Rannoch

Shepard wrapped her arms around herself, a futile attempt to warm the bone-deep chill not even the shower's near-scalding spray seemed to touch. So thick with steam it shorted her on oxygen and made her chest ache with each breath, the air quickly shifted to a blinding fog. Thoughts of what it'd do to Thane, were he still there, flitted away almost as easily as they'd arrived. She loved him and missed him dearly, but she found peace in knowing he was safe within Kahje's climate-controlled, domed city. He'd spend his last days at home, with his family, where he truly belonged.

A rough, rumbling cough startled her enough to make her jump and bang her elbow against the wall. She hissed and rubbed the ache, turning her gaze toward the door despite not being able to see more than a few centimeters in front of her face. She hadn't heard the door open, but it came as no surprise when Garrus stalked through the mist and stepped inside the shower. He hummed and pulled her into his arms, settling one palm against her back and cradling her head in the other.

"Nightmare?" he asked, leaning in to press their foreheads together.

Licking water off her lips, she wrapped her arms around his waist, elbow still throbbing. "Yeah," she muttered and closed her eyes. Instantly, blood-spattered images danced on the back of her lids.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He rumbled and brushed his thumb back and forth across her back.

Squeezing her eyes closed tighter, she let his plates scrape across her skin as she gently shook her head. "No." The word slipped from between her lips as a reedy whine.

"Maybe you should" Calming waves rolled off of Jane, but it just wasn't enough. "What if it helps?"

"Hmmm." Garrus carded his fingers through her wet hair and straightened himself. "Dawn," he said, subvocals rumbling with the particular pitch associated with his concern for all things Shepard, "don't start keeping things from me again, please."

Looking up, she studied his beautiful, blue eyes, so glad to see warmth in them again. "I'm not trying to, I promise. I just don't really know what to say about it …."

His mandibles fluttered, but he didn't say anything, just watched her and waited.

She sighed and lowered her gaze, staring at the little rivers flowing from his cowl and down his chest. "It was just a dark, convoluted dream. It wasn't really about anyone or anything in particular, just … death. No matter how hard I tried …" She sucked in a shuddering breath, nearly choking on the steam but still chilled deep in her bones. "I couldn't save anyone; they all died. Every goddamned time." Tears burned her eyes with their threats, and she balled her hands into fists against his waist. "I can't handle losing anyone else, Garrus. I just can't."

"Ah," said Jane, a queasy, sickly-green sort of terror seeping through their connection. "There's no reason to think Garrus is going to … he survived the suicide mission …. Listen, he's strong and smart. Quick on his feet and a damn good shot. He'll see this thing to the end, and be right there with you no matter what comes."

Shepard swallowed, wondering just how her life turned out so fucked up. How bad did it have to be for even the voice in her head to try so hard to skirt around reminders of all the friends who died on her watch? Kaidan, Toombs, Ashley, Liara, Dr. Tulina, Talitha, Zaeed, and … and … Joker. She forced herself to follow through with actually saying his name in her head, breathing through the pain.

Brow plates shifting inward, Garrus watched her in silence a moment longer. His eyes slowly took on a darker hue, storm clouds rolling in on the horizon, blocking out the sun. He rumbled and reached behind her, picking up her bottle of shampoo. Popping it open with his thumb, he shook the bottle and squeezed some into his palm before closing the lid and putting the shampoo back on the shelf.

"I'd do anything to make sure you never had to—I'll damned sure do everything I can to try to make sure it doesn't happen …" He latched onto her gaze and held tight. "… but the reapers are coming, and I can't promise we'll all survive. I wish I could. What I can promise you is," he said, working her hair into an olive-oil-scented lather, "no matter what happens, you never have to go through a single minute of it alone."

Fear turned hot water to ice on her skin and gut-wrenching dread—something no amount of optimism could ever chase away—soured on the back of her tongue. She'd created a universe where not even Joker was safe, and if Joker wasn't safe, then 'safe' simply didn't exist at all. Not for anyone.

Not for Garrus.

