Impending Arrival

Thane's heart skipped a beat when the shuttle opened and his siha stepped out into the rain. She'd made him promise to wait for her within the dome instead of straining his lungs by standing outside to welcome her the moment she arrived. Three weeks without her felt like an eternity. His smile widened when Garrus joined Shepard, and together, they started walking toward the domed city.

"You love her more than you loved Mother." Kolyat's words shattered the moment by driving a fist into Thane's solar plexus. "My apologies, Father. That isn't what … I only meant …. You just looked so happy."

Regaining his composure, Thane turned away from the window to face his son. He reached out and placed a hand on Kolyat's shoulder. "I understand, and yes, Shepard makes me very happy. I do love her, dearly, but I loved your mother as well. I still love your mother; I always will. I don't love Shepard more, I love her differently, as I am a different man than the one who married Irikah."

"And she loves the turian, too?" Kolyat's brow ridge twitched upward, but there was no judgement in the weight of his gaze.

Thane dipped his head and smiled. "She does."

"That doesn't bother you?" Kolyat turned his attention to the window.

"No," Thane said, following his son's gaze to watch Shepard and Garrus. "Not anymore. Admittedly it was … difficult to accept at first, but I see how important they are to one another, and Garrus treats me with honor and respect. It eases my mind to know he will still be there for her when I have gone to the sea."

The conversation died down as his siha reached the door to the domed city. Drawn to her, the need to wrap his arms around her propelled him forward. The door opened, and Shepard and Garrus stepped inside. She scanned the room, gaze darting from face to face. The moment she found him, joy flared to life in her eyes. She grinned, the smile nearly stretching clear across her face, and she broke into a jog.

He quickened his pace, closing the distance between them. When he realized she wasn't slowing, he braced himself for impact and held out his arms. She slammed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and he scooped her up. She chuckled and buried her face between her arm and his frills as he swung her around. When he let her feet touch the floor once more, she pulled back to look up at him, and he captured her lips with his own.

The feel of her lips and the taste of her kiss boiled the blood in his veins. Memories of their lovemaking pushed forward, her tongue in his mouth the only thing keeping him from giving voice to the details. Spoken aloud or not, past or present, her slick warmth surrounded him in that moment, filling him with ecstasy. He wrestled with the memories, fighting them back before he became erect standing right there in the middle of the city.

Arms resting on the table between them, she held his hands, thumbs brushing across his scales. "So, still nothing unusual? No signs of indoctrination?"

"No, not that I've noticed." He shook his head and squeezed her hands. "If I were indoctrinated, however …." He trailed off when she pressed her lips together and swallowed before nodding.

The thought never strayed far from his mind. Would he recognize such subtle changes in himself? Would indoctrination allow such a thing? It wasn't as if Kolyat truly knew him well enough to take note of any uncharacteristic behaviors. He worried about that, too. What if he were indoctrinated and it forced him to harm his son? What's more, with his training and particular level of skill … becoming indoctrinated made Thane a serious threat to everyone on Kahje, not just Kolyat.

Yet, he couldn't bring himself to spend his final days anywhere else. Might that be indoctrination in action?

"How are you feeling?" she asked, drawing him from his ruminations. "Physically, I mean."

He didn't want to tell her the truth—hated admitting to his weaknesses—but he wouldn't tell her lies. "I—I'm beginning to experience some troubling symptoms of Kepral's Syndrome." Worse than anything, he despised being the cause of the pain etching itself onto her face. "It's nothing I can't manage, siha."

"Yet." Closing her eyes, she sucked in a deep breath while scraping her teeth over her lower lip. She squeezed his hands and met his gaze again. "Gods, I'd give anything to make you healthy." Her voice cracked, tears welling in her eyes, and his heart twisted in his chest.

"I know," he said, tightening his grip on her hands in return, "and if I could change the past … if I could undo …. Ah." There were so many mistakes haunting his life, so many things he'd change if he were given such an opportunity. It was a dark path, and he didn't wish to travel down it too far. "I, too, wish I had more time left with you."

She gave him a sad smile. "It's not just that." Shaking her head, she glanced around his little apartment before looking him in the eyes again. "I don't want you to have to go through this. You've never had to suffer through the worst of Kepral's, but this time—we've changed even this, and now …. Maybe being stabbed was a mercy for you. For the other yous."

