to. Something they were going to have to get used to. There wasn't any denying it, she really was no longer Commander Dawn Shepard, but she was more Commander Shepard than she'd ever been before.

And their place was on the Normandy.