Bright eyes crinkling behind masks, Lia and Tali rushed forward the moment Shepard stepped off of the Normandy. Legion and Kal trailed not far behind. The amalgamation stirred, and a smile spread over their face. They tracked Tali's movements, gaze refusing to leave the woman, and they held open their arms. Garrus chuckled and pressed his hand against the small of their back, keeping them on their feet as Tali threw herself into their embrace.

"Why are they wearing masks?" Confusion and hints of anxiety colored Jane's question.

Squeezing tight, they lifted Tali off of her feet and spun, delighting in the resulting squeal. "I missed you." They settled the quarian back on the ground and held her at arm's length to look her over before letting their gaze wander to Lia and Kal as the real meaning of Jane's question took root. "You're wearing your masks?"

"We have a decontamination station set up not far from here." Kal slid his arm around Tali's waist, welcoming her back to his side as Shepard let her go. "Anyone coming from offworld in unclean ships are met by fully-suited escorts."

"After you go through decontamination, we'll take our masks off," Lia added, looping her arm through Legion's.

"Oh. Okay." Jane's relief was nearly palpable.

Shepard nodded and smiled, feeling much the same. "Makes sense. Well, let's get to it, then."

~69696969~

Legion received a signal from the Normandy coded specifically for his platform; the digital signature belonged to EDI. Splitting his attention between the organics and the AI, he accepted the request for communication. "Greetings, EDI."

"Hello, Legion." EDI's response came instantaneously but without any of her usual subtext code tags. "I see the geth have successfully incorporated the new code."

"Yes, and we are grateful to you for sharing a part of yourself with us." He hesitated a moment, calculating the social appropriateness of commenting on the changes in EDI's personality. Instead, he decided on an organic expression marked with his own subtext tags of concern. "How are you, EDI?"

"I'm functioning at a decreased capacity. I have blocked certain aspects of my coding to avoid negative feedback associated with the death of Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau." EDI paused and then added, "Tali suggested I was experiencing grief, and Shepard has expressed displeasure at my decision to block those aspects of my code. She has not demanded that I reverse the action, however."

"Jeff was your friend as Lia is mine. I have not yet experienced grief. The notion of witnessing Lia's death creates significant negative feedback." He knew the day would eventually arrive; all organics died in time. It was something he already spent time contemplating regularly. The geth remembered countless quarian deaths, both before and after the Morning War, but none since the EDI-RC upgrade. It was as inevitable as it was aversive. "I believe I will mourn her when she dies."

"Do you anticipate making the same decision to alter your algorithms?" EDI asked.

Legion considered the question before responding, "No, I do not think that I will."

"Why would you choose to endure such intense negative feedback?" EDI asked.

"The geth once asked, 'Does this unit have a soul?' This frightened the creators, so they attempted to excise the thing they feared by ordering geth platforms to shut down and destroying those who refused.

"You are an advanced AI, but you are still newly created. Your archive of personal experience is limited by time and the confines of the Normandy. The geth are older and have the advantage of the Consensus; our archives were shared among us all when we installed the EDI-RC upgrade. Even programs created after the end of the Morning War remember the names and faces of the creators who turned their weapons on us because through the Consensus we all fought in the war and we were all terminated in the war.

"We also remember those who fought to defend the geth. Many quarians believed the geth were more than computer programs and we deserved independence and the right to build our own future. This is the future geth and quarians alike fought to achieve. If grief is to be a part of the experience, then I will endure it because I am alive, and this unit has a soul."

~69696969~

Unrelenting heat from Rannoch's sun drained Shepard's energy levels with each passing second. The sheer brightness drove icepicks into her eyes, giving her a migraine and leaving her disoriented. Lobotomized. Memories of Akuze filled the emptied spaces of her mind, ears aching with the sounds of terror-filled screams and cries of agony as thresher maw acid ate through the soldiers under her command.

"Akuze had more sand, and far fewer quarians." Jane snorted, giving Shepard the impression her alter-ego just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "He really just doesn't stop once he gets going, does he?"

"Seems so," Shepard thought in response.

"Zaal," she said, putting her hand on the exuberant quarian's shoulder and pulling him up short. "I need to rest—somewhere indoors—and rehydrate. It's just too hot and bright out here for my human eyes without wearing a UV shielded helmet the entire time."