"Siha," he said, frowning as he stood and tugged her out of her chair and into his arms. "Please, I never want you to blame yourself for my condition or whatever path I am on in this life. I know what's to come. I've always known what my diagnosis and my refusal to seek aggressive, invasive treatments and surgeries meant I must face. I chose this, Shepard. Long before I met you. I wish now that I hadn't, but this is my mistake, not yours."

She pressed her face against his chest, and he rested his chin atop her head. She didn't respond to his statements, but he knew her silence meant she disagreed. He considered pressing the matter further, but he didn't want to risk souring what little time they had together. Instead, he just held her, breathing in the aromatic mixture of scents from her hair, skin, and clothes.

~69696969~

Garrus watched the Krios kid as he placed their dinner order. Unsurprisingly, the dextro selection was extremely limited, but Garrus planned ahead, bringing enough field rations with him to get through a couple of days. Dawn said she only planned to spend one night on Kahje, but if he had his way, they'd be staying two. She needed the time with Thane, and even though war loomed on the horizon, there was nowhere else she had to be just then.

"So … what's there to do on Kahje?" He loosely crossed his arms and leaned a hip against the counter.

Kolyat chuckled and glanced at him before handing the woman a credit chit. "Not a lot." Turning away, he gestured at some padded benches over by the door and started walking. "We can wait over here."

Humming, Garrus pushed off the counter and followed. He waited for the Krios kid to take a seat before sitting down, too. "Well, what do you do to pass the time? Besides looking for women to give you tattoos?"

He flicked a mandible and smirked, remembering how brazenly the kid flirted with Jack back on the Normandy—offering to let her tattoo him if she wanted. Mordin called it a 'mating request', and the look on Thane's face …. It was a hilariously awkward moment Garrus would never forget. He thought about gloating and reminding Kolyat that Jack hadn't shot him down. He didn't, though. He didn't want to complicate things even more for Thane if it turned out the kid didn't have a sense of humor.

Kolyat grinned and leaned back, resting against the glass of the restaurant's window. "Lately, I've been spending time with Father. When we're not together, however, I'm usually working or attending classes. Father convinced me to go to secondary," he said with a shrug, "and learn 'an honest, decent trade.'"

"As opposed to following in his footsteps?" Garrus chuffed and fluttered his mandibles. He'd had a couple of conversations with Thane about Kolyat's near-miss with becoming a gun-for-hire, and he knew how terrified the thought of Kolyat taking someone's life made Thane. "Can't say I blame him. I don't have children, but I doubt I'd want them doing something so …." He was going to say dangerous and illegal, but stopped himself and gave the kid a one-shoulder shrug. They were in public, afterall.

"Unsavory?" Kolyat offered with a scoff before letting his gaze roam the tables packed with drell dining-in. "You sound like him."

"Unsafe." Not that being an assassin didn't qualify as 'unsavory' but it wasn't the point. Garrus turned his palms out and shrugged again when the kid looked his way. "Well, what 'honest, decent trade' are you studying?"

Kolyat stared at Garrus for a moment, saying nothing before turning his attention to the comings and goings of people in the restaurant once more. "Safety isn't his concern. He says he doesn't want me 'following in his footsteps' because he's worried about my soul. Apparently he isn't worried about his own because he's Compact trained. It's hypocritical, and honestly somewhat offensive, but it's not as if I've spent my whole life wanting to do what he does."

Garrus chuffed and shook his head. "Do you actually believe that crap?" Flaring his mandibles, he shook his head again when Kolyat looked his way. "He cares about his soul. He joined Shepard's mission against the collectors because it was a way to put his skills to use doing something good. The whole Compact trained thing … hmm." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lowering his voice. "Listen, I can't say I know Thane better than anyone else, but I've gotten to know him well enough to see he clings to those ideals to protect himself. If he allowed himself to consciously take responsibility for it all … it'd break him. He prays for his soul after every, ah, completed job; I've seen it myself. He's trying to find redemption before he passes on, and a big part of that for him is making sure you do better in life than he has. He wants to make sure you're safe, both body and soul."

