She was my best friend's wife at the end, but not at the beginning.

Now she's gone.

I still remember when we met on the train. Me, shy and unsure, her, nervous but trying so hard to be brave. She was reading a book, trying to understand what Hogwarts was like. She always wanted to understand everything. We talked, and I was amazed at how beautiful she was, thick, dark red hair, almond-shaped emerald green eyes and all. But she wasn't just beautiful on the outside. She was beautiful inside, too.

But now her beauty is only a memory.

I remember her walking up to the Sorting Hat, how she tried to stand up straight, but she was shaking at the same time. She slipped the hat on and closed her eyes, mouthing something. And the hat yelled, "GRYFFINDOR!" and she gracefully, numbly took her seat at the Gryffindor table. I was sorted after her, because she was called Evans and I was called Lupin. I was sorted into Gryffindor, too, and I was so glad that I knew somebody in my house.

But those days of Gryffindor pride are long over.

I remember cheering with her at the Quidditch meets, where my best friend, James Potter, would show off for her. He always was infatuated with her. James was the Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, the best there was. She ignored him, but she still cheered, and we would sit, bundled up in scarves and sweaters, and watch the players fly. And when the team won, she cried, "Remus, we did it!" She hugged me, and I hugged her back, and I was glad to be her friend.

But Quidditch days faded away.

I remember how she loved to sit by the lake. She would peel off her socks and shoes and dip her feet into the cold water, and sometimes I would join her. We would talk about everything, but school mostly. Then we would go to the library, and we'd sit and study for hours. Sometimes I marveled at her self-discipline, but I liked to study with her all the same.

But those long hours of whispered studies ended.

I remember how she cried the first time she was called a "Mudblood." It was Malfoy who did it, and James was furious. They got into a duel, and eventually they exchanged their wands for fists. They both got detention, so I sat with Lily while she cried. She looked so fragile then, and I wanted to protect her from all the cruel things people did.

But I couldn't.

I remember when we arrived on the train for sixth year and she said, "Remus, I'm a prefect!" And I was a Prefect, too. We spent long hours patrolling the corridors, and she always took extra turns because of my health. She never complained, not even when she had to patrol the darkest corridors alone. Sometimes James would sneak out under his invisibility cloak to join her, but she never was very appreciative. She didn't like him then.

But all that changed.

I remember when she finally said that she would go out with James, and he whooped and swung her around in his arms, and she laughed. She looked so happy then, and even though I was a little jealous, I was happy, too. Sometimes I look at a picture of us all in Hogsmeade, James resting his chin on the top of her head, Sirius grinning at their unabashed affection, Peter staring as if wondering how James got all the girls, and me standing at Lily's side. We all were so happy then, and I look at the picture and wonder how things changed.

But they did change, and now she's gone.

I remember her wedding day, and how she was upset that her sister Petunia wouldn't come. I always despised Petunia for how she treated Lily. But Lily hid it well, and I remember how she looked in that long white dress, her emerald eyes sparkling and her dark red hair pulled up in curls. And I watched as her father gave her away to James Potter, and the way he looked so proudly at his beautiful bride. Sirius was the best man, of course, but I was there for both of them. And Lily kissed me on the cheek before James carried her off in his arms, and suddenly my eyes were moist.

But now they're moist every time I think of Lily and James Potter.

I remember how excited she was to be a mother, and how beautiful she was despite her growing stomach. She was always inviting Sirius and I over for dinner, and James always told her that she did too much. But she was happy, and so we were too. Lily decorated the baby's room with only a little help from the father-to-be, and we teased her that she was spoiling the baby before it was born.

But she didn't get a chance to spoil him much after he was born.

I remember coming to see her after she had the baby, and she was tired, but she was beaming. She was cradling him in her arms, and he was absolutely perfect. He looked like James, with his dark hair, and his eyes were gray-blue like all baby's are, but they eventually turned emerald green. Like Lily's. James was standing there, the proud father. He let Sirius and I take turns holding the baby, but he always watched him closely. At that moment, I could tell that he would be a wonderful father.

But now Harry James Potter doesn't remember his father.

I remember how dark it was that night. I knew something was wrong. I hurried to Lily and James' house, but it was in shambles. I frantically dug through the wreckage, sobbing because I knew they were gone. I found her, laying there. She looked so peaceful. Her emerald eyes were already closed, and I knew that I would never see them open again. I laid her on the grass and dug back through the wreckage for James. My vision was so blurry that it was a miracle I ever found him, but I did. He was asleep, too, never to wake again. And I cried for him, because he was my best friend. Because we would never laugh about pranks we pulled again, because we would never teach Harry to play Quidditch, because we would never speak to each other again. At least, not for what seems like an impossibly long time. I wanted to know why they had to leave me, how someone could kill people like the Potters. I cried over James' dead body, I yelled into the still night. And when I couldn't cry anymore, I laid James next to Lily, and I looked at them both. My best friend with the forever-messy hair, and Lily, with her red hair and her beautiful eyes. Hagrid had already come and taken Harry away, and I was happy because their son had lived, but I was sad because I knew I would see them in him. People celebrated that night. They shot off fireworks and they laughed because the Dark Lord was vanquished. They didn't care that Lily and James Potter had been murdered and their son orphaned, so I cried some more.

But crying doesn't help.

James is gone.

Lily is gone.

The world celebrated that night.

And the days of Quidditch stars and emerald eyes are over.