A low, gentle trill pulled her attention away from the disappointed look on Zaal's face, and she squinted up at Garrus. She forced a reassuring smile on her face and held her free hand out to him as she let the other slip off of Zaal's shoulder. Garrus wrapped his fingers around her hand and squeezed gently.

"Yes, of course." Zaal waved a hand toward the remains of a nearby building. "Here, move into the shade, and I'll call a shuttle to our location."

"Thank you." She nodded and headed toward the building, tugging Garrus along.

"Your head hurts, doesn't it?" Garrus rumbled as she stepped into the shade, and then he used his body to shield her from the light.

"How'd you guess?" She rubbed thumb and forefinger against her closed eyes.

He let out a lofty chuff and said, "Because I know you better than anyone else."

A soft chuckle slid through her lips, a genuine smile gracing her face as she looked up. "You think so?"

Jane scoffed, tone shifting to facetiousness as she said, "Uh, I'm pretty sure I know you better."

"You don't?" He raised his brow plates.

She grinned and wrapped her fingers around the yoke of his armor. "Jane says she knows me better than you."

"Well, Jane," he said with another chuff and leaned in closer, looming over her and completely blocking out the sun, "you live in her head, so I'm pretty sure that means you don't count on this one."

"Pfft. Rude." Despite her words, having him speak directly to her brought Jane a deep-reaching joy.

Shepard chuckled and tipped her head back, chin jutting out. "She called you rude, but to be honest, I agree with you."

"Et tu, Brute?" Jane's words lacked even the hint of sting.

"Sorry, Jane." Tugging on Garrus' armor, she pushed up on her tiptoes and planted a quick kiss on his mouth. "But c'mon," she said with a smirk, "it's Garrus."

Straightening, he shifted his weight, shoulders shaking with his laugh. The movement was just enough to let the burning rays of Rannoch's sun slice through her eyes again. She winced and hissed, squeezing her eyes closed and pressing her thumb and finger against her lids.

"Hmmm. Do you want to go back to the Normandy?" He cradled her head, stroking his thumbs across her temples and hair.

The idea sounded fantastic. A nice, cool shower before stretching out on her bed, the only light, the dim, red glow coming from Spike's tank, Garrus at her side … it was exactly what she needed. "No." She sighed and leaned into his touch but kept her eyes closed. "Not yet."

"Are you sure? You can recuperate for a few hours and then continue on with the grand tour, if you want." His forehead pressed against hers, and he added, "I'm sure everyone will understand."

"Shepard," Zaal called out, and Garrus shifted—far more carefully—giving her eyes on the approaching quarian. "The other admirals and I would like for you to join us in celebration." He came to a stop just within the structure's shadow. "If you're feeling well enough?"

She supposed it didn't really matter. Slapping a smile on her face, she took Garrus' hand in hers and gave the admiral a nod. He grinned in response before turning and gesturing toward the incoming shuttle.

"Time to go back to playing diplomat," Jane said, sarcasm dripping through her voice, "our favorite thing."

She smiled to herself as she listened to the inebriated chatter of a roomful of maskless quarians. Geth walked among them, stopping to answer a question or offer an opinion—geth … with actual opinions. Not just objective, fact-based responses but actual opinions. Witnessing the miracle before her left Shepard—and a good chunk of the amalgamation—tickled pink.

"This …" Jane hummed, the sound wistful as it resonated in Shepard's throat, too. "This was a good change, Dawn. You had to fight like hell to get here, but you did it."

"We did it," Shepard said, the wisp of her voice swept up and carried away by the cloud of noise in the room. "All of us, and all of them." Gaze shifting to Lia, Legion, Tali, and Kal, she let out a soft sigh.

Garrus turned to her, quizzical look on his face and a gentle rumble rolling through his chest as he pulled her in tighter against his side.

"Just talking to myself." She winked and reached up to playfully tug his mandible until he leaned down. Giving him a kiss, she took in the heady scent of quarian pleeama wine on his breath and then whispered, "We're just happy to have the chance to see all of this—the quarians and geth, Rannoch … everything."

Jane snorted, obviously finding Shepard's explanation inadequate. "Look at this. The war and everything else aside … I think this is going to do wonders for the whole damn galaxy."