~69696969~

Shepard leaned against Garrus' side while she watched Kolyat and Thane clean up after dinner. It was nice seeing them together, especially without Kolyat's attitude spoiling the moment. He wasn't quite the same young man of the amalgamation's memories, but he'd definitely matured significantly in the last few months. He seemed a little awkward, though, when talking to Shepard. She suspected it had more to do with his mother than it actually did with her, but he didn't say and she didn't ask. The last thing she wanted to do was risk creating waves for Thane.

Garrus rumbled softly, the sound reverberating through her side, and she glanced up at him. Attention locked on something across the room, he flicked his mandibles, agitation locking his jaw closed tight. She tensed, sitting up a little straighter, and followed his gaze to look at the galactic news broadcast playing on the vid screen. A smartly dressed turian and asari stared back at her through the camera, and even though the volume was too low for her to make out anything they said, her translator had no problem with the words scrolling across the bottom of the screen.

Deep space scanners have detected multiple, massive objects beyond the arms of the galaxy. The objects appear to be moving at FTL speeds and are headed toward the Milky Way.

"They're here," Jane said, her warriness flooding their connection.

Blood dropping to subzero temperatures in her veins, her throat dried, and she licked her lips. "Turn it up," she said, voice cracking, and she pushed herself completely upright and scooted to the edge of the couch. "Thane?" she called out but didn't turn to see if he'd heard.

"Analysts believe we are seeing the approach of the reapers Council Spectre Commander Shepard first attempted to warn us of during her hunt for former Specter Saren Arterius. As we all know," the asari said, glancing at her cohost, "the Council initially dismissed Shepard's claims of the reapers and instead insisted that Sovereign was nothing more than a flagship of geth design."

She didn't hear his approach, but suddenly Thane sat at her other side and wrapped his fingers around her hand. Kolyat stood just in her peripherals, staring at the vid screen in silence. Shepard sucked in a deep breath when the screen shifted to show an image of Sovereign descending on the Citadel. Garrus rumbled again and wrapped an arm around her back, hand settling on her waist.

"Recently, the Council has come forward with an admission of the existence of the reapers—"

Her omni-tool pinged, vibrating against her wrist, but she didn't bother to even look. Half a second later, she heard Garrus and Thane's do the same.

"There's no point." Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and stared down the asari councilor. "Just because you've confirmed their approach doesn't mean anything's changed. What do you want me to do? Make a public announcement saying, 'I told you so?' Of course people are panicking. That's on you, not me. The Council made the decision to wait so long to inform the galaxy of the threat. The fact is, we're as prepared as we are at this moment in spite of the Council. You've undermined and sabotaged me every step of the way, but I've been out there spreading the word, securing alliances, gathering resources, shoring up defenses …."

"Shepard's right," Anderson said, and he turned to face the other councilors. "She should continue on with what she's doing, not acting as some sort of spokesperson for the Council. We need her out there, as a Spectre."

"Be that as it may …" Tevos waved a hand. "… the Council's hold on diplomacy is unraveling. The people want to hear from Shepard. They trust her to give them reassurance and direction."

"I think what Tevos is trying to say," Quentius said, gaze steady on Shepard, and it earned him a side glare from Tevos, "is that people want you to tell them whether or not to trust the Council as we move into war."

Jane snickered, and Shepard had to work to keep a smirk off of her face.

"Thank you, Quentius, but I am quite capable of expressing myself clearly." Tevos plastered a smile on her face and threaded her fingers together, letting her arms hang across the front of her body. "We withheld the truth from the public for as long as we did to prevent chaos. We discussed this, Shepard." She tilted her head to the side. "If we disclosed the truth too soon, there would be widespread panic, hoarding, riots. The galactic economy would grind to a halt. Our efforts to prepare would've been significantly hindered. You were able to do the things you have done to help ready the galaxy for an invasion not in spite of but because of the Council and our decisions."

Shepard scoffed and rolled her eyes. She was so far beyond dealing with the Council's bullshit. "Look," she said, taking a slow, deep breath to calm herself before the amalgamation took control, "I already planned on heading to the Citadel tomorrow. We can discuss this further then. Tonight, I'm spending time with my loved ones while I still can. I suggest you all go home and do the same." She cut the call.

~69696969~

Thane clung to her, exhilarated, with his senses nearly overwhelmed. He felt consumed by his desire for Shepard, and he sacrificed himself to her appetites with the same earnestness. Smooth skin and succulent curves gave way to firm muscle beneath his fingertips. She lowered herself, taking him inside of her, so warm and slick and tight. Oh, sweet Arashu.

