Janet scrambled to her feet, slipped on her puke, landed hard on her butt, emitted an expletive that made everyone present turn beet-red (even Thor, who hadn't known until that moment that he was capable of blushing), hauled herself back up again and grabbed the baby from where it was trying to suck on Sam's pink fluffy cuffies. She shoved the little bundle of Asgard joy and cuteness into Thor's skinny arms.
"Here! If it's your baby, you raise it!" she told him. "These two can not be trusted. Sam will dress it in something hideous and the other kids will laugh at it and O'Neill will take it on interminable boring fishing trips to compensate and it will be miserable and grow up resentful and turn into one of those evil mastermind criminals who sits in a huge but remarkably secret inner-mountain complex with hundreds of staff in boiler-suits and a fluffy white cat and says, "Ah, Mr Bond, I have been expecting you...
-- Janet had to pause here to take a breath because one of scari's run-ons occured in dialogue --
... and you don't want that to happen, do you?"
Thor stared at the breathless doctor, a little non-plussed . "Um... no?" He absently offered his baby a skinny finger to suck on. The little darling smiled and sucked contentedly.
"See, Thor?" said Janet pointedly, "you're a natural." She grabbed Sam's and Jack's leashes in one neat fist and hauled them away.
"Wha... where are we going?" gasped Jack.
"Earth!" said Janet, punching the DHD resolutely with her free hand.
"But what about Grace Danielle Teal'colette Georgia?" wailed Sam.
"His name is Sigurd," Thor said with swelling fatherly pride. "I've decided."
"Can we be Auntie and Uncle?" Jack pleaded as Janet dragged them through the Stargate.
"Certainly, Auntie Jack," said Thor, "but we'll expect more than just book tokens for Christmas and birthdays." He checked his calendar. "And you're leaving it a little late for Sigurd's Easter eggs."
Annnnnnd...THE END