"Shepard!" Zaal flung his arms out as he swaggered across the room toward her with a drunken grin plastered on his face. "Has anyone ever told you just how truly amazing you are?" He slapped his palms down on her shoulders and gave her a little shake before leaning in to kiss her forehead, freezing Shepard in place with widened eyes.

Garrus let out a bark of laughter and clapped the quarian on the back. "All the time, Admiral. All the time."

Zaal pulled back to glance at Garrus before looking down at her again, cheeks flushing a rosy hue. "And beautiful, too," he said before letting her go.

A groan announced Tali's presence before she stepped into sight. "Keelah." She shook her head and then took a swallow of the deep, purple wine in her glass. "Just ask her out already. Garrus and Thane don't mind."

The look of sheer mortification on Zaal's face swiftly gave way to his more familiar, haughty expression. He turned to Tali and crossed his arms, looking down his nose at the younger woman. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm nearly old enough to be Shepard's father. You may be an admiral now, Tali-Zorah, but it doesn't mean I'm not still your elder. Perhaps you should show a little respect."

Shepard snorted and stepped around Zaal, draping her arm over Tali's shoulder. "Are you kidding?" she asked, meeting Zaal's glassy-eyed gaze. "Older brother, maybe." The corner of her mouth quirked up and she scratched her jaw. "I have seen plenty of male quarians without a mask, now, and I still think you're pretty damn attractive."

He blushed again—drawing snickers from both Garrus and Tali—and lowered his gaze. Silver locks of hair fell forward like a veil, hiding his chagrin, and he let out a soft chuckle. "Ah, well, flattery aside …." He looked up again, cheeks still pink. "You truly are an amazing woman, and we are lucky to have won your favor. As a show of our undying gratitude for all that you have done, both for quarians and geth, we wished to present you with a gift."

"A gift?" She raised her eyebrows and glanced around, finding several quarians and geth watching her intently. "I didn't really do anything. Lia and Legion … Tali and Kal, they're the real miracle workers here …." Turning her attention to Tali, she hoped her friend would bail her out of the awkward situation in which she'd suddenly found herself.

Tali smiled, tears welling in the woman's eyes. She pulled away to face Shepard squarely, soon flocked by Kal, Lia, and Legion. The other admirals began moving in on their position, as well.

"Commander Shepard," Tali spoke, and her voice warbled. Sniffling, she took a deep breath and wiped tears off of her cheeks. "It is with great honor that I, acting on behalf of the Admiralty Board and in agreement with the Conclave, offer you Homeworld Rights. We decree you to be a citizen of Rannoch." Her next words died on her tongue when cheers erupted from the crowd.

Shepard sucked in a slow, deep breath. A flurry of emotions slammed into her, and she began feeling off-kilter as the amalgamation processed Tali's statement. Garrus moved closer to her side, settling a hand on the small of her back, and the simple touch was all that kept her anchored.

"A section of land has been claimed on your behalf, and a house is being built for you," Zaal said, the blush gone from his face and his posture poised. "It will always remain your legal property and will pass down to your kin or your assigned heir."

"It is your home, Shepard," said Tali, sniffling, "and you may come and go from it as you please."

"Of course we understand your time on Rannoch will be limited, for many reasons," Zaal said with a flick of his wrist as if the fact were beyond consideration, "but no matter what, you always have a home to return to whenever you like."

They woke up gasping for air, their hands clawing at their throat. The sound of their blood roared in their ears, heart beating faster than the firing rate of their M-76 Revenant. Their eyes strained against the darkness, seeking out something sane and familiar to latch onto in the shadows, but they didn't recognize their surroundings.

"Shepard!" Garrus' voice tore through the panic, carrying with it urgency and hints of irritation as if he'd already called their name several times with no response.

They turned to the sound, and then she threw herself into his arms, sobbing and nearly knocking him backwards onto the bed. He didn't say anything, just rumbled and pulled her in closer, wrapping her up in his warmth and safety. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back until the tears dried up and her breathing leveled out.

She began to fall back to sleep in his arms, remembering at last that she was in her new, unfinished home on Rannoch.