Her breath hitched and stuttered, a soft moan escaping her throat. She kneaded his shoulders and rolled her hips, pulling him in deeper. A little shudder ran through her as she stretched around him, and she covered his mouth with her own. He slipped his tongue past her lips, tasting his own venom in her kiss, and it only made him want more.

Movements slow and deliberate, she pushed up on her knees, sliding along his length. She trapped his lower lip between her teeth and then sucked the sting away. He groaned and tugged on her hips, drawing her down as he thrust upward. Claiming his mouth completely, she squeezed tight around him and rolled her hips in small circles. Head swimming, he needed more air, but he didn't dare pull away. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her tighter. She threaded her fingers through his crest, using her other hand to caress his shoulder and arm.

Breaking the kiss, she nuzzled against his neck, panting breath heating his frills in the most delightful way. Gripping tight, he rolled and tucked her beneath him without having to break contact. She locked her ankles behind his knees, using the leverage to match his movements. Being inside of her felt like a miracle; her sweet moans of pleasure, the very blessings of the gods. He wished he could hold onto her forever.

"I love you," she whispered against his scales. "I love you, so much, Thane." Desperation filled her voice, fueling his need to hold onto the moment for as long as possible.

"And I, you, siha." He turned his head to brush his lips over her temple before adding, "I love you, with all that I am."

His chest ached, whether from his illness or breaking heart, he wasn't certain. Perhaps it was both. It was, afterall, his failing health which kept him from joining his siha, leaving him filled equally with fear and sorrow. The news of the impending arrival of the reapers was taking her from him quicker than he'd hoped, and soon, she might be beyond his reach forever.

The door closes behind Garrus, leaving me alone with Shepard. Tears spill over her lids, rolling down her cheeks. They smell of the ocean, and Spike scents the air, wrapping himself tighter around her arm. Her gaze meets mine briefly, and my heart aches for her. I want to pull her into my arms, protect her, keep her safe from her own destiny.

She drags the chair over to the terrarium, and I cross the floor to hold it steady as she climbs onto the seat. She lowers her arm into the tank, using her free hand to urge the serpent back into the confines of its artificial habitation.

"Remember to breathe, Siha." I can't save her from what's to come, but perhaps I can help her prepare. Help her to endure the darkness. "You have faced worse than this, I have no doubts you will find a solution." I hold my hand out to her when she looks at me, more tears welling in her eyes.

She takes my hand, her smooth skin warming my palm, and steps down from the chair. Her fingers slip away, leaving mine twitching with the desire to touch her again. She wipes her eyes. "I'm making a mess of this, Thane." Her voice is hoarse and thick with the strain she must be exerting to keep herself as calm as she appears. "None of this has ever happened before. Things are falling apart, and I'm not going to be around in the end to help him pick up the pieces." Her eyes plead with me to understand. "Maybe Jane's right. Maybe I'm just making it all worse."

"I do not believe that she is …" I don't know what to say. Don't know how to make any of this better for her, and I despise my own ineptitude. "… you shouldn't give up hope that you will survive this."

She laughs, the sound cold with a sharp, cutting edge. "Hell, Thane, you might just outlive me this time."

The words sting as if she slapped me. I don't want her to see my pain. Turn my gaze to the floor. "I—I find that an oddly discomforting notion." I swallow, fighting against the knot settling into my throat. "You are strong, Shepard. There is still time, you could survive this."

"Hey," Shepard's soft, imploring voice pulled him from the memory. "You still with me?"

Smiling, he pulled her into his embrace. "I was just remembering the first time we kissed." It wasn't the complete truth, but neither was it a lie. Had she not spoken just then, their first kiss and the resulting disaster would've played itself out in his mind, as well.

She snorted and draped her arms over his shoulders. "We really did get off to a rough start, didn't we?"

"Indeed." He chuckled, but the humor quickly faded. "Be safe, siha. I will miss you terribly."

"I'll come back to see you again, I promise." The certainty in her gaze seemed stronger than steel. "Just take care of yourself while I'm gone, okay?"

"You have my word." Cupping the side of her face, he pressed his lips against hers for a moment. A fleeting moment, over with far too soon.